Status
Continuing
Next episode
in a month
Airs
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX (US)
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 9

Aired 19 years ago - May 17, 1998

Homer and Marge try to spice up their love life and are caught baring it all in public. Bart and Lisa discover an alternate ending to Casablanca.

Aired 19 years ago - May 10, 1998

Bart’s latest stunt thwarts Lisa’s plan to attend a museum exhibit. When she tries to go alone and takes the wrong bus, Homer sets out to find her.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 24 (S09E24) - 1
[Bell Jingling]
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- [Both Grunting] - [Snoring]
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Well, let's see what we got in the old drawer.
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It's the first time these Egyptian artifacts have been allowed out of England.
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we'll be in a three-hour line to see the Orb of Isis.
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Mom, I didn't eat any of it. I'm not stupid.
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Alone? Absolutely not. It's just too dangerous for an eight-year-old.
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- [Snoring] - [Phone Ringing]
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$200? Oh! Isn't there any other way?
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- V.D. clinic. - [Gasps] Look!
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I'm sorry. It's just that on the school bus-
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- Question the first- - Never mind.
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Tuesday, Thursday, it's the 22-A.
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[Sighs] I should've got off in Crackton.
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[Sighs] How could I confuse bus 22 with 22-A?
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Girlie Sue's gonna have a elegant weddir feast.
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- Hop on in. Mind the skunk. - [Insects Buzzing]
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[Chuckles] I mean, they're humorous and all...
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Yes, I think a series of painful injections...
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Oh, didn't I? [Chuckling]
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- [Eating Loudly] - Oh, yeah. This is good.
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My daughter's at that Egyptian dealie right now.
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And then it got really hot and caught on fire!
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Excuse me. Can you tell me how to get to the museum?
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[Panting] Oh, that's it. I give up.
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Has anyone seen my little girl?
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- Shouldrt you be at work right now? - Uh, yes, sir, Mr. Burns, sir.
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Oh.
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Deal!
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Lisa! Save me!
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[Yelling]
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please save me, Superman.
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- I mean, a drawbridge did close on your head. - Nah, I'll just walk it off.
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If I hadrt have taken a stupid risk with that cherry picker...
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- Dad! - [Chuckling]
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See the Isis exhibit! But the museum's closed.
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Lisa, we're home! Sorry about the museum!
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Okay, be that way! Be a big, stupid jerk!
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Aired 19 years ago - May 03, 1998

After Rainier Wolfcastle helps Homer get in shape, Homer accepts a challenge to climb the Murderhorn, the tallest mountain in Springfield.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 1
[Chuckles] We- Sports on a Sunday?
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Why don't you go capture me some more potato salad.
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[Chuckles] Stupid kids.
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- [Shouting Continues] - [Milhouse] He's gettir away!
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- Time out! - Oh, I don't think he can get up.
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Me? I'm not the one who puts butter in your coffee.
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- [Screeches] - Oh, great. Now the cat knows.
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[Inales Deeply] Look, Son. Daddy got in shape.
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[Panting]
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Your usual bucket of ice cream covered with miniature pies?
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Oh, yes. That is a new item. No bar contains more applesauce.
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Excuse me. You're doing this station all backwards.
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- [Grunting] - Push. Harder.
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Hello, handsome. Nice muscles.
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Oh, my goodness gracious!
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Well, what do you think of your old man now, Son?
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Bart's a tub. Lisa's weak as a little girl.
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Homer, please remember to wipe your sweat off that machine.
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- climb the highest mountain in Springfield. - The Murderhorn.
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My dad could do it. He eats 50 dollars' won'th of Powersauce bars a day.
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Just to the right of the one you're looking at.
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You'll die up there, just like I did.
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Heroically, I gave him the last short stack.
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I fell 8,000 feet onto a pile of jagged rocks.
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Hey. My hat has earflaps.
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Has anyone mentioned that Homer doesn't know anything about mountain climbing...
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You're not risking your life just to impress me, are you?
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Don't get discouraged, Dad. Only four vertical miles to go.
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Huh?
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without the engineered nutrition of six kinds of apples?
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Brad and Neil were quite insistent you not die.
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- Whoo-hoo! - [Laughing]
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They're made of apple cores and Chinese newspapers.
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has switched to Powersauce's archrival, the Vita-Peach Health Log.
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- as long as he's with those Sherpas. - Uh, Mom.
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[Groans] Air's getting thin.
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♪♪ [Humming]
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Just a few feet more.
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It just keeps going! [Sobbing] I give up.
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[Yelps]
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Cheerio."
Aired 19 years ago - Apr 26, 1998

