Status
Continuing
Next episode
TBA
Airs
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX (US)
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 10

Aired 18 years ago - May 16, 1999

After their bank account is drained at a cyber-cafe, the Simpsons go on a disastrous low-budget trip to Japan, where they wind up as contestants on a humiliating game show.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 23 (S10E23) - 1
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We were saving that money for our family vacation.
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Evenin', neighbor. Low on funds again?
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We give to eight different churches just to hedge our bets...
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We got that tip at the Chuck Garabedian Mega-Savings Seminar.
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Then I'll show you the three ways to get back to the highway-
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[ Tires Squeal ]
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The point is, ya gotta squeeze every penny. Come on, let me hear you.
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[ Groans ] Thirty-three cents? I paid almost double that.
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[ Chomping, Groaning ]
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I don't think there's enough here for a vacation.
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Now it's mine.
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[ Woman On P.A.] Attention. Flight 605 to Tokyo is ready for departure...
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- [ Groans ] - Come on!
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His name is Takashi. He's in my book club.
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- You're the waitress. - [ Beeps ]
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Marge, they stole my idea.
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Homer, you're supposed to slide those doors open.
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[ Yowling Stops ]
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Hmm. All right.
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I'd like to see theJapanese take on the club sandwich.
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I can't believe they stuck us at ''Tax-a-chusetts.''
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Don't you serve anything that's even remotelyJapanese?
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One square watermelon, please.
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What did I do to deserve this?
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- Spare some salt, tubby? - Tubby?
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Congratulations. I am the emperor.
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Oh, I'm sick of doing Japanese stuff.
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Honey, I know you wanna seeJapan...
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Oh, be careful. We need that money to get home.
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[ Grunts, Groans ]
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Every truckload of fish we gut...
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♪♪ [ Singing ]
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[ Male Announcer ] Tune in tomorrow, when another lucky family...
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but I think we'd all like a free dinner at Americatown.
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- [ Laughing ] - Okay, let's begin.
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- My name is Wink. - [ Groans ]
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- [ Groaning ] - Oh, sorry, Dad.
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Hey, isn't that Homer on theJapanese Channel?
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I sure hope they don't have an ice cream round. [ Screams ]
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[ Together] Plummet! Plummet! Plummet! Plummet!
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- [ Screams ] - [ Grunts ]
Aired 18 years ago - May 09, 1999

Mayor Quimby flees Springfield, leaving the town chapter of Mensa in charge. As the group's new power goes to their heads, they take their utopian plans too far and the townspeople revolt.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 22 (S10E22) - 1
[ Coughs ] Please, no more spark plugs.
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No, wait. That wasn't a trick.
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- Okay, I'm leaving. - Hup. You're not going anywhere, missy.
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me for being seen with you freaks.
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People, stop, stop.! We're not animals.!
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''Free boudoir photography.''
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We have eight malls, but no symphony.
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Oh, you sure got a lot of copies of the paper.
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Oh, absolutely. Well, you know, anything byJane Austen.
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Tell no one. And bring a dessert.''
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Is that a pie or a quiche?
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[ Laughs ] And she brought a cream pie.
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- Lindsay Neagle, Advanced Capital Ventures. - Oh, what do you produce?
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Lisa, I think you're gonna fit in just fine around here.
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- Oh, yes. Your name? - Uh, Geraldo Simpson.
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Well, I don't, but the block association seems to.
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- Even the microfilm? - Even the microfiche.
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Oh, only one person in a million would find that funny.
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- For the first time in my life, I feel that someone understand- - Bup, bup, bup, bup.
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Now you're sure this will save my marriage?
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and not t'other way around.
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Excuse me, gentlemen. Might I take a peak at your gazebo reservation form?
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a nasty looking spider in gazebo six...
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and the stupidest run everything?
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When you see what's in this report, things are going to change in this town.
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[ Neighs ]
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- [ All ] Done. - Finished.
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Of the mind. The mind.
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So, Lisa, what do you and your fellow eggheads have planned for the city?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 22 (S10E22) - 37
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And instead of chasing a rabbit, the dogs chase a diploma.
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Light is not your friend. All right, let's do this thing.
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Oh, excellent. Not only are the trains now running on time...
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Oh, please. For a nickel a person tax increase...
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[ All Arguing ]
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Homer, I've never seen this side of you.
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That's our basement?
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[ Chanting ] Governance! Governance!
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Also, boxing, both kick and the kind with the gloves.
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- [ All Gasp ] - For many of you, this will mean much less breeding.
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while mine is a muscular 1 7 0.
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- The world's smartest man! - What are you doing here?
Aired 18 years ago - May 02, 1999

