Status
Ended
Network
NBC
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 9

Aired 14 years ago - Mar 17, 2010

The med students of Winston University finally find something to be thankful for when Cole identifies his true calling in surgery, Drew finds the love of his life, and Lucy finds the inspiration to become a doctor.

Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 1
Could be a poem or a lightly choreographed dance number.
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Test results came back clean. Your cancer's gone.
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Well, I was thinking that maybe I got cancer for a reason.
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It's boring and it sucks.
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Last Halloween, I was a slutty ninja.
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- You're happy, aren't you? - I don't know about happy,
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This is a receipt for a pair of pants.
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Cole, you're all up under me. You need to back up, all right?
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Man, you gotta knock before you enter Cole's brain.
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until he figured out that the penis wasn't actually one of them and quit.
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I get it. Like episodes of Entourage that revolve around Turtle.
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- You think you can handle it? - I'll stay here as long as it takes.
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Yeah, I heard about that.
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I mean, it'd be kind of like we're living together, you know?
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because I'd done a bunch of research about Ben's life,
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Uh... No. Can other people see that?
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in South Carolina's third most popular vacation destination?
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a den I hangout I place where we have dirty sex
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I don't like this at all. I like things clean and simple.
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Cole, I totally forgot about you. Have you been standing here all day?
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Didn't I say that he has what it takes to be a surgeon?
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That's awe-inspiring stuff.
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and remove the fortune from this cookie without breaking it.
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And out of nowhere, there could come a noise
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Maybe they're super-smart government bears on their way to fight terrorism.
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All you had to do was write one measly, little line about Ben,
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Sadly, that's not a metaphor.
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Fine. I'll do it myself.
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I put this in so we can maintain our separate zones.
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...while others have no problem telling you exactly what's on their mind.
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And I just wanted to know if there's anything you wanted us to include.
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Over the next 20 minutes,
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I found a photo from when he rolled that perfect game on June 16, 1976.
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A British tabloid?
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I guess starting tomorrow I'll be shadowing you again.
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Fair enough. I've come to clear up a point of confusion.
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It's a series of erotic novelty wines.
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Actually, he hasn't. He's still practicing.
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Okay, so young Cole may not be an ideal protege.
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And now, of course, I have young Drew.
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who deserves and who wants our help. That's it.
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so that you can just dive in and follow your heart?
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Ben, I am very upset with you. You tricked me.
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so they look like raisins, nature's saddest fruit, all shriveled and dry.
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I'm yelling at Ben because I made this really beautiful tribute for him,
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You have to learn to adjust
Aired 14 years ago - Mar 10, 2010

When Cole and Kelso both get negative results back after a few routine tests, they learn the hard way to put their egos in check in order to rein in the support of their so-called friends.

Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 1
I really appreciate you taking time to check me out.
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in the last couple months?
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Having him move my car, I'll have you know,
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I'm in charge of you, and by the transitive property,
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I can do whatever I want, and you just have to stand and nod
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Dr. Turk, I've got scurvy and rickets.
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Well, actually, the mole on your chest is something we need to check out.
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How'd you know it was gonna be malignant?
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Hey, that kind of cancer is for uglies
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So, just fill my prescription for blue steel and I'll be on my way.
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Hey, what's up? Nothing. I was just about to grab some yogurt.
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- Hello. - Number One,
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- Yeah, is that all right? - No, yeah, that's fine. Go.
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We got him from a Navajo rescue center.
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Yeah.
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He's been generous enough to let us use his case as a teaching tool.
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- That doesn't even make any sense. - You don't make sense.
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Hitching rides with students was not working out.
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she can pick up the scent of glitter
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I'm gonna go get another one. I'll be back in five minutes, okay?
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taking pictures of puffins, whatever the hell those are.
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All right, I guess it's cool if they come.
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I'm sorry. Denise was going through something.
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This one thinks that just because you're having emotionless intercourse,
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for the steely caress of your cold robot pincers.
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It's already been 10 minutes, what's 15 more?
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It's got to be pretty hard on you.
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You know what, Bob? Find your own way home.
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Oh.
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he shows me his abs and says, "Ask them."
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Med student, but, like, 900 years old?
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you can feel surprisingly abandoned.
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I went to the campus store and got some things to cheer you up.
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because you are gonna hoot, hoot, hoot...
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Okay, I don't care about stuff that's already happened.
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What's crazy is thinking that you could cheer me up.
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Come on, Lucy! Judge Mathis?
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And since, according to you, we're not real friends,
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Dr. Kelso?
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I'll tell you what'll make you feel better.
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You two are my closest relationships in this place.
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and it's like I'm teaching Yasir Arafat.
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Remember when you gave Maya that two-page list of careers
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Sorry your mom couldn't make it. She's a hell of a woman.
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So, where are your friends?
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Aired 14 years ago - Jan 26, 2010

