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Continuing
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Airs
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXX
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 5

Aired 8 years ago - Dec 10, 2009

After being banned for 10 years from a local drinking competition appropriately named "Flipadelphia," the gang tries to reignite their old rivalry with another local bar. Finding that they are in need of some serious practice, the guys head to Dennis' old fraternity house at the University of Pennsylvania to get their game up to speed while Dee hones her skills on her own. Frank wears skinny pants. MORE -LESS

Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 1
Whoa, whoa. What- What the hell is that?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 2
He's lying. He doesn't have any poison. No, I don't have any on me.
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If you're using the mayonnaise, yeah, probably. I-I'm sorry.
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Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
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I don't have bison fingers! I don't have bison fingers. Oh, yes, you do.
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Maybe you could be, um, team instigator. Yeah! There we go.
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Oh. This brings me back.
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What? I never- I don't chug dick. That's crazy.
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- Like this! - Frank? What the hell are you doing, man?
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Oh, sixth grade? Cool, man. Well, I guess I kind of blazed the trail...
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You- You want to get in on this? Yeah.
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We got Ritarall. Ritarall?
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Okay? Have some respect for a brother, okay? I'm a legend around this place.
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No more zapping.
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One more time, just- Oh, Dee. Dee, it's getting hard to watch.
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That's right. These kids these days, I'll tell you what.
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They're my brothers? No, no. That's not fun.
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That wasn't fun! It's not fun! It's not fun!
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Just, please, please take care of those little savages. Got it.
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Woo-hoo-hoo! Jesus Christ.
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Yeah! Jesus Christ, Charlie.
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Uh, paint you up? How? Yes.
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Sorry. Excuse us. Uh, are you ready?
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I used to dress guys up like bananas and walk them around the quad.
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Like while he was sleeping. I'm all about that shit!
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And I don't understand that. It's like they live in a fantasy world, where,
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 32
so that when he's in using it, people can see his junk.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How?
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And how about them apples? And all that Gordon Wood business!
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Oh! That's so weird! That's so- That's long-term shit. I would- Yes!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 39
I've created a masterpiece.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 40
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the amount of book learning I would have put to my brain- Read! And math, dude!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 42
Rivalry. Rivalry. Rivalry. Rivalry. Rivalry. Rivalry.
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They really got to me! They burned me and I haven't let it go.
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Hey! Oh! Oh!
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- I think we need to rethink who our rivals are. - What do you mean?
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Okay! That's it! It's a rivalry! The new rivalry!
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- And paint girls! - And get painted by them!
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I know you're not, Sis. I'm proud of you. We're really proud of you.
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Go! Go, Dee! Go, Dee! Go, Dee!
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Oh, come on! Come on! Dee!
Aired 8 years ago - Dec 03, 2009

When Dee gets a part in the new M. Night Shyamalan film, Mac and Charlie seize a chance to pitch their movie script.

Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 1
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because I have a couple questions regarding the detes of my character.
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has no lines and sits in that tent over there till we're ready for her.
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I mean, because I want the movie to be big, you know, and, like, a box office smash...
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As long as we don't cover up that body with a lab coat, bro. No, dude.
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Brawn- Muscles...
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It's a science experiment with a dog that goes absolutely haywire.
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Dolph Lundgren will be the voice of this dog.
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What if he can smell crime?
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Write that down! I like that!
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I've since taken on Dennis as a client.
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Dennis doesn't give a shit. Right?
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Hi. When is somebody gonna tell me what my part is?
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We'll call you when we're ready for makeup. I know, but...
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- Dennis just got a part in the movie. - Sweet, dude. Bump it.
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So you hit a brick wall, huh? Yeah. Uh...
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[Charlie] Let's have a meeting and some A. C., man. Leave it to me.
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♪♪ [Dramatic] Imagine a super ripped,
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Yeah! That's confusing, dude.
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who, after a terrible accident in his lab, blows off his nose!
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Possibly also runs around like a hound. No! He doesn't run...
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Now in terms of the story, uh, clearly it's brilliant. It's amazing.
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No, Mac. See, you're dead wrong on that. You're dead wrong.
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he's back at the lab performing outrageous sexual experiments...
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All the hits. All the big ones. All the good ones.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 28
until the movie just sort of ends.
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going into this young girl that you're talking about.
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If I could type more better, then I think it would come out faster.
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Check out this one over here. Does he look Indian to you?
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- Where are your parents from? - Jersey.
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Well, they're right next to each other, both countries.
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Well, I'm okay, but I feel like maybe they used a little too much blood.
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Wow. I could barely tell that was you.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 38
Everybody focus. Get down now.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 39
- Face down. - That's what I thought. All right. Energy. Energy.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 40
because he's- he's rejecting his life as a savior of all of mankind.
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So that's what we're doing, I guess. It's done. It's on.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 42
Oh, no. I don't write. I'm a big picture kind of guy.
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We hit a wall on the pitch. Uh, what pitch is that, man?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 44
I think it's cool. Cut!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 45
[Mocking] "Back over! Face down on the hot cement!"
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 46
Huh? You. Why are you saying "brains"? What...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 47
If you don't let me answer it and solve my boys' problems, the phone's gonna ring.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 48
Oh, no. Mr. Shyamalan isn't directing this unit. This is a simple pickup shot.
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All right. I'm gonna fix it, hon. Thank you.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 50
Just to be clear, pal. I don't care about any of this.
Aired 9 years ago - Nov 19, 2009

