S9 E14
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Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
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Season 9  "Bloody Mary"  9x14

Aired 18 years ago - Dec 07, 2005

Stan is embarrassed in front of his friends when his dad gets pulled over for drunk driving. In a neighboring town, a bleeding statue of Mary is discovered and the faithful are flocking to the site hoping to be healed. Stan’s dad is sure the bleeding Virgin can cure him of his disease.

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Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 1
Wull come on, that's impossible!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 2
What? What did I do?! What did I do?!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 3
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 4
Okay children, let's take our seats.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 5
Oh Jesus.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 6
Uh, you you shouldn't drink, because it leads tuuuh bad things.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 7
Well, I think we've all learned an important lesson, haven't we, class?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 8
"Is that who I want to be in thirty years?"
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 9
As most of you know I once lost my job and my family because of my drinking.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 10
I've been using the 12-step program for about two months now and
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 11
Um, my name's Randy and... I just, really like beer.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 12
Because I got a DUI and so I'm required to attend AA meetings for two weeks.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 13
Only then can you move on to the other 12 steps, like...
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 14
You just have to admit that there is some kind of god which has power over you
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 15
You have a disease.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 16
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 17
What? Did you go to your AA meeting?!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 18
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 19
Aw Goddamnit!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 20
Dad, you just need to not drink so much. It's very simple.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 21
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 22
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 23
The statue of the Virgin Mary has started to bleed. Out its ass.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 24
and we wanted to see it for ourselves and come and pray.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 25
hoping to witness the miracle and even cure their diseases.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 26
I've been sober now for five years and I've learned that drinking ice tea
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 27
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 28
And, y-you can't just go around saying stuff like that to people like my dad.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 29
But thanks to you people, my dad now thinks he has a disease that he can't cure himself.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 30
As the statue of the Virgin Mary continues to miraculously cry blood...
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 31
The blood always comes from the same area. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 32
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 33
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 34
What?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 35
I'm eight!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 36
Where. I can't see.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 37
I feel like this is my only hope.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 38
Heeey heh, Josh Garrett. How yo doin'?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 39
I just, my dad was-
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 40
This is taking too long! I'm gonna run out of beer! Stan!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 41
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 42
I'm an alcoholic and I'm powerless over it.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 43
She's... beautiful.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 44
I'm... not... going... to drink this.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 45
Good morning, family. The Lord has truly blessed us with another beautiful day.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 46
At Whistlin' Willy's Pizza, so you can come with me.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 47
Boy this lemonade is great! Who knew how fun being sober could be?!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 48
But I put my faith in a higher power and I haven't had a drink for five days now!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 49
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 50

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 2
What? What did I do?! What did I do?!
#2
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 3 #3 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 4
Okay children, let's take our seats.
#4
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 5
Oh Jesus.
#5
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 6
Uh, you you shouldn't drink, because it leads tuuuh bad things.
#6
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 7
Well, I think we've all learned an important lesson, haven't we, class?
#7
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 8
"Is that who I want to be in thirty years?"
#8
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 9
As most of you know I once lost my job and my family because of my drinking.
#9
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 10
I've been using the 12-step program for about two months now and
#10
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 11
Um, my name's Randy and... I just, really like beer.
#11
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 12
Because I got a DUI and so I'm required to attend AA meetings for two weeks.
#12
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 13
Only then can you move on to the other 12 steps, like...
#13
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 14
You just have to admit that there is some kind of god which has power over you
#14
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 15
You have a disease.
#15
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 16 #16 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 17
What? Did you go to your AA meeting?!
#17
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 18 #18 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 19
Aw Goddamnit!
#19
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 20
Dad, you just need to not drink so much. It's very simple.
#20
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 21 #21 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 22 #22 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 23
The statue of the Virgin Mary has started to bleed. Out its ass.
#23
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 24
and we wanted to see it for ourselves and come and pray.
#24
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 25
hoping to witness the miracle and even cure their diseases.
#25
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 26
I've been sober now for five years and I've learned that drinking ice tea
#26
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 27 #27 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 28
And, y-you can't just go around saying stuff like that to people like my dad.
#28
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 29
But thanks to you people, my dad now thinks he has a disease that he can't cure himself.
#29
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 30
As the statue of the Virgin Mary continues to miraculously cry blood...
#30
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 31
The blood always comes from the same area. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot.
#31
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 32 #32 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 33 #33 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 34
What?
#34
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 35
I'm eight!
#35
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 36
Where. I can't see.
#36
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 37
I feel like this is my only hope.
#37
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 38
Heeey heh, Josh Garrett. How yo doin'?
#38
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 39
I just, my dad was-
#39
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 40
This is taking too long! I'm gonna run out of beer! Stan!
#40
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 41 #41 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 42
I'm an alcoholic and I'm powerless over it.
#42
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 43
She's... beautiful.
#43
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 44
I'm... not... going... to drink this.
#44
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 45
Good morning, family. The Lord has truly blessed us with another beautiful day.
#45
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 46
At Whistlin' Willy's Pizza, so you can come with me.
#46
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 47
Boy this lemonade is great! Who knew how fun being sober could be?!
#47
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 48
But I put my faith in a higher power and I haven't had a drink for five days now!
#48
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 49 #49 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 50 #50