Homer feuds with the Springfield garbage men and decides to run for Sanitation Commissioner. After winning the election with a sleazy campaign, Homer can’t keep the extravagant promises he made to the town.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 22 (S09E22) - 1
But I can rebuild!
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- What did you call us? - I don't know. A lot of people were yelling stuff.
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Hey, I'd rather live in a dump than in a world run by snooty garbagemen.
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- So long, chicken bone. - See you in hell, brussels sprouts.
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- Ow! - Sorry, Ned. I didn't see you down there!
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Three, two, one.
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And the school nurse says Bart has the plague.
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- I think you're starting to crack. - Apologize for that remark!
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Your father- me- beat city hall.
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That rhymes, Marge, and you know it rhymes. Admit it!
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I'm not trying to scare you. I'm trying to get my work done.
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You'll never silence me! I'm the last angry man, Patterson-
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[Gasps] Well, we'll see about that!
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Hey, vote Simpson. Hi. Nice to see you.
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but I don't know if I'd trust him with my garbage.
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Sit down! Sit down! You're ruining it for everyone!
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Okay. Camera two.
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I know you youngsters want to see these rockir rockers...
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That affects the whole damn planet.
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- [Cheering] - Springfield!
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[Crowd Booing]
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♪♪ [Singing]
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Uh, gee, you're kind of all over the place there, Homer. You need to focus here.
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Can't someone else do it?
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- [Woman] Yeah! - Yeah!
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That's not America. That's not even Mexico!
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- [Gulping] - [Laughing]
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Oh, come on, people.
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Well, then you'd better turn up your hearing aid, Pops.
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All right. Fine.
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[Muttering]
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Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, Ray.
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You are going to crash and burn...
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We can always buy more.
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♪♪ [Singing Continues]
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Wait! I think I've got the perfect solution.
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They let me sign checks with a stamp, Marge. A stamp!
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[Whistling]
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- who wants to guess how I got the money? - Dealing drugs?
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Other cities don't want it, so they pay me to dump it...
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Marge! lxnay on the ash holetray.
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[Liquid Gurgles]
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Aired 19 years ago - Apr 19, 1998

Lisa becomes the anchor of a kids’ news program but is upstaged by Bart’s treacly human interest stories. At home, Homer corrupts a helper monkey.

Aired 19 years ago - Apr 05, 1998

Facing an IRS audit, Homer agrees to help the feds bust Mr. Burns for a missing trillion-dollar bill. When Burns makes an anti-government stand, Homer flees with him to Cuba.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 20 (S09E20) - 1
Hmm! Until you're willing to file jointly, back of the line, Seymour!
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and the wrath and the truncheons. [Gibberish]
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Sir, why did you wait until the last minute to pay your taxes?
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Will you look at those morons?
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year-wise, I was counting forward from the last previous-
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Shut up, shut up! If I don't hear you, it's not illegal. Okay, I need some deductions.
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- [Door Slams] - [Vehicle Rapidly Departs]
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- What'll it be? - Hmm. Only one, huh?
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Homer Simpson? United States government.
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You work and you slave and you steal just enough...
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Mr. Simpson, this government computer can process over nine tax returns per day.
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You won't be seeing any prison movies where you're going- prison!
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- No. It makes you look like a tool of government oppression. - But not fat?
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Looks like a good one. Any of you involved in any illegal activity?
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Or that telemarketing scam you pulled?
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That'll teach 'em to drag their feet on high definition TV!
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- You have a flair for treachery. - Well, I'm just glad it's all over.
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We're here. Get in.
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is top secret and contains adult situations.
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who fought so poorly and surrendered so readily.
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Unfortunately, the money never arrived.
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We believe Burns still has that bill hidden somewhere in his house.
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And remember, this information is highly classified.
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- I hope you enjoy it. - Oh, stop fishing for compliments, Smithers.
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I'm in.
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[Chuckles] Employee, eh?
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It'll, uh, be a few minutes.
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[Whispering] Starting search for trillion-dollar bill.
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What is this? What are you doing?
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Well, I won't go without a fight. Wink, wink! [Chuckles] Let me show you around.
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- the suit Charlie Chaplin was buried in. - Eww!
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- Hey, that guy looks like you. - Oh-ho! That's me, all right-
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[Chuckles] That would be pretty careless of me, wouldn't it?
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Every year you make hardworking joes like my reporter friend here pay income taxes.
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Oh, you can silence me, but you can't silence Collier's magazine.
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Faster, Simpson. Those jackbooted G-men won't be far behind.
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All right, all right. Keep your top on.
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Be on the lookout for a 1936 maroon Stutz Bearcat.
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We'll purchase a small island somewhere and start our own country...
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I can buy and sell your sorry ass.
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Remove the chocks, Simpson!
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Turn back immediately or we will be unable to prosecute you.
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Any of these islands would make a fine new country.
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Sorry about the landing, boys.
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It's carne de burro.
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Aired 19 years ago - Mar 29, 1998

