Status
Ended
Network
CBS
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 7

Aired 7 years ago - May 14, 2012

When Lily goes into labor, Ted and Robin distract her by telling her stories while Marshall hurries back from Atlantic City.

Aired 7 years ago - Apr 30, 2012

Marshall panics when a baby shower indicates that the birth is close at hand and accidentally takes a road trip with Barney. Ted hallucinates seeing Robin while trying to get over her and decides to patch up their differences. Barney tries to talk Quinn out of being a stripper.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 22 (S07E22) - 1
I'm just, you know, trying to get Robin out of my head.
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What do you expect, to meet some cute travel agent
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beautiful, smart, funny, huge fan of prewar architecture,
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(phone rings)
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Me. She was me, Ted.
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factoring in a broad spectrum of variables,
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And when you do,
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(antique car horn blaring)
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sporadic sleep patterns of early parenthood.
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NARRATOR: Meanwhile, Barney was about to have
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 22 (S07E22) - 12
(both laugh) Gross.
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So, don't be that guy.
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Your name is Robin?
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NARRATOR: And just like that,
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This diaper smells. I don't want to know.
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works after the baby comes.
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the details of which are still hotly debated to this day.
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But everyone agrees this is how the argument ended:
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 22 (S07E22) - 20
Oh, Yobin.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 22 (S07E22) - 21
I'm sorry, that must have been tough.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 22 (S07E22) - 22
I gaze out into the world and all I see
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and poured tomato sauce on it.
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Well, what do you want me to do, Robin?
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"I guess I just wanted you all to myself,
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You do have a great view.
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It's three corporate-sounding words
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The things you're willing to do just for some money,
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but that's a cardboard cage,
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Does this mean I get to keep my job?
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and I found this Baby Boot Camp thing
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This is gonna be great.
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you're so polite.
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of the Boy Wonder, aka...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 22 (S07E22) - 35
turning upside down,
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I'll never tell that story again.
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Can I interest you in some sorbet?
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there's gonna be the one guy who's, like,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 22 (S07E22) - 39
I mean, the last thing we want
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 22 (S07E22) - 40
I'm gonna wear your pregnant belly like a hat.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 22 (S07E22) - 41
What the hell is going on?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 22 (S07E22) - 42
(snoring)
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Bro...
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turned out to be
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Hey, Ted, how's tricks?
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I mean, yeah, you've been a little crazy,
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I hope Lily's okay. Okay,
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I'm talking needing-subtitles- when-you-speak drunk.
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(chuckles)
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Why do you think I'm still here?
Aired 7 years ago - Apr 16, 2012

Although Ted is happy with living alone at his new apartment, Barney tries to convince him about going out every night. Lily has a naughty dream about someone other than Marshall. Robin finally starts her stint as a news anchor at World Wide News.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 21 (S07E21) - 1
Oh, he smurfed the smurf out of her.
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And then her face turned...
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Monoga-me-oh-my.
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Okay, you caught me vermilion-handed.
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at the new World Wide News headquarters.
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Didn't want it, did not approve it.
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you're a wee bit older than that hottie.
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And, kids, they did make it.
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In Canada, I was Robin Sparkles.
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we both moved out of the apartment, and now...
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Yeah, "pretty good" works.
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Guys, I was sitting at home last night,
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But we've also had some nights that weren't so legendary.
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Who's ready for the longest, craziest adventure yet?!
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when you're all alone and I'm President,
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Is The Night We Brought a Horse into the Bar!
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Complete with a fancy limo ride.
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Star of the show.
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Are you afraid of helicopters?
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from the Natural History Museum!
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I have a Sanford and Son on my DVR
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You're locked out, dummy!
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Okay, yes, I did,
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that you subconsciously want to happen.
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to get out and let you eat all by yourself.
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...which means it'll be full of drama-- dary.
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that's why I'm in the lead.
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And ten points to you for pointing that out.
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and that I don't feel the need to keep score.
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It's done. It's done.
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Robin, I've been doing this a while,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 21 (S07E21) - 36
desperate need of a female friend.
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Marshall's probably crying right now.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 21 (S07E21) - 38
She's pregnant.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 21 (S07E21) - 39
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The fact that I don't care?
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I'm starting to think this never happened.
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it would be worth 500 points.
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took a few laps around this very bar,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 21 (S07E21) - 44
while wearing a dress, you and I will never be even.
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Eye in the Sky traffic chopper is out of control over Manhattan
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 21 (S07E21) - 46
told her what to do, and against all odds,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 21 (S07E21) - 47
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meet the mayor,
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Yes, I know you're dating a stripper.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 21 (S07E21) - 50
Think about it.
Aired 7 years ago - Apr 09, 2012

