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Two and a Half Men

S11 E16
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CBS
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Season 11  "How to Get Rid of Alan Harper"  11x16

Aired 10 years ago - Mar 06, 2014

Walden thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him; Alan starts dating Larry's sister, Gretchen (Kimberly Williams-Paisley).

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Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 1
You sure? Don't you wanna think about it?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 2
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 3
COMPUTER VOICE: Hey, good-looking. What you got cooking?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 4
And this...
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 5
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 6
at the wedding of your lover and another guy?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 7
How could you say "Yes" to being Larry's best man?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 8
I was talking about Larry.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 9
She will be back in three seconds looking for make-up sex.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 10
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 11
All right, Bill Gates, Steve Wozniak and Mark Zuckerberg.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 12
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 13
I'd kill you by banging you to death on our honeymoon.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 14
I can't. I got a thing.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 15
- What's your mom up to these days? - Shut up, Barry.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 16
I've got some beer on ice and sports on ice.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 17
and getting yelled at by the bride
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 18
A brother? A college roommate? Someone who knows your last name?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 19
Sure, black girls, Thai girls, whatever you want.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 20
So where's your dog?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 21
So you just moved here?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 22
Why not move in with the next guy who buys the house?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 23
Not that I don't want to meet... Never mind.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 24
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 25
- She's dead. - What?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 26
On the plus-side, I'm available now. Dave and Buster's, party of two.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 27
GPS? Triangulate the cell phone signal?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 28
- Hold the trust and honesty." - Okay, let me try one.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 29
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 30
Come on, man. You know chicks. She's probably playing hard-to-get.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 31
- Who's that guy? - A waiter?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 32
"I'm worried how the man in that car is treating his friend."
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 33
I'm getting a medical marijuana card.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 34
- I think Nicole's cheating on me. - Why do you think that?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 35
- Guess who's dating someone new? - His girlfriend.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 36
She's Larry's sister.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 37
That's what I said!
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 38
and treat women like crap, so you can get laid.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 39
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 40
Turned out, the "420" was in reference to her weight.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 41
Saw you at the restaurant with the guy last night.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 42
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 43
He offered me a job in San Francisco.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 44
The chances of us beating Google are one in a... googol.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 45
They're giving you an opportunity to work for Google?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 46
Good, I'm just... I just...
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 47
Go ahead. Good luck in San Francisco.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 48
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 49
I grew up in Chicago.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 50

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 2 #2 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 3
COMPUTER VOICE: Hey, good-looking. What you got cooking?
#3 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 4
And this...
#4 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 5 #5 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 6
at the wedding of your lover and another guy?
#6 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 7
How could you say "Yes" to being Larry's best man?
#7 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 8
I was talking about Larry.
#8 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 9
She will be back in three seconds looking for make-up sex.
#9 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 10 #10 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 11
All right, Bill Gates, Steve Wozniak and Mark Zuckerberg.
#11 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 12 #12 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 13
I'd kill you by banging you to death on our honeymoon.
#13 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 14
I can't. I got a thing.
#14 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 15
- What's your mom up to these days? - Shut up, Barry.
#15 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 16
I've got some beer on ice and sports on ice.
#16 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 17
and getting yelled at by the bride
#17 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 18
A brother? A college roommate? Someone who knows your last name?
#18 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 19
Sure, black girls, Thai girls, whatever you want.
#19 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 20
So where's your dog?
#20 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 21
So you just moved here?
#21 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 22
Why not move in with the next guy who buys the house?
#22 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 23
Not that I don't want to meet... Never mind.
#23 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 24 #24 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 25
- She's dead. - What?
#25 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 26
On the plus-side, I'm available now. Dave and Buster's, party of two.
#26 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 27
GPS? Triangulate the cell phone signal?
#27 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 28
- Hold the trust and honesty." - Okay, let me try one.
#28 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 29 #29 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 30
Come on, man. You know chicks. She's probably playing hard-to-get.
#30 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 31
- Who's that guy? - A waiter?
#31 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 32
"I'm worried how the man in that car is treating his friend."
#32 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 33
I'm getting a medical marijuana card.
#33 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 34
- I think Nicole's cheating on me. - Why do you think that?
#34 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 35
- Guess who's dating someone new? - His girlfriend.
#35 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 36
She's Larry's sister.
#36 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 37
That's what I said!
#37 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 38
and treat women like crap, so you can get laid.
#38 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 39 #39 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 40
Turned out, the "420" was in reference to her weight.
#40 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 41
Saw you at the restaurant with the guy last night.
#41 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 42 #42 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 43
He offered me a job in San Francisco.
#43 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 44
The chances of us beating Google are one in a... googol.
#44 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 45
They're giving you an opportunity to work for Google?
#45 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 46
Good, I'm just... I just...
#46 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 47
Go ahead. Good luck in San Francisco.
#47 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 48 #48 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 49
I grew up in Chicago.
#49 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 16 (S11E16) - 50 #50