When Homer joins the Naval Reserve, a captain takes a liking to him and leaves him in charge of a nuclear submarine.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 19 (S09E19) - 1
After basic training, you'll only have to work one weekend a month.
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Just fill out this form, and you're on your way to the reserve.
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Nice fella. I wonder if he's gay.
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[Speaking Loud] Sorry, I can't hear you, Marge. I'm clapping.
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I'm joinir too!
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The Deer Hunter? Uh, huh-That reminds me.
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of which you are now a part.
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No way, man. My hair is who I am!
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Tuck in that shirt. Shine those shoes, mister.
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[Chuckles] Well, I'm no Margaret Cho...
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[Speaking With French Accent] Congratulations! You are all pastry chefs!
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Milhouse, my mom wears earrings.
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Hey, if you want cool, check this out.
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- Well, I'm a Gypsy. - [Chuckles] Oh, really? Prove it.
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Ah, that's not a war story! I'll tell ya a war story!
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##[Orchestra]
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Joining the reserves was the best thing I ever did.
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Get back here, boy. You're a disgrace to this family...
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I don't believe this. Everyone's got an earring.
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It's pronounced, "nuc-u-lar."
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Can't we all just get along?
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Fine. Take it.
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Uh, is the poop deck really what I think it is?
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the crew sings this ancient sea chanty:
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Tell me, young man. What do you want out of life?
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[Chuckling] Oh, Simpson! You're like the son I never had.
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or the nitrogen bubbles in my brain...
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Oh, for God's sake!
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Fifteen seconds to collision. We need a decision.
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Fire! Not me, a torpedo!
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- [Engines Come Back On] - ##[Stops]
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Very well, then. I'm a captain.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 19 (S09E19) - 40
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Mm, yes! Uh-huh.
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Steady as she goes- On second thought, go right.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 19 (S09E19) - 43
Well, sir, "treason season" started early this year...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 19 (S09E19) - 44
He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist-
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 19 (S09E19) - 45
[Laughing] Yes! That's what we wanted you to think!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 19 (S09E19) - 46
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and Sherri, but not Terri.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 19 (S09E19) - 48
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Please remain calm, and think of your loved ones.
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Aired 19 years ago - Mar 22, 1998

At Marge’s insistence, Bart has a “play date” with Ralph. Bart suddenly sees the upside of this friendship when he discovers Chief Wiggum’s “master key” and goes to explore Springfield’s abandoned prison.

Aired 19 years ago - Mar 08, 1998

Lisa struggles with solving a simple puzzle and fears that the "Simpson gene” is suddenly wiping out her intelligence. Homer stages a family reunion in hopes of introducing Lisa to some Simpsons she can respect.

Aired 19 years ago - Mar 01, 1998

Moe goes broke trying to wine and dine a new girlfriend. Desperate for money, he cooks up an insurance scam with Homer.

Aired 19 years ago - Feb 22, 1998

Krusty bombs at a charity comedy event and feels like a tired old hack. With the Simpsons’ support, Krusty takes his act in a fresh new direction… but in the end, his true nature asserts itself.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 15 (S09E15) - 1
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- Didrt he die in a grease fire? - No, he's alive.
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[Groans] Boy, swipe one pair of Haggar slacks...
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- It's just a word at the end of the dictionary. - I still don't get it.
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And this guy, uh, with all the jokes he does.
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[Laughing]
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Hey, hey. [Goofy Laugh]
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you don't have leftovers, you have reruns.
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[Groans] What's he gonna do next, the flapping dickey?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 15 (S09E15) - 11
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Really? Lisa, huh?
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[Scoffs] That guy cheapens our whole profession.
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[Groaning]
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Phew.
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- [Chittering] - Aw, that's your answer to everything!
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[Speaking Spanish]
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[Cheering]
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Oh, this sucks. I am out of here.
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No, let's poke him a little while longer.
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We'll have to work out a system of blinks.
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- Uh, Krusty. - Hang on, kid. I got a tack in my head.
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but I was too busy selling out.
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Oh, no question.
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Well, these days, people like observational humor...
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Shut up, kid. Come on, Leno. Tamper, teach, impart.
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Krusty the Clown!
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For example, have you ever noticed how there are two phone books...
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I also have to go. Boo!
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"From fields where glory will not stay...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 15 (S09E15) - 35
'Cause comedy ain't funny anymore.
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These comics today.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 15 (S09E15) - 37
Who they slept with. What time they sit on the can.
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- Is this thing on? - No. Sorry, Moe.
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tellir me about "the horrors of an 'unfresh' bowl."
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Oh, you're burning it all wrong, Seymour.
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Wow, they're hanging on his every word.
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Oh, knock it off, Homer. You're the fattest one in the car.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 15 (S09E15) - 46
But you're out there on the edge. You're doir it for the sheer thrill.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 15 (S09E15) - 47
I guess you Wall Street weasels didn't get the word. Krusty's not for sale.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 15 (S09E15) - 48
a free, fully-loaded Canyonero.
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I brought a bag of money in case he wants us to burn it again.
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[Cheering]
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- [Murmuring] - Hey, Krusty, what are you talking about?
Aired 19 years ago - Feb 15, 1998

When Otto drives the school bus off a bridge, the kids wind up on a deserted island, fending for themselves in a “Lord of the Flies” parody. Back in Springfield, Homer takes on Bill Gates.