Lucy takes her new assignment as hell week "team leader" a bit too seriously, and Dr. Turk feels threatened when an internationally renowned surgeon pays a visit.

Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 1
All right, why does this always have to fall on me? I don't have the plan.
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about doctoring in the Third World called Rebel Without a Co-Pay.
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he raises millions for the hospital.
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- where status is everything. - It's not everything.
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Hey.
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Doctor Cox, your patient in three is septic.
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I don't want to be a leader. I just want to be a good doctor.
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Why don't you go and Russell up your own case?
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Here are the case histories for your group projects.
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mind-numbing incompetence and petty emotional problems.
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on becoming the amazing doctor I know you can be.
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That's Swahili for "Hello" or "Good morning."
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It's just that Russell ticks me off, you know?
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it's going to be a dude who could breathe underwater or Serena Williams.
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- Hey, there, you. - Afternoon, good sir.
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and I once made love with tennis great Pete Sampras.
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Lucy, this is a waste of time. I'm taking over the group.
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and I felt it happening again.
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Ha, ha, ha!
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- Hey, there, again. - Hey, how's it going.
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silence plays a crucial part of a couple's search
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- May I? - Dude. You...
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I come up on the weekends when I feel like bringing the hurt.
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Best girl fight I've seen since I paid those two lady janitors to wrestle.
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That was a real Maasai warrior dance. You got moves like that?
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- Beatbox, son! - I guess I can try.
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No, keep it going! Keep it going! One leg. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
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- Russell. Who's named Russell? - A ton of people.
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Whether it's being bested by a rival...
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Look, after months of self-doubt, I have finally found my role here.
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Couldn't you just come back? Please. We need you. I need you.
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What? You don't need to worry about us, buddy boy.
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Yes, yes, I picked you to help me with Irene's surgery.
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I mean, if you just open up your eyes and let me in, Turk. Let me in.
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You. Now, just exactly what in the hell were you doing in there? Come on.
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In fact, I'm the king of the parasites.
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Son, you're a leader.
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Yeah. I've seen your work. Very impressive.
Aired 14 years ago - Jan 19, 2010

A case of guilty conscience plagues the med school when a student cheats on an exam and Dr. Cox takes it out on the entire class. Meanwhile, Denise makes a startling admission of her own.

Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 1
Strawberry frosting? Nice.
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I'm gonna just assume that was the frosting talking
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Hello, again. Yeah, you know what?
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Perry, I thought we agreed you wouldn't page me during lunch
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All right, then. Books down, murderers.
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You can't call shotgun on a person.
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- I said I've got it from here, Todd. - Okay.
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that I can maintain a certain level of calm
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I'm so sorry, it's really hard to get her off the phone.
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I'm guessing the latter.
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that makes staying in here really horrible for me?
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Are you uncomfortable around lesbians?
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We're going on vacation next week to lbiza with a bunch of our girlfriends.
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Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking about my family vacation to Ohio.
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Damn, Trang, you are impervious to pain.
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Shea butter and big, floppy sun hats.
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Yes. Me telling you I love you makes me a 19th-century dandy.
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Doing my test prep, okay?
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We'll just treat her with steroids, then.
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Hey, forget this, man. What about you?
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Yeah, but then if it doesn't work out, I'll have to kill him,
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Hey, you never told us why you were in the bathroom.
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- That's not how it works, genius. - Why are you lying, Drew?
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You always put yourself at risk
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Yes, there is, but with your preexisting conditions, surgery could prove fatal.
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Oh! I get it. Her face is busted, right?
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That's a magic land where the rivers run of scotch
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No! No, and I wouldn't call it a cult.
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Please, tell me you've got some good news for me on this godforsaken day.
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I knew one day that example would make sense.
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If only there was a way to learn more about her.
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This is Denise. Leave a message after the stupid beep.
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Boom. Twist.
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Is this why you don't want to take steroids?
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That's the word I was looking for. "Partner."
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And because this is so noble, I'm gonna walk out in dramatic slo-mo.
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I wanted a win.
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That's one of Carla's girlfriends.
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Look at those two right there.
Aired 14 years ago - Jan 12, 2010