Dennis reveals his foolproof system for seducing any woman to the rest of the gang, but they don't grasp the concept.

Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 1
"I guess we could grab a pizza and watch a movie at my place."
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- And then I say- - Oh. Well, I guess we could eat the pizza on my bed...
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They certainly do. You got that right.
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Have her car towed.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 6
Give her a call and say something along the lines of...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 7
she'll naturally want to take the relationship to the next level.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 8
and this time you're not around to cool him off.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 9
Okay? And she'll start getting really mixed up because you're not there to protect her.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 10
I want to tell you that the reason I was distant is because...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 11
And then, naturally, we bang.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 12
And this is the best bang of all because it's very emotional for her.
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That, my friends, is the key to winning any girl's heart.
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That's exactly right, Charlie. You're really picking up on this. I'm proud of you, bud.
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This is what men do! This is what men do! Yeah!
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You're probably getting D.E.N.N.I.S. 'd right now by that new boyfriend of yours,
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I didn't. I just didn't tell him to do it with the windows down. He's not the smartest, but...
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Hey, guys! Hey- Hey, Dee! I didn't see you there. Are you almost done?
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See you, fellas. Okay. Good. See you, man.
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And there you go. Good to see you. See you soon. Bye.
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and it's got me in a really bad place.
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Uh, yeah. I looked into it. There's no, um, Dr. Toboggan in Philadelphia either.
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those people could get in a lot of trouble.
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What is this "swooping in" business?
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I thought you were just my wing man though. No. No.
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That's right. I come in after Mac. But he's taking forever this time.
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I'm trying to re-D.E.N.N.I.S. This chick. No, you back off!
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This is so exciting. You're gonna love this.
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Okay. All right. I know what's going on. I- I'm on to you, guy.
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I don't need bus fare! I'm not sure the bus comes out here anyway.
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Oh, my God! Are you okay?
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Oh, no! You don't have to call the police. Check it out.
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I would like you to focus on the amount of value that I am demonstrating to you...
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So what's this new job? I work at the fair.
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I don't know. I did everything right, and I can't get past the letter "D," dude.
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- Do you know anything about plumbing? - Uh... no.
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Okay, clearly none of you have any idea how to run my system!
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You will demonstrate your value to the waitress by winning a prize at her booth.
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Mm-hmm. So your only hope is to lower Ben's value.
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I need you to resume your role as the thoughtful roommate and invite Caylee out to the fair.
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What's happening?
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No, it's not. No, it's not. But it's exciting, isn't it?
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Then I guess I'll demonstrate my value to you by firing off a wicked hot fastball, huh?
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- What are you doing here? - This is my nana.
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Well? How does it look?
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Leave us alone. What? What? Just listen to me for one second, okay?
Aired 9 years ago - Nov 12, 2009

Mac and Dennis decide that they need to spend some time away from each other. Meanwhile, Charlie helps Dee search for her cat.

The gang decides to expand their business by developing a number of products that they could sell at Paddy's pub.

Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 1
That's okay, 'cause it's right here.
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- He just did eat it. - All right. I'm talking to a lawyer about this.
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my instinct to steal this idea is very strong.
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Uh, hello, Frank. [Chuckles]
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It's just a jumping-off point. Frank, keeping hard-boiled eggs...
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And he knows it 'cause he turns the picture away from him.
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I was not participating in that conversation, 'cause I don't find her lovely.
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I do charge. Okay? You don't pay.
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Any respect that you're feeling that's coming from me is a mistake on your part.
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had- had dry ink on it for at least many "forknights,"
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But they locked me in a closet.
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One that reflects our take-no-prisoners, rock-and-roll lifestyle.
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What's more sexual than a high-waisted thong riding high up a woman's backside?
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It's a visual stimulant, bro. I'm not wearing these because I'm comfortable.
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But you gotta have functionality with your comedy, okay?
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Oh, that is big! That's a big monster dick.
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We are gonna sell a million of those, dude. We'll do black ones...
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I don't get it? Huh? Open your mouth, bitch. What?
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But I'm working on it. What the hell does she have to do with anything?
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Okay. Okay. Suck on this, bitches.
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Right. Oh, goddamn it, Frank! That's just an egg!
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No, and I don't know why you think we're gonna catch him having an affair.
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The woman in the room right next to him...
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Oh, shit. I see him. He's walking towards the car. He's walking towards the car!
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We were staking you out last night- kinda spying on you. Mm-hmm.
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so you don't have to look at her face?
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And I have to sleep in this fleabag motel.
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God, divorce is tough. The picture sort of coming together for you all?
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Yeah, but a water gun doesn't have the same feel to it, you know?
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and eagles flying through the air and picking up trout out of rivers and shit.
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- What is that? - Paddy's Shotgun, bro!
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I would like to get your number, actually, though at some point.
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Oh, yeah? Well, I'm gonna get a patent for this and sue your balls off.
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Sandy, have a seat right here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Sandy does that. Sandy.
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Well, she's a lady of the night. She's a prostitute.
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[Dee] It's a mess. [Charlie] He's been crying.
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Goddamn shoes. You can't run in 'em.
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I will take care of all of your legal needs...
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And I was gonna do it for you, you son of a b- All right, fine. I won't do it.
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if they agree to sign a contract that grants you...
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- Objection! - This is not a court of law.
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New deal! We are taking that propulsion and putting it in our shotgun!
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So sorry, sir. They duct-taped me to the bathroom sink.
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for a, uh- a Paddy's Pub.
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## [Continues]
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Nudie pen!
Aired 9 years ago - Oct 29, 2009

The gang puts together a wrestling show for returning troops. Meanwhile, Dee finally meets the soldier that she has been communicating with over the internet.

Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 1
[Charlie] Yeah!
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I told them it was for the troops. They gave us a discount.
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- He could show us the ropes. - [Gurgling]
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Oh, you did. No, no, no, no. Let me do you a favor.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 6
I don't know if this is too forward to ask you this,
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 7
Is that it? Reasonable.
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[Frank] Whoa! Yo! Deandra! Yo! Deandra!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 9
I got a whole thing I'm doing here. Can you please get out?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 10
Hey! Desert Rose!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 11
Yeah. Oh, no!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 12
that she wasn't gonna be able to show up here today.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 13
Um, so- All right, well...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 14
Oh. And, uh, the guys...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 15
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No! I don't give a rat's ass about your collection agency,
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 17
and then, uh, I'll come back and rock on.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 18
The most important part of our routine is the entrance.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 19
And then I pick up the trash can...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 20
Hey, I got something for you. I got a character for you.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 21
- Get out of here! - [Dennis] Go take a break. Go take a break.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 22
And maybe we'll do an eagle screech. [Screeches] That'll be great.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 23
And our young. We regurgitate, dude.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 24
It's good. We can meet in the middle though.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 25
Ah, no problem. I've dated a lot of disabled men in my past.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 26
This is what we'll do. I'll just put this... here.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 27
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I thought there was a wheelchair and you were in it.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 30
So move out of the way so I can swoop in.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 31
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Just figure-four leg-locks, pile drivers, body slams. Off the top rope, suplex...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 33
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 34
- Did he kill his kids? Is that what happened? - He just drifted away.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 35
His mania is not confined to the ring. Ahh!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 36
I don't know. I don't know. Oh, my God.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 37
Someone with, you know, nothing to lose, right? Yeah.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 38
I'm not gonna participate in your little games and schemes. [Charlie] Cricket.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 39
Ah! It's wrestling. It's all fake.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 40
They didn't turn out the way that I had envisioned. I'm getting more of a chicken vibe.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 41
Just get away. We're obviously in the middle of something.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 42
Unpaid parking tickets. Unpaid parking tickets?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 43
I love you too, man. I love you t...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 44
We are just battling Cricket. It's just Cricket.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 45
[Announcer] And now the moment you've all been waiting for.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 46
Terrorists rule! A la la la la!
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Drop a beat for us. You ready?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 48
# Ah-ah-ah-ah Don't you mess with his eggs now #
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# Ah-ah-ah-ah But we're also men #
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 50
- Do the routine. - [Mac] Go.
Aired 9 years ago - Oct 22, 2009