Ted, Marshall and Barney embark on another "trilogy time", where they get together every three years to watch the "Star Wars" trilogy and envision what their lives will be like in another three years. Meanwhile Barney and Quinn move in together.

Aired 7 years ago - Mar 19, 2012

The gang tries to break up Barney and Quinn after learning they plan on moving in together, leaving Robin and Ted to fight over who deserves to sublet her apartment.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 1
Baby, you're like 20 slutty chicks all rolled into one.
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Do we trust this girl?
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She drinks a lot.
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if two people hadn't gone off topic.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 5
and I gave the apartment to Marshall and Lily,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 6
And Robin was staying with her coworker, Patrice.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 7
Hey, I was just going along with
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 8
Marshall, stop.
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falls out, lands on my back,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 10
Barney's taking her to Hawaii.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 11
You know what Lily, enough.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 12
Yup.
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and I thought, "Man, Quinn is in such great shape,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 15
with a bottle of wine and her credit scores.
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You guys should be ashamed.
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He was all, "Ew, she's your best friend."
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to second base in tenth grade with Jenna Cristalli.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 19
You and Quinn are moving really fast, and we don't trust her.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 20
How dare you?!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 21
Uh-huh.
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Paranoid much?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 23
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What expensive trip to Hawaii?
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I'm not even gonna make a joke about "filling her in."
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 27
Well, see, your name is Quinn, and so...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 28
but you clearly are.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 29
You prove that you're just some heartless stripper
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 30
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After everything that happened between us,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 32
I lost my best friend, then I lost my apartment.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 33
How could you?
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Damn it, th-this sucks for me, too.
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Barney still isn't answering.
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You had no right to do that.
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"...promise never to interfere with his personal life again..."
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the two ladies will kiss. Barney...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 39
Let's just... This is silly.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 40
Hot stuff, fellas.
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Much more stressful than that.
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Hells to the yes.
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No, save it for dessert, idiot.
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they'll try to talk me into dumping you.
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I'm not waiting for it anymore. Mmm...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 46
You have anything to say about that?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 47
- Me, too. - Yeah.
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When I filled in for Sandy, it turns out
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 49
Wow. Thanks.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 19 (S07E19) - 50
Aired 7 years ago - Feb 27, 2012

Barney continues his pursuit of Quinn. Ted has to deal with Robin's old room, while Robin gets a taste of suburban life from Marshall and Lily.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 18 (S07E18) - 1
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I filled it with a new hobby.
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while having an imaginary conversation with your ex.
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I mean, you've dated convicted felons, arms dealers...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 18 (S07E18) - 5
you happened to walk into the club where she works?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 18 (S07E18) - 6
is throwing us in each other's path for some reason?
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No, listen,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 18 (S07E18) - 8
I heard she's over at The Melon Patch now.
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I guess there's no reason why not.
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how each hour here feels like it may never end.
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to calm down drug addicts and the criminally insane.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 18 (S07E18) - 12
In their lairs, they often don a primitive shroud
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Guys, um, I don't want to overstay my welcome,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 18 (S07E18) - 14
That hit one of the picketers who was on strike.
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Oh! Oh!
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LILY: Good night!
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You hear these things that come out of your mouth, right?
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Song's over, I got to go.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 18 (S07E18) - 19
And funny...
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(music stops) (gasps) Oh.
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charming and funny
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aaaaaa...
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This one time only, I'm going to break my rule.
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If it's not a date, why'd she say, every fifth day was free?
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Morning, sweetie.
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They were a bit fancy for East Meadow.
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And I begin to fear...
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You are not on a date.
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somewhere besides here, wouldn't you?
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I will fake a stomach ache during dinner.
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was canceled.
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Let's go out tomorrow night!
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You laid exactly the same line on that guy that you did on me!
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No! You're playing me again!
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Did I deserve this? Absolutely.
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But I have been trying,
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Look, I'm sorry we made you feel a little suffocated,
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Oh, I think North Bellmore can take state.
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No, no, we live here now.
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NARRATOR: The next morning, Barney learned that even in
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 18 (S07E18) - 43
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and you didn't even recognize me the night we went out.
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You're the first woman who's wrong not to.
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1,700 more of these and we're even.
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Pottery. Now you're making pottery.
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A room devoted to reminding me that I'm still alone?
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Aired 7 years ago - Feb 20, 2012

