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The Simpsons

S5 E22
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Season 5  "Secrets of a Successful Marriage"  5x22

Aired 30 years ago - May 19, 1994

Homer teaches an adult education class on successful marriage, but his students show little interest until he starts telling them juicy details of his marriage to Marge. Furious, Marge kicks Homer out.

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Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 1
Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 2
Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 3
Say some gangsta is dissin' your fly girl.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 4
- Now you try. - [ Spitting ]
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 5
What is your area of expertise?
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 6
No. Mr. Simpson, what I mean is we may have a job for you after all.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 7
- [ Children Chewing Loudly ] - Look, everyone.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 8
I think it's great you're a teacher, Dad.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 9
Can't talk now, Flanders. I've got a class to teach.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 10
- [ Tires Squealing ] - It's all right. I'm a teacher!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 11
- Down the hall, Room 1 2. - [ Mouth Full ] Thank you.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 12
Hmm.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 13
Uh-h-h-m, how about you, Otto?
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 14
Well, I'm a smart woman, but I make bad choices.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 15
- Make love to me the way you used to. - No.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 16
- [ Chewing Loudly ] - Simpson!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 17
For you see, marriage is a lot like an orange.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 18
The eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 19
So somethin' wasn't workin' in bed, huh? Heh, heh, heh.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 20
She's been as gray as a mule since she was 1 7.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 21
[ Boy On Speaker] Wait! I need closure on that anecdote.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 22
Whatever do you mean? I don't dye my hair. [ Forced Laughing ]
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 23
Marge, I didn't tell 'em personal stuff.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 24
Look, Marge. You don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there putting his ass on the line.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 25
that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 26
- [ All Groan ] - Tell us more about you and Marge.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 27
I do have a story about two other young marrieds.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 28
- We need names! - Well, let's just call 'em, uh...
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 29
Not tonight, Marge. Tonight we can eat a nice, leisurely dinner at home.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 30
Apparently, that disturbing odor was the food.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 31
Me and Milhouse took some mail from a mail truck and threw it down the sewer.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 32
Well, now that the little ones have toddled off to bed--
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 33
Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out-out-out-out-out-out-out!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 34
Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 35
You told personal things about our lives, even after you promised you wouldn't.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 36
Oh. Fine. If that's what you want, you've got it.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 37
Kids, your father and I are going through a really tough time right now...
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 38
[ Screeches ]
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 39
Sorry, Bart. Your dad kinda blew the fantasy.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 40
Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 41
[ Moans Softly ]
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 42
Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 43
[ Screams, Grunting ] Ooh.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 44
Lisa! You will respect your new mother. Now, give her a kiss.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 45
Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 46
- No. - Okay. 30.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 47
[ Moans Softly ]
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 48
I'm very flattered, but I'm not really interested.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 49
Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 50
I didn't ask her for no water. She's lyin', Homer. She told me you were dead.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 51
I give up. I don't deserve to live with you.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 2 #2 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 3
Say some gangsta is dissin' your fly girl.
#3 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 4
- Now you try. - [ Spitting ]
#4 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 5
What is your area of expertise?
#5 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 6
No. Mr. Simpson, what I mean is we may have a job for you after all.
#6 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 7
- [ Children Chewing Loudly ] - Look, everyone.
#7 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 8
I think it's great you're a teacher, Dad.
#8 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 9
Can't talk now, Flanders. I've got a class to teach.
#9 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 10
- [ Tires Squealing ] - It's all right. I'm a teacher!
#10 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 11
- Down the hall, Room 1 2. - [ Mouth Full ] Thank you.
#11 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 12
Hmm.
#12 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 13
Uh-h-h-m, how about you, Otto?
#13 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 14
Well, I'm a smart woman, but I make bad choices.
#14 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 15
- Make love to me the way you used to. - No.
#15 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 16
- [ Chewing Loudly ] - Simpson!
#16 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 17
For you see, marriage is a lot like an orange.
#17 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 18
The eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage.
#18 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 19
So somethin' wasn't workin' in bed, huh? Heh, heh, heh.
#19 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 20
She's been as gray as a mule since she was 1 7.
#20 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 21
[ Boy On Speaker] Wait! I need closure on that anecdote.
#21 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 22
Whatever do you mean? I don't dye my hair. [ Forced Laughing ]
#22 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 23
Marge, I didn't tell 'em personal stuff.
#23 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 24
Look, Marge. You don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there putting his ass on the line.
#24 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 25
that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do!
#25 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 26
- [ All Groan ] - Tell us more about you and Marge.
#26 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 27
I do have a story about two other young marrieds.
#27 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 28
- We need names! - Well, let's just call 'em, uh...
#28 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 29
Not tonight, Marge. Tonight we can eat a nice, leisurely dinner at home.
#29 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 30
Apparently, that disturbing odor was the food.
#30 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 31
Me and Milhouse took some mail from a mail truck and threw it down the sewer.
#31 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 32
Well, now that the little ones have toddled off to bed--
#32 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 33
Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out-out-out-out-out-out-out!
#33 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 34 #34 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 35
You told personal things about our lives, even after you promised you wouldn't.
#35 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 36
Oh. Fine. If that's what you want, you've got it.
#36 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 37
Kids, your father and I are going through a really tough time right now...
#37 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 38
[ Screeches ]
#38 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 39
Sorry, Bart. Your dad kinda blew the fantasy.
#39 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 40 #40 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 41
[ Moans Softly ]
#41 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 42 #42 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 43
[ Screams, Grunting ] Ooh.
#43 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 44
Lisa! You will respect your new mother. Now, give her a kiss.
#44 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 45 #45 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 46
- No. - Okay. 30.
#46 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 47
[ Moans Softly ]
#47 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 48
I'm very flattered, but I'm not really interested.
#48 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 49 #49 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 50
I didn't ask her for no water. She's lyin', Homer. She told me you were dead.
#50 Recap of The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 22 (S05E22) - 51
I give up. I don't deserve to live with you.
#51