Status
Ended
Network
CBS
SEASON
EPISODE

Comedy, Romance

DESCRIPTION

How I Met Your Mother is an American sitcom that originally aired on CBS from September 19, 2005, to March 31, 2014. The series follows the main character, Ted Mosby, and his group of friends in Manhattan. As a framing device, Ted, in the year 2030, recounts to his son and daughter the events that led to his meeting their mother.

Season 1

Aired 13 years ago - May 15, 2006

Ted tries to keep Robin from going on a camping trip so that she can spend time with him. Barney enlists the help of an old flame to perform a rain dance. At the same time Marshall finds out about Lily's interview for the fellowship in San Francisco.

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Hello.
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Maybe you should just knock.
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We look forward to hearing from you. Bye-bye.
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I mean I've half said it. I've tried to say it, and I've said it badly.
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Oh, I'm sorry.
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Yeah, 'cause when we talked earlier, you said there'd be pizza.
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- You're crazy. - Right. Come on.
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I gotta think about this.
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So it's blue skies this weekend.
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I will always treasure it.
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What do you mean?
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I mean is this not a date?
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- I don't plan out every... - Oh, really? What is all of this?
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It's like you're floating out in space.
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If you want me to say yes right now, I-I can't do that.
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Look at the bright side. At least you got some closure.
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'Cause I mean it to be.
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- In California? - I was never going to take it.
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Look, I-I might be crazy right now... No, you know what?
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She's gonna teach me how to do a rain dance.
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- We're finding Penelope! - No, we are not!
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How is that a relationship?
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You know, the traditional rain dance is a sacred prayer to nature.
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- Kind of like Barney? - Kind of.
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I will throw you off this roof.
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with a string quartet and roses and chocolates...
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But I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic.
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Come on, Lily. It's what you've always wanted.
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Oh, maybe when you said you wouldn't let me do it.
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Oh, lobster, lobster, lobster, you are delicious!
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with popcorn shrimp mountains and butter sauce rivers!
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Hey, Penelope, have you, uh, have you ever actually seen a rain dance performed?
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Terrific. Uh, look, I should run.
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Couple of days ago, the biggest problem in my life was,
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It's just something I'm going through.
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Because you're scaring the hell out of me, that's why not.
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Thank you.
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Look, I highly doubt the Great Spirit is a stickler for choreography.
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I told her that the first night we went out,
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Aired 13 years ago - May 08, 2006

When a matchmaking company calls Ted claiming they have found his soul mate, he is forced to postpone his date when Lily asks for his help.

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- It's not like I have a list. - Oh, yes, you do.
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Any Kim from any cool band, really.
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And little did I know, at that very moment, fate--
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and he hated every minute of it.
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Check out that guy.
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Oh! Sweet Lord.
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That is sick!
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What?
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I recruited you to be my executive mischief consultant.
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Mr. Mosby, how you doing, sir? Bob Rorschach over here at Love Solutions.
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I don't understand. What happened to Ellen Pierce? Doesn't she run this place?
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You found me a match?
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So I read the file. And by God, this woman was perfect.
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Then I got this e-mail from Butterfield.
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But Executive Mischief Consultant Marshall Eriksen reporting for duty.
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Can't you just call Marshall?
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No, drifter, no!
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I swear on Luke and Leia.
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He wouldn't have understood. He's not exactly nervous about tying the knot.
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And then I started thinking about Victoria and how she followed her dream to Germany,
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But I love painting, and I've always wondered if I'm any good.
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Of course I want to get married.
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But you chose one in a city 3,000 miles away, and you didn't tell Marshall.
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I'm supposed to go home and-and be with Marshall.
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Marriage is big. You're allowed to freak out.
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Okay, yes, it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake.
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because then you go your whole life not really knowing if something is a mistake or not.
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Ted, I'm getting married in two months, and I'm freaking out,
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Hey, Lily, this is Ted, the guy you left stranded by the side of the road.
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Is that Ted?
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No, no, no. Just... forget it. Ha, ha! A little prank.
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Hey, check out this one. It actually looks like Butterfield.
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Maybe.
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Nope. Sworn to secrecy.
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I thought it might look cool. Of course my colorist took "highlights" to mean,
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Big date tonight.
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More like "Love in the Time of Don't Bothera."
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Let's see what else... Oh, she doesn't look like a tiger-- check.
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You know, Ted, not everyone is as much of a woman as you.
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I hope she's everything you're looking for.
Aired 13 years ago - May 01, 2006