The gang describes the trials and tribulations they went through, during game five of the World Series, in hopes the judge will clear them of all the citations they received.

Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 1
♪ Whoomp, there it is Whoomp, there it is ♪.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 2
- Are you kidding me? - Dude, people love that guy. - We love him.
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Whoa. I can't find the tickets.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 4
- We'll go get the tickets. - All right. Let's move, man.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 5
Flyin' Hawaiian. Flyin' Hawaiian.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 6
Jesus Christ. Well, now what are we gonna do?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 7
[All Coughing] Oh, God!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 8
I absolutely have the upper body strength to accomplish that.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 9
There's no way they're gonna. That's poisonous gas, dude. You can't breathe that.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 10
Stop. Stop, stop, stop.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 11
So they got a tunnel for that? Wow. Don't you think there's gonna be security there too?
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How is that terrible? Because it involves me getting hit by a car.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 13
I don't want to do any more, dude. I could die.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 14
Rich seats. Oh. Ooh. This guy right here. This is a good one.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 15
Jump out in front of this guy. I'm fine. This guy's good.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 16
Yeah, that's true. We didn't get the tickets.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 17
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- Is it the grip? Is the grip the problem? - Hey, you guys.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 19
[Groans] Okay. How is it?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 20
Yeah, I've been thinking about it. Ryan Howard, right?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 21
Why are you pushing Chase Utley on me? It's starting to get weird.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 22
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Pal around and- Yeah, read it!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 24
"It would be great to have a catch.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 25
I know you have not been getting my letters because I know you would write back if you did."
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 26
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 27
Okay. Okay. [Laughing]
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 28
- The hose is gone. Oh, God. - Oh, shit.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 29
Where are the tickets? Leave me here to die!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 30
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 31
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Yeah, I know. You got creamed, but check it out.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 33
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Man to man, mascot to mascot,
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 35
All right. I'll give you...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 36
♪ And this mother party hype ♪ Yeah!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 37
Yo, Dennis! Yo, bud! Where you going, dude? Ow!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 38
It's impossible to get into that stadium. Trust me. Take my word for it.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 39
to scale the facade of Citizens Bank- you just don't.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 40
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- Stop it! - All right.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 42
- Oh, no! You saw it! She saw it! - I need this story...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 43
[Mac] Why did you hammer my nose, bro?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 44
You getting hammered by Philly fans is reminding me of something.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 45
It's starting. You hear that shit? I hear it.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 46
These two ladies are in the middle of a terrible fight right now.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 47
I might just go up to the hotel bar and watch it up there, then join the riot afterwards.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 48
Yeah. They want you to think it's a linen closet, Frank!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 49
What do you mean, it's locked? It's locked!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 50
[Frank] It's dark as hell in here. [Dee] I can't see anything.
Aired 9 years ago - Oct 15, 2009

The waitress is getting married, Dee is jealous that she's beating her to the altar, so she tries to derail the wedding.

Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 1
Yeah. I figure if we keep the hive in the basement, we'll always have honey.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 2
[Buzzing] No. Wasps do not make honey.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 3
- Mmm. - [Screaming] Shit!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 4
Ohh. Who was that?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 5
Weird. We'll get into that later.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 6
All you care about is the fact the waitress is getting married before you. Right?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 7
And C: Get this. The guy she's marrying used to be my boyfriend.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 8
- Get him his own booty call. - Ohh!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 9
[Door Opens] Hey-oh!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 10
I just don't think there's any science to support that, buddy.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 11
Sure, right. Uh, yeah, totally.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 12
Ahh. So, do you have the makeup?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 13
Why would you want a checkered hat and a pipe?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 14
Yeah, I can see where this is going.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 15
Just put steak. Just put regular steak. And then- I'm gonna put steak.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 16
- All right, what are some of your likes? - Uh, ghouls.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 17
We'll make it up. We'll make the whole thing up. Let's get out of here!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 18
Bingo, bitch.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 19
how your wedding was gonna be all poor or boring or dull or whatever it was you were...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 20
I kinda would like to meet some of your friends.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 21
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But whatever, that's good. Bring that up when Brad's here.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 24
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Yup. I really didn't want to come, but Brad insisted.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 26
Brad, did you know about her unfortunate problems with drugs and alcohol?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 27
You're absolutely right. I'm confusing you with another pathetic drunk that I know.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 28
## [Continues]
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 29
I don't remember the backstory. All right, listen, man. You're a philanthropist.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 30
[Together] Philanthropist! Meet us in the bathroom.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 31
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Okay, question number one.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 33
Huh! Wow. You are very forgettable.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 34
How many people in the room have had sex with the bride-to-be?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 35
They have a sex tape together. This guy came along- No.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 36
Wait, no. No, no, no, no, Brad. No, don't leave yet. I'm sorry.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 37
Wonderful! Get out of here!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 38
I forgot to tell you...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 39
Are you Charlie Kelly? Yeah. Yeah, I am. Yeah.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 40
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I'm a full-on rapist, you know?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 42
I help- I help people. You know what I mean? I'm...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 43
Oh, God, dude! I'm sucking ass!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 44
Are you listening to yourself? Jesus Christ!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 45
Go back out there. Start asking her questions about herself.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 46
Just go. Just get out there. Just go. Yeah.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 47
Hi. Uh, I'm the manager. And Mr. Kelly is one of our preferred customers.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 48
Hey, I own this joint. And I know this guy. And he is loaded.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 49
- What are you doing? - I'm leaving!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 50
Well, guess what, bro. The waitress is getting married. So suck on that!
Aired 9 years ago - Oct 08, 2009

Frank's behavior is more bizarre than usual---so bizarre that even the gang notice---so they decide to stage an intervention.

Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 1
And that's what we did. Yeah. We'd throw her in the dryer.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 2
What kind of a person salts another human being? It's terrible.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 3
Jealous? I'm a woman now. I'm not a virgin anymore.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 4
everyone would be like, "What?"
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 5
My God. There's not enough salt in the world for her.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 6
I think you and me ought to bang.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 7
really stick it to 'em, if you and me plowed?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 8
She may have mentioned...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 9
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 10
for taking the initiative to help Frank.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 11
Drugs and alcohol are rolled into what we're talking about here...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 12
Oh, no. Don't do that to yourself. You're plenty of fun to drink with.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 13
Mm-mmm. Too soft.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 14
Have the gun out and ready to rock when he comes in.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 15
Bring a gun. I don't wanna get shot, so just bring a gun, will you?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 16
and you're drinking wine out of a soda can.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 17
You know what I'm feeling? I'm feeling like you've lost control of the room here.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 18
No, but don't beat her while she's down.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 19
I'm sorry. I'm a little, uh, lit.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 20
Gail the Snail? Dude, what's more depraved than that, huh?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 21
Don't worry about what's in it for me, dude.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 22
Mm. Charlie.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 23
Okay, uh, I guess my letter would be about...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 24
when was the last time we played Night Crawlers together, Frank?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 25
I gotta know what that is. It's- It's no big deal.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 26
This is not about you, so I'd like for you...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 27
The yelling and pointing and accusing and saying that he's trapped and surrounded...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 28
Well, that's for sure. Oh, no. Well, guys, maybe we're not doing the right thing.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 29
The pamphlets I grabbed from the office. Oh, okay.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 30
What does that word even mean? Come on.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 31
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Yeah, that's right, bitch. But that's what you wanted anyway, right?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 33
Oh, no. We did a bunch of those Monster Energy drinks and dry humped. It was awful.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 34
Kick, yes. Kick in, no.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 35
I haven't any idea, honestly. I'm giving Frank a handy under the table.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 36
You're not supposed to be fondling your uncle under a table.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 37
Why are you doing this to me? Why can't you just let me be happy?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 38
Oh, okay. I get it. So Frank sits there,
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 39
- - We really appreciate this. We really appreciate it.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 40
could you help us pop a quick intervention on Charlie for his illiteracy?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 41
and he had to come down immediately.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 42
all mistakes we've made on our own, so it's good that you're here.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 43
- That's enough! That's enough! - We told you there was gonna be a gun.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 44
fire up this spliff.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 45
And your addiction has affected us in the following ways.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 46
Intervention! Intervention! Is nothing private, Frank?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 47
Me and Mac are together.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 48
No, don't! Oh, my God.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 49
Well, she was alive at the time.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 50
Let's cool it with the intervention stuff for a second...
Aired 9 years ago - Oct 01, 2009

With a shantytown taking shape outside, Mac and Dennis try to keep Paddy's going in tough times. Meanwhile, Frank and Dee start a family business.

Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 1
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Oh, I'm squeezed out? Uh-huh.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 3
Well, first we're gonna give you the opportunity to defend your jobs.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 4
Me? Come on! I do a shitload!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 5
But the mountains, they've turned blue. Mojito me, please.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 6
Okay, boys, let's talk rat traps, okay?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 7
What part of "I am broke" don't you guys understand?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 8
Huh. You are really good at making money. Okay, I'm in.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 9
All right, that's the rainwater barrels.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 10
This bar is totally green that way.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 11
or I could burn it up and get a nice, smoky smell in here...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 12
I always make sure to turn on the Coors sign,
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 13
Closed! It says "closed," Charlie!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 14
Yeah. Yeah. No way!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 15
and not turn the closed sign on when the bar is open!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 16
Frank and I are starting a business.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 17
There's no room at the inn. You kidding me, dude? You kidding me?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 18
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You don't have to lock the door. You don't have to add insult to injury. I'm gonna be fine.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 20
Wait. No, no, no- Oh- Aw, come on, man!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 21
to invest in a door-to-door knife and vacuum-selling business?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 22
All right, this baby is powerful!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 23
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Yeah. That's good merlot. You're gonna want to keep those coming.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 25
I did bring you here for a specific reason, okay? Hmm?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 26
I don't know. Video games? Video games are definitely a big part of it.
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Yeah, 'cause I've actually been with you on many of those occasions where you've tried.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 28
That gives you incentive to come back to Dave & Buster's...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 29
All right. I'm- I'm getting all worked up. Okay? This is- Let's...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 30
That's exactly right, and that stimulates our own internal economy.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 31
with the economy and everything.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 32
Hey, Charlie. Times are tough.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 33
You can share the room with me, Charlie.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 34
- We'll share the room, Charlie. - I don't want to share the room with you, dude, because I...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 35
Hey, I'll call you later. I know you will.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 36
grab the wet vac, and then call it a deal, whatever. Zing-o.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 37
Actually, I'm vegan. Okay.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 38
This knife is a piece of crap. Mm-hmm.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 39
Uh-huh. Owww!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 40
Okay. All right. I'll just get my bag. Okay.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 41
Oh, shoot! Oh!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 42
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See, by transferring all of our cash into these Paddy's Dollars...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 44
There could be some real opportunity in this.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 45
That way- Right. They buy the booze from us with the dollars.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 46
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You've tried to off yourself two times in the last 24 hours, Frank!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 48
It's Charlie? Hey, Charlie!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 49
- Feast your eyes. - Here we go!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 50
Yeah, there's a pretty bad sewage runoff, but, you know, crabs is sewage-proof!
Aired 9 years ago - Sep 24, 2009

The gang tries to expand their horizons by going on a road trip to the Grand Canyon.

Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 1
He's taking up the whole goddamn road.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 2
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 3
- That is not how I expected that to go at all. - Is he okay?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 4
All right, get back to the bar. Get back to the bar.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 5
Oh, right, Frank. We're gonna go to the Grand Canyon on spare tires.
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Oh, yeah. We got easy access to the beers too.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 8
You jerks! Hey! Hey! Ah, here we go.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 9
Why don't you put the cooler in the trailer?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 10
Why don't I put you in the trailer? Good one, Charlie.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 11
This sucks! Deandra, pull over. This is terrible.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 12
Yeah. Well, maybe we crack that door a little bit.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 13
- Provolone and salami. - They sell everything at the Italian market.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 14
Uh- There we go.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 15
You guys want to listen to some tunes? Got some CDs from Dennis here.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 16
You're cheap! Why did you buy this crappy little car in the first place?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 17
Are you going to yell the whole way there, Dee? Jesus Christ.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 18
I'm trying to give it- Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme,
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 19
Yeah. Quickly.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 20
Oh, I don't have a bucket list, dude, 'cause I'm not dying.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 21
Oh, Charlie, I'm excited for you, bro.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 22
Hey, yeah! Nice, man.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 23
Oh, that- that pear's not ripe, dude.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 24
The whole thing? Yeah. It was pretty gross.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 25
I like the rocking chair. Very nice.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 26
We're not gonna barter with him. We're not bartering. We'll pay full price.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 27
I don't think so, asshole. Sir, the man will pay full price for the French press,
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 28
I know what I'm doing. I'm buying you a piss jar. Ooh!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 29
and I totally talked the guy down to, like, half the asking price.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 30
No, I don't like it in there anyway. All right.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 31
I know, but you stopped at the grill, and that's got me confused.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 32
I've just never been outside of Philly. I don't know what people are like.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 33
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Fine. Uh, go. Maine.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 35
I got an idea.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 36
Bro, I gotta cook up some hot dogs, man. All right.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 37
Okay. You think we're gonna be going to a lot of those?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 38
Let's burn the chairs. All right. A couple hot dogs will calm me down.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 39
Oh, my God. You're running away from home, aren't you?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 40
Oh, man, kid.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 41
# Just easier than dealin' with the pain #
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 42
# Seems like I'm neither here nor there #
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 43
Is that piss? Is that piss?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 44
Hey, what the hell is that?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 45
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Yeah, we're close. I use this gas station all the time.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 47
Yeah, it's pretty bad. I'm in. Me too.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 48
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the ones that lure you into thinking they're sane by acting like normal people.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 50
- And that's why you're all safe as long as I'm around. - Uh-huh.
Aired 9 years ago - Sep 17, 2009

Dennis, Mac, and Frank go into real estate, while Dee sets out to be a surrogate for a wealthy couple. Charlie gets into it with an attorney over the law.

Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 1
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Yeah. We thought we'd just try to find a surrogate by ourselves.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 3
Um, any- any family history of mental illness?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 4
Wow.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 5
I like the sound of that. I'm gonna throw something at you guys, so brace yourselves.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 6
I've typed up a price sheet I would like the two of you to peruse.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 7
But- This is great.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 8
They didn't do that here. This is a pretty nice house. A little lived in maybe.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 9
What do you mean your house? I bought this house! We own this house!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 10
Frank, take it easy, bud. Take it- You gotta use your head now.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 11
I don't even know what the hell he's talking about. It doesn't matter.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 12
Dennis, in that scenario, we'd have to kill the kids 'cause they would've seen our faces.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 13
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Well, thank you. It's always felt a little empty without a family.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 15
Oh, I used to be so good at those. You mind if I get in?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 16
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And that's it. No reason to be animals about it. And they changed the locks.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 18
Man. I gotta admit, that's, uh...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 19
My door, deadbeat! My door!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 20
Until then, you can't touch them. That's bull bird, man.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 21
Actually, they're pretty simple.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 22
I'd advise that you do that.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 23
Okay. Well- Filibuster.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 24
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We won't be able to get a dime for it.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 26
Absolutely. I'm thinking we do like a classic good Realtor-bad Realtor dynamic.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 27
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- What do you see? - I see two trannies shooting at each other.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 29
I don't have to explain everything to you about what I know!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 30
They have a huge house, kick-ass pool.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 31
And then we can go swim in Deandra's pool.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 32
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Do that for me, okay, baby boy?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 34
- Hi! How are ya? - How you doing? We're here to look at the house.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 35
Good. All right. This is the living room. Okay! Wonderful.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 36
Oh, I'm sorry. Is she used to something smaller, and you don't think she can handle it?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 37
It's just his passion for quality real estate that makes him so intense.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 38
That's it. There we go. That's all I wanted to hear. Congratulations, folks.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 39
She said, "Yes, I will buy this house." That is a binding verbal contract.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 40
Let's get another house, flip it over, make some cash.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 41
[Chuckling] Honey and Vinegar?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 42
Oh, my God. I do not have time for you.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 43
Do you want time to think it over? No!
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 44
I like to keep it loaded because you never know who's gonna walk into a law office these days.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 45
and I will respectfully decline the duel.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 46
- Don't do it. - And, uh, don't worry...
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 47
Hey, Deandra? Can we talk to you for a sec?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 48
Whoo! Thank God there wasn't a baby in there, huh?
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 49
Wait, wait. Don't do that. We're the wealthy homosexual couple she promised her womb to.
Recap of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 50
What the hell are you guys doing here? Do not ruin this for me!