Aired 19 years ago - Feb 08, 1998

A cult lures in most of Springfield to toil for “The Leader.” After Marge escapes and has the family deprogrammed, Homer exposes the man behind the spaceship.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 1
tried to sell me a time-share vacation condo?
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♪♪ [Singing]
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Why don't you come chat with us about the Leader at the welcome center?
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Wow! A free movie! Thanks!
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I don't know about you, but they're not exactly winning me over...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 6
Going somewhere? Uh, though you're free to do so.
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- Not a guarantee. - Loving serenity. It's about damn time!
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- [Chirping] - [Giggling]
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And I can be kind of thick sometimes. [Chuckles]
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Why isn't our low-protein gruel wearing down his resistance like all the others?
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We surrender our will as of this date.
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was our life savings, the deed to the house...
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- Does this really change our day-to-day lives? - Of course not-
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 15
calling themselves "the Movementarians."
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I love you, perfect Leader, and new C.E.O. of KBBL Broadcasting.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 17
That's a negatory, good buddy!
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Of course you do.
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Oh, Lord. Uh, try the emergency plate, Ned.
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- [All Gasping] - [Woman] He's coming!
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I am even dustier. Dustier than thou!
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and corporate loopholes, we only pay three dollars a year.
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Uh, sir? You have to tell me what your plan is, or- or nothing will happen.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 24
All right then. Uh, how about this?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 25
Mr. Burns.
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[Screams]
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- Hey. Remember our agreement. I'm the man. - You're the man!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 28
Oh. I should know this one.
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##[Singing]
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We hate it here! And your family wants to leave.
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[Coughs] You've gotta help me.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 34
deprogram him for 100, and I'll kill him for 500.
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You don't look anything like the beans.
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[Chattering]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 39
more than having your very own brand-new hover bikes?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 40
- [All Groan] - [Laughs]
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Now, what's so all-fire great about your fancy-pants Leader?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 42
Anyone like a draft beer?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 43
[Thinking] Go ahead. Give in. Beer! Beer!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 13 (S09E13) - 44
Well, I would say the matter is settled.
Aired 19 years ago - Jan 11, 1998

When the carnival comes to town, Homer and Bart wind up working the ring toss. A father-son team of grifters shows them the downside of the “carny code,” but the Simpsons beat them at their own game.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 1
- Ooh! Ooh! Me first. - You can't go on that. You have a heart condition.
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He's not just some guy, Marge.
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Do you dare enter the Screamatorium of Dr. Frightmarestein?
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[Man] l"vant"your blood.
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Sorry.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 7
Three rings for a dollar. Who's ready? Who's ready?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 8
Hey, saw-top. Want your dad to win you a TV?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 9
Aw, listen, fella. I got a son of my own. Here.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 10
- Ooh. Aah. - Wow, it's "Euro-rific."
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- Bart! - What in the name of high school football?
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[Screaming]
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Why, you just damaged the main attraction of my carnival, son.
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Mmm. Well, I still can't let him off the hook.
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Mmm. All right. See you tomorrow, 6:00 a.m.
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[Ringing]
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- you won't get your snow cone. - Aw, heck.
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Have a seat. Spud, throw a couple more apples in the caramel.
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Name's Cooder. This my boy, Spud.
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- Fry up some cheese? - Hose down the freaks?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 21
- [Man Grunts] - Ow! [Groans]
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- Uh, Bart? - Yeah, Dad?
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Dad, we're saved!
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the main thing is to bring in the rubes.
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Lookee, lookee. Hey, hey. Wocka, wocka. I got rings and you want 'em.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 26
- [Laughing] - Oh! Well.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 27
- Well, that's no good. - Oh!
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We're natural-born carnies, Dad.
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Maybe we can reach a little, uh, understanding here.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 30
No. He's Bart.
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Oh, good Lord. Our whole life was in that trailer.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 33
Look at 'em, Bart. If a carny can wind up homeless, it can happen to anyone.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 34
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So, Mr. Cooder, how long have you been in the traveling amusement industry?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 38
- Spud taught me that. - Good one, Spud.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 39
'Cause we just happen to have some tickets.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 40
[Chattering, Laughing]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 41
I wish we had a glass-bottom car.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 42
Hey, someone's boarded up our windows.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 43
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Sure, we'll help you. Just sit down and wait for Detective Like-l-Give-A-Damn.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 45
So? I let you use my leaves.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 46
- ##[Continues] - Oh, no. The spit valve!
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Throw another one of them photo albums on the fire.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 48
We can't just give up our home.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 49
- I've got it! - No fires!
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Or-
Aired 19 years ago - Jan 04, 1998

Homer rents a Clint Eastwood movie and is dismayed to find it's a musical. Using clips from past episodes, the rest of the family reminds him about the many times he and other members of the family and town have broken into song and dance.

