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Scrubs

S3 E9
Status
Ended
Network
NBC
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Season 3  "My Dirty Secret"  3x9

Aired 20 years ago - Dec 11, 2003

Elliot is feeling uncomfortable using clinical terms for her patient's private parts – a result of a repressed childhood and an accidental orgasm she inflicted on a patient during a pelvic exam - so Carla tries to teach her how to say "vagina" and "penis" without blushing. Meanwhile, Dr. Cox crashes at J.D. and Turk's after taking bad advice from J.D. Carla suggests no more sex until the wedding and Turk only comes to terms with it after learning the real meaning of romance from a patient with prostate cancer. Ultimately Carla backs down on her own idea when she has a stressful day at work finally letting people make fun of her.

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Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 1
For reading your chicken-scratch handwriting. Who is with me?
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 2
by some guy in his 30s who still wears shorts to work.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 3
Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 4
So, you and Jordan, huh? You wanna talk about it?
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 5
Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 6
But I feel pretty certain that we're gonna find something.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 7
You would veto the French Riviera for our honeymoon
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 8
- This guy's sick. - Thanks.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 9
Loose debris can get sucked up into the air-conditioning vents.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 10
and I won't have to waste a day granting the wishes of imaginary fishermen.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 11
Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 12
Another one bites the dust, huh, sport?
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 13
It's bad enough you run out on a patient in the middle of a pelvic exam,
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 14
- "Anal" is not a dirty word, sir. - Tell that to my wife.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 15
Perhaps you should wait out in the hallway.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 16
This is happening fast. You must have a lot of emotions swirling around.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 17
Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 18
It starts every day at five,
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 19
I go ahead and dig in because I do love the lad
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 20
and I only have to work 300 or 400 hours a week,
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 21
All I wanna do before I restart this whole glorious cycle is
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 22
So, there you are, superstar. Fix that.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 23
You don't wanna end up like the Randolphs back there,
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 24
Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 25
if we didn't have sex again until our wedding night.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 26
I'll have sex with you when you're sleeping.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 27
Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 28
It's not my fault dirty stuff makes me uncomfortable.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 29
Jorge, I need to see you in the potting shed.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 30
But she never fired him, even after he kidnapped her and took her to Acapulco.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 31
I know what you have to do. I'm gonna help you through this.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 32
- I'm saying, this is torture. - Why don't you take care of yourself?
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 33
Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 34
I thought I was the locksmith.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 35
You told her that spending the day with a baby isn't really a job.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 36
But I'm out, OK? It's 3am, and there's nothing in the world
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 37
I know there's trepidation when you talk about surgery near the penis.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 38
Sexual dysfunction can be treated with anything from Viagra to a penis pump.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 39
End of discussion. I'm not having the surgery.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 40
Let's forget about patients for now and start with this.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 41
This just isn't fair. Not fair at all. It's ridiculous.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 42
Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 43
We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off, the classic anthem to platonic love?
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 44
Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 45
You're right. That stuff makes me uncomfortable.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 46
You practically tore him a new bingle-bore.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 47
If you met Jesus, you'd be trying to tell him where to park his donkey.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 48
Careful. You better be careful, cos I'm Carla.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 49
- We're actually saying "black" now. - I was right, Catherine.
 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 50
It's true.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 2
by some guy in his 30s who still wears shorts to work.
#2 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 3 #3 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 4
So, you and Jordan, huh? You wanna talk about it?
#4 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 5 #5 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 6
But I feel pretty certain that we're gonna find something.
#6 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 7
You would veto the French Riviera for our honeymoon
#7 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 8
- This guy's sick. - Thanks.
#8 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 9
Loose debris can get sucked up into the air-conditioning vents.
#9 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 10
and I won't have to waste a day granting the wishes of imaginary fishermen.
#10 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 11 #11 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 12
Another one bites the dust, huh, sport?
#12 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 13
It's bad enough you run out on a patient in the middle of a pelvic exam,
#13 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 14
- "Anal" is not a dirty word, sir. - Tell that to my wife.
#14 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 15
Perhaps you should wait out in the hallway.
#15 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 16
This is happening fast. You must have a lot of emotions swirling around.
#16 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 17 #17 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 18
It starts every day at five,
#18 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 19
I go ahead and dig in because I do love the lad
#19 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 20
and I only have to work 300 or 400 hours a week,
#20 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 21
All I wanna do before I restart this whole glorious cycle is
#21 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 22
So, there you are, superstar. Fix that.
#22 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 23
You don't wanna end up like the Randolphs back there,
#23 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 24 #24 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 25
if we didn't have sex again until our wedding night.
#25 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 26
I'll have sex with you when you're sleeping.
#26 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 27 #27 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 28
It's not my fault dirty stuff makes me uncomfortable.
#28 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 29
Jorge, I need to see you in the potting shed.
#29 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 30
But she never fired him, even after he kidnapped her and took her to Acapulco.
#30 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 31
I know what you have to do. I'm gonna help you through this.
#31 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 32
- I'm saying, this is torture. - Why don't you take care of yourself?
#32 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 33 #33 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 34
I thought I was the locksmith.
#34 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 35
You told her that spending the day with a baby isn't really a job.
#35 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 36
But I'm out, OK? It's 3am, and there's nothing in the world
#36 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 37
I know there's trepidation when you talk about surgery near the penis.
#37 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 38
Sexual dysfunction can be treated with anything from Viagra to a penis pump.
#38 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 39
End of discussion. I'm not having the surgery.
#39 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 40
Let's forget about patients for now and start with this.
#40 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 41
This just isn't fair. Not fair at all. It's ridiculous.
#41 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 42 #42 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 43
We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off, the classic anthem to platonic love?
#43 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 44 #44 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 45
You're right. That stuff makes me uncomfortable.
#45 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 46
You practically tore him a new bingle-bore.
#46 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 47
If you met Jesus, you'd be trying to tell him where to park his donkey.
#47 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 48
Careful. You better be careful, cos I'm Carla.
#48 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 49
- We're actually saying "black" now. - I was right, Catherine.
#49 Recap of Scrubs Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 50
It's true.
#50