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SEASON
EPISODE

Season 9

Aired a month ago - Jan 17, 2018

Luke goes missing after a night out in a sketchy neighborhood. Haley is desperate to land an interview with the creator of a popular lifestyle website.

Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 1
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- With a girl? - Yeah.
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I didn't. You caught me here.
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we'll go down there and look around for him.
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- What? - Free sample.
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It was a lot scarier at dark. There was jazz.
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At least one thing is still the same.
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they haven't properly accounted for the relativistic distort...
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Nothing you could say would ever bore me.
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No. Why are you here?
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Claire, I'm so glad you called.
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That would've made him happy.
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Everybody knows who Lazlo is. He's a legend.
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What the hell?
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Um, any chance that you have, uh, seen my son?
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- Can you describe her? - Brown hair, high cheekbones...
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there's vegan cupcakes at Cupfakes,
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Cam, is it... is it... is it possible
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Smells like eternal love.
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First of all, Shirl doesn't know anything about the ashes.
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Closets Closets Closets Closets is bidding against us.
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There's your smoking gun.
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You know what you have to do?
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one for philosophy and one for geometry.
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eating your own appendix, and it does help with fine lines.
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Well, if I'm being honest, your writing sample's actually pretty good.
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Kind, that's very you of, Alex.
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Uh, frankly, it boggles the mind, but I've been running
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But th-th-that's not what this is.
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I think you will.
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I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation
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I've been putting on a brave face to squash the darkness inside of me,
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Wait, that's...
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and locked himself out.
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We have, uh...
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- As a gift! - What?
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I like my fries the way I like my Lazlo...
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We could have been friends. Well, forget it.
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Up the hill! Oh, my God! That's it!
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- No. - Oh, okay.
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...and people told him he was mad.
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into the next Disney-Facebook-Tesla-Botox.
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But...
Aired 1 months ago - Jan 10, 2018

Gloria has to rush Phil to the hospital for an emergency surgery after he experiences some intense stomach pains and rallies the entire family to be by his side.

Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 1
What? They're taking Phil to the hospital.
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Hello?
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He is? I'm on my way.
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You have to move on with life.
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If it's okay, I invited IV to come live with us.
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I spent all night trying to win it, but I just couldn't.
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Anyhoo, it's come with me
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I made one of my goodbye videos for you and the kids.
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in the spokes of the wheelchair!
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Fine. I have to pick up the party cake.
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Never?
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you'll have a gorgeous 100-year-old bride on your arm.
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Yeah, kind of like husbands. You lose one, you just get another.
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I would give my right gallbladder not to answer this question.
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You... You met him. At... At Jotham's party.
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Well, then, that's lovely.
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- Hey, Mitchell. - CAMERON: Hey.
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I do not think he's here to ply. I think he's here so you can pry.
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getting his hands all over me.
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[BIRDS CHIRPING]
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Sunglasses. Right.
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But it makes sense that a fireman would love it.
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Oh, thank God you're here.
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I don't know, but we've given out too many keys.
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You can die from that.
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Do you get all this?
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I'm suddenly feeling some tension in your shoulder here, Mitchell.
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It's such a stressful life.
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Yeah, I was actually in a band once.
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- Sure. - Thanks.
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Okay, so that's what this is?
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Y-Y-Yes, and listen, about earlier, um,
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Anyway, we've put you through enough, you should go.
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[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]
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You don't even know who it is. It's Claire. I need Surgery Bear.
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Closet.
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Well, first of all, welcome. We do have more fun.
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Yeah.
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he wouldn't have had half the fun he's had.
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Yeah, I'm gonna hold on just a little longer.
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you might want to see how Joe's party's going.
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it's harder for me to forget I'm a 45-year-old
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in an ad for chewable Prozac.
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knowing we're gonna die some day can be a good thing.
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if you weren't walking underneath a cloud for a few days.
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I said I didn't want it. Come on.
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and I don't want Caleb to get between us.
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Cam, you're not dying!
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Mitchell, I did take the test. I took it a week ago,
Aired 1 months ago - Jan 03, 2018

Claire's request to build a "She Shed" in their backyard is denied by the homeowners association. Pameron lets Cam in on a family secret that forces him to visit Mitch's therapist to work through this new information.

Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 11 (S09E11) - 1
...you're not the only one to be stung by these people.
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I'm really proud of you, Mom. Letting go shows real growth.
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It's like watching Merv Griffin interview.
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and I signed Joe up for it.
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Your second act was two acts ago.
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Let's not break out the Manny playbook just yet.
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Is this all for Lily's party? You...
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so I set up a full-service salon to do makeovers.
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I know how pricy your lady creams are.
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and it's not your fault.
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Plenty of people go to therapy.
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- Ah! - Problems? What problems?
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and that bimbo reminded him of the Bionic Woman...
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Cam, I-I-I can't face these 12-year-olds by myself.
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Mom went down to the HOA meeting to fight for her shed.
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I intercepted Mom's application
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Who knows? Maybe the HOA board will reject her application.
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Wait. Did you say you've done this before?
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- Hey, Cam. H-How you feeling? - Hi.
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All right. We are done. What do you think?
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All right, Violet, get your fancy can in the chair. You're up.
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You know what? I've never seen your dad.
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- Cam... Cam, clearly you're not okay. - Okay, you know what?
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I don't want to know what that's about.
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I love that you're here,
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Ah, yeah, with the ribbon and the swooshing.
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But all that stress brought the darkness in me.
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I'm sorry. You're just gonna rubber-stamp Princess Lisa here,
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I submitted a request to build a simple structure
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It couldn't have been easy keeping that sewer gator under wraps.
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Oh. Then I've got something for you right here.
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Then who sent me this letter? Who knew I even wanted a She Shed?
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My son was being tested as an athlete,
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and they're climbing to reach you.
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All right. Well, let's think this through.
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so you could have a stupid batting cage.
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Oh, I don't need a shed for that.
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Not after the day I've had!
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He's fine, everybody. He's fine.
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I don't know, Gloria. You seem to make him tense.
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Why?!
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Exactly what you just said,
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Are you tamping down your crazy to impress your therapist
Aired 2 months ago - Dec 13, 2017

When Claire lands a big opportunity for Pritchett's Closets, Jay expects validation for his contribution. Pam's ex-boyfriend shows up and Mitchell sees this as an opportunity to get Pam out of the house. Luke and Alex find a business opportunity.

Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 1
Now that Manny's away at college and Joe goes to kindergarten,
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Mrs. Graham, looking well! How are those peptides doing?
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Oh, I got it.
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a dead dog who left something unfetched.
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you want to see in the world...
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I want to take a moment to celebrate our rock,
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And to thank you all for your amazing accomplishments,
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which we need to pay for everybody in the unit downstairs.
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Say "oranges" one more time.
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as it what we've also been enjoying on our little lunch break...
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so, you know, hurry.
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and win back the love of my life, Miss Pam Tucker.
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Uh, I got to see man about a horse.
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God, it must've been your sister. So, guess who is in the bathroom.
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Get the hell out of my house. Close those arms.
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Great. There goes Larry again.
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Oh, it's my fault now? What's he doing to keep things interesting?
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So, yeah, I'm using her account.
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Oh. Hi, Gil.
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I can't believe what I'm sensing right now!
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A small house is cozy. How do we know this presence is bad?
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if you find something less haunted,
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- Oh, does it? - Always. In a good and permanent way.
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I just... I think he deserves a second chance.
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Sounded more pimpy than I intended.
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No, you may not! Because if you cared about my sister,
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but I will not be distracted by those beautiful big blue eyes.
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Hell, you're my family.
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Now, Pameron, Bo came back for you and baby Calhoun!
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Okay, You know what? I'll... I'll go... I'll go talk to her.
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Dad, we're having ice cream.
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While young Jay Pritchett was superstar athlete,
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Surprisingly powerful.
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would one day be the toast of the international closet world?
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You have five minutes to convince her that this house is fine!
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There is no "them," Gloria.
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I would never sell a house with faulty wiring!
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Okay... okay. The sellers are on their way home.
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I'll follow up with the escrow documents! Congrats! Ow!
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Oh, Margaret, what are my kids doing here?
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- Try again. - Fine.
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I expanded the business and doubled our profits.
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And four popes. Yes, Dad, I saw the movie.
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Instead, I had to come here and watch "Lawrence of A-Jay-bia."
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It's...
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that your heart was in the right place giving Cam back his bayonet.
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Uh, I'll be right out, sweetie.
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I see that face, I hear that voice, I go all gooey.
Aired 2 months ago - Dec 06, 2017