Lily, Barney and Robin attend a high school prom to scout out a potential band for Lily and Marshall's wedding reception. In order to get in Lily and Robin pretend to be the dates of two kids who were going alone. Ted and Marshall are back at the apartment where they are preparing the invitations to be sent out.

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Band! We forgot a band!
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I saw them two months ago at my cousin Bonzo's wedding, they were great.
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Baby, The 88 don't audition.
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Guys! I just tasted an amazing caterer.
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Yeah, we'll just call the high school, they'll let us stand in the back and watch.
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It's nine weeks till the wedding.
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We always had field hockey nationals in the spring.
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and you've got "statutory" written all over your body.
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'Cause, you know, you be a bad, bad man, and I be an outlaw.
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They all dress like strippers.
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All right.
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The dress I wore to my actual prom.
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Aw, you look great, too, Scooter.
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Scooter, you're gonna be an umpire someday.
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Two beautiful flowers for two beautiful flowers.
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Come on! You've been doing wedding stuff nonstop. Take a break.
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All right, what kind of prize are we talking?
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Whee-hoo! Happy prom, everybody.
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I'm sorry, ma'am. You either need to be a student or the date of a student.
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Hey, guys. Do you want to take two hot girls to prom?
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Oh, hey, wait. How's Barney getting in?
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That tastes like cough syrup.
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I was wondering if you guys could play "Good Feeling" by the Violent Femmes.
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Look, I'm kinda wasted right now, so I didn't understand any of that.
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Hey, it's Robin. Um, Lily needs you to download the sheet music
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Uh, I don't know. Things have been so weird between us.
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Okay, bye.
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There's just so much to do for this wedding. My head is swirling.
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We move into my dad's house in Staten Island.
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There's still so much I want to do.
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I can change. I can look more like Kurt Cobain.
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Uh, leave this place in my dust, four awesome years at college,
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before your time wondering "Whatever happened to my hopes and my dreams?"
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you're a nice guy, but I just don't...
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- Wait here, I should go talk to the band. - All right.
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I finally got a girl and I'm not going to let you take her away from me.
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I just keep thinking about the girl I was ten years ago
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even if it means being a waitress in crappy cafés for five years, I don't care.
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I'm sorry. What was your name again?
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Aired 13 years ago - Apr 24, 2006

Robin is nominated to receive an award for a news report and everyone needs a date to take to the show. Barney introduces Ted to Mary as a date that Ted can take to the show. Originally Ted is opposed to the idea of just trying to save face in front of Robin but when she shows up with a date he changes his mind. Robin asks Mary lots of questions, and Ted begins to really like Mary, despite her occupation. MORE -LESS