When Robin breaks up with Kevin, Ted confesses his feelings to her. Meanwhile, Barney is on a mission to find something private of Marshall and Lily’s.

Aired 7 years ago - Feb 13, 2012

Lily and Marshall invite Robin and Kevin on a Valentine's Day trip to Vermont. Kevin and Robin use the trip to talk about taking their relationship to the next level. Meanwhile, Barney realizes he has finally met his match.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 16 (S07E16) - 1
Relationships are a give and take,
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How do we not keep score,you ask?
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she's bought us over the years.
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But I'd never hold that over Marshall, because if I did,he'd owe me big-time.
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just***
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That night,Barney and I found ourselves in a strange,new universe called...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 16 (S07E16) - 7
It's-it's The Little Engine with Wood,The Whore-ient Express.
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And don't say,"The Siamese Twins"" We're not stretching out another one of my jackets.
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If we're getting through five more meals and a sleigh ride with those guys,
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I'm-I'm not saying no. I'm-I'm not saying anything.
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- I said that one yesterday. - I don't think you did.
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Oh,you have no idea.
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I pay for the meal,you handle my deal. That's just good manners.
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No,they did not forget the potato salad in your takeout order!
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Last week,I went out with a girl whose favorite band was Glee.
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Ted,tonight is gonna be epic-- wait for it-- dary!
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Why don't we get an appetizer? How about the... onion rings?
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So... where do you live?
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from everyone for the last couple of months.
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No,you know,I've had some... time to deal with this by myself,and...
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You know what,Robin? If it's meant to be,then it won't matter.
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I actually have no idea where you went to college.
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Damn it,Ted!
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I know that this is a lot to process,so...
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- What are you doing? - The top speed of the Drunk Train is 73 miles per hour,
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My God...
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get***
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No,Kevin,it's not just that I can't have kids,I don't want kids.
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Oh,you take such good care of me.
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Oh,thanks,sweetie.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 16 (S07E16) - 39
I hope it's a soupy deuce,sucka.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 16 (S07E16) - 40
Oh,oh,oh,big man with a briefcase!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 16 (S07E16) - 41
You crossed out all the stops and wrote "Vaginaville.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 16 (S07E16) - 42
You know,I went out tonight looking for a cheap,meaningless fling.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 16 (S07E16) - 43
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 16 (S07E16) - 44
Yeah,right. Get up. You're on my bra.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 16 (S07E16) - 45
Oh,right. That was later in my apartment after we got nasty. My bad.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 16 (S07E16) - 46
lovely innocent flowers.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 16 (S07E16) - 47
Because you're wasting your time here. We both are.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 16 (S07E16) - 48
Assuming you don't turn into a big fat fattie.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 16 (S07E16) - 49
That is something huge you would be giving up for me.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 16 (S07E16) - 50
So... I need you to be sure,okay?
Aired 7 years ago - Feb 06, 2012