After leaving his real estate firm to strike out on his own, Phil decides a solo camping trip in the wild will be just what he needs to boost his confidence; Mitchell's plan to teach Cam and Lily each a lesson backfires.

Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 1
No!
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But that just made it extra fun, 'cause I got to drive us home.
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MANNY: Oh, I didn't expect you guys to be home.
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and maybe some delicious brownies that I was about to throw away
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since he was a little kid.
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- Well, can Julia hit Irvine? - Not Irvine and Tustin.
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Oh, it's okay, Shane. I know your type.
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with some of the most dangerous characters this side of Hell.
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Hey, it must be 5:00 a.m.
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- Ay, Cam... - Whack!
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my constant companion...
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All right.
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Oh talented, smart and speaks Spanish.
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- Now stand beside me and follow along. - Mm-hmm.
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- Oh, a little sensitive there. - Yeah, you have a little bite there.
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What kind of schools allow a teacher to date a student?
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So learn from my one and only parental mistake.
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Are you sure, Mom?
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I will get you to admit you sent out that video.
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There's concern about some drug traffic at this school.
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- Cop eyes. - Okay. So what's the play?
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Copy that. But in case you need backup, I should be near north campus.
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Are we gonna go outside? Yes, we are.
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- It worked. - Good.
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...a cold, brisk current,
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altogether abandoned hive.
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That sounded big, didn't it?
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I've been out of cell range for most of the day.
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No, Claire, I'm worried that a bear
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Mwah! Let me call you back a little later.
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You're a giggly one, aren't ya? Oh, I miss that sound.
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God, he must be so humiliated.
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- Yeah. And... - Mm-hmm.
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And there's a big drug deal going on tonight,
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who's helping fight the Dexomorphone problem that's plaguing...
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and your first assignment is to stay as far away as possible
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Nah, nah, I'm fine.
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She suggested we come here. I said fine.
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bad enough she's older than I am,
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You'll be surprised how much easier things get
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- Is this stuff any good? - It better be.
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You're busted. What do we got here?
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Drive strong, brother.
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I'm on my way home now, but we were down a driver,
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I didn't quit Woosnam, Keneally & Dunphy.
Aired 3 months ago - Nov 29, 2017

The family recount all their biggest celebrity encounters; Phil shows a house to his musical hero; Jay's day at jury duty takes an unexpected turn; Manny's encounter with his favorite playwright doesn't go as expected.

Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 1
Terry Bradshaw. I love Terry Bradshaw!
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and I believe it's all about teamwork.
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- It's Sam Anvilmaker. - Who?
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He writes in a hollowed-out tree somewhere in Montana.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 5
- Uh, excuse me, Mr. Anvilmaker? - Let me guess...
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 6
So go and find someone else to venerate.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 7
Not him. No.
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CAMERON: We both don't need a pair. We can just share these.
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selects an unsuspecting couple at a home store.
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Yeah, one word, three syllables, starts with "gah," ends with "zebo."
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 11
I don't know. Oh, my gosh, Mitchell, do you like this planter?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 12
Couples on those shows always have conflict.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 13
Let's go find him and drum up an argument.
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in my... nether region.
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When you're ready for it, you get a T-shirt,
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Oh, that's not what...Oi... I meant...
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 18
Excuse me, Mr. Bradshaw. Jay Pritchett, juror number 3.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 19
He said "yes"!
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"Smokey and the Bandit II." Now that was a challenge.
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I happen to be proud of that movie.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 22
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You sent a cow heart to a children's soccer referee.
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Come on, we both know that your attitude is just a defense mechanism
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 26
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- Privy. - Okay.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 29
Okay, rein it in.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 30
I'm sorry. Didn't mean to offend you.
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- Oh, you're judging me? - No, no.
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I'm giving you an I.V. bag of antibiotics
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 35
Terry, can we talk? Please don't shut me out.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 36
ever been the victim of a violent crime?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 37
Your Honor, we'd like to dismiss Juror number 3.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 38
But Terry had to sign it.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 39
No. I want a picture with you.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 40
You're even more beautiful than you are in Phil's photos.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 41
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And what are you beautiful, uh, scholars reading?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 43
- DONNA: That is so you! - Hey, Phil. Our photo got 25,000 likes.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 44
Hey... Where are you off to, stranger?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 45
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The last song I wrote was about my helicopter.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 47
I know something you could do for him.
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♪ Oh, Dunphy, Dunphy, Dunphy ♪
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Yeah, we gave him everything he wants...
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 50
- Can I help you guys? - Yeah, how about an explanation?
Aired 3 months ago - Nov 15, 2017

During Jay’s Thanksgiving toast, he honors the entire family on their recent successes, even though everyone knows that isn’t quite true. As everyone desperately tries to hide the facts about their perceived triumphs, Phil works hard to master a classic magic trick and prove he’s not the family failure,

Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 1
It's about positive versus negative reinforcement.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 2
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that tux will be 80% off in Tammy Bosworth's dorm room.
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I know that you're gonna make us oh-so proud!
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Haley! Showtime!
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So naturally, they would thumb their nose at a classic trick
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 7
I'm gonna take care of something upstairs.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 8
There's my guy.
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Hello?
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Well, thanks to you,
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 11
A touchdown will win the game.
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are going to be thinking pass, which is why we're going to run.
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Dolphins win! Dolphins win!
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I'm a fraud.
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in your soul where childhood traumas go.
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Oh, hey Gloria. Sure love those bangs.
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Here we are.
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Awesome. To make up for the time I lost,
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 19
Abraka-failure.
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I-I-I think I'll... I'll probably just take a quick minute.
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No, no, it's not an emergency.
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just how much fun you've... dialed up.
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I hear the Nazis have booby-trapped these,
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Blast!
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If I can't do this trick, my magic shop
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We'll blow up a frame of you in the lead and run a big ad...
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Phil, this better be an emergency.
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I did it! I won! I won!
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because you cut two miles out of a six-mile race.
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No problem.
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I'm gonna post this on Inseam.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 34
Thank you, sweetie.
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Oh.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 38
as an open-space magician?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 39
I had a falling-out with his teacher.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 40
We have children here from many ethnicities,
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 41
"We"?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 42
You must have been so cute.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 43
It's no use! I can't do it!
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 44
Hey, Google, how much time left on the turkey?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 45
so now it's Joe's turn.
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The white man took pity on these primitives
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and we bestowed them with our nation's highest honor...
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You've been lying to me
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But then I learned that Claire was going on a Turkey Trot.
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'Cause this thing says she never got near it.
Aired 3 months ago - Nov 01, 2017

Claire is determined to make up for her less-than-joyful mood at Jay and Gloria’s wedding by throwing their tenth-anniversary party.

Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 1
Morning, beautiful.
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He walked Gloria down the aisle, did the calligraphy.
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but you're not making the most of your college experience
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So hit the road, and we'll see you at Thanksgiving.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 5
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and shrunk my wedding dress.
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I'm the coolest person that's ever been in here.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 8
Well, the place looks great. Can you imagine coming here every day?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 9
in the presence of a non-licensed magician.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 10
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so they moved on to me.
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That's because she misses Manny. Today, you're Manny.
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No. It's terrible, Jay.
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♪ That old black magic ♪ ♪ that you weave so well ♪
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that I'd beg to be back in the act, didn't you?
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And hurry! The party starts real soon!
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 18
I've watch you shrink in their presence.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 19
And just once, I would love to watch your talent soar
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Hey, Beardy. Have you seen Manny Delgado?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 21
I thought I was persona non grata.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 22
- That's been working? - Shut up.
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as if it's something I did in your best interest.
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Which isn't enough time to tell a story.
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I'm in the bathroom! Come in!
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 26
You, uh...
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 27
Just like the hero of that rock opera I never finished.
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And now it is my pleasure
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Okay. Okay.
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♪ Icy fingers up and down my spine ♪
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You know, he was raised a mama's boy.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 32
And there is someone that we haven't heard from yet.
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♪ When faced with black magic? ♪
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Thank you very much.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 35
No. They're Gloria's family. Unlike some people, they feel things.
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I-I... Did you hear those people cheering?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 37
- 'cause I transformed you. - Okay.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 38
Or I change into an old pair of pajamas
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 39
he missed a phone call for a job to do boat magic.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 40
I got that call when you weren't home
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- I b... - Who's ready for some magic?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 42
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Whoo! Yes, drums! Yes!
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iHola! I want to come out!
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 46
That's why I slipped her those three drinks at the reception.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 47
My own wife is the reason I don't have a career in magic,
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Aah!
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I really don't care.
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What kind of sick game are you two playing?
Aired 4 months ago - Oct 25, 2017

Phil and Claire still want to celebrate Halloween in a big way, but it seems no one shares their same enthusiasm making them wonder if maybe everyone is right. Over at the Pritchett's, Mitch and Cam are frustrated by how long Jay is taking to finish their kitchen remodel, which forces Mitch to finally stand up to his dad. Meanwhile, Gloria's hospitality is wearing thin when Cam oversteps his boundaries as a house guest. MORE -LESS

Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 1
I was going to make Joe's oatmeal.
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Ow!
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and to never kick them out,
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 4
I want my kitchen back.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 5
Do something.
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Destiny was the name of the casting director
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 7
I even crushed the modesty after.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 8
Only the best sorority.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 9
Come with me.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 10
♪ Let's dance, the last dance ♪
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 11
Uh, I would like to see the kitchen.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 12
Now, wait a second.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 13
Okay, you know? Y... y... yes!
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 14
particularly from someone who was in one for 22 years,
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- How'd it feel? - I didn't love it.
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or a high-school production of "Nunsense."
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Let me just strap on this bad boy.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 18
It's one of the four biggest prank days of the year.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 19
Oh, I'm gonna teach them a lesson,
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 20
if you don't finish your homework.
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There's no way to say that that doesn't sound braggy.
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Next thing I know, Daddy's pulling the pumpkin
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 23
you know, and the right to name the next tornado.
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It's one of the perks of working at Pritchett's Closets.
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The pressure to dress up!
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- [EMPLOYEES MURMUR IN RELIEF] - Oh. Yeah.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 28
It's a zombie attack.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 29
Ow, God! I am so sorry!
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 30
So I had to break it off with Carla
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 31
Sorry I'm late.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 32
I knew there was one perfect thing
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 33
so I could objectify her.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 34
just in time for the pumpkin weigh-in.
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Siamese twins have more privacy than me!
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It's better that I know how you actually feel.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 37
I'll just quickly gather my things, take that bath,
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 38
Only I swapped out silly string for broad swords
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 39
Nooooo!
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 40
[SOBBING] Where's Fluffy?! I can't find Fluffy!
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 41
And what is a city, but...
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 42
This crystal in the middle acted like a magnifying glass.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 43
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And it died so hard.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 45
Turns out you're just the weird guy
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 46
Who cares what anybody thinks?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 47
Like, you know something's bad,
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 48
Whew!
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 49
It's been really great, but now it's over.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 50
We were drunk, okay?
Aired 4 months ago - Oct 18, 2017

