Status
Continuing
Next episode
TBA
Airs
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 9

Aired 19 years ago - Dec 07, 2005

Stan is embarrassed in front of his friends when his dad gets pulled over for drunk driving. In a neighboring town, a bleeding statue of Mary is discovered and the faithful are flocking to the site hoping to be healed. Stan’s dad is sure the bleeding Virgin can cure him of his disease.

Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 1
Wull come on, that's impossible!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 2
What? What did I do?! What did I do?!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 3
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 4
Okay children, let's take our seats.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 5
Oh Jesus.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 6
Uh, you you shouldn't drink, because it leads tuuuh bad things.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 7
Well, I think we've all learned an important lesson, haven't we, class?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 8
"Is that who I want to be in thirty years?"
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 9
As most of you know I once lost my job and my family because of my drinking.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 10
I've been using the 12-step program for about two months now and
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 11
Um, my name's Randy and... I just, really like beer.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 12
Because I got a DUI and so I'm required to attend AA meetings for two weeks.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 13
Only then can you move on to the other 12 steps, like...
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 14
You just have to admit that there is some kind of god which has power over you
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 15
You have a disease.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 16
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 17
What? Did you go to your AA meeting?!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 18
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 19
Aw Goddamnit!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 20
Dad, you just need to not drink so much. It's very simple.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 21
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 22
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 23
The statue of the Virgin Mary has started to bleed. Out its ass.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 24
and we wanted to see it for ourselves and come and pray.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 25
hoping to witness the miracle and even cure their diseases.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 26
I've been sober now for five years and I've learned that drinking ice tea
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 27
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 28
And, y-you can't just go around saying stuff like that to people like my dad.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 29
But thanks to you people, my dad now thinks he has a disease that he can't cure himself.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 30
As the statue of the Virgin Mary continues to miraculously cry blood...
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 31
The blood always comes from the same area. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 32
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 33
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 34
What?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 35
I'm eight!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 36
Where. I can't see.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 37
I feel like this is my only hope.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 38
Heeey heh, Josh Garrett. How yo doin'?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 39
I just, my dad was-
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 40
This is taking too long! I'm gonna run out of beer! Stan!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 41
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 42
I'm an alcoholic and I'm powerless over it.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 43
She's... beautiful.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 44
I'm... not... going... to drink this.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 45
Good morning, family. The Lord has truly blessed us with another beautiful day.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 46
At Whistlin' Willy's Pizza, so you can come with me.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 47
Boy this lemonade is great! Who knew how fun being sober could be?!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 48
But I put my faith in a higher power and I haven't had a drink for five days now!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 49
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 14 (S09E14) - 50
Aired 19 years ago - Nov 30, 2005

A “talking” whale inspires the fourth-graders to risk everything to return him to his family. With the police on their tails, the boys enlist the help of a foreign government and embark upon an adventure you’ll not soon forget. One in which the boys learn just how far you would go for a friend.

Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 1
Why? Aren't you happy here?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 2
And for those of you just joining us, this is the stingray tank.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 3
Dude, he talks!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 4
Jambu! Jambu, I'm back!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 5
Huhm. Jambu, you wanna talk about rocket ships?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 6
Come on, guys, let's leave Kyle with his stupid whale.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 7
You see, my name is actually Willzyx and I'm from the moon!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 8
You live on the moon?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 9
They want to kill all us zypods, so they keep us in these horrible tanks and make us perform.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 10
Can't. Talk. Any. More.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 11
The whale's name is Willzy-x and he told us he's dying on our planet.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 12
Weh-well, why didn't you tell anybody? - Well I thought I was crazy.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 13
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 14
Timmy...
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 15
We're gonna bust you out of here.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 16
It must have been taken while I was going to the bathroom.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 17
Sir! Sir, we've found a note!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 18
We'll find out who was responsible for this!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 19
It was really funny!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 20
The economy is stale and I...
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 21
Hi. My name's Kyle. Uh, I understand that your country flies people into space for money.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 22
We will just need, say, twenty million dollars?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 23
Kiss my ass, George Bush! This is not funny!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 24
We've gotta split up and find someplace cheaper, that's all.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 25
believe it or not, dozens of people have come to show support for whoever took the whale.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 26
One thing for certain: something is certainly FISHY here at the Sea Park. Tom?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 27
Will you relax? Those kids said they were from South Park.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 28
Whale poo.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 29
Do you think somebody's been using it?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 30
We're too late. They've moved on to another town!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 31
I'm telling you, we're close. It's going to be funny!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 32
Whales are mammals: they don't need water to breathe, dumbass.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 33
Hello? Jimmy, any luck at the Chinese Embassy?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 34
Yeah... He must be really sick.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 35
Uh, excuse me, we're looking for the Mexican Aeronautica y Spacia Administrashown?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 36
Flow, sí, sumi.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 37
Two hundred.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 38
Oh yes, that's my bubbe. Kind of a bad drawing though.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 39
My little bubbe is very caring.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 40
I'm going as fast as I can.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 41
You kids told me you won that whale at Pizza Hut!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 42
I know you're sick, but you could do it!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 43
You're not goin' anywhere! You're in a lot of trouble!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 44
These boys are trying to get that whale home! You're not gonna stop them!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 45
Jesus, Oh God!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 46
Mike? Mike?!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 47
Forty-five to dispatch...
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 48
Look! The Mexican border!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 49
Get them!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 50
Kyle, it's all set to go! Just get Willzyx into the water!
Aired 19 years ago - Nov 16, 2005

Religious leaders recognize Stan as the second coming and a whole soap opera unfolds with the help of a famous R&B singer. The results of Stan’s personality test reveal that he’s depressed. While Stan looks to a new religion for answers, the church leaders recognize Stan as the second coming. Some A-List Hollywood celebrities join the faithful who have set up camp right in front of Stan’s house. MORE -LESS

Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 1
It's very simple. We just need two hundred and forty dollars.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 2
Two hundred and forty dollars?! What'd you do, break something?!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 3
What if I become suicidal, or, or become an alcoholic like Grandpa?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 4
Michelle, our friend Stan wants to have auditing.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 5
You see, Stan, scientology was founded
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 6
It's the main tool of Scientology.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 7
to get rid of their negative emotions.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 8
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 9
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 10
The E-meter results from the little boy in Room D.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 11
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 12
Sir?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 13
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 14
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 15
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 16
We've been looking for your son for a long time, Mr. Marsh.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 17
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 18
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 19
It really is you!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 20
Well-h. I mean, you're not like as good as Leonardo di Caprio,
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 21
Dude, this is my rooom!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 22
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 23
Just leave me alone!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 24
Tom Cruise, this is Park County police!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 25
We're still not exactly sure why Tom Cruise is in the closet
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 26
and so I pull out my gun!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 27
Yes. But he was also a prophet...
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 28
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 29
you have to be in the church for several years, Stan.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 30
which was ruled over by the evil Lord Xenu.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 31
The frozen alien bodies were loaded onto Xenu's galactic cruisers
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 32
and all floated up towards the sky.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 33
There the souls were forced to watch days of brainwashing material
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 34
which still to this day causes all our fears
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 35
Neither did L. Ron when he started.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 36
Tom? Tom, It's Nicole.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 37
I'm not gonna think any differently of you.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 38
Tom, you can't hide forever just because
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 39
I can't. I'm writing a new sacred doctrine for my church.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 40
Those are rumors put out by people
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 41
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 42
Tom, you've gotta come out of the closet. Oh my Gahd.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 43
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 44
Here with more details once again, is R. Kelly.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 45
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 46
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 47
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 48
and I thought YOU were smart enough to see what was really going on!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 49
and you and I together will make three million dollars!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 50
Aired 19 years ago - Nov 09, 2005

Cartman suffers from a mysterious and sudden on-set of the disease, Gingervitus. Sick and tired of being ripped-on because he now has red hair, light skin and freckles, he rallies all ginger kids everywhere to fight against discrimination.

Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 1
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 2
We... came to learn the facts about people with red hair, light skin and freckles.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 3
Actually, the odds of us having a red-haired freckled child were only one in four.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 4
Each one of them's a blessing.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 5
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 6
And so, red hair, light skin, and freckles are all passed down genetically.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 7
Okay, very nice, Kyle. A little dry and sciency for my taste, but there you go.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 8
Make no mistake: ginger kids are evil.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 9
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 10
There! You see?! This is what happens when Cartman is allowed his right to free speech!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 11
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 12
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 13
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 14
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 15
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 16
And how could I become a ginger now?! I wasn't born like this!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 17
I for one can't stand red-haired, freckled kids, but you need to understand, there is no cure.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 18
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 19
Hey dudes, what's goin' on?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 20
Actually, gingervitus is the medical term.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 21
Well, I mean, all last week you were ripping on ginger kids and now you are one.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 22
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 23
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 24
Right. And you're a ginger
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 25
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 26
I've called this meeting because, I don't know about you, but for one am sick and tired of being discriminated against!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 27
The world needs to know that we are people, with feelings! And our parents love us for who we are!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 28
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 29
We need to let everyone in this school know that we are not inferior!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 30
Red Power!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 31
Red Power!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 32
where the new production of "Annie" has just premiered to cries of outrage.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 33
That's right! This is bullcrap! We True Gingers are furious that the role of Annie is being minimalized!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 34
There she is! Get her! Die, you stupid bitch!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 35
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 36
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 37
And if there's one thing I've learned, is that the only way to fight hate, is with more hate!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 38
Hello there! Gary Nelson with Hilton Guest Relations.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 39
My fellow gingers! I envision a world in which there IS no hate!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 40
Now go! Go out into the night and take non-ginger kids from their homes!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 41
Dude, we're gonna go sneak into Cartman's and change him back into a non-ginger!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 42
You know, Cartman is an uncaring, bigoted intolerant asshole, but I have to admit, I had my own prejudice about gingers.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 43
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 44
More ginger kids. Um, meh-maybe we should just go home.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 45
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 46
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 47
Laaa la, laaa lala, laaa la.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 48
In there! Let's go!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 49
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 50
Aired 19 years ago - Nov 02, 2005

Mrs. Garrison realizes he still has feelings for Mr. Slave. But, Mr. Slave has moved on. He plans to marry his new love as soon as the Governor signs the same-sex marriage bill. Mrs. Garrison leads the charge against gay marriage.

Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 1
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 2
That's, that's wonderful, Mr. Garrison!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 3
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 4
No!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 5
Mr. Slave, I am legally a woman now! If you wanna get married, you have to marry ME!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 6
We'll just see about this, you fudge-packin' fags!!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 7
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 8
We figure that way it'll be easier to keep safe so we can get an A.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 9
I've been looking after it all day. I have to go to the hair salon and the candy store!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 10
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 11
Well I say: Marriage is a holy sacrament between a man and a woman!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 12
And there is only one way for us, all together, to make that messeage very clear!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 13
Well uh, we were thinkin' we would, you know, just go appeal to the Governor
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 14
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 15
then this bill gets passed and now all the people against it want me to veto it
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 16
Well, think of the children!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 17
But, if you had such a study, a scientific study which proved same-sex couples are incapable of raising a child...
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 18
Oh great. It's a pretty easy project. Kyle's really good with the egg.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 19
You've all been doing a great job taking care of your eggs, but now we're going to mix it up a little.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 20
Come on, Bebe. We'll take your egg for you and Wendy to look after.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 21
Hoh now, what makes you say that, Wendy? I'm sure two boys can handle an egg just fine...
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 22
Okay, there. Now we can carry this egg around in this case without it getting cracked.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 23
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 24
Wendy, I just wanna get an A, okay?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 25
Maybe I don't need your help!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 26
Okay, children, it's Wednesday! Time for an official egg check! Heidi and Eric?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 27
That's impossible!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 28
Look at the freak egg! It has two daddies!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 29
Same-sex couples from all over the state have shown up in support,
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 30
People in the gay community want the same rights as married couples, but dissenters don't want the word "marriage" corrupted.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 31
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 32
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 33
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 34
You broke your egg?? Uh but you're partnered with a girl.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 35
No. That's why I'm here. I think you should still give Heidi an A on the project.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 36
We'll pretend this never happened, all right?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 37
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 38
and burn down your house! Do you hear me?!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 39
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 40
Who do you want me to kill?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 41
What do you expect me to do with it?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 42
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 43
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 44
Aah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?! I took care of this egg, Kyle, not you!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 45
And I'm gonna hold it up in front of Wendy, and say "See?! I'm every bit as good as Kyle is."
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 46
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 47
I don't. She's totally lame.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 48
It was really important for me to get an A, Stan.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 49
Stan... Do you really think my hat is stupid?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 50
As some of you know, my biggest issue with gay marriage regards child-rearing.
Aired 19 years ago - Oct 26, 2005