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- Ted, you are in a slump. - No, it's not a slump.
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A naked dudes hanging brain.
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You want to judge a fellow human being based solely on one external characteristic?
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So should I wear my hair up or down?
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and now the kids are just going crazy by the end of the day.
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Do you think, um... hypothetically... it would be weird if I bring a date?
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No, it's not going to be weird at all.
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Look, in spite of whatever happened between us, Robin and I are still friends.
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Nice to meet you Ted.
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Dude, your narrow-minded views on professional fornicators were harshing my mellow.
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you'll come to see that courtesans are people, too.
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Look, I'm just trying to expand your horizons a little bit tonight.
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I'm not trying to make Robin jealous, Barney.
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It's Sandy Rivers.
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Here we have, on the front page, a story about a...
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Yosemite Sandy, definitely.
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- You look nice. - Oh, um, Ted, this is Sandy.
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Uh, Robin, Sandy... Rivers...
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king of the Saturday Afternoon Kung Fu Movie,
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Man, Vampire Lou just looks great.
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No, not really.
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Oh, yeah, I'm just tired. And when I get tired, I get cranky.
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Work at a private school. You won't have to deal with the school board,
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A prostitute.
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I just assist with day-to-day clerical work in a law firm downtown.
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Yes, it's encouraged.
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Don't let him out of your sight for a minute.
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where I make an actual contribution to the world.
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this girl, despite what she did for a living, was kind of great.
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So you're going to be mad at me forever? What, we're not even friends now?
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You know something? Mary the paralegal is awesome.
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- Hey. - Hey.
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Yeah? Maybe it's too bad we don't have a room.
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Sleep with a prostitute?
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And second of all, you cannot do this.
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Mike Murphy for 13, Pregnant and Addicted.
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And that's it. Those are all my friends.
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Yeah, this party's dead. Mary, you want to go upstairs?
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Besides, I'm trying to make Robin jealous.
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Well...
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So you and he aren't...?
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and we tell each other everything. So, here it goes.
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and then Barney calls her up and then she shows up at the bar
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Oh, my God, I used her lipstick! Ah!
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Vampire Lou, would you do the honors?
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Aired 13 years ago - Apr 10, 2006

Robin, who is very lonely, asks Ted to come over to her apartment after 2 A.M., but he isn't sure if he wants to go as he has a phone call on the way over with his friends, and with Victoria on his mind

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Anyway, now he has this girlfriend in Germany
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And even if you're not, don't worry, I'll have a good time either way.
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Home number. Call me anytime.
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and I was going to make some juice, and I was, like,
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because the decisions you make after 2:00 a.m. are the wrong decisions.
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This is fine. This is totally fine.
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See, she was supposed to call me four hours ago to have a serious talk.
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Okay, relax, Robin's just a friend.
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so actually, you put it in your own head.
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Um, I'm... Yeah, this is stupid. It's not even a big deal, but
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Do you remember the huge secret that you told me
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Well, I'm better friends with Ted than you are.
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Damn it, Victoria, where are you? Pick up, pick up!
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Ted, what does your mom always say?
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but she's very vulnerable right now and you have a girlfriend.
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Uh, you're right. I'll, uh, I'll see you at home.
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"And then she's gonna make you some delicious juice."
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Make it a big glass.
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Do you ever have one of those days?
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When the clock strikes 2:00, just go to sleep.
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Oh, Ted, I'm so sorry. That's just terrible. I feel awful.
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He rocks... infinity.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 33
When I look back at the best stories of my life--
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 34
We're going home.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 35
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but I think the whole time a little part of me wanted this phone instead.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 37
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I'm at Robin's.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 39
Victoria's great, but, it's Robin.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 40
But if you do this right now, your entire future with her will be built on a crime.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 41
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- I'm sorry. I... - Oh. Oh, no. I understand.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 43
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I mean, there's five dogs in there, but...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 46
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Okay.
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Not from the bathroom of the girl that you're about to sleep with.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 49
How many women can say they've been personally serenaded by Korean Elvis?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 50
Okay, if we're at the "le," then I say we follow it up with a "t's go home."
Aired 13 years ago - Mar 20, 2006