Lily asks for her father's help when she and Marshall decide to throw a housewarming party. Marshall's boss gets under Ted's skin and the two nearly come to blows, and Barney puts the moves on a wacky divorcée.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 1
Sheez, Marshall, you are as busy as a...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 2
I'll, uh, I'll bring out the Gouda,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 3
Ted, baby Gouda's coming out. Look alive.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 4
Are... you... a... vegan?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 5
You could have had anything on that table!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 6
Liar!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 7
It's fine. Everything's fine.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 8
I will bite and scratch you like a wolverine.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 9
Did you see that we had hummus and veggies?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 10
For God's sake, Lily, you're pregnant.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 11
This is a bad idea. This is a bad idea!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 12
If I could kiss it, I would.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 13
Like... ships and lake monsters.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 14
It's not ruined. Ten second rule.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 15
Okay, maybe it's not a total disaster.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 16
So that's what happened in the living room.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 17
It's my kitten's Bat Mitzvah next week.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 18
That's why it's so refreshing to meet someone honest like you,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 19
we can go back to your place.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 20
I'm just looking for the vegan spring rolls.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 21
Some jerk was just here.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 22
Lily, these spring rolls... ooh-ee!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 23
and you know that I can't stand up to screaming.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 24
There was even talk of an inbound Gouda!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 25
mean son of a bitch on me.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 26
that I don't get mad about,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 27
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I'm looking for hummus and veggies.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 29
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What is that smell?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 31
This is parenthood, isn't it?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 32
God.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 33
and she took it all weird.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 34
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Now I'm gonna tell you what happened in the kitchen.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 36
It was probably gonna be her last kugel.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 37
never-ripped- an-old-lady's-wig-off hands,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 38
Marshall told me. He also said that
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 39
Disagree.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 40
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Do you know that, uh, most bees are left-handed?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 42
Ted ate all of the spring rolls.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 43
don't sleep with her.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 44
Hey, ten second rule, right?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 45
You know what else you can find on the Internet?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 46
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 47
Mr. Cootes, I am not going back to work tonight.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 48
it was all fun and games.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 49
Mr. Cootes, you're working yourself to death.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 15 (S07E15) - 50
And I don't know if I can handle a life
Aired 7 years ago - Jan 16, 2012

Lily and Marshall officially move to the suburbs and realize that Lily's bossy father refuses to move out of their house. Meanwhile, the gang adjusts to them moving by going to a strip club.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 1
Look at what's become of our booth.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 2
I hate to agree with Barney's near-paralyzing abandonment issues,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 3
Remember that amazing idea I had that one time?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 4
Well... I'm going to miss them anywhere.
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adventurous... and open-minded.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 6
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I've got no cell reception. I wanted to call Ted. This feels weird.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 8
just that this was my room when I growing up,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 9
and pushy and strangely obsessed with your adolescent sex life.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 10
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I'm always ready to rock.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 12
Party like a rock star! Party like a rock star...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 13
Now,put this fiver in your mouth so...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 14
Gentlemen,say hello to J-J-J-Jasmine!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 15
Lily had a doppelganger who was a Russian stripper.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 16
Hey,Better Lily,please dance for my friend.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 17
Wait-- Better Lily is dating this behemoth?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 18
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you're not allowed to show your vagina.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 20
By the way,did you see how she opened that bottle?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 21
You know what? I bet the fuse box is in the basement.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 22
Where do I look? I mean,I can't look at her chest.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 23
Quick,do something cool.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 24
From the sound of the wind chimes,I hear you've made it to the first floor.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 25
to the Fuse Box in the Basement,Marshall.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 26
- Did I get it? - Yeah,you got it.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 27
We go to underground poker game in mostly-abandoned insane asylum.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 28
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Marshall,I just remembered I saw a box of matches in the drawer by the trash can.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 30
Oh,right,you can't see me.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 31
I'll be down at that fuse box in no time,and when I get there,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 32
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You know Butterfly-knife.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 35
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Don't let me be in charge of the gang anymore.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 37
We got to hit that party!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 38
And I'm pretty sure I have a drumstick...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 39
Get these lights back on.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 40
No,Marshall... you don't know anything about your house.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 41
That's pretty steep for a cover charge.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 42
Okay,now,Marshall,take three steps forward,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 43
Okay,now past the washer and dryer is the hardest part.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 44
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Damn it,Ted.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 49
I mean,it'll go from seeing them a couple times a week,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 14 (S07E14) - 50
No,I won't let that happen. Especially that last part.
Aired 7 years ago - Jan 02, 2012