Aired 19 years ago - Dec 21, 1997

After accidentally ruining the family’s Christmas tree and presents, Bart buries the evidence and claims a burglar stole everything. When Kent Brockman does a human interest story on the family’s tragic loss, the townspeople shower the family with generosity… until the truth comes out.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 1
Hello? Anybody home?
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The Indians used to drink water to wake up early for their attacks.
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Go! Go! Go! We're number one!
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[Sighs] How sweet it is.
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Oh, Aunt Selma. Always good for a fin.
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[Gasps, Gulps] I gotta get back to bed.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 13
I came down a little early, and...
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- We were robbed? - [Sobbing] Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
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Now, uh, what did this Christmas thief look like?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 16
Aw, cheer up. We'll catch this guy.
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Bart's absolutely right.
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##[Christmas Carols On Stereo]
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[Honking]
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- Ow! - [Marge] Homer!
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##[Continues]
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You take that back, Barney.
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Aw, that's my girl. I love you, Marjorie.
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The words of a heartbroken mother.
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Well, we got a 30-footer, so you can have the top of ours.
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- We want you to have this dollar we were saving. - Please, I don't deserve this.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 29
15,000 Missoulians? Holy "schlamola"!
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- Something stupid. - You only live once. - Speak for yourself.
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Oh, I'm sorry. I jabbed you with my pen.
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[Honking Horn]
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- Oh, I knew this would happen. - Well...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 36
- No burglar? - What does he mean, no burglar?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 37
- Stop that. - I'm gonna kill him. - No, I'm killing him first.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 38
Uh, hello, jerk.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 39
Hey, look. It's little Bart's fire truck.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 40
I destroyed the presents. Then I buried the evidence. And I acted alone.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 41
So this was all a scam.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 42
but this putrid fraud "out-stinks" them all.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 43
I think they're running out of tomatoes.
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A family could get used to being shunned, huh? Huh?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 46
Now turn your desk around and stop learning.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 47
Then while we're gone, you take our snacks.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 48
There's only one way out. We've gotta give this greedy town its money back.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 49
Arert we forgetting something, Marge? You were down $5,200 dollars.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 10 (S09E10) - 50
[Sighs] I guess we better get used to being pariahs.
Aired 19 years ago - Dec 07, 1997

When Marge gets her real estate license, she learns to put a positive spin on the flaws of the houses she’s selling. But when the Flanders buy the Murder House, she realizes she has to tell the truth.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 1
Oh, no!
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I don't recall being consulted when you bought that hat.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 3
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You know, if you lived here, you'd be home by now.
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Helping people find homes. That must be really rewarding.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 6
Oh, yeah. I'm a real expert.
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I don't know, Marge. Trying is the first step towards failure.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 8
- Superman. - Oh!
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and, oh- [Groans]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 10
♪♪ [Singing]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 11
- [Dings] - Time's up.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 12
What about me? You didn't thank me.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 13
Marge, it's a real pleasure.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 14
- And there's Nick Callahan. - [Marge] A headset telephone?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 15
[Gasps] For me?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 16
and ideals this jacket represents.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 17
That's not true. You're thinking of air bags.
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Lumber. We need lumber.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 19
And here we have a lovely gourmet kitchen-
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You know, I've always loved the house you're in now.
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I suppose not. I guess we were just captivated by this delightful plaque.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 23
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Hey, you're ruinir it for the rest of us!
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Customers love your no-pressure approach.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 26
Of course you did. But there's the truth...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 27
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Anybody who doesn't sell a house their first week gets fired.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 29
you're still the world's greatest wife and mother.
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Why don't we let her clear the table in peace?
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Well, nothing's perfect. I sure hate to make you come out here and not buy a house.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 32
- I guess it is sorta cute. - But small. Really, really small.
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It's sure built solid. The kids could scream bloody murder, and no one would hear.
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- There's the truth, and the truth! - No! No!
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That's good enough for me! [Screams] Purple drapes!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 37
- Marge Simpson sold her first house. - How about that?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 38
No. No. No tricks.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 39
- you're entitled to wear the coveted closing blazer. - [Applause]
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Wow, honey. You sold a house and got rid of the Flanders.
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If the slightest thing goes wrong with that house, call me right away.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 44
[Shuddering]
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- Right. - [Shouting]
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We were painting Todd's room red- pretty messy work-
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 48
[Tires Screeching]
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Ow!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 9 (S09E09) - 50
- This is Wiggum reporting a 318- waking a police officer. - [Siren Wailing]
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And this is the butler's pantry, where Mrs. Astor concealed herself.
Aired 19 years ago - Nov 23, 1997

