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The Simpsons

S2 E14
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Season 2  "Principal Charming"  2x14

Aired 34 years ago - Feb 14, 1991

When Marge begs Homer to find Selma a husband, he sets her up with Principal Skinner... who falls in love with Patty instead.

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Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 1
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 2
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 3
...one of the statistically small number of single 40-year-olds...
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 4
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 5
I'll get right to it. I'm getting older and uglier.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 6
...so you could see that car shaped like a giant bowling pin?
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 7
-I want you to find Selma a husband. -Find a husband?!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 8
Patty chose celibacy but Selma simply had it thrust upon her.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 9
Say when.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 10
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 11
According to my sources, you are simultaneously planning...
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 12
-He'll never get away with it. -He just goes too far.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 13
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 14
...I still think they're the best Tater Tots money can buy.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 15
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 16
The sheer contempt makes me wish I could use the board of education.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 17
Come on, one of you guys has got to be Homer Sexual!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 18
Sorry, Principal Skinner. It's a bad connection, I think.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 19
...I'd like to punish Bart through backbreaking physical labor.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 20
But enough about Bart. Tell me, are you married?
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 21
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 22
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 23
I'm too nervous. You do it.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 24
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 25
So, Patty, tell me, tell me more about your trip to Egypt.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 26
...the Parents Advisory Board asked that I see Space Mutants Part V.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 27
Pack of Lady Laramies.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 28
Save your strength, lad. There's a whole field for you to re-sod yet.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 29
Have I ever. The thought of doing wrong makes my stomach turn.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 30
You don't want to show up for your big date looking like Yosemite Sam.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 31
Cherry cordials. I hope you like them.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 32
-This evening has been disappointing. -Indeed. Terrible.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 33
Nearly 30 and still working as a busboy!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 34
Oh, yes. Plenty of fish. We just don't have any bait.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 35
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 36
Hello, Dolly.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 37
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 38
Until then.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 39
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 40
One kiss. But I don't want you bragging to your friends.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 41
Attention! Seymour Skinner is in love!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 42
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 43
I gotta find a date for my big, fat, snotty sister-in-law, Selma.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 44
My sister's not going out with Barney Gumble!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 45
But nothing! She's a heifer, plain and simple--
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 46
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 47
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 48
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 49
It's not that I don't love you.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 50
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 51

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 2 #2 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 3
...one of the statistically small number of single 40-year-olds...
#3 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 4 #4 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 5
I'll get right to it. I'm getting older and uglier.
#5 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 6
...so you could see that car shaped like a giant bowling pin?
#6 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 7
-I want you to find Selma a husband. -Find a husband?!
#7 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 8
Patty chose celibacy but Selma simply had it thrust upon her.
#8 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 9
Say when.
#9 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 10 #10 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 11
According to my sources, you are simultaneously planning...
#11 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 12
-He'll never get away with it. -He just goes too far.
#12 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 13 #13 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 14
...I still think they're the best Tater Tots money can buy.
#14 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 15 #15 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 16
The sheer contempt makes me wish I could use the board of education.
#16 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 17
Come on, one of you guys has got to be Homer Sexual!
#17 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 18
Sorry, Principal Skinner. It's a bad connection, I think.
#18 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 19
...I'd like to punish Bart through backbreaking physical labor.
#19 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 20
But enough about Bart. Tell me, are you married?
#20 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 21 #21 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 22 #22 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 23
I'm too nervous. You do it.
#23 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 24 #24 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 25
So, Patty, tell me, tell me more about your trip to Egypt.
#25 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 26
...the Parents Advisory Board asked that I see Space Mutants Part V.
#26 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 27
Pack of Lady Laramies.
#27 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 28
Save your strength, lad. There's a whole field for you to re-sod yet.
#28 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 29
Have I ever. The thought of doing wrong makes my stomach turn.
#29 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 30
You don't want to show up for your big date looking like Yosemite Sam.
#30 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 31
Cherry cordials. I hope you like them.
#31 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 32
-This evening has been disappointing. -Indeed. Terrible.
#32 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 33
Nearly 30 and still working as a busboy!
#33 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 34
Oh, yes. Plenty of fish. We just don't have any bait.
#34 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 35 #35 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 36
Hello, Dolly.
#36 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 37 #37 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 38
Until then.
#38 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 39 #39 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 40
One kiss. But I don't want you bragging to your friends.
#40 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 41
Attention! Seymour Skinner is in love!
#41 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 42 #42 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 43
I gotta find a date for my big, fat, snotty sister-in-law, Selma.
#43 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 44
My sister's not going out with Barney Gumble!
#44 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 45
But nothing! She's a heifer, plain and simple--
#45 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 46 #46 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 47 #47 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 48 #48 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 49
It's not that I don't love you.
#49 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 50 #50 Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 51 #51