Two and a Half Men

After falling off the roof, Alan needs Charlie's help in looking after Jake, which interferes with Charlie's social life.

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#2

You want to flip me the bird, but the poor little fella can't fly.

#3 #4

Does that spell "Weekend Dad" to you?

#5

A simpler time.

#6 #7

I got to pee.

#8

I am not reaching into your pants.

#9 #10 #11

Charlie?

#12

Don't worry Alan, I've got everything covered.

#13 #14

- No, I didn't. - Yes, you did.

#15 #16

but I appreciate your concern.

#17

Oh, sure. Don't ask me what I want.

#18

Can we go out to dinner tonight?

#19

I was in a lot of pain and all my coach said was, "Walk it off."

#20 #21

No, you don't.

#22

Alan, I can't deal with this. Talk to your son.

#23

Yeah? Well, do your worst.

#24

Oh, come on. It'll be fun.

#25

Zesty fire-roasted chicken with Grandma Clucky's secret herbs and spices.

#26 #27 #28

But I like the Cajun Clucky's better.

#29 #30 #31

** Gotta pee, gotta pee * ** Gotta pee, pee, pee... *

#32

Yes, I can see that.

#33 #34

It's a simple adjustment that any idiot can do!

#35 #36 #37

Yeah, well, I want my $80,000 Mercedes not to smell like chicken.

#38

and I want to go home.

#39

I just stuff you through the return slot?

#40

Right. It'll just be you and me.

#41

You're not gonna like the answer.

#42

'cause that's what's about to happen.

#43

Question is "What?"

#44 #45

Are you happy?

#46 #47 #48

Oh, what fresh child-proof hell is this?

#49 #50