S2 E18
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Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC (US)
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Season 2  "Boys' Night"  2x18

Aired 8 years ago - Mar 23, 2011

Phil and Claire are not pleased when Luke befriends a curmudgeonly old neighbor. To avoid an invite to the symphony with Gloria and Manny, Jay goes with Mitchell and Cameron on their "boys' night out" while Haley babysits Lily.

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Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 1
I just have a few questions about your return.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 2
First, why don't you attach that green one to that purple one?
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 3
- Aah! - Mr Griffin, are you OK?
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 4
No, that was for my refund. What the hell's Party of Five?
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 5
But I need that log for my recreation of James Madison's cabin.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 6
Peter! I'm holdin' iced tea!
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 7
See, that's what I do. I ask for a snack and I blow the horn.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 8
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 9
- Goodbye. - Ah, damn it.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 10
That may be. But you know what?
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 11
Damn government, telling me I can't build a pool on my own land.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 12
And all in favour of "Ephraim, the Retarded Rabbit"?
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 13
Oh. Sorry. I thought you were the district attorney.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 14
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 15
Which would make you... a communist!
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 16
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 17
Hm. Mmm-mm.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 18
- And that makes us our own country. - What are you talking about?
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 19
Our lead story tonight: Petoria.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 20
Thank you, Diane. So, Mrs Griffin, what's it like being the woman behind the man?
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 21
Well, we're a clean and industrious people, mostly white.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 22
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 23
Here you go, Mr President. Mr President!
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 24
Chug-a-lug! Chug-a-lug! Chug-a-lug! Chug-a-lug!
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 25
You still owe me for the other rounds, which comes to 50 bucks.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 26
Not a good jail, like on Cinemax. The man-jail.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 27
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 28
Can't touch me
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 29
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 30
I've been around the world, from Hartford to Bombay
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 31
Attention, delegates. This session of the United Nations is hereby convened.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 32
I'm stuck up here in the nosebleeds. I'm president of Petoria. I want a better seat.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 33
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 34
I used to be the laughing stock around here until my country invaded Kuwait.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 35
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 36
of the Geneva Convention, "the".
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 37
- I suggest we start with political sanctions. - Good, gentlemen.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 38
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 39
live at the site of the US blockade. Tom?
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 40
Oh, my God, they've opened fire. It looks like things are getting very heated here.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 41
- Here. Use this head lamp. - Hey, where's the kids?
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 42
It's not for ever. You know, it's just... it's just... You know.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 43
- Stewie, is that you? - Lois, my mind's made up.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 44
And we're back with our round-table discussion on the Petorian crisis.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 45
Oh, it's ridiculous, clearly. He's a factory worker, not a despot.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 46
Can anybody tell me what the square root of the hypotenuse is... Chris, is that a note?
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 47
Damn you, Rupert! Keep these loathsome insects away, or you'll end up like Mr Giraffe.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 48
you can make sure that Stewie never goes hungry again.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 49
Look at what we're reduced to. Our own baby has to use newspapers for diapers.
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 50
My God, I haven't seen everyone this miserable since that time we were tortured.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 2
First, why don't you attach that green one to that purple one?
#2
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 3
- Aah! - Mr Griffin, are you OK?
#3
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 4
No, that was for my refund. What the hell's Party of Five?
#4
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 5
But I need that log for my recreation of James Madison's cabin.
#5
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 6
Peter! I'm holdin' iced tea!
#6
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 7
See, that's what I do. I ask for a snack and I blow the horn.
#7
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 8 #8 Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 9
- Goodbye. - Ah, damn it.
#9
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 10
That may be. But you know what?
#10
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 11
Damn government, telling me I can't build a pool on my own land.
#11
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 12
And all in favour of "Ephraim, the Retarded Rabbit"?
#12
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 13
Oh. Sorry. I thought you were the district attorney.
#13
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 14 #14 Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 15
Which would make you... a communist!
#15
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 16 #16 Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 17
Hm. Mmm-mm.
#17
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 18
- And that makes us our own country. - What are you talking about?
#18
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 19
Our lead story tonight: Petoria.
#19
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 20
Thank you, Diane. So, Mrs Griffin, what's it like being the woman behind the man?
#20
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 21
Well, we're a clean and industrious people, mostly white.
#21
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 22 #22 Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 23
Here you go, Mr President. Mr President!
#23
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 24
Chug-a-lug! Chug-a-lug! Chug-a-lug! Chug-a-lug!
#24
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 25
You still owe me for the other rounds, which comes to 50 bucks.
#25
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 26
Not a good jail, like on Cinemax. The man-jail.
#26
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 27 #27 Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 28
Can't touch me
#28
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 29 #29 Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 30
I've been around the world, from Hartford to Bombay
#30
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 31
Attention, delegates. This session of the United Nations is hereby convened.
#31
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 32
I'm stuck up here in the nosebleeds. I'm president of Petoria. I want a better seat.
#32
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 33 #33 Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 34
I used to be the laughing stock around here until my country invaded Kuwait.
#34
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 35 #35 Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 36
of the Geneva Convention, "the".
#36
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 37
- I suggest we start with political sanctions. - Good, gentlemen.
#37
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 38 #38 Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 39
live at the site of the US blockade. Tom?
#39
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 40
Oh, my God, they've opened fire. It looks like things are getting very heated here.
#40
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 41
- Here. Use this head lamp. - Hey, where's the kids?
#41
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 42
It's not for ever. You know, it's just... it's just... You know.
#42
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 43
- Stewie, is that you? - Lois, my mind's made up.
#43
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 44
And we're back with our round-table discussion on the Petorian crisis.
#44
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 45
Oh, it's ridiculous, clearly. He's a factory worker, not a despot.
#45
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 46
Can anybody tell me what the square root of the hypotenuse is... Chris, is that a note?
#46
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 47
Damn you, Rupert! Keep these loathsome insects away, or you'll end up like Mr Giraffe.
#47
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 48
you can make sure that Stewie never goes hungry again.
#48
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 49
Look at what we're reduced to. Our own baby has to use newspapers for diapers.
#49
Recap of Modern Family Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 50
My God, I haven't seen everyone this miserable since that time we were tortured.
#50