After celebrating New Year's Eve, Marshall visits his father's graveside to carry on their tradition of tailgating. Meanwhile, Barney and Ted open a bar called "Puzzles," and Robin is forced to fill in for an inebriated news anchor.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 1
No. I would rather be warm and cozy here in denial-- my apartment.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 2
Hello? Sandy?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 3
Are you kidding me? Marcus? What the heck are you doing here?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 4
Um,I'm trying to have a poignant moment with our departed father,turd face.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 5
- Dibs on Dad. - Dibs on Dad times infinity.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 6
Anyway,Dad,since it's just the two of us...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 7
June 17th,1983. Tempe,Arizona.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 8
Or an enigma of the mystical!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 9
You really want to read our kid bedtime stories about monsters?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 10
I mean,if there aren't yetis or leprechauns,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 11
- God? - Werewolves.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 12
I need you back,Tina. I love you.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 13
Okay? It's New Year's Eve. People get rowdy and break stuff.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 14
You'd all be better off coming upstairs to my place for a beer.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 15
People will be like,"Why is it called Puzzles?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 16
- We're opening Puzzles tonight. - Of course we're opening Puzzles tonight!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 17
Taxi,take me to Tina's house. 50 West 67th.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 18
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A hunter spots a hairy form in the fore. Bigfoot.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 20
- Gorilla suit. - Enigma!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 21
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I've always envisioned Puzzles as a literary salon,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 23
I'm kind of a neat freak that way.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 24
You listen to people's problems,pretend to care,but you can drink openly,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 25
* Puzzles is a place where people go *
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 26
* A place to bang chicks in Ted's room *
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 27
We got to work out some harmonies.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 28
It's just that I used to goto Vikes's with my aunt;
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 29
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And we're back... together!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 31
finishing in the hallway was the nail in the coffin.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 32
Anyway,this VIP room has a maximum occupancy of two people including me,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 33
it's a different book,begging the question:
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 34
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* On sunny days or stormy weather *
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 36
What-what do,what do,what do we do?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 37
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 38
and had a habit of lying to get attention.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 39
So here's the deal:
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 40
Anyway,Dad,where was I?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 41
It's because they' wet,Doug. Why are they all wet?!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 42
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Yes,you can. It's what you really want and you deserve it.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 44
I just...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 45
"A man misses his daughter's high school graduation.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 46
says,'Great. Thanks,' and hangs up on her.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 47
unless I see it with my own eyes.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 48
How dare you?!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 49
and until 10 minutes ago had no idea I would be on national television.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 13 (S07E13) - 50
That night became a turning point in Robin's career.
Aired 7 years ago - Dec 05, 2011

Robin receives bad news and decides to hide it from the gang. Marshall hangs Christmas decorations in his house in the suburbs with some help from his neighbor.

Aired 7 years ago - Nov 21, 2011

Ted and Barney discuss making a life-changing decision together, and Robin tries to discourage Marshall and Lily from moving to Long Island.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 1
Word. Guys understand each other.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 2
No, this is only in a scenario
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 3
Nope. Stuck with girls.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 4
about the whole wife and kids thing.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 5
The only partnership in my life
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 6
Oh! Sh...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 7
we die.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 8
No, I'm done with Pregnancy Brain.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 9
We are in no state of mind to make this kind of decision.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 10
for the last time, this place is enormous...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 11
And a broken home?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 12
Oh, no, there's the line. That's the line.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 13
at that exact moment, but for the purposes of this story...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 14
Oh. Too bad you're not selling this place.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 15
And just like that, Lily and Marshall
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 16
No, listen. You and I are drunk.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 17
You're right.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 18
Barney and I were going through a tough time.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 19
and the number of a man who can get me a kidney.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 20
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raising this child in a good environment.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 22
We stay in the city during the week, then on the weekend,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 23
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 24
thinking about leaving it all behind,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 25
It's been right there all along.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 26
And did Marshall become a Ghostbuster?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 27
And now we're fighting. You know what?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 28
and clothes and a nice house,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 29
We get a nanny.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 30
my two hot nannies, our pet cobra...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 31
I can't adopt a baby with you, Barney.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 32
Which brings us to Thanksgiving.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 33
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I get it.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 35
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Daddy's home.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 37
Did Guy the guy guy get you a baby guy?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 38
Yeah. Na-na-na.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 39
my friend and I, both straight,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 40
This is awesome.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 41
What the hell is that?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 42
I'm finding it best to just sort of go with it.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 43
You don't... Wow.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 44
So, there was talk of a cheese plate?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 45
If you don't mind me asking...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 46
Is this about more than us moving?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 47
Okay, Ted, I'm not gonna ask you where Barney got this baby.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 48
Is it, though?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 49
Why shouldn't we try this?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 50
Then he probably also did not tell you
Aired 7 years ago - Nov 14, 2011

Barney and Robin find themselves in an uncomfortable situation when they hide a secret from their significant others. Meanwhile, Marshall, Lily and Ted attend a concert.