Marshall interns at the corporation where Barney works and Lily finds that he is becoming a shallow jerk as he tries to fit in with his crude fratty coworkers. Meanwhile, Ted feels guilty when he receives several gifts from Victoria (Erika Singh) while he hasn't sent her anything.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 1
Sorry to bother you, but we've had reports of a sasquatch loose in the building.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 2
Look at you.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 3
Hey, so, now that I'm working here, are you finally going to tell me exactly what your job is?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 4
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Oh, my gosh, Jessica Simpson? What a surprise.
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Okay, fiancee's dead. Hit by a bus. What do you do? Go.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 7
Anyway, I got the care package, and it's just great.
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Oh, and, um... don't worry, yours is in the mail.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 9
So that's the problem. You work on that. I'm gonna eat this cupcake.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 10
That's brilliant.
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Okay, fine, I have feelings for him.
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The guys I work with are a bunch of jerks.
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Oh... Does she cut the crusts off your sandwich, too?
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P.S. If you've unfolded this note, your kiss already got out. Quick-- catch it."
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 15
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We're not even working together, Barney. I'm in the legal department and you're...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 17
Marshall. Lily's a catch.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 18
when she's supporting you on a kindergarten teacher's salary
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But will you be happy knowing you could have made her a lot happier.
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Eventually you just run out of stuff to say.
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And you know why? Because you're different.
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Not necessarily. Okay, at first, I was appalled,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 27
and it's cool and I'm doing it.
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Yeah, but it's one thing to say it, it's another thing to show it.
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Marshall, I should feel tremors of psychitude rock my body like a seizure.
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- Ow! That hurt! - So badly.
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You sure? You want to practice your story one more time?
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So we find this choice nudie nest near the airport...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 34
...that was steak sauce!
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So she's going to dump me.
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Ted, you're a great guy. I know it, you know it, she knows it.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 38
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...what do you think?
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No, when Dr. Australia Birdbath-Vaseline came home from the gorillas,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 41
Okay, those guys were mean at first, yes,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 42
But wait, knock-knock, back door, who's there?
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Nah. I'm so over karaoke.
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"Don't Go Breaking My Heart." Elton John, Kiki Dee.
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On Monday, Bilson and I are going to talk to Montague in HR.
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Aw, we're gonna own the office.
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I just thought that maybe I could make some money for a few years.
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You've got a great package, Marshall. I love your package.
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but you've got a huge package.
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No, what's the point of going out? I got a girlfriend... for now.
Aired 13 years ago - Mar 06, 2006

Things are going great with Ted and Victoria's relationship, but when Victoria is offered her dream job, the couple have to make serious relationship decisions. Meanwhile Marshall and Lily set out to purchase their wedding outfits and find out that none can afford what they bought.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 1
I figured I didn't have much of a chance, 'cause they don't let many Americans in, but...
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Mm-hmm. And if you do, what does that mean for us?
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Do you have any thoughts?
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It's like shopping in a marshmallow.
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A tailor in the back room of a pet store?
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I don't want to lose Victoria, but I can't ask her to stay just for me.
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I'm juggling four right now.
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Well, she kept talking about this cheesy French guy, Gabriel.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 10
I got the crazy eyes going, and I said,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 11
To be even more honest, I am.
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Well, I don't know if she is. It's still so early, but yeah, she could be.
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Look, she can't be a cat person. I'm a dog person, I'm attracted to other dog people.
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She's a cat person.
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We get sued a lot.
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It's just too much pressure on a new relationship.
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Everything here is dark and sketchy and seems illegal.
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I saw a couple up front that were nice.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 21
Damn you Old Navy and your reasonably-priced three-packs!
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Ugh. All talking and no sex. Kill me now.
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This is Ted.
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- Oh! - Oh!
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In college, I did an art course in Paris.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 26
and I never figured out why.
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Hello.
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Maybe he was in a pet store.
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Oh, God, you guys are sucky liars.
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Okay.
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Look... I know you're not Victoria's biggest fan,
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I know what you mean.
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Choosing Ted over your career doesn't make you un-feminist.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 35
Okay, I am.
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Oh, don't tell me how much it costs.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 37
Well, it's okay.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 38
Yes, you're right.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 39
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I wanted to give you... this.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 41
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but when you just told me to stay, it made me realize that I have to go.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 43
Well, that's just crazy.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 44
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Yeah, she... she's still in town.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 47
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No, the leg is a metaphor.
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Yeah, we'll walk across the Brooklyn Bridge.
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and all of those nice things.
Aired 13 years ago - Feb 06, 2006

A mysterious tape arrives for Barney from one of his numerous ex-girlfriends, and the entire gang watches it. But, in order for them all to find out how she broke Barney's heart and made him into a suit-wearing bachelor, everyone must share their most embarrassing moment.

Aired 13 years ago - Feb 27, 2006

After agreeing to take things slowly and not have sex for a month, Ted and Victoria decide that they have waited long enough.

