Status
Continuing
Next episode
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Airs
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 12

Aired 16 years ago - Nov 19, 2008

Butters is sure he’s seen a vampire at school but he can’t get anyone to listen to him. Meanwhile, the Goth Kids are angry and frustrated when the other kids can’t tell the difference between a Goth and a Vampire.

Aired 16 years ago - Nov 12, 2008

Stan realizes he could lose Wendy if he doesn't get on board with the latest fad to hit South Park Elementary. Cartman would rather kill himself than succumb. But, when Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman all realize that Butters is now more popular than they are, they have no choice but to give in to peer pressure.

Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 13 (S12E13) - 1
We are really getting old.
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I no longer have any connection to this world.
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Okay. Good.
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Frickin' hybrids, man. They just don't do the trick anymore.
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As long as we care about each other We can still all have some fun
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Don't care what other people wear Or the way they like to style their hair
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Do you feel like maybe you're losing her, Stan?
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Look, I just want you to know, if you want to, you know,
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I wouldn't have a chance with Bridon. He can be with any girl he wants!
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but what if she just doesn't wanna hurt my feelings?
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No, fuck off. I'm not doing it!
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Listen. You know this whole singing and dancing thing you do.
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I can't stand it.
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Right now.
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Go and tell your dad you want to give up singing and dancing and play basketball.
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You can lay down the rhythm and bring it
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No son of mine is going to be a sweaty little jock!
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I will slap your face so super hard.
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I slap, slap, slap you!
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With all of our friends
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What happened? I thought you didn't wanna sing and dance anymore.
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All the kids and the school funding goes to the theater department.
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- That's great, Bridon! - Thanks!
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Your kid is really good at this.
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You don't tell me how to raise my son!
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Oh, shit!
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We promised each other we would never do that. Remember?
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Don't make fun of my diabetes.
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Okay, that's totally true.
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You better just turn your asses around and get back in your little car,
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We just wanted to talk to you for a few minutes,
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Oh, God, please! You have to get away. He won't ever stop!
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Congratulations, Bridon! Guess we'll be working a lot together.
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What did I do to deserve this? And what am I supposed to do now?
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- You the reach the stars... - Please! You have to do something!
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Can you believe it? What'd he just say?
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You get upstairs
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That's enough, you guys. It's not cool.
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Third team foul on West Jeff Bobcats. Ball goes back over to the cows.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 13 (S12E13) - 49
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Aired 16 years ago - Nov 05, 2008

While the country celebrates the outcome of the election, the new President-elect catches everyone off guard when he arrives at the White House prematurely.

Aired 16 years ago - Oct 29, 2008

Giant guinea pigs are attacking cities all over the world. The boys have the key that will save everyone from the onslaught but they're stranded in the Andes Mountains.

Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 11 (S12E11) - 1
Sharon is here with me. And there's Shelley. Wave to the camera, Shelley.
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Reports of attacks are coming from major cities all over the world.
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Go, Randy, run!
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to Peru, but had you land way up in Andes moutains of Peru,
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Actually the whole rounding up of the panflute bands didn't make sense any of us either.
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It's like humans have never been to this part of Peru.
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More guinea pigs seem to be moving in from all directions.
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No, sir. We diverted all the resources away from the panflute bands to deal with the guinea pigs.
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- Oh, Jesus! - Randy, run.
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Randy? Were are you going?
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You just winded up being set by the government to take down the city of Lima
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We found the Stotch family hiding up here also.
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It stung me, it stung me.
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Because when you come across a spooky ancient ruine, you say
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You guys, look at this. It's a wall of ancient drawings.
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Dude, Craig, what's going on?
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And how are the efforts to contain all this going?
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All right, get the jets ready. I need to get to Machu Picchu.
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We're in grocery store now. Some other survivors here.
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There... there. Okay.
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Hey, we aren't the ones on an ancient temple prophecy wall, buttwipe.
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Guinea rabbits are still everywhere along with few guinea panthers.
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What do you think about the guineasaurus rex, Shelley?
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You are putting down that goddamn camera!
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Behold! I am standing on your precious land.
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They're a peruvian band that escaped. We must keep them contained.
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would be unleashed and I have made that happen.
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Oh, I'm much more than that.
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Sir, I promise you, I'm not going to ruin your plan.
Aired 16 years ago - Oct 22, 2008

The boys find a way to make money off an international crisis that requires no talent and very little effort. Cartman convinces the other boys to invite Craig to get in on their latest plan. He knows Craig has just what it takes to make their dream a reality.

Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 10 (S12E10) - 1
and then make some crappy pan flute music cds on my computer.
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Come on in, Craig, have a seat! Welcome.
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You guys never hang out with me, you never invite me to do stuff,
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All right, guys. Just like we rehearsed it! You ready, Craig?
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Por favor, buy our cds de musica!
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and ecological crisis of disastrous proportions.
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We will need every resource available to see this through.
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This country was founded on beliefs in freedom and integrity.
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Clear out. Move! This is a homeland security operation, people. Let's go!
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The government efforts to stop the Peruvian flute band crisis
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The flute bands contained
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I said I'm not buying any god damn cds today! You got that?
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Which will take you to Guantanamo bay.
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I'm sure our parents are freaking out right now trying to find us.
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Nobody knows anything. It's like the boys just vanished.
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This is exactly why I've told Kyle not to hang around that boy!
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We've been researching, but we can't figure it out.
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Not "Peruvian", retards. Peru! It's right here!
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Sir, you better come quick.
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and sell CDs of you with an llama but you're not a Peruvian flute band.
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- We speak english! - And we're white!
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- one of us. - I agree.
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then they could be our way of taking out Peru once and for all.
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That's why nobody likes hanging out with you guys.
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You don't have a choice.
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- Si, no podemis ir! - Que son protectores.
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La muerte peludo!
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Oh, my God!
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My god! What is that thing?
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 10 (S12E10) - 45
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Because you guys are jerks and you never learn from your mistakes.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 10 (S12E10) - 47
You guys took my birthday money, got me arrested and sent to Miami
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Why would homeland security send us into Peru?
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 10 (S12E10) - 49
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 10 (S12E10) - 50
What the hell was that?
Aired 16 years ago - Oct 15, 2008

Wendy gets in trouble when she threatens to beat up Cartman after school. No matter how fired up Wendy is, all bets are on Cartman. Everybody knows a girl can't fight a boy and win.

Aired 16 years ago - Oct 08, 2008

After watching the intimidating opening ceremonies of the recent Olympic games, Cartman understands that the Chinese are only just days away from invading his homeland. While the rest of the American people are haunted by the memory of a recent tragic event, only Butters will stand with Cartman as he confronts the Chinese.

Aired 16 years ago - Apr 23, 2008

While the kids are on an educational field trip to a living museum, Cartman makes Butters sneak away from the class to go to the amusement center located next door.

Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 7 (S12E07) - 1
Or you can head over the general store.
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Oh, that's cool. Come on, eric, we need to catch up with everyone.
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No, eric!
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What do you mean back then?
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We ain't never heard of no siren in 1864.
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Whoa now! I'm sheriff mclawdog.
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Store hand, you ever heard of this fancy smancy phone?
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This is not the time for that!
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Jesus christ.
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We should get back to the pioneer village. That's what we should do!
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What's the number to dial out?
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Hah, I mean, this here room sure is strange.
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Sister, you don't know the half of it.
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You got it! Nice!
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♪ the answer to my prayers super fun time ♪
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♪ you make my life so right super fun time ♪
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Unfortunately, your police department got wind of our robbery and chased after us.
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How did they find us?
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These are professionals we're dealing with here.
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I'd like to speak with the chief of police.
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Them there bandits sure look mighty strange.
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Oh, man, I can't wait to see the look on kyle's face
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Yeah, well, I guess that's kinda true.
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Butters, listen to me. Listen.
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The police have us completely surrounded on all sides.
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So, if we can get into the shaft, we can tunnel our way around the police. Excellent.
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I'm just a simple blacksmith. With my trustee force i make all the metal works for the village.
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Why, we got to put fires out ourselves.
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I'm just a simple blacksmith.
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I don't have time for your stupid game!
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What he meant to say, kids, is that we ain't never heard of no fancy door code
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Yeah, we gotta, got, get the hell outta here fast!
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Look, see that traffic signal down there?
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Frolich, check in. Have you found any other employees?
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Tarnation, why'd you let murdering murphy go?
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Not me! Not me! Not me! Not me! Not me!
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I was just supposed to look after my partner and I blew it.
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Quick, are you ready? We got to jump!
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And women in our time ain't allowed to know the carryings-on of the town proper.
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Wendy, I have to do something.
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But i done come from pagosa springs to buy me some wares and such.
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I reckon that maybe you could make a jail door that opened with numbers instead of keys.
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what would you villagers want the number to be to unlock that there jail door shuck 'em up?
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No! You got your door code. Let us go!
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Or the witty anecdotes of the towns people.
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Our teacher said we have to hold hands the whole time we're here!
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Aired 16 years ago - Apr 16, 2008

The citizens of South Park wake up one morning shocked to find the Internet is gone. Upon hearing news that the Internet may remain in California, Randy decides to head out west with the family.

Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 6 (S12E06) - 1
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N, don't! You're wasting your time.
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We can't! Don't you get it?
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Hello? Do you have internet?
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If my darling amir gets another internet girlfriend, I'm going to kill him.
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We're gonna head west.
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In the meantime, I got a family who needs internet right away.
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Sorry, folks. We're full up.
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Soon as we get us some internet we can all rest easy.
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Oh, I'm gonna sit down at that internet and just start e-mailing.
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How many folks heading out to california?
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My two children, they tried to load a webpage.
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You'll be able to get online when we get to california.
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Silicon valley, california!
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All right. Stay in line once you're inside.
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Excuse me. We're looking for some internet.
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40 seconds?
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Aw, how am I supposed to see internet porn that way?
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There might be some internet still in california, and parts of florida.
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We got to get a reporter out to the internet.
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Gentlemen, president is very angry that his internet still isn't working.
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Here it is, general. The internet.
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My god.
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Next. Nelson, peter T.
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I got used to being able to see anything at the click of a button, you know?
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Amir and I are closer than anybody in this stupid family!
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We all got used to seeing lots of really perverted stuff on the internet,
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Dammit.
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Brazilian fart fetish porn? Click. Click.
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We now have a reporter on the scene. Let's go live!
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If we've angered you somehow, let us know.
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Hey, wait a minute.
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This is taking too long.
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What is that?
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- Dad? - Randy!
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With nowhere else to turn, the government is going to allow one brave 8-year-old boy
Aired 16 years ago - Apr 09, 2008

While Ms. Garrison is off trying to find a way to become the man he was always intended to be, Cartman is put in charge of the classroom.

Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 1
In other news tonight, a south park bio company is coming under fire
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who have become disfigured and need ears or noses.
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Doctor, what about a penis?
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I will give you all the money I have to just try. Please.
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Commend means you've done a great job, eric, mkay.
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These gentlemen from the denver county school board have something they want to ask you.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 7
That sounds like a chance to really make an impact on some students who need it most.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 8
because we took the answers out of garrison's desk, and you know it!
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 9
They are going to murder you.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 10
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Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 12
This may be your last shot at graduating from high school at all!
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I am here to teach you calculus.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 14
And so here's your penis.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 15
Oh, no!
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 16
Okay, everyone take a silly bus and pass it to the amigo behind you.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 17
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He's won three superbowls. How?
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 19
If you cheat and succeed, you're savvyyyy.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 20
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How about a little pickup game?
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 23
You cheated!
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 24
No matter how many times you say I cheated, the scoreboard says 2 - 0.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 25
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A penis is loose in our kitchen!
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 27
There! There you see it!
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 28
Today, we will discuss one of the most fundamental ways to cheat --
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 29
Learn what's on the test before they give it to you, and that way you can --
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 30
He simply said what every good white cheater says when caught:
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 31
I misinterpreted the rules!
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there he goes, stop you.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 35
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 36
I won't be going to college.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 37
Abortion isn't wrong.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 38
They get pregnant, but they still want to go to college so whatever, they just cheat.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 39
It is at our most challenging times that we must cheat our very hardest.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 40
Is this pretty close?
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 41
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 42
Where is it?
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 43
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♪ and seeing it so bright ♪
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 45
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 46
A very ugly one. Come on,men.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 47
The test is going to be heavily monitored in a private room at their location
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 48
I knew it,man!
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 49
Just before the last superbowl,bill belichick gathered his football players
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 5 (S12E05) - 50
or else you can lose the biggest game of your lives.
Aired 16 years ago - Apr 02, 2008

The head of the World Canadian Bureau leads the country into a long and painful strike and the responsibility of brokering a settlement rests with the boys.

Aired 16 years ago - Mar 26, 2008

In a South Park homage to the 1981 film, “Heavy Metal”, the boys are trying to get Kenny off the latest drug craze that’s captured the junior high and under set.

Aired 16 years ago - Mar 19, 2008

While trying to escape her troubles in the secluded mountains near South Park, Britney Spears has a run-in with the boys. Stan and Kyle get swept up in her celebrity as well as the non-stop feeding frenzy that plagues her wherever she goes. The boys must take Britney to the North Pole when they learn the secret behind what makes her so popular.

Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 2 (S12E02) - 1
Well this costume was supposed to be for the Easter musical, fellas,
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 2 (S12E02) - 2
We're professionals too, you fucking butthole!
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 2 (S12E02) - 3
I didn't even know it was there.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 2 (S12E02) - 4
- We did it guys! - I told you that would work!
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It ain't right to take advantage of somebody no matter who they are!
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How cold we know she would... Aw we suck so hard.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 2 (S12E02) - 9
We don't wanna upset her, we just want to tell her that we're sorry.
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Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 2 (S12E02) - 12
This video was taken just hours ago
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 2 (S12E02) - 13
Chris, any word on why Ms. Spears went for this radical "no top of the head" look?
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Brit! Over here, Brit. One for Star Weekly.
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All right, Britney, let's take it from the top. Remember to bring that sexiness to it.
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Ah, Britney, that last lyric is supposed to be
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 2 (S12E02) - 21
No, I mean, she literally doesn't have most of her brain! Her head is gone!
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 2 (S12E02) - 22
Here to perform her new song is the one, and only, Britney Spears!
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And we can put you on SlimFast tomorrow.
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and abandoned all those close to her.
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Oh boy, now, Leslie, this seems like a really bad camel toe offense.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 2 (S12E02) - 31
She was sporting toe like never before, Brian.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 2 (S12E02) - 32
Colorado officials have taken the squirrel to Johns-Hopkins
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It's okay, you'll be in the North Pole soon.
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Look, you guys are gonna end up killing her.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 2 (S12E02) - 38
Just this one time, let's, let's all stop before it's too late, huh?
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 2 (S12E02) - 39
The purpose is too great.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 2 (S12E02) - 40
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You want me to, to what?
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 2 (S12E02) - 42
What is going on? Why do you want Britney Spears to die?
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 2 (S12E02) - 43
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It's a damn shame too. Old ways were butter.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 2 (S12E02) - 45
and then sacrificed. For harvest.
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They're gonna kill her! They're going to in-
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 2 (S12E02) - 49
Sacrifice in March, corn have plenty starch.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 2 (S12E02) - 50
All right, enough already! This has all gone on long enough!
Aired 16 years ago - Mar 12, 2008

After going in for a routine tonsillectomy, a botched transfusion leaves Cartman afflicted with an incurable disease. When he finds no comfort in his friends and family, how far will he go to find a cure?

Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 1
What's going on?Are we in trouble?
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The disease is in very early stages and completely manageable,
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 3
All right,we're going to bring eric in now.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 4
How you doing,eric?
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Now,you're not going to die,eric.
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We are here tonight to salute the bravery and the courage of one very special little boy who is living with HIV
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 8
The italian meatballs are fantastic.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 9
and that money will certainly go towards helping little eric martman.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 10
I wrote this song for a very brave little boy.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 11
how he got AIDS I haven't a clue wasting away again
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 12
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Well,did elton john sing a song for you?
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 14
If you really felt bad,you'd wipe that Smirk off your face!
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 15
Oh,and what,I deserve it?
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 16
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I just,I don't know that I should be helping you make kyle look silly.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 18
All right. Now get the rope up over that third rafter above the window.
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You think HIV is something to be laughed at,kyle?
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Mrs. Broflovski,has your son ever had a blood transfusion?
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 22
It took us a long time to narrow it down,but there is no doubt.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 23
Kyle?Kyle!
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 24
Ooohhhh,you have HIV,huh,kyle?
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 25
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What?
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 27
You cannot purposely infect other kids with your disease.
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Should we just call it a truce?
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 30
I apologized,kyle!
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 31
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There is no cure,you asshole!
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 33
He's still totally fine.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 34
Because if you don't the cure for HIV,I will break your xbox.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 35
That would be $400 each.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 36
Don't you get it?
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 37
Are you sure you don't just have any cash?
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 38
We're so happy to help accommodate you brave boys.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 39
look,shouldn't you be serving people drinks or something?Get outta here!
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 40
Magic,magic,could you come to the front for a minute?
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 41
We were just hoping that maybe you have some kind of key that could help us with our disease.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 42
I don't think it's funny,kyle.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 43
But if you want to be so HIV negative all the time -
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 44
I would love to know so I could help others,but I just don't
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 45
I don't know which thing is what keeps my T-cell count high,so i try it all.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 46
I sleep with all my money.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 47
Take a look.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 48
The cash does seem to restrain the hiv cells from stabilizing.
Recap of South Park Season 12 Episode 1 (S12E01) - 49
We need FDA approvals,control studies!
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