S1 E3
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Season 1  "Chitty Chitty Death Bang"  1x3

Aired 20 years ago - Apr 18, 1999

Peter Allows Meg to go to a party with her new friend. This angers Lois because its the same day as Stewie's birthday. What Meg doesn't know is that she's actually attending a cult meeting. Peter comes to pick up Meg, when the Cult Leader follows. Stewie believes him to be the "Man in White", trying to return him to the womb.

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Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 1
I'm telling you, just be the girl you think everyone else wants you to be.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 2
Holy crap! It's The Children of the Corn!
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 3
"It seems the domestic overseers are plotting against me.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 4
[Whooshing]
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 5
"...I developed at testicular boot camp. But it was a trap!
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 6
"It seemed my prison cell was getting smaller and smaller.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 7
And now, one year hence, he's returning to rectify his mistake and...
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 8
[Laughing]
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 9
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 10
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 11
CHRIS: Hey, Dad, they even got games in the bathroom. Look, I won a balloon!
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 12
Them boys rassled for a full five minutes before the manager stepped in.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 13
Now I don't know, after the emotional trauma I've endured...
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 14
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 15
STEWIE: Here we are. "Come to Managua, the Mecca of mercenaries."
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 16
- How could you? - Lois, I got a very good reason.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 17
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 18
Absolutely. The children get to play our games.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 19
...but I love my family too much to risk their lives.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 20
Bravo, Peter. You are the Spalding Gray of crap.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 21
...right here in the safety and comfort of our own home.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 22
- You don't have any of those things. - How do you know?
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 23
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 24
- God help you if I find pickles. - Henry, I have a lost little boy.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 25
[Blower starting]
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 26
Meg, you made a friend.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 27
Forever and ever.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 28
I can't believe you'd put your family before your own daughter!
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 29
Yeah. I can do, like, a handstand, and some somersaults maybe.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 30
Stewart Gilligan Griffin runs from nothing!
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 31
As for you, kind sage, I only hope my heartfelt thanks will keep you warm...
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 32
I won't fall for this trick. Did you ask your mother?
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 33
Face it, Brian. I'm a bad father, a lousy husband, and a snappy dresser.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 34
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 35
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 36
[Oriental instrumental music]
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 37
Peter. How could you let her go?
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 38
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 39
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 40
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 41
Today means nothing if Meg isn't here.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 42
Then what is it?
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 43
I gotta make things right for Lois and get this monkey off my back.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 44
Sadly, you will be used as decoys.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 45
Our leader is here to take us on our journey!
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 46
Okay. Are you a confused adolescent desperately seeking acceptance...
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 47
Right. Dispense the refreshments.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 48
Your mom will, trust me. She remembers everything.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 49
Daddy, you must think I'm the worst daughter ever.
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 50
To family!

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 2
Holy crap! It's The Children of the Corn!
#2
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 3
"It seems the domestic overseers are plotting against me.
#3
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 4
[Whooshing]
#4
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 5
"...I developed at testicular boot camp. But it was a trap!
#5
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 6
"It seemed my prison cell was getting smaller and smaller.
#6
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 7
And now, one year hence, he's returning to rectify his mistake and...
#7
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 8
[Laughing]
#8
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 9 #9 Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 10 #10 Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 11
CHRIS: Hey, Dad, they even got games in the bathroom. Look, I won a balloon!
#11
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 12
Them boys rassled for a full five minutes before the manager stepped in.
#12
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 13
Now I don't know, after the emotional trauma I've endured...
#13
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 14 #14 Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 15
STEWIE: Here we are. "Come to Managua, the Mecca of mercenaries."
#15
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 16
- How could you? - Lois, I got a very good reason.
#16
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 17 #17 Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 18
Absolutely. The children get to play our games.
#18
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 19
...but I love my family too much to risk their lives.
#19
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 20
Bravo, Peter. You are the Spalding Gray of crap.
#20
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 21
...right here in the safety and comfort of our own home.
#21
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 22
- You don't have any of those things. - How do you know?
#22
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 23 #23 Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 24
- God help you if I find pickles. - Henry, I have a lost little boy.
#24
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 25
[Blower starting]
#25
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 26
Meg, you made a friend.
#26
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 27
Forever and ever.
#27
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 28
I can't believe you'd put your family before your own daughter!
#28
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 29
Yeah. I can do, like, a handstand, and some somersaults maybe.
#29
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 30
Stewart Gilligan Griffin runs from nothing!
#30
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 31
As for you, kind sage, I only hope my heartfelt thanks will keep you warm...
#31
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 32
I won't fall for this trick. Did you ask your mother?
#32
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 33
Face it, Brian. I'm a bad father, a lousy husband, and a snappy dresser.
#33
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 34 #34 Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 35 #35 Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 36
[Oriental instrumental music]
#36
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 37
Peter. How could you let her go?
#37
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 38 #38 Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 39 #39 Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 40 #40 Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 41
Today means nothing if Meg isn't here.
#41
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 42
Then what is it?
#42
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 43
I gotta make things right for Lois and get this monkey off my back.
#43
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 44
Sadly, you will be used as decoys.
#44
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 45
Our leader is here to take us on our journey!
#45
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 46
Okay. Are you a confused adolescent desperately seeking acceptance...
#46
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 47
Right. Dispense the refreshments.
#47
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 48
Your mom will, trust me. She remembers everything.
#48
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 49
Daddy, you must think I'm the worst daughter ever.
#49
Recap of Family Guy Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 50
To family!
#50