Aired 13 years ago - Jan 23, 2006

Ted finds a new woman at the wedding. They want to remember the evening so they don't exchange last names or numbers; but Ted takes a big fall when he tries to find out her name.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 1
What are you saying?
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No e-mails, no phone numbers, not even names.
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Ted, Ted, Ted. Look, I got a bridesmaid.
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Oh, what is wrong with you?
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Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
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That's just what girls do.
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I will use exactly the right amount of tongue.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 13
The moment right before the lips touch. It's like a big drumroll.
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So, what, you just... you said good night, came home and...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 16
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No, Ted, you don't mess with a honeymoon.
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Oh, you have got to be freaking kidding me!
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Uh, no. Her name was Victoria. I don't know her last name.
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There was no Victoria at the wedding.
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I know that she wasn't a ghost.
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This better be good-- I am about to enter Nirvana.
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Great! Um, I'm gonna need you to call her for me.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 24
Uh, Ted going all castrati over yet another girl is exactly not a good cause.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 25
to Foxy Boxing.
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Just one fewer day I get to help people.
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So what do you want to do next?
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Well, I'm shipping out pretty early, so I won't be able to stay over,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 30
Or Ictor.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 31
But then...
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Congrats! That's so cool!
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Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Um...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 36
But I don't actually cry in front of people or...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 37
Because you have feelings for Ted.
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Look, okay, yes. I cried in the bathroom and that... was weird.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 39
Okay, fine. I have feelings for him.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 40
Or you could tell him that you're into him and then you could both be happy.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 41
she gave me 50 bucks to take a cab to the airport.
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Um... I, uh, I have to tell you something.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 43
Ted... I'm sorry I hung up on you earlier.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 44
...have helped me realize that sometimes I can act like a crazy person,
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Sounds like you could use it.
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Care to chime in with anything?
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Ted, suit up.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 50
Aired 13 years ago - Jan 09, 2006

Robin accepts Ted's invite to a friend's wedding, but thanks to Ted, the couple may never make it down the aisle.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 1
Okay. I'm just saying that it's my wedding, too, and I should have a say in it.
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but, you know, I was drunk.
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You want to be my plus one?
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Oh, I'll bring it.
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Invigorating, thanks.
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if I go to my wedding and the cake is not Tahitian Vanilla,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 9
Oh, well, yeah, I'm... bringing a date, so I'll be off the market.
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You are not bringing a date to my wedding!
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If you had checked "plus one," I would have called you to get the name of your guest,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 12
Don't make me hurt you, Ted.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 13
See, for all your big talk about being ready for a relationship, deep down, you're single.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 14
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She's about to get married, she's got enough to worry about.
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Wait, two things. First of all... I have been laying groundwork all afternoon.
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You guys have been friends for a long time.
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Claudia called our seven-year-old flower girl a whore.
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Honey, this magazine says more and more couples are opting
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I did it. I did it-- I'm taking her to the wedding.
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It's Claudia.
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Answer it!
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so I'm really excited about tomorrow, okay, bye.
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Okay, meet me at MacLaren's. I'll see you there.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 32
What say we get these crazy kids back together?
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Oh, God, I'm so sorry. That's just, that's...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 34
So... is there anything else you need... sweetie?
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Dude, who doesn't?
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I'm not a commitment guy; I'm a single guy.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 38
Tell him, Marshall.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 39
that should be the easiest thing in the world, and if it's not like that,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 40
Maybe that's what the problem was.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 41
Claudia... it's all gonna be okay.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 42
Two souls, of equal levels of attractiveness,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 43
and so help me God, if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 44
I'm so sorry.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 45
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No, no, no, no!
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Oh, yeah. I thought about leaving it at home,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 48
You're kidding.
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Aired 13 years ago - Dec 19, 2005