When a skeleton is unearthed at the site of a future shopping mall, all Springfield is convinced it is the skeleton of an angel – except Lisa.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 1
Hey, they can't just build a parking lot on Sabertooth Meadow!
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Fine. I'll come back later.
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[Indistinct Whispering]
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Well, I'm calling in a favor.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 6
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Why, look! Here's something right here.
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- [Gasps] - It's a spearhead!
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- [Whimpering] - [Snoring]
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A bottle cap, a shoe, a bar of gold- anything!
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[Gasps] Oh, my goodness!
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- Lisa's right. It's an angel! - [Onlookers Gasp]
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uh- a Neanderthal who got bitten by some angry fish.
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who's ever heard of a "Neanderthal"? [Chuckles]
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Now, regardless of what this thing is...
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I'll need to refer to the case of Finders versus Keepers.
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I'm locking it up in my safe-deposit closet with my other valuables.
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to share a prayer with the blessed angel, if it's okay with you.
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- It's foot surgery. - [Homer] Hey, I'm trying to eat here!
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That gives me an idea.
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If you look carefully, you'll notice I never once used the word "angel."
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[Door Creaking]
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Wow, it's so lifelike.
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It's a bone scraping from that skeleton I found.
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Um, you know, I can't afford to pay you.
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- Soon we'll have all the facts. - You did what?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 29
Then why'd you come running up like that?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 30
Okay, folks. Get your "Angel Glow Sticks."
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You?
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Hmmm. My poor Lisa.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 33
- Miss Lisa Simpson. - Kent.
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Everyone knows leprechauns are extinct.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 35
It's smashir time!
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[Commotion Continues]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 37
- Bart, I'm borrowing your blue crowbar. - Good ol' Blue-y.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 38
- I could take up smoking. - You damn well better.
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It's gone! We're too late.
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- [Gasps] Hey! - What? She didn't do anything.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 41
Your Honor, over the coming weeks and months...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 42
As for Science versus Religion, I'm issuing a restraining order.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 43
[Homer] "The end will come at sundown."
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Oh, angel, listen not to this child of Satan.
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Oh, Edna, my sweet buttercup, you read my mind.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 47
Will you leave me alone?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 8 (S09E08) - 48
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If they want you in heaven, they got to take me too.
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[Others Join Countdown] five, four...
Aired 19 years ago - Nov 16, 1997

Trying to escape his arranged marriage, Apu asks Marge to pose as his wife during his mother’s visit. When the ruse fails, Homer makes a last-ditch attempt to intervene, but Apu is smitten with his new bride Manjula.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 1
and then to have a discussion about where it could be placed in a room.
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- [All Whooping] - All right! We got 'im! Hooh!
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Oh, yes. All Kwik-E-Mart managers...
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Why don't you try and stop me?
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[Moaning]
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Oh, well, congratulations.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 7
You call that a dowry?
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Oh. I cannot get married. I am just beginning to enjoy my bachelorhood.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 9
Yes, that is right, Mother. I already got married.
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Apu, wake up!
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- Late night, huh? - I'm not the type to kiss and tell, sir.
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What you oughta do is, um-
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[Gasps] Mother!
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[Yelping]
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What?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 19
Can you feel the love?
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to disgrace his family and spit on his culture.
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Apu, your arranged bride, Manjula, is a sweet, refined, chaste woman.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 22
- Oh. - Oh.
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We're scammir an old lady at my house, and I need a place to hide out.
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- You're already in a home. - Oh, how could you?
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- Supper at 4:00? Whoo-hoo! What a sweet deal. - [Reople Chattering]
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Can you see out of it? Does it change colors when you're ticked off?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 28
- [Door Closes] - ## [Whistling]
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[Gasps, Grunts]
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[Sucking]
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[Grunting]
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My family brought me here on Monday...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 33
Well, I'm glad you were having fun...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 34
Oh, Apu, give it up.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 35
I had no idea how strongly you felt, Apu.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 36
Yes. Yes, Manjula. I will take care of all the wedding plans.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 37
I've got the extra wine glasses...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 38
Aw, tough break. She's a beautiful lady.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 39
Oh. Manjula and I have not seen each other in 20 years.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 40
♪♪ [Morosely Singing Sexy Rock]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 41
And I know just the place.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 42
It appears that your tiger has been sent to St. Louis.
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- Is it sacred yet? - Almost.
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Don't worry, Apu. Someday, you'll meet someone you really love.
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Yeah, all right. It'll cover the gravy stains.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 46
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Lucky mouse.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 48
- Obviously not. - [Crashing]
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[Screams] Stop chasing Ganesh!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 50
All right. Ganesh has been subdued.
Aired 19 years ago - Nov 09, 1997