Aired 7 years ago - Nov 07, 2011

While the gang reminisces about Hurricane Irene, Barney tries to cut a deal with Marshall and Lily to get out of wearing the Ducky Tie.

Aired 7 years ago - Oct 31, 2011

Ted finally meets his mystery girl in the Slutty Pumpkin costume. Meanwhile, Barney learns he is part Canadian, and Lily has pregnancy brain.

Aired 7 years ago - Oct 24, 2011

The gang begins to realize their romantic partner reminds them of one of their parents. Meanwhile, Barney and Nora's planned romantic evening is ruined by a string of bad events.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 1
- But here's the clincher... - Guess what,my sweet boy.
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Well,psychologically speaking,I'm gonna go throw up now.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 5
I mean,you're-you're even sexier now that you're rounding out.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 6
Are you saying,"No erky-erky until this baby pops out"?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 7
Oh,yeah,yeah,Kevin's great.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 8
Ted... be honest.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 9
Well,I've been waiting two months for that bowl of ice cream.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 10
Now,kids,for most guys,this would have meant the end of the date.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 11
Oh,yeah. He can also give you tattoos,do your taxes and alter a suit.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 12
Come on,Nora,your tooth can't be that bad. Let me see.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 13
It's funny.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 14
Hey,um,should've mentioned this before,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 15
Ted's nuts.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 16
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"even though everybody tells me I've walked into a bear trap" things,is it?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 18
So,I was trying to think of how to best express how sexy you are to me.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 19
I would've guessed Monopo-Lily.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 20
And then she thought of the only other man she knew
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 21
Oh,wait. I forgot to tell you what happens if I land on "community chest."
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 22
pour you some champagne,we can forget all about this.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 23
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- Well,have you seen Die Hard? - Um,yes.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 26
Oh,thanks,baby.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 27
Good,because I got you a brand - new...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 28
Hey,Ted,ever figure out who you're taking to that concert?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 29
I'm uncomfortable with how close you two are as roommates,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 30
I can't wait till this baby comes out so we can get started on another one.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 31
she buys her clothes at the drugstore,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 32
But then Marshall really started thinking about Kevin's theory.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 33
I am gonna rock... your...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 34
So... guess the world's kind of a better place without...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 35
No sense in letting things get us down.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 36
* These are a few of my favorite things *
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 37
* And then I don't feel *
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 38
what a vivacious woman I am.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 39
and get right down to me making love to you.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 40
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What?! No. Ted? He's a nice guy. A really,really nice guy.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 42
Then he crashes our movie.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 43
Ted,am I the first person you asked?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 44
Stuart...! Claudia...!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 45
Mom...! Please? I'll fly you out.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 46
Look,I'm trying to explain to you guys that I'm...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 47
oh***
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 48
Ted...!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 7 (S07E07) - 49
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Hey. How'd it go with Nora?
Aired 7 years ago - Oct 17, 2011