Ted rents a limo to take the gang out to sample five New Year's Eve parties in a quest to find the perfect celebration.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 1
Well, this kind of sucks.
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I can't believe we're leaving a party that had pigs in blankets.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 3
- My word. - You're, you're friendly.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 4
- So, where are you from, Natalya? - She... Who knows?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 5
but the pain-to-hotness ratio is pretty steep.
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- Ranjit, party number three. - Party number three. Yeah.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 8
So while you may chose to turn your back on her,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 9
- Hey, Robin. - Ted, Derek stood me up.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 10
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Maybe I should just go home.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 13
- Hi, I'm Robin. - Mary Beth.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 14
Yeah, we like hot dogs.
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Baby, you go with them and I'll meet you at, at...
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Look at us. Riding around in a limo.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 19
Now, kids, Moby was a popular recording artist when I was young.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 20
What's up? Uh, you, uh, going somewhere?
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- Wow. You're friendly. - Big fan.
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- All right. - Uh, Ted.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 23
- All the circuits are jammed. - That's New Year's Eve for you.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 24
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This mix is my pride and joy.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 26
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So your name is Tony?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 28
Happy New Year, Not Moby.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 29
I see a short bald hipster, my mind goes straight to Moby.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 30
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Uh, no, I know Moby and that's Mo...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 32
Ranjit, drive!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 33
It's time to... what? That's right, re-psych.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 34
Barney, Barney, Barney, it's not worth it!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 35
Ted, I don't want you to see me pissed.
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everyone around the world.
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Round and round it goes.
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Ted went to a lot of trouble to make this an awesome New Year's.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 39
"Darling, you give love a bad name, bad name!"
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 40
No. Look, I know this night isn't turning out the way I planned, but...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 41
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Okay, wow, it's getting weird in here.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 44
Did you forget about our little deal? Because I did not.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 45
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Stop trying to chase down some magical, perfect New Years, Ted.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 48
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After party number four, I figured you guys went to party number five.
Aired 13 years ago - Nov 28, 2005

After being forced into knocking back 5 shots, so he will stop thinking, Ted goes on a partying rampage. The next morning he wakes up with a woman in his bed, but he does not know who it is. So he turns to his friends to try and piece the night together and work out who the woman is in his bed.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 1
Ted, I believe you and I met for a reason.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 2
and it's gonna keep on happening until you power down that bucket of neuroses inibriation style.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 3
Maybe you should overdrink.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 4
Let me tell you something about this dream, okay?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 5
This brain is unstoppable.
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Okay, uh... What the hell happened last night?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 9
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 10
That's funny. I'm funny!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 11
Oh, hi, Ted.
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Robin, I don't say this enough, but you're a great woman, and a great reporter.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 13
Take it slow, Robin. Take it slow.
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Ding. Class dismissed. Here you go, kid. You call whoever you want.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 15
Exactly. It's like, what's he gonna do next? I don't know, but I want to find out.
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# I'm a fool again #
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Whoa.
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Wait, were you here when I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 22
You guys take care of me.
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All right. Game face on. Carl, two more.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 24
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You set me on fire.
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No. After I hosed you down with the beverage gun, I brought you back here.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 29
Ooh, hold on, I'm gonna make some popcorn.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 30
You called me. Who's this?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 31
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Vomit-free since '05 doesn't sound good.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 33
Go home and get some sleep, Ted.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 34
This way, if you pass out in the gutter...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 35
Yeah, this'll go good.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 36
So, why don't you come over to my apartment right now,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 37
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You and Robin went down this road before. You got dinged up really bad.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 40
Good luck, buddy.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 41
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Wait. This is killing me. We have to find out who that girl is.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 43
I know. It's two years of my life I'm never getting back.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 44
you just gave me your number... and your name is Amy.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 45
What are you doing in the men's room?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 46
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Still, I've had a pretty serious week.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 48
Was it invented by a woman named Carrie Okey?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 49
Then I guess you're gonna have to call me.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 50
half of us, anyway-- and we only get one life.
Aired 13 years ago - Nov 21, 2005