When Homer becomes the coach of a peewee football team, he replaces star quarterback Nelson with the less talented Bart. Facing his teammates’ scorn, Bart looks for a way out but finds a better way to show his team spirit.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 1
In this reporter's opinion, it's time for our lard-laden lads to shape up.
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[Chuckles] Oh, you betcha.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 3
He's gonna need, uh, you know, protection.
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Aha. Say no more. I read you loud and clear.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 5
- Okay, Milhouse, let's try out the new cup. - [Grunts]
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- [Chuckles] A lot higher, Martin. - [Falnt Grunt]
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[Groans] Careful, Bart. You'll break my calculator, by which I mean my head.
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- You do? - Uh-huh. But we'd love to have you on board.
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And the season hasn't even started yet.
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Okay, Simpson, you're blocking for me on this play.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 14
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I've been carried out of Moe's like that hundreds of times.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 16
- [Line Clicks] - Hello? Hello?
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- [Cheering] - Flanders!
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They're just words, Neddie. Words can't hurt you.
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No. No. No, no. No. It's just that, well, like I was yelling earlier...
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[Groaning]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 21
- Wipe that smile off your face. - What did I do?
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Well, if you know a better way for me to live through my son, I'd like to hear it.
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Ah. That's what I get for having faith in ya.
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Quit running, Son. I just wanna give you a big hug.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 27
Okay, it's time for the easiest part of any coach's job- the cuts.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 28
- [All Sigh] - Except you, you and you.
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What a rip!
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Good luck, Homer. No hard feelings.
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- Are you kidding? I reeked. - Oh, really?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 35
If I wasrt your friend, I'd tell you you sucked.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 36
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That's right. My car broke down in front of your house.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 38
Remember what I told you.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 39
I'm dead.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 40
Dad, I got some bad news.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 41
- Good. Take this note over to the referee. - "We forfeit"?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 42
You don't get it, do you? I don't want to be your stupid quarterback!
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- Homer, please. - I didn't raise him to be a quitter, Marge.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 45
- Ahoy-hoy? - Mr. Burns, this is HomerJ. Simpson...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 46
Go long! Go long!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 47
We drove 2,000 miles for this?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 48
Well, Bart, it looks like it's just you and-
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 49
I'm feeling kind of low, Apu.
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I've got lots of quarters.
Aired 19 years ago - Nov 02, 1997

Alarmed by a soccer riot, Homer buys a handgun. His reckless behavior drives Marge and the kids out of the house, and even his new gun club buddies desert him.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 1
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Back to center! Center holds it! Holds it! Holds it!
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has escalated into a citywide orgy of destruction.
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- Oh, my God! Homer, they're right next door. - Relax, Marge.
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Looks like you called me just in time.
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$500? Aw, forget it.
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- Silencer. - Mm-hmm.
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- [Grunts] - I'd kill you if I had my gun!
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Can't you mutter in your room?
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Oh! How am I supposed to last five days without shooting something?
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[Toilet Flushing]
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This is the trigger, and this is the thing you point at whatever you want to die.
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- No! No one's using this gun. - [Whimpering]
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If I didn't have this gun, the king of England...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 21
or, uh, an alligator.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 22
[Beeping]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 23
- Learning something, Marge? - [Groans]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 24
but I managed to shoot him in the spine.
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it's good enough to protect my family.
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- Sorry! - My fault.
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Can you help me get my ball down from the roof, Dad?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 30
- See you in hell, dinner plate. - [Gunshot]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 31
On another topic, guess who was picked to host the next N.R.A. get-together?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 32
Uh, I'd better just put it down.
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You said there'd be "Fudgeicles," Bart. Where's the "Fudgeicles"?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 36
Oh, I see Bart gets to have a gun.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 37
the most despicable!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 38
So this is the thanks I get for protecting my family?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 39
- I've left Homer. - Thank God.
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you can turn a regular gun into five guns.
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Watch me turn on the TV.
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They're for family protection, hunting dangerous or delicious animals...
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[Chuckling]
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I'd like to order a wake-up call, please.
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Everything but my precious, precious gun.
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Honey, it'll be morning soon. Try to get some sleep.
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- Oh. Sorry. Marge? - [Mayor Quimby] Vote Quimby.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 51
and there's no one there to hear my various witty remarks.
Aired 19 years ago - Oct 26, 1997

In “The Homega Man,” Homer faces a post-apocalyptic Springfield. Next, Bart attempts to become Superfly in "Fly vs. Fly." In “Easy-Bake Coven,” amidst a witch hunt in 1649, Marge and her sisters invent trick-or-treating.