When Ted goes on a date without researching the girl on the Internet, the gang interferes, showing Kevin that they are too into each other's business. Meanwhile, Lily and Marshall come to terms with finding out the sex of their baby.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 1
By the way,do you guys want to come over tomorrow night for sangria and tapas?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 2
No,guys,it's me. Janet McIntyre.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 3
Every time I go on a first date,they snap right into research mode.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 4
Oh,my God!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 5
Unless you guys found something.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 6
Anyway,she's still married to a death row inmate convicted...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 7
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here's the mini fridge meeting her parents...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 9
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Uh,Janet. I have a theory.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 11
they didn't have the Internet-- they just went out on a blind date and fell in love.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 12
And she was on board with the whole "no Internet" thing?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 13
For the last time,I don't want to know anything about her before the date.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 14
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Or bring the laptops. Either way.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 16
Kevin,will you please tell Barney
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 17
oh,I don't know,this!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 18
This royal ensemble may leave you speechless,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 19
in this hermaphroditic burlap sack.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 20
Marshall,will you... will you hold these for a second?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 21
They're six minutes into the date.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 22
by analyzing her wonderful friends.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 23
See,if we'd researched each other,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 24
...how was the traffic getting here?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 25
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I gots to know!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 27
Ted's texting me from the bathroom.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 28
Symbols to describe what your bowel movement looks like?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 29
I got lonely and...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 30
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So,while this font is often mistaken for Helvetica,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 32
I got to be honest,Janet. First of all...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 33
Um,you basically called my friends mentally ill.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 34
I don't know-- Annie Hall?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 35
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If you find out my deep,dark secret,I'll have to kill you.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 37
No. We're with Ted on this.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 38
Look,if you guys don't want to know,how about this?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 39
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- We're not gonna cave. - Yes,we are!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 41
Where is the rest of the card?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 42
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maybe Janet really does have a deep,dark secret.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 44
You don't buy beer,you rent it. Am I right?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 45
Listen,there's something you should know.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 46
Sweet... mother... of God.
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Ted,are you okay? You look freaked out.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 48
princeton***
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 49
Okay,he looked at Janet McIntyre's Internet extravaganza.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 6 (S07E06) - 50
Should I just stop,or...?
Aired 7 years ago - Oct 10, 2011

Marshall decides to step in after seeing his boss's approach to settling with a million dollar company. Ted's class trip isn't what he envisioned.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 1
those corporate Earth rapists by their...
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employees...
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Marshall, bend down so I can put my arm around you.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 4
You know, cute and cuddly around the village,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 5
The only good thing about Ewoks in that movie?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 6
Not liking Ewoks
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 7
they'd all say, "Your therapist."
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 8
Are we running out of boring people?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 9
but the path to not being hungover anymore.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 10
so we'll just start.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 11
I think just maybe, we got some future architects in the house.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 12
It's okay, I'm Ted Mosby, the architect of this building.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 13
was getting the settlement offer
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So it's time to win one for Mother Earth.
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Hey, Weird Beard, lights!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 18
Ted, these are 18-year-olds!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 19
a race of creatures indigenous to the second moon of Endor.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 20
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at least ten years old when Jedi came out,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 22
They reminded you of your teddies.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 23
must in fact be no younger than... 37.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 24
We got our settlement offer today:
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 25
Meanwhile, the worst field trip of all time was still trucking.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 26
Well, I was about to get my swerve on.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 27
Ehhhh... it's creepy.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 28
So where are we going now?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 29
I mean, just look at the sample:
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 30
It's Edward James Olmos.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 31
who says break up with her?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 32
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That's not something we can move past.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 34
I don't care how good it is,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 35
That settlement today was a flaming pile of...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 36
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It's too late to save the planet.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 38
Now, of course, you can't go around
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 39
before the unfiltered rays of the sun fry us like chalupas,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 40
You think that's bad?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 41
Professor Mosby, is the field trip over?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 42
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So...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 44
Robin, what are you doing here?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 45
then that is two hours of vulnerability you owe me.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 46
- Hey. - Listen, I've been thinking
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 47
Second of all, after our talk...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 48
Boy or girl?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 49
No. Because if I am gonna work here,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 5 (S07E05) - 50
Barney.
Aired 7 years ago - Oct 03, 2011

