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M*A*S*H

S7 E1
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CBS
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Season 7  "Commander Pierce"  7x1

Aired 45 years ago - Sep 18, 1978

Hawkeye undergoes a drastic change when he becomes temporary commander of the 4077th, and learns about the tedious bureaucracy and accompanying headaches that Colonel Potter deals with daily.

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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 1
All right, Winchester. You're off the hook.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 2
But I'm a coward. My insignia is a cringing chicken.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 3
- [Hacking] - Courage, Camille.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 4
- I will to get away from my commander. - Good! Left, left! Right, right!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 5
I know, but it doesn't look good... you know, for the guys.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 6
Potter took the key? He doesn't trust me?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 7
- Corporal Klinger reporting as ordered, sir. - Who ordered you?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 8
- Oh, boy, you could cut it with a fork. - Oh, you were built for command.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 9
Good try though. It shows initiative, persistence and a total grasp of unreality.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 10
From now on, I want a 24-hour palace guard outside these doors.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 11
Forget it. There are real patients here with real problems.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 12
Doc, could you give me something? I don't want to see.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 13
With all due respect, sir, may a pregnant camel give birth in your bunk.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 14
Pierce, you order me in, you order me out.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 15
Unless you fill out your DD-5-As from the day before.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 16
- I am! What do you want? - I don't want to sound critical.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 17
The temperature's supposed to drop down 20 degrees tonight.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 18
Plus what else?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 19
Let's not get into a snit. You'll drive yourself into a perfect tizzy.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 20
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 21
Kellye, I gotta get off tonight.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 22
All right, all right. At ease. I'll settle this right now.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 23
- But he can't resist. - You've gotta compromise.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 24
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 25
Always ready with the wisecracks, aren't you?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 26
- Hawk, go easy on the kid. He's on your side. - Yeah, I know.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 27
- I think the expression is "God bless you, creep." - Amen, Father.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 28
- Will you all shut up? - Ah, another county heard from.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 29
[All] Whoa-ho-ho!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 30
No, Colonel Potter's not... Colonel, is that you?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 31
No, Radar. Home where you are at the 4-0 double natural.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 32
and, uh, all he's done so far is-is clear his throat.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 33
Nah. I think I'll sleep here.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 34
- Direct hit. Got us both. It killed the aid surgeon. - Geez, what about your buddy?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 35
You tell him. I can't get an appointment.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 36
Don't yell, but you know that jeep that just come in? It just went out again with B.J. In it.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 37
[Man On p.A.] Attention, all personnel. Choppers incoming.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 38
- You know you're beautiful when you're overworked? - Hey, Hawkeye...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 39
The thousand details that clog my days and waste my nights.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 41
- Since it was left to me. - If only Frank Burns could see you now.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 42
- Severe internal bleeding. - Are you okay?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 43
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 44
I hereby give back your command, sir.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 45
Not to mention my roomie, who can't just wait for business to come in.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 46
- To a job well done. - Don't try to make up to me.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 47
- You don't know what's been going on here! - Oh, don't I?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 48
- I can't tell you how glad I am you're back. - What's that supposed to mean?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 49
- Up the rebels! - I think the real reason you did it was to spite me.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 50
- If you weren't so busy trying to undermine my authority... - [Sarcastic Laugh]

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 2
But I'm a coward. My insignia is a cringing chicken.
#2 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 3
- [Hacking] - Courage, Camille.
#3 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 4
- I will to get away from my commander. - Good! Left, left! Right, right!
#4 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 5
I know, but it doesn't look good... you know, for the guys.
#5 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 6
Potter took the key? He doesn't trust me?
#6 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 7
- Corporal Klinger reporting as ordered, sir. - Who ordered you?
#7 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 8
- Oh, boy, you could cut it with a fork. - Oh, you were built for command.
#8 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 9
Good try though. It shows initiative, persistence and a total grasp of unreality.
#9 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 10
From now on, I want a 24-hour palace guard outside these doors.
#10 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 11
Forget it. There are real patients here with real problems.
#11 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 12
Doc, could you give me something? I don't want to see.
#12 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 13
With all due respect, sir, may a pregnant camel give birth in your bunk.
#13 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 14
Pierce, you order me in, you order me out.
#14 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 15
Unless you fill out your DD-5-As from the day before.
#15 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 16
- I am! What do you want? - I don't want to sound critical.
#16 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 17
The temperature's supposed to drop down 20 degrees tonight.
#17 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 18
Plus what else?
#18 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 19
Let's not get into a snit. You'll drive yourself into a perfect tizzy.
#19 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 20 #20 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 21
Kellye, I gotta get off tonight.
#21 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 22
All right, all right. At ease. I'll settle this right now.
#22 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 23
- But he can't resist. - You've gotta compromise.
#23 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 24 #24 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 25
Always ready with the wisecracks, aren't you?
#25 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 26
- Hawk, go easy on the kid. He's on your side. - Yeah, I know.
#26 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 27
- I think the expression is "God bless you, creep." - Amen, Father.
#27 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 28
- Will you all shut up? - Ah, another county heard from.
#28 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 29
[All] Whoa-ho-ho!
#29 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 30
No, Colonel Potter's not... Colonel, is that you?
#30 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 31
No, Radar. Home where you are at the 4-0 double natural.
#31 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 32
and, uh, all he's done so far is-is clear his throat.
#32 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 33
Nah. I think I'll sleep here.
#33 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 34
- Direct hit. Got us both. It killed the aid surgeon. - Geez, what about your buddy?
#34 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 35
You tell him. I can't get an appointment.
#35 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 36
Don't yell, but you know that jeep that just come in? It just went out again with B.J. In it.
#36 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 37
[Man On p.A.] Attention, all personnel. Choppers incoming.
#37 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 38
- You know you're beautiful when you're overworked? - Hey, Hawkeye...
#38 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 39
The thousand details that clog my days and waste my nights.
#39 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 40 #40 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 41
- Since it was left to me. - If only Frank Burns could see you now.
#41 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 42
- Severe internal bleeding. - Are you okay?
#42 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 43 #43 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 44
I hereby give back your command, sir.
#44 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 45
Not to mention my roomie, who can't just wait for business to come in.
#45 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 46
- To a job well done. - Don't try to make up to me.
#46 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 47
- You don't know what's been going on here! - Oh, don't I?
#47 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 48
- I can't tell you how glad I am you're back. - What's that supposed to mean?
#48 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 49
- Up the rebels! - I think the real reason you did it was to spite me.
#49 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 7 Episode 1 (S07E01) - 50
- If you weren't so busy trying to undermine my authority... - [Sarcastic Laugh]
#50