The 4th grade girls are having a sleepover. It’s imperative that the boys find out what goes on behind those closed doors. Butters is picked to be the boy who must fake his death, become a girl and infiltrate this age-old feminine tradition.

Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 1
Inside are colors... which must open up some sort of temporal timewall
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 2
So what do you suggest?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 3
Yeah, there's just one problem: a boy can't go to a chicks' slumber party.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 4
No, not like Juwanna Mann, Kevin, okay?! It's way cooler than that!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 5
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 6
Don't do it, son! You have too much to live for!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 7
Butters? Butters, whatever is troubling you, this isn't the answer!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 8
He, h-he's coming down! Oh thank God!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 9
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 10
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 11
NOOOOOO!! Don't put him down there!! Don't put him down there!!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 12
But we all must try to move on
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 13
Oh... Thank you.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 14
Now Marjorine, that's not very lady-like.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 15
I'm sure all the other girls will be happy to show you around the school. Won't you, girls?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 16
Heidi, sweetie, I'm just gonna set the snacks over here.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 17
I know, sweetie, but I got a call from Marjorine's mother.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 18
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 19
Oh Butters! Oh Butters, I miss you so much!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 20
You need tuh... just accept that your son is dead, not try to bring him back.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 21
It's been done before, what you're thinkin' of. The Nelson boy, back in '85.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 22
The Indians knew that. That's why they stopped using it when the ground went sour.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 23
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 24
But if they all start, you know, lezzing out, just roll with it.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 25
Remember Butters, you must get that future-telling device from the girls at all costs!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 26
There's not gonna be any drinking, no pot, and most importantly, if I catch any boys anywhere near this party, they're gonna be in a world of hurt.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 27
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 28
Who wants to go first?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 29
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 30
Huh? Oh nothin'. Hey, you guys wanna tell each other's futures now?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 31
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 32
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 33
Oh... Butters... smell like... bacon.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 34
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 35
Marjorine, we were just teasing. We think you're great.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 36
Yeah. How about we all give you a little makeover, Marjorine?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 37
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 38
Marjorine, sweetie, your mom's on the phone.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 39
Now look! I'm getting pretty sick of this! Well I put myself through a lot, and you can't talk to me like that! Uh, mom.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 40
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 41
Well uh you know, it's easy. You just put your thumbs and index fingers in here...
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 42
Stand back! I had a... great time tonight, but I gotta do what I was sent here to do!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 43
No! That darn device is nothin' but trouble! Ah I'm done, and I'm goin' home to tell my Mom and Dad I'm not dead!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 44
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 45
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 46
Linda, I did it for you! You wanted him back so much. So did I!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 47
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 48
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 49
It's gone, dear. It's gone. Forgive me.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 50
Aired 19 years ago - Oct 19, 2005

A global warming state of emergency is declared in South Park. The world’s largest beaver dam breaks and floods the adjacent town of Beaverton. As the victims wait for help to arrive, everyone in South Park tackles priority number one: who is to blame? Only Stan and Cartman know who’s really at fault.

Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 1
Oh my gosh, those poor people!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 2
Any word on how the survivors in the town are doing, Mitch?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 3
No, no we haven't actually seen it, Tom, we're just reporting it.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 4
Yeah! George Bush doesn't care about beavers!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 5
Mom, dad... they-they're gonna go help those people, right?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 6
That's not important right now, son. What's important is figuring out whose fault this is.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 7
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 8
Dude, I-I just.. I-I don't know what to do here.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 9
Hey dudes. Sorry I couldn't make it yesterday. What did you guys do?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 10
But now, shocking new evidence has indicated that the flood in Beaverton was caused by... Global warming!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 11
We were warned this would happen, and.. we didn't listen. We didn't listen!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 12
then this is only the beginning.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 13
My colleagues in the scientific community are still running tests, but - we believe it may happen the day after tomorrow.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 14
but the fact is no statistical proof has ever been confirmed that global warming exists.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 15
Listen! Listen! We finished running the tests.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 16
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 17
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 18
No Stan, I'm afraid us adults just let you children down. We didn't take care of our Earth, and now you've inherited our problems.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 19
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 20
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 21
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 22
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 23
I'm in pretty bad shape. My leg is broken, and my left boob is leaking.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 24
This is a Fox news update: Global warming disaster!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 25
Already we're reporting that the death toll here in Chicago is over six hundred billion people.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 26
Can you believe it Stan? I never thought global warming could happen so fast. I guess... I didn't listen.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 27
George Bush?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 28
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 29
why don't you share some of your Jew gold with the people caught in the flood?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 30
But.. we need supplies - food, silicone.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 31
All we can do is try to wait it out, as long as we can.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 32
The south western states might have a chance, but New York will have tidal waves that will envelope all of the north east.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 33
Oh, oh God damn it!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 34
Why haven't they come for us?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 35
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 36
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 37
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 38
Dad, we-we're trapped in Beaverton, we were trying to save everyone.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 39
You just stay put son. I'm coming for you. Do you hear me? I'm coming for you!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 40
Let me go, too.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 41
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 42
Feeling warm is a symptom of the last stages of hypothermia.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 43
Maybe we should strip our jackets off.. and warm our bodies next to each other?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 44
Sir, more people in Beaverton are calling. They say they're trapped in floods and fire now.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 45
We've just compiled some new information. The flood in Beaverton wasn't caused by global warming after all.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 46
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 47
Oh well, thank you so much. What a swift and speedy resuce.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 48
No Cartman, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 49
Dude we don't have time for your stupid jokes, we're gonna die!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 50
Aired 19 years ago - Apr 20, 2005

All the kids are getting ready for the big South Park Elementary Talent Show and Jimmy can’t wait to perform his new comedy routines. But lately, just like generations of little boys before him, Jimmy’s noticed that one of his body parts has a mind of its own. Knowing he can’t get up in front of the entire school in an excited state, Jimmy must find a way to gain control of his raging hormones in time to perform in the show. MORE -LESS

Aired 19 years ago - Apr 13, 2005

Butters is freaked out when he thinks he can communicate with the dead. Although his parents have made it clear to him there are no such things as ghosts, Butters is sure one is haunting him. Butters knows he has to give up his ghost pal or be put into a mental institution.

Aired 19 years ago - Apr 06, 2005

If the boys can lose just one baseball game, it gets them out of playing the boring sport for the entire summer.

Aired 19 years ago - Mar 30, 2005

Kenny is the only one of his friends to get the newest, coolest portable gaming device and Cartman can’t deal with it. Will they remain best friends forever?

Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 1
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 2
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 3
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 4
You're dead, but, your death was no accident. Heaven needs you.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 5
Satan is planning a massiva attack and he knows we are too few in number to stop him!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 6
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 7
The Dark Lord knows that our armies are few in number, and unorgamized.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 8
The child did something none of us could: Reach lever sixty on the PSP.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 9
They are... ten billion in number. Maybe more.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 10
Basically, Kenny, you... are Keanu Reeves.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 11
My fellow damned souls!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 12
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 13
Do not fear, my Lord. Your army is great!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 14
It is from here, Kenny, that you shall command the armies of heaven.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 15
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 16
The time is at hand, Kenny.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 17
Amazing, doctor! You've revived somebody who's been legally dead for almost a day!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 18
It's a miracle... Kenny, you're alive.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 19
But his soul is still in here.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 20
With it we can actually keep Kenny the tomato alive for years.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 21
The child's soul is now trapped inside his vegetative body.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 22
Are we in trouble or something?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 23
Dudes, you were the friends a guy could have.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 24
It is only because I feel so sorry for you that I leave you my Sony PSP.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 25
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 26
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 27
Your army nears the Kingdon of Heaven, my Lord.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 28
Full march, to the Gates of Heaven! Victory is ours!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 29
He's alive. He-ee smiles when I talk to him. I think...
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 30
Kenny told me this one time, that he wouldn't wanna be kept alive via feeding tube.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 31
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 32
No! There is another.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 33
Gabriel and Uriel, you go down to Earth and try to get that feeding tube removed.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 34
You see your honor, I was the only one that Kenny McCormick told his wishes to.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 35
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 36
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 37
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 38
This is hopeless, Gabriel. We cannot interact with anything on Earth, how could we possibly get a feeding tube removed?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 39
Good. Now all we must do is pray nobody interferes with the child's death a second time.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 40
This is HBC News. A right-to-die case debate is heating up in Colorado,
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 41
You bureaucrats have no right to play God and take that tube out!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 42
We must respect the wishes of people's BFFs.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 43
The feeding tube has been pulled!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 44
I will do what we always do: Use the Republicans.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 45
Who are we to decide if Kenny should live or die?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 46
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 47
The biggest battle of all time is about to begin: the battle of the feeding tube.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 48
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 49
If I should ever be in a vegetative state and kept alive on life support, please...
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 50
Oh geez. Maybe we let this thing get out of hand.
Aired 19 years ago - Mar 23, 2005

As talent agents, Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny can bank 10% of their client’s earnings. After they pool all their resources to impress their one and only client, another agency steals him away. Desperate to earn their money back, they take on another client with plans to launch her on a new reality show.

Aired 19 years ago - Mar 16, 2005

Cartman seeks to rid the world of hippies once and for all.

Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 1
The government is using its corporate ties to make you sell magazines so they can get rich.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 2
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 3
What's wrong is that there's more of you showing up every day and I need to find out why!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 4
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 5
Sign, sign everywhere. Sign Done something to my mind
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 6
All right, people, we can move onto issue number 14B.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 7
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 8
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 9
A what?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 10
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 11
Eric, we're, we're talkin' about potholes right now, m'kay.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 12
You see, the corporations take their profits and invest it in the war machine while keeping everyone blind.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 13
I knew you were trying to have a hippie jam festival! All right, everyone pack up your crap, we're going to our basement!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 14
What is your problem? Get lost, little Eichmann.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 15
I was just over at your house and freed sixty-three people you had locked in your basement.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 16
- What did I do?! - You can't kidnap people and lock them in your basement.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 17
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 18
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 19
Thousands of people have descended on South Park for a hippie music jam festival.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 20
Sooo great to see sooo many people turn out to make an impact on on the world!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 21
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 22
Oh, Jesus, what has gotten into that kid?!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 23
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 24
...Oh my God. Our son is with those people.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 25
Tom, the crowd just keeps getting bigger and the town is literally bursting at the seams.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 26
Stan?! Stan?! I need to get through, please!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 27
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 28
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 29
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 30
Please. Some of our kids are in there. We should've listened to you earlier.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 31
We're just asking you to try. The whole town even got together and, and baked you a cake.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 32
- Fine. - Anything else?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 33
All right, fine. But now listen up and listen good!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 34
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 35
Yeah, so, where are they. Let's go get 'em.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 36
No no, can't you imagine a place where people live together and like,
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 37
All right, everyone listen up! The hippie jam band festival is now 14 miles in diameter
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 38
If we can reach the stage, we can upload this Slayer CD into their music system.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 39
I've designed a vehicle that can bore its way through even the densest hippie crowd.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 40
a black person who can sacrifice himself in case something goes wrong.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 41
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 42
Look, it's a long shot! But it's also the only shot we-
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 43
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 44
Some call it a suicide mission, but the heroic men and women of the hippie digger may be our only hope of survival.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 45
Butters, if anything happens to Mommy, I, I want you to be a good boy.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 46
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 47
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 48
- They're in! - All right! All right, yeah! We did it!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 49
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 50
Aired 19 years ago - Mar 09, 2005

