S3 E16
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Airs
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
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Season 3  "Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus"  3x16

Aired 24 years ago - Dec 29, 1999

Cartman is convinced he is going through puberty since he started bleeding out of his ass. Dr. Mephisto gives Stan some hormones and he takes the entire bottle. Stan gets facial hair, boobs and his voice starts changing. People are waiting outside of Jesus' home to see what kind of miracle he offers which ends up involving a comeback performance of a very old Rod Stewart and eventually an appearance by God.

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Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 1
So, what happens at the millenium?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 2
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 3
- Is that good?! - I don't know!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 4
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 5
"Offers complete protection during heavy flow".
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 6
We can hang out together on New Year's Eve!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 7
Well, the way I see, if he really is who he says he is,
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 8
Father, everyone is starting to pay attention to me again because of the new millenium!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 9
Be ye careful of pride, Jesus! - Just make an appearance!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 10
Ike, I don't know what to do! All the guys are getting their periods
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 11
Yeah! I could just SAY I got my period! It's not like they'll check!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 12
Tampon?! What's a tampon?!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 13
Awesome! We get powers?!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 14
I don't wanna be the only kid who doesn't get his period before the new year!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 15
For whatever reason, people are starting to follow me again!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 16
Good morning, South Park! It's 8 AM and only 2 more days until the new millenium!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 17
Are you there, God! It's me! Stan! How come you didn't help me?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 18
I've given it much thought, my children, and you were right!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 19
we just got Rod Stewart to agree to play a COME-BACK CONCERT AT THE
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 20
For he is Saviour!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 21
GODDESS MOON!? - I'm here!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 22
Yeah! I agree! I think that Craig is cooler than Clyde, and Clyde is a dirty dumb fuck!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 23
Okay! That makes sense! Mine's going swimmingly too! - Mine too!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 24
because everyone else the same age has gotten their period and this person hasn't!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 25
I think it might clear things up for you! - Okay!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 26
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 27
And that's my song about the menstral cycle! Stan, did that clear things up for you?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 28
only periodless eight-year-old boy! I'm gonna do something about it!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 29
for I am the lamb of God!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 30
The folks are sure glad you're playing! It's really given them a lot of faith in me again!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 31
Again?! Now, Mr. Stewart, what did we say about trying to hold in Mr. Dookie?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 32
Nobody! I mean, uh, well, my dad!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 33
Yes! Here! Tell you father to take just one of these pills every week!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 34
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 35
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 36
So what're we gonna do for New Year's?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 37
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 38
We just didn't get to him in time! There's nothing we could do!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 39
because they've seen the Backstreet Boys doing it on TV or something!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 40
THE New Year's Eve event is going to happen!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 41
Of course, he is! This is Jesus we're talking about! He wouldn't let us down!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 42
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 43
Hey, Las Vegas is a pretty cool place for us mature people!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 44
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 45
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 46
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 47
- Alright! Enough of this! Bring out God! - Yeah!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 48
Let's get'im!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 49
He doesn't hate YOU! He hates ME! He's gonna let me be crucified again!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 50
If God answered all our prayers, there'd be nothing left for us to do ourselves!

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 2 #2 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 3
- Is that good?! - I don't know!
#3
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 4 #4 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 5
"Offers complete protection during heavy flow".
#5
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 6
We can hang out together on New Year's Eve!
#6
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 7
Well, the way I see, if he really is who he says he is,
#7
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 8
Father, everyone is starting to pay attention to me again because of the new millenium!
#8
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 9
Be ye careful of pride, Jesus! - Just make an appearance!
#9
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 10
Ike, I don't know what to do! All the guys are getting their periods
#10
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 11
Yeah! I could just SAY I got my period! It's not like they'll check!
#11
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 12
Tampon?! What's a tampon?!
#12
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 13
Awesome! We get powers?!
#13
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 14
I don't wanna be the only kid who doesn't get his period before the new year!
#14
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 15
For whatever reason, people are starting to follow me again!
#15
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 16
Good morning, South Park! It's 8 AM and only 2 more days until the new millenium!
#16
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 17
Are you there, God! It's me! Stan! How come you didn't help me?
#17
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 18
I've given it much thought, my children, and you were right!
#18
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 19
we just got Rod Stewart to agree to play a COME-BACK CONCERT AT THE
#19
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 20
For he is Saviour!
#20
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 21
GODDESS MOON!? - I'm here!
#21
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 22
Yeah! I agree! I think that Craig is cooler than Clyde, and Clyde is a dirty dumb fuck!
#22
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 23
Okay! That makes sense! Mine's going swimmingly too! - Mine too!
#23
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 24
because everyone else the same age has gotten their period and this person hasn't!
#24
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 25
I think it might clear things up for you! - Okay!
#25
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 26 #26 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 27
And that's my song about the menstral cycle! Stan, did that clear things up for you?
#27
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 28
only periodless eight-year-old boy! I'm gonna do something about it!
#28
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 29
for I am the lamb of God!
#29
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 30
The folks are sure glad you're playing! It's really given them a lot of faith in me again!
#30
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 31
Again?! Now, Mr. Stewart, what did we say about trying to hold in Mr. Dookie?
#31
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 32
Nobody! I mean, uh, well, my dad!
#32
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 33
Yes! Here! Tell you father to take just one of these pills every week!
#33
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 34 #34 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 35 #35 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 36
So what're we gonna do for New Year's?
#36
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 37 #37 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 38
We just didn't get to him in time! There's nothing we could do!
#38
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 39
because they've seen the Backstreet Boys doing it on TV or something!
#39
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 40
THE New Year's Eve event is going to happen!
#40
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 41
Of course, he is! This is Jesus we're talking about! He wouldn't let us down!
#41
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 42 #42 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 43
Hey, Las Vegas is a pretty cool place for us mature people!
#43
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 44 #44 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 45 #45 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 46 #46 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 47
- Alright! Enough of this! Bring out God! - Yeah!
#47
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 48
Let's get'im!
#48
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 49
He doesn't hate YOU! He hates ME! He's gonna let me be crucified again!
#49
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 50
If God answered all our prayers, there'd be nothing left for us to do ourselves!
#50