The reality of having a baby begins to settle in for both J.D. and Elliot while Lucy struggles with the reality of operating on people.

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Do you think it's okay if we skip tonight?
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- Well, I've not pooped in a week. - Ah!
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probably a sunrise or a hilarious e-card,
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You two, come on, now. Nobody wins at cancer.
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It's behind me, isn't it?
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- He died. She got nothing. - Burt died?
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giving it away to any guy that would buy her a free steak.
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No, no, Todd, neither one of us is going to be having sex.
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All right? You're not gonna have sex for a long, long, long, long time.
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- She'll have the baby to cuddle with. - That little bastard.
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with Elliot after the baby came,
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Yep. Nothing like a girl with a little junk in the front.
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You've had a few too many.
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Hey, just babymoon it, dude.
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- we haven't really connected yet. - No.
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- Okay, that sounded weird. - You know what else is weird,
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My wife is making me do a will,
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but there is no way that succubus is gonna get my recliner after I die.
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You're not crying, are you?
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Med students are told to keep a cadaver's face covered
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Lucy, we're friends. It would be an honor.
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Like a plant, so that it'll, you know, grow.
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You didn't see me, all right? I wasn't here.
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right before your baby comes out of your special area.
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We'll be like gods controlling the weather.
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Jordan, I can't sign a will right now. As usual, please don't call me back.
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Or a tiny exam that's a whopping 25% of your final grade.
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I'm sorry, Dr. Turk, I can't do this.
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You probably already picked out
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J.D., I know that some couples
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Okay, I don't have time for this.
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I want you to meet me in the O.R. In an hour.
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I mean, around here, you just can't let your work
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- Fine. I'm gonna tell him you said that. - No! No! No!
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I do. I love the attention.
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If Barbie will not listen to what's good for her,
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Let me tell you about my friend, Jake.
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So, why are we going to be looking into your friend's guts?
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This is just some dude with appendicitis.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 45
You know, you always think you're gonna have just a little more time.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 46
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 47
but you couldn't hear because you're married to him.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 48
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 49
Look, you know this is what I do before big, life-changing events.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 50
and I didn't mean to ruin the babymoon.
Aired 14 years ago - Jan 05, 2010

Lucy finds couplings, dysfunctional or not, throughout the hospital

Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 1
Yeah, this makes sense.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 2
He and Eriq La Salle still go to the same church.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 3
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 4
until eventually the disease renders you helpless
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 5
Our presentation is at 7:00 a.m.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 6
Yeah, and he's always making light of my family
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 7
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 8
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 9
That ain't right.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 10
Hiya.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 11
like an old couple cruising the sad folks' home.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 12
- Oh, a big turkey leg. - And a pie. A lemon pie.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 13
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 14
No, come on, please. He listens to you.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 15
Look at you guys. Chief of Medicine, Chief of Surgery.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 16
with one thing in particular. Dr. Turk, do you have anything to add?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 17
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Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 19
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it's gonna show the best way for me to handle it is surgically.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 21
Let's handle this like men.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 22
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- Yeah, I mean, the kicking, the insults. - Skipping maintenance checks.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 24
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 25
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 26
I hear Rebecca B. Has sex with multiple partners. What?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 27
And since the only thing I hate more than entitled little pukes
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 28
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 29
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 30
Okay. Okay, just give me a second to talk to Dr. Cox, all right?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 31
No. I'm right and you're wrong, and you damn sure are doing it
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 32
Okay, hopefully all that stuff with Cole and Drew has just blown over
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 33
Can we finally talk about the fact that you and Cole are sleeping together?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 34
No can do. I gotta take a walk to clear my head,
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 35
- What? - We are never going to learn anything
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 36
I need you to go find out who has the cart.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 37
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 38
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 39
Oh, you know what's embarrassing? That you're ashamed to be with me.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 40
Okay, you're wishy-washy, you're obsessed with horses,
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 41
I did it because I'm proud that a girl like you
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 42
I don't have the core muscles to ride that bitch.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 43
I'm sorry, cart. I'm sorry I scuff you up, I'm sorry I take you for granted,
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 44
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 45
- He's a great listener. - Why?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 46
Just my first thought. I'm still working out the rest.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 47
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 48
- You like him, you crazy white girl. - But it's Cole.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 49
- Absolutely. - Right.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 50
Came to get your licks in, huh? I get it. I damn sure deserve it.
Aired 14 years ago - Jan 05, 2010