Jay’s best friend, Shorty, is back from Costa Rica but spends more time with Gloria than Jay. Alex is ready to shed her good-girl image and is going to prove to Claire that her relationship with Ben is definitely a sexual one.

Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 1
- and I'm getting really tired of this. - Oh, calm down.
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- Hey, honey. - Hi, Dad.
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This doesn't feel like it's about me.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 4
You're not gonna become one of those over-scheduled kids
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 5
And we said, "Or, you rich queens",
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 6
Jersey. Right.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 7
- Oh, and I used to be so uptight. - But look at us now.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 8
It's Burberry from Harrods in London. Right?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 9
and Cam tells me that we have a sports package.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 10
Come walk us to the door.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 11
What's in it?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 12
to show her what kind of man you are.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 13
and last night's fries were fantastic.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 14
Okay, I'll tell you what. Why don't you get out of those pajamas...
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 15
I got a little thing this morning at the office.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 16
Pepper says anyone who's still doing tomato-basil
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 17
Well, you aren't at Pepper and Ronaldo's house.
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- Things break. - I'll pay for it.
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how lucky I am to live here.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 20
You know what I'm in the mood for?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 21
Hey, guys. Cool painting. Who did it?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 22
It's aggressive.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 23
maybe over dinner with her and Ben...
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You know the rules. Helmet.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 25
Oh, sorry, I kind of lost track of time.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 26
Well, I would love to, but, uh...
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 27
You're turning Shorty into Manny.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 28
You are the son that he's talking about.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 29
I mean, we're their friends.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 30
Oh, goodness, we feared you two
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 31
I haven't even gotten to say,
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 32
You know, art and culture and good food...
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 33
Well, I did see him spit some sashimi into a napkin,
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 34
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Okay, Lionel, bring me home.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 36
I was skeptical at first
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 37
Oh. How many scenes does kickball have?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 38
Mi amor, it's okay.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 39
I hate sports and nature and... and sherbet...
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 40
I mean it.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 41
You told Lily that she was lucky to live with us.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 42
I thought good parents
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 43
You can swing by and pick him up on your way.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 44
I worked so hard all day
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 45
Don't freak out, babe. That's exactly what she wants.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 46
I have to admit, I feel slightly uncomfortable.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 47
- You two need to loosen up a little. - That's not what I meant.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 48
This is exactly what you and your dad always did to me.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 49
the way that Jay tore me down,
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 50
No one was good enough for his little girl, and...
Aired 4 months ago - Oct 11, 2017

Phil thinks he's going to have a day of bad luck after he doesn't complete his daily superstition. Mitch believes Cam is undermining him during their kitchen renovation.

Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 1
leave her at the beach.
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Then why did you learn Italian?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 3
Are you eavesdropping on Pam again?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 4
Let me get to the dirty parts...
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 5
of the country-fair mule drag.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 6
I wish I couldn't even hear her at all!
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 7
So, look, but I do want to talk about the sink before you leave.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 8
How one of his little pouches on his tool belt
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 9
I mean, maybe I'm too passive,
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 10
Here you go, Boss.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 11
Eyes... Eyes over here, okay? This... This is my thing.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 12
Anything else?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 13
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 14
I know she got to you, but, uh...
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 15
What do you mean you like it when it melts?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 16
Let's go, Joe. Now that you're awake,
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 17
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 18
You can put away this nice, soft, fluffy laundry.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 19
I was putting away that harmless laundry
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 20
Seriously?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 21
- Oh, do you have the tickets? - They're in the car,
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 22
Man plans to go to Steely Dan. God laughs.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 23
You lure them with kindness.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 24
There is just... one more thing.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 25
That's not my car.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 26
Don't you see what this is doing to me?!
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 27
It was hard at first... The twitching thumbs,
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 28
I even found an old book in the truck and started reading it.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 29
Excuse me!
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 30
I'm going to Disneyland with Tricia's family.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 31
Okay. You also thought that the cavemen killed the dinosaurs.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 32
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 33
and now I'm worried that you're doing the same thing with Francisco.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 34
Come on. Yeah. You know what?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 35
Talking like a girl from Cricketsville...
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 36
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 37
You always had the prettiest voice in Central America.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 38
You ruined everything, you giant, horse-faced dummy.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 39
And I needed a job where I could stay at home with the baby.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 40
Just could've said "snob."
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 41
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 42
Yeah, she'll do that to you.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 43
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 44
Hey, while you're here, I wouldn't mind picking your brain
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 45
It happened.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 46
So, imagine I'm entertaining.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 47
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 48
'cause it... I want to make him happy.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 49
What in the he...
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 50
What? Really?
Aired 4 months ago - Oct 04, 2017

Phil and Claire realize that Alex may be more self-sufficient in college than they thought. Manny works to avoid a tearful goodbye after Gloria and Jay move him into his dorm. Hayley gets an unexpected opportunity.

Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 1
I hope you're not... driving.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 2
It shows.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 3
for whoever stuck their neck out to get you this job.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 4
than my dad's had in a lifetime.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 5
Huh, they seem to be turning down our street.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 6
searching for a way to justify the remodel of our kitchen.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 7
Well, it appears we found our smoking "bun."
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 8
Oh, I completely forgot you guys were coming.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 9
Guess you can use that one for parts.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 10
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 11
But, uh, thank you so much for visiting.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 12
Look what we did.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 13
Do you think something's going on?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 14
As someone who has actually had a gun to her head,
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 15
I'm not here, okay?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 16
I needed my white noise machine.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 17
so we can salvage our perfect goodbye?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 18
I'm gonna take a shower. Eh-eh-eh!
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 19
Where... Oh! Lily, do our tea cup first!
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 20
Well, that's dumb.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 21
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 22
I- I-I think I accidentally, on purpose,
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 23
Cam, you're about to feel a lot better
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 24
It's okay. You can swear in front of me.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 25
You know, would you like to be my personal assistant?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 26
Uh, he's a little younger than I normally do.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 27
I'm not even sure I want to be a cart girl anymore.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 28
There's opportunity for advancement.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 29
Mm.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 30
Gloria, you messed up the TV,
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 31
Joe?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 32
Manny was doing all these things?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 33
he'll be in tears in two seconds.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 34
I'm the one that is sad, not you.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 35
You can't go in there without putting on a sterile suit
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 36
That was designed to perform cardiovascular surgery.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 37
Okay, well, your father and I were leaving your room,
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 38
Or, maybe I just didn't like the dress.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 39
Alex
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 40
that doesn't exist?
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 41
İf you really must know,
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 42
And of course I had to put on my best dress for my big moment.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 43
Everywhere but here.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 44
You're way further along than I am.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 45
Yeah, we are parenting at the highest possible level.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 46
Mini-bar's stocked with rosé and Ensure.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 47
Kind of rounded up there.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 48
Thanks, boss.
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 49
Recap of Modern Family Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 50
Aired 5 months ago - Sep 27, 2017

Jay forces the family to take their family vacation on a houseboat on a lake. Mitchell runs into an old flame and opens some old wounds. Cam has to stay out of the sun at all costs. Phil and Claire try out some adventureous excursions. The kids' quest for a good time may not be as fun as they expected.