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Two and a Half Men

SSEASON 11 EEPISODE 3

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Season 11 "This Unblessed Biscuit" 11x3

Aired 10 years ago - Oct 10, 2013

When Berta hurts her back at work, Alan and Walden think she should retire.

Mouse over thumbnail for slideshow

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 1

Me and a couple of Hell's Angels decided to drop acid and get naked.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 2

Well, let's see what we got here. Where's the pain?

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 3

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 4

Western medicine. He'll probably prescribe painkillers.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 5

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 6

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 7

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 8

I have taken the initiative to design and build a chore wheel.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 9

That's because it was my chore to make the chore wheel.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 10

Whoa! Somebody found my stash.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 11

and it turns my pot into poisonous jumping bugs?

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 12

You guys take such good care of me.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 13

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 14

Why do these have windows?

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 15

Wait a minute, are we watching them or are they watching us?

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 16

You know, I was just thinking. I mean, she hurt her back.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 17

You know how some people trim hedges to make the tree look bigger?

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 18

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 19

Maybe it's time to put the old girl out to pasture.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 20

And the only dishes left in the sink are made of chocolate.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 21

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 22

have you ever thought about hanging up the old toilet brush?

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 23

Besides, I can't afford to retire.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 24

Then, I said, nah, I'll just hang around here,

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 25

One last job. I like it. Am I driving or shooting?

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 26

I mean, it's a tough job, especially for a woman of your age.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 27

you can throw money at.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 28

- Excuse me? - You got rich from one idea.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 29

Oh, no! Where am I gonna find someone to eat my food,

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 30

Yes, Helen is great.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 31

- Supper time, boys. - BOTH: Oh.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 32

Hey, maybe that's her last name? "Who."

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 33

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 34

Well, thank you very much.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 35

I am gonna stitch that on a pillow.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 36

and all of the other blessings that you have bestowed upon us.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 37

Lest their souls burn in the fiery pits of hell

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 38

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 39

but I'm pretty sure she was carrying a little bag of pillow chocolates.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 40

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 41

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 42

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 43

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 44

I don't know. For breakfast, I like pancakes.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 45

I need to bring my own bandana or you gonna supply me with one?

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 46

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 47

Um, but you are aware you're applying for a job as a housekeeper?

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 48

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 49

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 50

No, no. You know what? I changed my mind.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 2

Well, let's see what we got here. Where's the pain?

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 3

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 4

Western medicine. He'll probably prescribe painkillers.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 5

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 6

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 7

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 8

I have taken the initiative to design and build a chore wheel.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 9

That's because it was my chore to make the chore wheel.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 10

Whoa! Somebody found my stash.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 11

and it turns my pot into poisonous jumping bugs?

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 12

You guys take such good care of me.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 13

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 14

Why do these have windows?

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 15

Wait a minute, are we watching them or are they watching us?

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 16

You know, I was just thinking. I mean, she hurt her back.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 17

You know how some people trim hedges to make the tree look bigger?

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 18

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 19

Maybe it's time to put the old girl out to pasture.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 20

And the only dishes left in the sink are made of chocolate.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 21

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 22

have you ever thought about hanging up the old toilet brush?

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 23

Besides, I can't afford to retire.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 24

Then, I said, nah, I'll just hang around here,

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 25

One last job. I like it. Am I driving or shooting?

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 26

I mean, it's a tough job, especially for a woman of your age.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 27

you can throw money at.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 28

- Excuse me? - You got rich from one idea.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 29

Oh, no! Where am I gonna find someone to eat my food,

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 30

Yes, Helen is great.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 31

- Supper time, boys. - BOTH: Oh.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 32

Hey, maybe that's her last name? "Who."

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 33

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 34

Well, thank you very much.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 35

I am gonna stitch that on a pillow.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 36

and all of the other blessings that you have bestowed upon us.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 37

Lest their souls burn in the fiery pits of hell

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 38

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 39

but I'm pretty sure she was carrying a little bag of pillow chocolates.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 40

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 41

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 42

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 43

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 44

I don't know. For breakfast, I like pancakes.

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 45

I need to bring my own bandana or you gonna supply me with one?

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 46

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 47

Um, but you are aware you're applying for a job as a housekeeper?

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 48

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 49

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 3 (S11E03) - 50

No, no. You know what? I changed my mind.