Before receiving their white coats, the med students of Winston University must figure out why they want to be doctors, and Denise gets a little relationship help from Elliot.

Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 1
Well, there's really only one question.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 2
to drum you out of this med school.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 3
Once again, it's you versus me.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 4
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 5
They say it's actually a lot like giving birth.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 6
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 7
Brother speaks French! That's a bromance language, y'all!
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 8
- How do you know? - Trust me, I know.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 9
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Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 11
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watching old White Coat speeches, cherry-picking the best parts for mine.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 14
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- Dude, we are exactly the same. - We are not the same.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 16
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 17
Dr. Cox.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 18
Boo!
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 19
to accommodate all major underachievers...
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 20
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- You have a sec? - Yeah. What do you want to do?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 23
- I know... ...just what to do.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 24
Denise, like it or not, you're in a relationship.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 25
So, to make Drew happy I have to start wearing tutus and prom dresses?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 26
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 27
Why do you want to be a doctor?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 28
Oh, hey, wait, I want to talk to you. Your academic record is impeccable,
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 29
Who knows why we do the things we do?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 30
I don't want to be the keynote speaker, but thanks.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 31
- Something with Drew. - And a cat?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 32
Hey! I have something to say. I don't need to be keynote speaker!
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 33
- Something people said in the '90s. - Cool people?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 34
How could this be any worse?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 35
- I don't even want to think about it. - What the hell is wrong with Cole?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 36
- Come with me. - I'm with a patient.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 37
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 38
In my head it wasn't God, it was a genie.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 39
Look, there's Lucy. Hey, Lucy.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 40
"You ask me if I have a God complex. I am God!" Boom! We're in.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 41
- Why am I scrubbing in again? - The OR's a safe place.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 42
The psychologist called it "an unbalanced act,"
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 43
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 44
because you're worried you're becoming that guy again?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 45
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 46
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 47
Then maybe you should stop looking for the perfect answer
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 48
I was so focused on the abdomen that I blew the cosmesis of the incision.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 49
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 50
What? No. I mean, I guess I'd like to see you like that sometime,
Aired 14 years ago - Jan 01, 2010

While Turk struggles to find a replacement best friend, Elliott offers some sound advice and guidance to an over-worked and exhausted Lucy.

Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 1
Oh, my God.
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Now then, today we will be looking at patients with pancreatic disorders.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 3
- Bunch of crap to do. You cool here? - No, just a second. You're leaving?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 4
But for reals, I gotta split.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 5
Number One, remind me again why I can't kill him.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 6
Okay, class, I want to thank Miss Bennett
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 7
- Now, that's not a lung. - Dr. Turk, please...
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 8
Let's see what's next. Oh, she's back! Back in action!
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 9
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 10
You all right?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 11
Who?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 12
- Who? - Childhood friend.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 13
Maybe my problem is that I've been trying to do too much.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 14
That's you. A dumb, quiet shadow.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 15
She went toe-to-toe with Dr. Cox.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 16
J.D., what's wrong? Yes, sweetie. Turk misses you, too.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 17
Oh, yeah. Much better. Take that.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 18
but also, so skinny.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 19
All right, class, we're looking for evidence of disease or abnormality.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 20
Denise, could you please handle this? I've had a really bad day.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 21
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 22
Grades, participation, grunt work. Everyone sees it.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 23
What's with the lame writing on your ass? Is that, like, a surgeon thing?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 24
- Where? Did he wear his pants? - Sucker. I lied. I love them.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 25
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 26
We need to get you a new work buddy, like, today.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 27
You're totally the kind of doctor I want to be when I get super-old.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 28
my sister Maureen is freaking out about her bachelorette party.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 29
and I just pictured you as my little sister and I'm starting to lose it.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 30
and there's bound to be some barking, right?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 31
If my dad reads I'm at the bottom, he might lose it and cut me off.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 32
Look, I can't just move you up in the rankings based on nothing.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 33
So, did he buy the whole newsletter-rankings nonsense?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 34
I'm sorry. Did you just say "physically"?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 35
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 36
How you doing, Kate?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 37
Sometimes it's a replacement for the irreplaceable...
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 38
Work sucks.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 39
- Oh, isn't it terrible? - Awful.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 40
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 41
So, I said to the lady,
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 42
to help me out with the sisters. Get my swirl on.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 43
Hey. You came here with me. Why are you talking to her?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 44
Volunteering at physical therapy. I'm stretching Mr. Biegel's hamstring.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 45
were you referring to Richard Belzer's beloved detective character
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 46
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 47
- No filter, huh? - Nope.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 48
Hey, Dr. Cox. I just finished cleaning that guy's foot ulcer.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 49
I want you to do a manual rectal disimpactation.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 50
Aired 14 years ago - Dec 22, 2009

J.D. still clamors for Dr. Turk's approval as he approaches his final day of teaching at Sacred Heart, Lucy searches within herself for the courage to perform a basic medical procedure on a real human, and Denise and Drew make things official.

Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 1
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Yeah, and tell them Dr. D sent you. You'll get a little extra whip.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 3
- I'm gonna need a minute. - Turk, no.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 4
Dynamite work. But here's the thing there.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 5
Some people go on retreats. I flick the dead.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 6
I still remember my one line. "No, thank you. I don't like soup."
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 7
I don't know how, but that knocked the wind out of me.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 8
"Mesmerizing," "Hilarious,"
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 9
You cannot get under my skin today. Not with reviews like these.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 10
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 11
Tell me a hundred times.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 12
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 13
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 14
Dude, I hope you paged me 'cause you came to your senses
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 15
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 16
All right, I'm in, but you're buying me a magnifying glass.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 17
It's too late. If she talks to me, shoot me.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 18
- I guess. - Yes!
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 19
Mmm. Sorry, baby. No can do. Doc says I got tiny baby veins.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 20
He's dealt with worse. He came to this country on a boat made of tires.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 21
trying to solve The Mystery of the Feelings Hurter.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 22
It just sounded cooler. We're in.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 23
- Hey! So, what's the plan for tonight? - Drew doesn't want to go.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 24
is not even wearing the pants in her very own relationship.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 25
And make no mistake about it. Early victories are huge.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 26
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 27
Damn, why didn't I get one of those for me?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 28
Well, come in or shut the door. You're letting all the funk out.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 29
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 30
I can't do it. I'm never gonna be able to do it.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 31
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I can't get with a gal in the same bed I shared with Enid.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 33
I know you don't give a damn about what students think,
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 34
Just lure them there with something young people like,
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 35
It's just that I'm working a case right now,
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 36
Thank you.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 37
So who gave Dr. Dorian a negative review?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 38
Jeremy. Of course I suspected you.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 39
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 40
Perry?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 41
but maybe I wanted you to see just how ridiculous you truly are,
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 42
sooner or later you gotta let go of their hands.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 43
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 44
I told them they couldn't sit with us.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 45
Why are you acting like we're in some big, serious relationship?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 46
You know what? I'm into it if you are.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 47
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 48
That vein didn't stand a chance. I owned that bitch.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 49
- and I will take some blood. - What are you doing?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 50
Aired 14 years ago - Dec 15, 2009

While their wives are out of town, J.D. and Turk attend a med student's party; Kelso says goodbye to Ted and Gooch.

Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 1
Because you're their faculty student advisor.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 2
- Yeah, you guys coming to my party? - Yes.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 3
I've spent the last three weekends finishing up community service.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 4
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 5
But the Gooch and I are gonna take some time off and tour the country.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 6
To Alabama
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 7
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 8
I'm making quesadillas.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 9
He just fell from the ceiling. We're not gonna address that?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 10
Sixties? Seventies? Eighties? Nineties? The future?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 11
I am getting so much better at making friends.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 12
Tonight we're trying a little exercise in team building.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 13
Now hold my pepper jack, please.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 14
So you get to gargle. Gargle, gargle.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 15
But let me make this very clear, no one leaves until you're all done.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 16
In the great state of Wyoming
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 17
It's okay. I didn't always treat Teddy very well.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 18
I killed the cowboy then took his chaps. I'm also a sheriff.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 19
Maybe no one'll notice. Let's just try and blend in.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 20
Shut your face, Frank. I was gonna tell them about the salsas.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 21
Hey! It's Special K. How it is?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 22
but I've never had this kind of power before,
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 23
We have to ask them 25 questions? This is gonna take forever.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 24
ItÂ’ll be quick and easy, and then we can get to Cole's party.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 25
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I got you. Now you owe me an answer.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 27
Well, I guess it's time for a little goodbye toast.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 28
Eleven seconds. You beat your record.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 29
He wasn't even intrigued by my bear-hibernation question.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 30
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Well, not only have we been letting them know...
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 34
What up?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 35
and tell me the five lamest people that you see.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 36
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 37
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 38
Other times it gets right up in your grill.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 39
You know what? Do whatever you want.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 40
I can't believe I let you sew my eye up after all the soda you had.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 41
- Yes, we... That's what we were... - Yeah. Yes.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 42
But we decided as a group that we can live with ourselves.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 43
one of the most memorable nights I've ever had as a doctor.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 44
even though Paul wasn't gonna talk to any of us.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 45
- How did you get him to talk? - We had a conversation.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 46
Come on, talk to us.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 47
I've been your whipping boy for eight years,
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 48
That's not relevant right now, it's just always on my mind.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 49
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 50
Hey, my buddy killed a guy once.
Aired 14 years ago - Dec 08, 2009

J.D. and Drew learn a tough lesson in mentoring when Dr. Cox and Lucy show them that sometimes the student is the teacher.

Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 1
You really brought it today.
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I tried med school before, and I crashed and burned, okay?
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Well, my hair is falling out in clumps,
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But you also need to... Branch out. nailed it!
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Hey, perry, you wanna hang out later? Sure. And if we can't find any more climbing trees,
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That's right. We have cameras everywhere.
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Help me shake this machine. Dr. Mahoney,
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 9
Instantly change your entire personality? I guess I could try.
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Okay,tearing it up, sir. No, don't--don't tear up your money.
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Cheers.
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Cox and I were drinking beer and watching sports--
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You know what? No. No, we're not going there. Excuse me, dr. Dorian.
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I just feel like I'm being replaced.
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I'm sorry, white bread. I'm not currently looking for
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Uh, I think I'm on your tube.
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I was like, "whoo-hoo! Let's have a party!"
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Take mrs. Maroney down for her m.R.I.
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we get it, drew. You got a very muscular neck.
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You should be asleep. She should be asleep!
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this thing is so complicated.
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We do an a.C.T.H. Stimulation test to diagnose--
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But if you want these chips, I might dislocate my shoulder.
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Who would like tdive in? I'm on this.
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Now tell me which nurse should go get the crash cart? Huh?
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Bring him back to her room.
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of course, if you let someone down...
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Than pretending to like beer.
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Here I thought we weren't bringing our wives this evening.
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It was a long story. Another time.
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All the time I wasted on people who eventually let me down.
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I don't know
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Hey.
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And fornicating.
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Come on. It'll be fun.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 42
Either on their own or in a box,
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 43
They are god's most majestic creatures.
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I need to change that. What do you want from me?
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He's never gonna change it. I wish I could help.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 46
But right now I'm ready for a little
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 47
I'm dr. Wolverine.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 48
If you want to beat the level,
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 49
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 50
What the hell are you wearing? I'm showing my owlcat spirit.
Aired 14 years ago - Dec 01, 2009

Lucy learns a hard earned lesson about what it takes to be a doctor. Meanwhile J.D. and Turk spot a potential love connection between Denise and the new med student, Drew, as they play matchmakers with a little bit of help from Dr. Kelso.

Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 1
Centerfold, your previous answer was so wrong, it almost became right again.
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- I guess my contagious stupidity. - Great call. Your ears.
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- Me. - I do.
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are a metaphor for the cardiovascular system.
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but this time there appear to be many bees.
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No. This feels like sharing. And it's gross.
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- Dude. Again? - Finally. Where have you been?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 8
- Can't we just shake the tree again? - Go shake.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 9
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 10
Sorry, I was just hiding from one of my teachers.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 11
and make four copies.
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Broken ribs and a possible ruptured spleen? Was Mr. Evans in an accident?
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Mr. Shershow here is in a massive coma.
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No, I wish. My mom is lactose intolly. For real though, she is the best.
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I know people like Alan. I grew up with them.
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I mean, I've been nude, but I never look down.
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- Are you okay? - I'm not great, Alan.
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- What? - Denise, you're scary.
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- How? - You guys had sex near The Todd.
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Wow. I mean, my forehead's really big and I look Chinese,
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 24
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It's like if Fonzie and Jo from The Facts of Life
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 27
Fonzie couldn't take care of a Gremlin. He's too busy being cool.
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Yes, falsetto
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And that was the beginning of a long line of "no's."
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I see a med student getting involved with a patient
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It's scary to put yourself out there.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 32
- Maybe talk a little. - Oh!
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 33
let me just say that if Alan goes to rehab...
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 34
So in the future when I tell you to do nothing,
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 35
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 36
And rest in peace.
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if you can raise the money to send Alan to a rehab center.
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- Want the rest of my nachos? - Oh, hell, yeah!
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What car? Full-body-wax-five. Buff away, ladies.
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Because of the other night when we shared the nachos.
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was an Eskimo boy who sold me salmon jerky and painkillers.
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And the only reason I teach is so I don't have to be alone in my house.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 45
- Uh... - Oh!
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I knew I'd just changed Alan's life,
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Antonio Sabato Jr., my safely ethnic dreamboat.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 50
Aired 14 years ago - Dec 01, 2009

J.D., Turk, Cox, Kelso and intern Denise return to Sacred Heart to teach med school, while new med students Lucy, Drew, Cole and Maya are put through the wringer on their first day of school.

Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 1
go ahead and take a pinkie or an ear as a trophy.
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I've never spoken to any of these people.
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I guess I should answer any annoying questions you all have.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 5
Speaking of which, little administrative thing.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 6
Whoops, that feels more like my private-time area.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 7
In my class, you will each be graded by the color of your skin.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 8
and then ran to see each other!
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- Hey, Dr. Turk. - Not now, Denise.
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When was the last time you guys saw each other?
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Onward, eagle!
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But we're always gonna inspire each other.
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I feel like I can say the worst is over.
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- You look like you could use a grape. - Thanks, Ben, I really could.
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And I call her 19 because instead of using your names,
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- What? - The anterior cerebral artery.
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- I'm sorry about the grape thing. - Don't sweat it, 42.
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- I don't. My name is Ilyavich. - Mike, just go.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 23
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You know, you think you're so hot, but I'm not a fan.
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- Hey, should we be taking notes? - That's a good question, fellow.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 26
I'm not a big fan of the TAs doing a lot of speaking, Denise. Okay?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 27
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First one bringing me a med student gets a juicy bone. He gets a juicy bone.
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What is it called when tuberculosis affects the spine?
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But just a stunningly horrible job, nonetheless.
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So, great first day, everybody. Who wants to keep this party going?
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Maybe you could, I don't know, not do that.
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Are we locked down to that, or can we keep spitballing here?
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I got us all these glow-in-the-dark necklaces
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Come on, let's go get a beer.
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The truth is, the harshest words are the ones we say about ourselves.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 39
To cheer myself up, I made what I think is a great decision.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 40
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Notice any resemblance? Symmetric features, strong jaw?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 42
- Puh-ching. - Don't you "puh-ching" me!
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 43
Now, can you make that out?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 44
Why do you have to lash out, Perry?
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 45
and I kind of felt connected to him.
Recap of Scrubs Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 46
who could fly up and rescue me from all this.
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That is a very graphic naked picture of you.
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