S5 E9
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Season 5  "Archer Vice: On The Carpet"  5x9

Aired 6 years ago - Mar 24, 2014

Archer avoids crash landing in a dangerous swamp only to come face-to-face with a shady arms dealer.

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Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 1
- film in this? - Goddamn it!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 2
- Yes. - Are you...?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 3
And it's not that we don't appreciate criticism.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 4
- Nothing! - Yeah, Lana.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 5
No, unfortunately we ran into some...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 6
- Cyril! - Ray, what do I do?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 7
- middle of the damn Everglades. - Well, not within fuel
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 8
Even if Ray had filed a flight plan...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 9
- heavy? - You said we had
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 10
Please tell me that was never a real thing to you.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 11
Plus, all this cocaine! Do you have any idea how mad
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 12
- Excuse me? - I meant the pain of
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 13
Why do you think it's marked on the chart, you idiot?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 14
- They'll kill us! - Well... maybe not.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 15
Uh, we obviously d... Oh. Hardy har, Mother.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 16
- What are you doing?! - Throwing out the guns!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 17
Yeah!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 18
- Tell you in a minute. - Gear down!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 19
Oh, so, Cyril...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 20
instead of those little rubber bands in there, it's just, you
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 21
Okay, listen up. Say what you will about my
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 22
- God. - Always.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 23
No.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 24
- beanbag. - Medical fact, Cyril.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 25
- American. - Yeah, and the
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 26
- uh... - Uh, Rand... o.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 27
think we covered that fairly well-- and these are the, uh,
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 28
What, you're just not gonna answer?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 29
to address that, which we did and now we're here and...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 30
- on the planet... - Which we
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 31
- fellas loaded. - Yeah, now you're
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 32
- Am I right, fellas? - Are you?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 33
You do know where you're going, right?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 34
So, you leave here with a bunch of the first load of
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 35
I love Freaky Friday as much as the next gal, but let's just
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 36
a beanbagging arms dealer, so that now, almost inexplicably,
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 37
Still talking about this.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 38
Maybe I was busy saving your life once, and then you shot me.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 39
It still says "German East Africa."
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 40
- a country. - And it's in the
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 41
forces consolidate their gains in the countryside, and now
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 42
young man here, the fruit of San Marcos, wounded by a Communist
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 43
- As in who cares. - The United States.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 44
My album's coming out, and it's gonna be huge, and you're all
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 45
I think you've managed to stumble backwards
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 46
- timid man, Cyril. - What? No, I'm not.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 47
cocaine, do we even still have half of it left?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 48
been working on a bit of a side project.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 49
- Thoughts? - How you gonna get it
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 50
ballast, and what better to simulate bricks of cocaine than,

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 2
- Yes. - Are you...?
#2
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 3
And it's not that we don't appreciate criticism.
#3
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 4
- Nothing! - Yeah, Lana.
#4
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 5
No, unfortunately we ran into some...
#5
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 6
- Cyril! - Ray, what do I do?!
#6
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 7
- middle of the damn Everglades. - Well, not within fuel
#7
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 8
Even if Ray had filed a flight plan...
#8
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 9
- heavy? - You said we had
#9
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 10
Please tell me that was never a real thing to you.
#10
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 11
Plus, all this cocaine! Do you have any idea how mad
#11
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 12
- Excuse me? - I meant the pain of
#12
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 13
Why do you think it's marked on the chart, you idiot?
#13
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 14
- They'll kill us! - Well... maybe not.
#14
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 15
Uh, we obviously d... Oh. Hardy har, Mother.
#15
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 16
- What are you doing?! - Throwing out the guns!
#16
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 17
Yeah!
#17
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 18
- Tell you in a minute. - Gear down!
#18
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 19
Oh, so, Cyril...
#19
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 20
instead of those little rubber bands in there, it's just, you
#20
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 21
Okay, listen up. Say what you will about my
#21
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 22
- God. - Always.
#22
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 23
No.
#23
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 24
- beanbag. - Medical fact, Cyril.
#24
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 25
- American. - Yeah, and the
#25
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 26
- uh... - Uh, Rand... o.
#26
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 27
think we covered that fairly well-- and these are the, uh,
#27
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 28
What, you're just not gonna answer?
#28
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 29
to address that, which we did and now we're here and...
#29
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 30
- on the planet... - Which we
#30
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 31
- fellas loaded. - Yeah, now you're
#31
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 32
- Am I right, fellas? - Are you?
#32
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 33
You do know where you're going, right?
#33
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 34
So, you leave here with a bunch of the first load of
#34
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 35
I love Freaky Friday as much as the next gal, but let's just
#35
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 36
a beanbagging arms dealer, so that now, almost inexplicably,
#36
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 37
Still talking about this.
#37
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 38
Maybe I was busy saving your life once, and then you shot me.
#38
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 39
It still says "German East Africa."
#39
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 40
- a country. - And it's in the
#40
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 41
forces consolidate their gains in the countryside, and now
#41
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 42
young man here, the fruit of San Marcos, wounded by a Communist
#42
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 43
- As in who cares. - The United States.
#43
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 44
My album's coming out, and it's gonna be huge, and you're all
#44
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 45
I think you've managed to stumble backwards
#45
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 46
- timid man, Cyril. - What? No, I'm not.
#46
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 47
cocaine, do we even still have half of it left?
#47
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 48
been working on a bit of a side project.
#48
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 49
- Thoughts? - How you gonna get it
#49
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 5 Episode 9 (S05E09) - 50
ballast, and what better to simulate bricks of cocaine than,
#50