Aired 19 years ago - Oct 19, 1997

After Lisa’s saxophone is destroyed, the Simpsons reminisce about how she originally got the instrument. On the hottest day of the year, Homer must decide whether to buy an air conditioner or replace Lisa’s sax.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 1
- ##[Saxophone] - Lisa, knock off that racket!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 2
Oh, yeah? My dear Lisa, you are eight, and I am 10.
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[Crying, Sniffling]
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This saxophone is like my oldest friend.
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with songs, sketches and crudely drawn filler material.
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Now, Son, on your first day of school...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 8
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 9
- Yeah, right. - [Skinner] Ms. Rhipps, the school nurse...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 10
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♪♪ [Singing Together]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 13
D'oh!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 14
till I wrapped my little red wagon around a tree.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 15
Oh, sure, honey.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 16
- Uh, line? - "D."
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 17
Mmm.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 18
Brilliant. [Laughs]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 19
[Screams] Burn it! Send it to hell!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 20
- Aah. - Mrs. Simpson...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 21
Public school can be intimidating to a young child...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 22
and more a faceless slug.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 23
- Two apples. - Wait a minute.
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- Wave of the future! - [Chuckles] That's right, honey.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 25
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Over 75% of our graduates go on to first grade.
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Sorry. I don't have anything to offer you unless you're a member of a minority group.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 28
Our family was suffering through its worst crisis ever.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 29
I'll go start dinner now.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 30
Well, Grampa, as long as you're here...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 31
people were doir a dance called the Funky Grandpa.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 32
with today's temperature exceeding the record for this date...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 33
maybe there's some other way to encourage Lisa.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 34
- [Dings] - You lose, Michelangelo's David. Who's next?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 35
Oh, Marge, but we've needed a new air conditioner for years.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 36
- But Balzac is the name. - [Babbling]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 37
Mmm, recirculated air.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 38
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Grampa, what are you talking about?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 40
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Yeah.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 42
my posterior is nothing more than flesh, bone and that metal plate I got in 'Nam.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 43
Now, what do you say?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 44
[Giggles] He's the greatest showman since that kid who eats worms.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 45
You have 13 pickled eggs in this jar...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 46
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 47
[Laughing]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 48
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 49
Two hundred dollars?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 50
To Lisa: Never forget your daddy loves- D'oh!
Aired 19 years ago - Sep 28, 1997

Unmasked as an impostor, Principal Skinner flees to Capital City to reclaim his former life as a shiftless good-for-nothing. The people of Springfield gain a newfound appreciation for him and form a plan to bring him back.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 1
Happy anniversary, Son.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 2
- Ralph. - Principal Skinner is an old man who lives at the school.
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When I grow up, I wanna be a principal or a caterpillar.
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- Mm-hmm! - [Murmuring]
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to share with the people and the town that I love.
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[Murmuring]
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- That man is the real Seymour Skinner. - [Gasping, Murmuring]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 9
Sergeant Seymour Skinner, U.S. Army.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 10
in a sweatshop in Huhan.
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Well, obviously it isn't. My real name is Armin Tamzarian.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 12
- Yeah. The way I was headed, it was just a matter of time... - [Siren Wailing]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 13
Of course, if I'd known there was a war going on, I probably would've apologized.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 14
You've got your whole life ahead of you. Don't you have any dreams?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 15
Well, there's nothing corny about fresh-faced youngsters skipping to school...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 16
I came to think ofhim as the big brother I never had.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 17
My life lost all meaning.
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And l-I felt it was my duty to deliver the grim news to his mother.
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I guess I couldn't bear to tell her about her son.
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deep down, I think she knew I wasrt her son...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 21
Don't judge her too harshly, Sergeant. She was a lonely old woman.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 22
I didn't dream anything about an aqua suit...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 23
No! I have one stranger and one fraud.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 24
♪♪ [Whistling] Hey, Armin.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 25
Why don't you just write a 30-word essay on what you've done?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 26
My name may have changed, but I'm still the same man I was last week.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 27
- pretending to be something he's not. - Mmm.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 28
This sentence I'm speaking... right now.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 29
Skinner, do you know anything about being a principal?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 30
Now let us welcome our new Principal Skinner, Principal Seymour Skinner.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 31
You belong to the Radio Shack Battery Club.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 32
Mother's picture is still inside. Take good care of her.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 33
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- Principal Skinner? - Up yours, children.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 37
[Cheering]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 38
- He lied about his name. - His name doesn't matter.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 39
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- [Flatulent Sound] - [Laughter]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 41
You haven't dealt with women for a long time, have you, Sergeant?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 42
They're not even wearing a smile.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 43
- A bar, Mom. - I don't know what that is...
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- And have 10 items or less. - Twelve, 11, 10. The mars a weenie.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 46
- Did you ever tell him that? - Hmm.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 47
are no place for three unescorted ladies.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 48
[Snoring]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 49
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 50
- You didn't bring me up at all. - The hell I didn't!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 51
[All] Yes, Mrs. Skinner.
Aired 19 years ago - Sep 21, 1997

Designated driver Barney absconds to Manhattan in Homer's car and leaves it there. But when the family journeys to the Big Apple to retrieve their property, Homer discovers his car has been booted.