Ted and Robin are surprised to run into Barney when they volunteer at a homeless shelter on Thanksgiving. Lily is on the brink of freaking out when she goes to Thanksgiving dinner at her future in-laws house.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 1
Where's my almost daughter-in-law?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 2
With a basketball?
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Oh, just the Lord's work.
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Barney, we need you out front. There's a logjam on the stuffing line.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 7
We're volunteers. We're unpaid help.
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Okay, well, I'd better get back out there. There's a lot of food to give out.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 9
Thank you!
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Lily, now that you're going to be a Mrs. Eriksen,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 11
"Six cups of mayonnaise"? That can't be right.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 12
so I nailed him in the shin with my skate and I totally dunked it!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 13
And I hope you like the taste of skate, dorko!
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Yesterday you said the best feeling on Earth was getting your toes sucked.
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At all.
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I was younger than you when I had Marcus.
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Now, if Lily was already uneasy about joining the Eriksen family,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 20
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Oh, um, I'm not his girlfriend.
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take out the really good stuff, and put it into this box.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 24
Look who came to say good night.
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Well, that's 'cause those Eriksen boys' boys can swim.
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Well, sure, in St. Cloud, but our kids aren't going to be growing up in St. Cloud.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 28
What? It is. And we grew up just fine.
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In your car, um, and then you'll take it...?
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But, Marshall, you love New York.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 31
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you're actually helping someone steal from the homeless?
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That's my private, personal business!
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I was unfairly punished because the wall belonged to the judge's church.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 35
Okay, fine, so a judge is making me do this.
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Amanda is stealing portabello mushrooms from homeless people.
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Those are good mushrooms.
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As in "check out the chick buying the knockup test, everybody.
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Oh, you know the Eriksens?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 40
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I have 40 hours left on my community service
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# Domo arrigato, Mr. Roboto #
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 43
Oh, dear. What for?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 44
I embarrassed myself in front of your family,
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Okay, I'll tell you, but before I do,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 46
I'm Funyuns.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 47
One... pregnancy test.
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And we'll find our own way to freak out the people our kids bring home.
Aired 13 years ago - Nov 14, 2005

As Lily becomes more of a permanent fixture in the apartment, Ted feels like he is being edged out of the mix by his engaged roomies. Petrified of being left alone and homeless, Ted tells Marshall that when he and Lily are married, he wants the apartment. The problem is that Marshall wants to keep the place, too, so they settle it like real "grown-ups" -- launching into a sword fight that leaves one man down for the count. MORE -LESS

Aired 13 years ago - Nov 07, 2005

When a matchmaker with a 100% success rate turns Ted away because he is not compatible with any of the available women in her database, he is still determined that he is going to find his match. After getting information from the matchmaker’s computer, Ted pays a visit to a very cute but taken dermatologist in an effort to prove the prediction wrong that there are no women out there for him. Meanwhile, Marshall and Lily are obsessed with ridding their apartment of a critter. MORE -LESS

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 1
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You have just taken your very first step.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 3
I really think I'm ready to stop being a me, and start being a we.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 4
when the tears come.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 5
Do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 6
Good career, and you didn't use an obvious alias on your application,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 7
Uh, no thanks.
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So if we take into account the most recent census data, that leaves us with 482,000.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 9
And then that leaves us with eight women.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 10
there's the door.
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We were just upstairs watching TV.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 12
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So did you get a good look at it?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 14
It's a cock-a-mouse.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 15
And it's pissed.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 16
Oh, just play it cool. Don't Ted out about it.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 17
Don't worry. I'm not going to Ted anything up. Or out.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 18
Did I?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 19
Phew, actually, I got through that okay.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 20
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And look, 5.4, 4.8, 5.6.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 22
No, 8.5 is an extremely good match-up quotient.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 23
There are new women turning 18 every day.
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Her guilty pleasure song is "Summer Breeze" by Seals and Crofts.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 27
Well, we know that there's no such thing as the cock-a-mouse.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 28
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She hates phonies. I totally hate phonies, too.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 30
And if she thinks she can do 11.45% better, who am I to deny her that?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 31
Right, I, uh, I have a kind of mole on my back.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 32
Blowing through the jasmine in my mind
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As long as I don't have to spend it with a bunch of phonies.
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That's very sweet, but I'm actually getting married on Saturday.
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So my 9.6-- beautiful, charming, intelligent, engaged.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 39
Raise your hand if earlier today you hit on an engaged woman.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 40
Dr. O'Brien.
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I'd want that person to come down to my dermatology office and tell me so.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 43
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They'll do lab experiments on it. That's so mean.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 45
I'm glad you came down. I would prefer to say this to you in person.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 46
Wait, then you're still getting married?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 47
I had to. You're my only match.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 48
Don't you think it's a little impulsive for you
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 49
Do you honestly believe, deep down, that there is no one else out there for you
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 50
When you fall in love with someone, an 8.5 equals a perfect ten.
Aired 13 years ago - Oct 24, 2005

Ted makes his yearly pilgrimage to the rooftop Halloween party in search of a girl dressed as a pumpkin who he met years ago. Meanwhile, Robin is dumped after driving her new boyfriend away with her independent ways.