After Robin assaults a girl who is out to ruin Barney's relationship, she is forced to begin court-mandated therapy sessions. Meanwhile, Ted gets too involved in Lily's pregnancy.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 1
Cheetos...
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(scoffs) No.
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Two things: 1) Somebody stole
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 4
Thanks for the support, Robin. This is huge for me.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 5
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Ted, what are you doing here?!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 7
Guys, for the health of our baby,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 8
(sighs)
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 9
We're right up there with Batman and Robin and Alfred.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 10
You know, not too long ago,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 11
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I can't believe you're still running plays on dumb blondes!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 13
Oh, hi. I'm Dr. Barney Stinson.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 14
can give you a free breast-reduction consultation.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 15
Okay, survivors, today's reward challenge
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 16
offering free breast-reduction consultations,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 17
I can't believe you go
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 18
"Patient selflessly tried to help a friend in need."
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 19
and then... wow, Harvard again.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 20
Never mind.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 21
Okay, first of all, I'm sure Ted's fine.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 22
Don't tell me you're doubting Dr. Sonya!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 23
(phone rings)
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 24
a wide-eyed farm girl would get off the bus
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 25
My love to Marge and the kids!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 26
it's like Maya Angelou keeps telling Oprah,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 27
as a matter of fact, I have an extremely attractive
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 28
Ted, I want you back on Team Baby. What?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 29
and I vote that we go to the birthing class.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 30
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Disconnect the Cold Call 5000.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 32
but I saw you on the subway, and I knew we were meant to be.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 33
I can't believe Lily's not coming!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 34
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You're a real bro.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 36
How about I put on a smokin' hot dress,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 37
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KEVIN: Let me guess,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 39
So, I suppose now you want me to talk about how it felt
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 40
Excuse me, do you know where I can find Barney Stinson?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 41
BARNEY: Hi, I know this is crazy,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 42
or be a bigger person, and help my friend.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 43
(moaning ecstatically)
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 44
Now, Papas,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 45
I honor your body's wisdom.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 46
But even if I meet the girl of my dreams right this second,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 47
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(with Russian accent): You have just a little bit.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 49
My hero.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 4 (S07E04) - 50
and pull it out of your mouth!
Aired 7 years ago - Sep 26, 2011

Barney faces having to wear Marshall's ducky tie if he loses a bet with him. Meanwhile, Ted hopes to apologize to an ex for cheating on her.

Aired 8 years ago - Sep 19, 2011

Marshall gets a great job offer that he fears may be scuttled by a social media background check. Ted needs a date for the Architects Ball.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 1
Marshall, this is Garrison Cootes.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 2
I love the work you guys do. That's a croc...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 3
you're good to go, man.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 4
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 5
My wha...? Oh, it's nothing.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 6
What kind of person needs to lie like that.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 7
I just had two back-to-back dates.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 8
Speaks four languages, is a concert pianist.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 9
before it gets serious?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 10
Ever since Mr. Cootes mentioned the background check,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 11
Oh, ho-ho!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 12
Well, that could be anybody.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 13
I was pledging his frat,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 14
Oh, no, you guys see why this sucks, right?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 15
by the end of the night.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 16
Well, see, I did not know that.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 17
Have I ever...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 18
I guess if we're splitting hairs,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 19
But, Nora, after that, I had a run that you would not believe.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 20
Beercules!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 21
of malt liquor to your hands.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 22
One, you can give me $4 million,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 23
Who are you playing with, anyway?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 24
Aren't you relieved I'm alive?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 25
Uh... Oh, I once pulled The Soul Man.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 26
I got this.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 27
Um, maybe I haven't this is...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 28
Just take a friend.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 29
I need a color chart.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 30
Beercules, what happened?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 31
I'm gonna be a dad.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 32
And I select the beautiful game,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 33
Oh, wait, sorry-- I just thought of another space one.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 34
Barney, you're funny, handsome
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 35
Look, Nora, all those lies-- that's the old me.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 36
until I get a second date with you.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 37
Okay, so red indicates level of attractiveness,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 38
Did not reach for the check...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 39
Don't feel guilty about that.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 40
Aw, honey.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 41
And if my potential future employer, Garrison Cootes,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 42
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You know why?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 44
No idea. What's everyone getting?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 45
Who am I kidding? I'm not ready to be a dad.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 46
I got an icicle on my deal!"
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 47
Oh, I told Nora I wouldn't leave until she gave me a second date,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 48
The way Barney feels about Nora--
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 49
Although, for the record--
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 2 (S07E02) - 50
But, again, I'm getting ahead of myself.
Aired 8 years ago - Sep 19, 2011

While Barney prepares for his wedding to a mystery bride, he and Ted reminisce about Punchy’s wedding, including when Marshall and Lily announced they are having a baby. Meanwhile, Robin considers telling Barney she has feelings for him.