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M*A*S*H

S1 E16
Status
Ended
Network
CBS
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Season 1  "The Ringbanger"  1x16

Aired 52 years ago - Jan 21, 1973

Hawkeye and Trapper operate on a famous Colonel - after discovering that he is particularly ruthless about sacrificing his men, they come up with a scheme to get him sent back to the states with a little unwitting help from Frank, Margaret, and a drunk Henry.

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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 1
- Some real estate doesn't come cheap. - We're not too hot for your business.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 2
- And this war is not gonna last for ever. - Well, no war's perfect.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 3
Thanks for the hooch. I shall go out and get myself a little exercise here. I'll see ya.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 4
A reminder that he's a quarterback and we're water boys.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 5
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 6
He's racked up twice as many casualties as any other commander,
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 7
- Morning, Frank. - Wouldn't you like to know!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 8
- But, sir... - Oh! Ouch! Oh, my ear!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 9
Except maybe he's become a drinking buddy of Pierce and McIntyre.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 10
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 11
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 12
Frank Burns is giving Henry a hard time about your patient - Colonel Brighton.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 13
Will the owner of a red pick-up truck,
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 14
Absence of pain.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 15
They'll put someone else in charge of my outfit.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 16
- What do you mean? - He slips away once in a while and...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 17
Well, what about, uh... what's-his-name, Burns?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 18
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 19
A major?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 20
I want to give you a checkup, see about getting you on your way.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 21
Pierce and McIntyre, they bring nurses here, those degenerates.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 22
What are you trying to do?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 23
Oh, they're not his. No, they belong to a nurse "friend" of his.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 24
Kind of a head lag. Your thigh is fine, because you're not suffering any leg lag.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 25
No, this is my tent. I remember it, because that's where the PA speaker...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 26
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 27
The milk you made such a fuss about getting.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 28
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 29
Why are you keeping him here?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 30
sometimes a wound can trigger a bigger problem beneath the surface.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 31
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 32
that needs to be cuddled and held, just like the rest of us.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 33
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 34
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 35
I saw her getting spiffed up. Thought you two were gonna tiptoe through the minefield.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 36
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 37
- It's nothing like that. - Then why the new hairdo and...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 38
Would you promise me there's nothing between you and the colonel?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 39
- She's good-looking. - You should see her in a sweater!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 40
- Thanks for clueing me in. - Oh, there's only one thing, Buzz.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 41
I'm going to my, uh... tent.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 42
I mean, it just seems funny they say do it at night.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 43
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 45
I'm not here as an officer. Or as a nurse.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 47
You want it to be as strong as this one.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 48
And I didn't even know they were in season.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 49
- He can't keep his hands off me. - I know you're there.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 50
Where the deer and the antelope play

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 2
- And this war is not gonna last for ever. - Well, no war's perfect.
#2 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 3
Thanks for the hooch. I shall go out and get myself a little exercise here. I'll see ya.
#3 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 4
A reminder that he's a quarterback and we're water boys.
#4 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 5 #5 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 6
He's racked up twice as many casualties as any other commander,
#6 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 7
- Morning, Frank. - Wouldn't you like to know!
#7 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 8
- But, sir... - Oh! Ouch! Oh, my ear!
#8 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 9
Except maybe he's become a drinking buddy of Pierce and McIntyre.
#9 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 10 #10 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 11 #11 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 12
Frank Burns is giving Henry a hard time about your patient - Colonel Brighton.
#12 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 13
Will the owner of a red pick-up truck,
#13 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 14
Absence of pain.
#14 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 15
They'll put someone else in charge of my outfit.
#15 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 16
- What do you mean? - He slips away once in a while and...
#16 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 17
Well, what about, uh... what's-his-name, Burns?
#17 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 18 #18 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 19
A major?
#19 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 20
I want to give you a checkup, see about getting you on your way.
#20 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 21
Pierce and McIntyre, they bring nurses here, those degenerates.
#21 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 22
What are you trying to do?
#22 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 23
Oh, they're not his. No, they belong to a nurse "friend" of his.
#23 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 24
Kind of a head lag. Your thigh is fine, because you're not suffering any leg lag.
#24 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 25
No, this is my tent. I remember it, because that's where the PA speaker...
#25 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 26 #26 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 27
The milk you made such a fuss about getting.
#27 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 28 #28 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 29
Why are you keeping him here?
#29 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 30
sometimes a wound can trigger a bigger problem beneath the surface.
#30 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 31 #31 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 32
that needs to be cuddled and held, just like the rest of us.
#32 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 33 #33 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 34 #34 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 35
I saw her getting spiffed up. Thought you two were gonna tiptoe through the minefield.
#35 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 36 #36 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 37
- It's nothing like that. - Then why the new hairdo and...
#37 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 38
Would you promise me there's nothing between you and the colonel?
#38 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 39
- She's good-looking. - You should see her in a sweater!
#39 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 40
- Thanks for clueing me in. - Oh, there's only one thing, Buzz.
#40 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 41
I'm going to my, uh... tent.
#41 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 42
I mean, it just seems funny they say do it at night.
#42 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 43 #43 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 44 #44 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 45
I'm not here as an officer. Or as a nurse.
#45 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 46 #46 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 47
You want it to be as strong as this one.
#47 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 48
And I didn't even know they were in season.
#48 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 49
- He can't keep his hands off me. - I know you're there.
#49 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 50
Where the deer and the antelope play
#50