Mr. Garrison goes to great lengths to get what he’s always wanted…a sex change. As he enjoys his new womanly attributes, the rest of the town gets in touch with their inner feelings too. Meanwhile, Kyle wrestles with the fact that Jews just aren’t good at basketball.

Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 1
Well, it's just that... Jew's can't play basketball.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 2
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 3
Nyanyanyanyanyaaanyaaa! You-hoo-hoo-hoo loh-ost! Hahahahahaaahaaa!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 4
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 5
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 6
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 7
Look at that, I'm peeing sittin' down like a dainty dignified little woman.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 8
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 9
You guys, Mr. Garrison has titties.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 10
What? Th'um, nuh-nothing. I- I'll explain it to you when you're a little older.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 11
Gerald, that is very closed-minded of you! You shouldn't judge people who want to change.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 12
And so, they can have a surgery that makes them more into the person they see themselves as.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 13
Yeah. My school teacher wanted to be a woman, and you made him into one.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 14
...You what?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 15
What we do is slice your face and peel it back so we can insert now pig-ment producing cells inside.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 16
And we finish it off with a nice peniplasty to enhance the genitalia.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 17
Hello, Mr. Slave. Boy have I been busy. A woman's work is never done.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 18
Would you like to take this beautiful woman to bed?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 19
Well, I ASSUMED you supported me. It's still me; I just have a vagina instead of a penis.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 20
- How can you say that?! You're gay too! - I'm not gay! I'm a woman!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 21
The doctor who gave Mr. Garrison his sex change said he can make me tall and black.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 22
This is what your transgender progressive thinking gets you! Now your son wants to be transracial!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 23
My body doesn't reflect who I am inside.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 24
- Oh, that does it! - Where are you going?!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 25
What kind of nutjob would agree to surgically alter my son into a tall African-American?!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 26
I love dolphins, Ever since I was a child I dreamt of... But that has hardly any bearing on what I'm hear to-
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 27
If I could swim with the dolphins, the soft and gentle dolphins... Why can't I swim with the dolphins?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 28
There's nothing crazy about a person wanting to look on the outside the way they feel on ths inside.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 29
Oh jeez, should I do it?! Should I do it?! Oh what the hell!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 30
Men are all the same. My boyfriend walked out on me! Turns out he was a fag.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 31
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 32
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 33
Sheila, ih-it was wrong of us to be so judgmental of Kyle.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 34
All I did is change my appearance to look the way I felt... here.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 35
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 36
My dad is even gonna take me back down to the all-star game to see if I can try out for the team again!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 37
You here for an abortion too? Yeah, I discovered a few days ago I wasn't bleedin' out my coo, so I guess I'm knocked up.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 38
- ...an abortion? - Yeah, I've got one growing inside me.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 39
Don't you tell me what I can and can't do with my body! A woman has a right to choose!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 40
You mean, I'll never know what it feels like to have a baby growing inside me and then scramble its brains and vacuum it out?
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 41
...Oh boy, do I feel like a jackass.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 42
You made me into a FREAK is what you did! And I want you to change me back!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 43
And your scrotum has been made into a dorsal fin for a man who wanted to look more like a dolphin.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 44
and the best fourth-grade players from Wyoming.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 45
- All right! Dad, I can play! - All right Kyle!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 46
- Boys, have you seen Kyle?! He's not at home. - Kyle went down to play in the basketball game, Mrs. Garrison.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 47
Those testicles in his knees are ticking time balls!
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 48
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 49
Well where the hell am I supposed to go to the bathroom? I I need a large tank with salt water.
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 50
- Sorry ma'am, no tickets, no entry. - Look, there's a boy with my balls in his knees and he's in serious danger!