Aired 13 years ago - Oct 17, 2005

Ted and Barney start checking out the club scene with their friend Robin whereas Lily and Marshall try to participate in some more "grown-up" activities as they draw slowly nearer to their wedding.

Aired 13 years ago - Oct 10, 2005

Ted's outlook on his continuing search for love is altered when he rediscovers a shirt that has not seen daylight in years. Meanwhile, Barney amuses himself by coaxing Robin into sacrificing her job by saying completely outlandish things on air live for a cash reward.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 1
- Who's Natalie? - Natalie.
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I just wasn't looking for a big commitment at the time.
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- You wanted to see me, Mr. Adams. - Yes, I did.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 4
Today, a delicious hot dog will cost you $2.50,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 5
Booger.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 6
Sure, Metro News One pays you jack,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 7
and so for two more hundie sticks,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 8
Found it! I found Natalie's number.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 9
- It's Ted Mosby. - Go to hell.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 10
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No, I didn't dump her right before her birthday.
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- Well, did she cry her eyes out? - I don't know.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 13
I'm just like super-busy right now, so...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 14
Not exactly the point I was trying to make, Marshall.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 15
We're not gonna have sex for at least a month, but you're awesome.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 16
Well, guess what? She cried.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 17
suddenly turned tragic when Ethel and Sadie Margolis,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 18
Joel Adams wants to see you in his office.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 19
What do you think that means?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 20
That's when Robin realized that no one, not even her boss, watched Metro News One.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 21
Natalie! Come on! I just want to say I'm sorry.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 22
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Maybe we should just call it a day.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 24
People think I can't keep a secret, but I totally can.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 25
Come on, just a cup of coffee.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 26
Maybe it was the caffeine, but you really brought your game up to a whole new level.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 27
The tea candles... the sock monkeys...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 28
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I don't get it, man. Natalie's awesome.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 30
Good word.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 31
It's the "Stairway to Heaven" of breakup lines.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 32
No, no, we're gonna get you out of this.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 33
Ted, what is the truth? Why do you want to break up with her?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 34
The chances of one person being another person's "the one" are, like, six billion-to-one.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 35
I just wrapped up a live newscast by honking my own boobs.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 36
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So Coach Dave Shula, screw you and your crappy steakhouse.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 38
It's the law of love, chunk.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 39
So tonight, can we just skip the cake?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 40
I can trust again.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 41
Henry, as New York's oldest hansom cab driver, you've seen quite a lot.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 42
And then, in '72, Mickey Mantle rode my cab for the fourth time.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 43
I never thought I'd have my story told.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 44
You know, Metro News One may not be number one in viewership,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 45
So, if you ever come to Alabama,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 46
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I'm not the one for you?!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 48
- Okay, so what's the problem?! - I... I... I can't explain it.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 49
Okay, what's going on is you broke my heart over my answering machine on my birthday,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 50
I'm just, like, so busy right now.
Aired 13 years ago - Oct 03, 2005

Ted agrees to let Barney spice up his love life and ends up on a crazy adventure of flying to Philadelphia, encountering the law and visiting the Liberty Bell.

Aired 13 years ago - Sep 26, 2005

In a desperate attempt for a second date, Ted invites Robin to a party he is throwing. However, she doesn't show up and he keeps throwing parties in the hopes she will finally arrive.

Aired 14 years ago - Sep 19, 2005

It's the year 2030 and an older Ted Mosby is telling the story to his son and daughter about how he met and will eventually marry their mother. This is where we meet for the first time Ted, Lily, Marshall, Barney and Robin.