A new mogul wins the hearts of the townspeople with a shower of cash. Jealous, Mr. Burns asks Homer to help make him a beloved billionaire too, and they hatch a plan to bring the Loch Ness Monster to Springfield.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 21 (S10E21) - 1
Get a horse!
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But you don't wanna buy your buttons there.
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Well, it's not really on our walking route.
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Hey, it's not just a store- It's a megastore.
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[ All ] Ew.
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Yes, I know, but still- [ Whimpering ]
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♪♪ [ Continues ]
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[ Costner ] Ah, thanks. You're sweet to say that.
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[ Sobbing, Groaning ]
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- Pardon me, good sir. - Well, hi-diddly- [ Screams ]
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- ##[ Fanfare ] - Oh.!
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Please welcome the owner of Fortune Megastores, Arthur Fortune.
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- Climbed Niagara Falls. - Ooh! Oh!
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Now I'm afraid I've got some bad news from my accountant today.
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- Well, all right. Here. Now- - I do!
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- Not so fast, old chum. - [ Screams ]
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♪♪ [ Singing ]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 21 (S10E21) - 19
This new breed of fun-loving billionaire is a welcome change...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 21 (S10E21) - 20
[ Sighs ] I thought I had everything-
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 21 (S10E21) - 21
Easy. Easy.
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I want you to look at me the way I saw you look at Arthur Fortune.
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Oh! This is a great idea, Simpson!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 21 (S10E21) - 24
That was a close one. Wanna go bowling?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 21 (S10E21) - 25
Well, how about donating money to charity?
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[ Muttering ]
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It's not fair. It's not fair!
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♪♪ [ Humming ]
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That's it! The radio. I'll go on the most popular program of the day.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 21 (S10E21) - 31
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All right, let's get this geezer out quick so we can bring in the lesbian gladiators.
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Uh-huh. All right. Uh, how many times a day do you go to the can?
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That was a gay old time.
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Most of the sounds you are now hearing are not being made by me.
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- Good thing those lesbians knew C.P.R. - Oh, what's the use?
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And a stunt like that impresses people?
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I mean, he's eluded Leonard Nimoy and Peter Graves.
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Hey, Willie. That old couple looks just like you.
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- It hurt me. - The beast looks something like this.
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He's been down in that icy water for hours.
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Oh, my great, good God. Gentlemen, your attention, please.
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This isn't the Monsterometer. It's the Frog Exaggerator! Oy.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 21 (S10E21) - 46
that has 2 4 miles of water to hide in.
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Nae! There's merely Loch Ness High School's discarded homecoming float.
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- God, it's him! - Come on, boys. Overpower it.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 21 (S10E21) - 50
Ah. And now for my triumphant return to Springfield.
Aired 18 years ago - Apr 25, 1999

When Bart ruins Springfield's chance to host the Olympics, the kids are sentenced to community service work at the retirement home. To help the residents recapture their youth, Bart takes them on an ill-fated boat ride.

Aired 18 years ago - Apr 11, 1999

Homer's failed do-it-yourself project gets mistaken for "outsider art." Suddenly in the limelight, Homer must come up with new "works" to impress the art world.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 19 (S10E19) - 1
Edna, look. A dimmer switch could ratchet up the romance in our love nest.
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Hi, I'm Doug Vaccaro.
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- In fact, it's a snap. - [ Fingers Snap ]
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Snapping fingers may not make food appear.
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Okay, sweetie. Daddy'll take over.
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Ohh. English side ruined! Must use French instructions!
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Why doesn't mine look like that? [ Screams ]
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- [ Screams ] - Yeah, he's done.
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Sorry. I didn't get this hammer hat...
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- It teaches them while they learn. - Yeah. Nice try, St. Nick.
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[ Squeaking ]
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[ Horn Blares, Dies ]
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They want to talk to you about some sort of car accident?
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Uh- [ Crying ]
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You mean this hunk of junk? This isn't art.
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Is everything okay? I got worried when I didn't hear any shots.
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Well, you should be very excited...
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Dad, chew with your mouth closed. You're losing your mystique.
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No, I'm not. I just can't believe some people are paying hundreds of dollars...
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- Hah! - With this sculpture.
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Young lady, I'll take it!
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Where you going with that junk, Dad?
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when I painted portrait after portrait of Ringo Starr.
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Uh, Mom found out her engagement ring is made of rock candy.
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And these are my fans: Gunter, Kyoto and Cecil Hampstead-on-Cecil-Cecil.
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I must get back to my hotel and practice my affectations for tomorrow.
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[ Groans ]
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Oh, Homer, being an artist was my dream.
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Frankly, I'd be a little turned on.
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Now you're making sense. Good night.
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Homer is the most dangerous artist on the Springfield scene.
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And finally, my thing de resistance...
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I'll give you two bucks for the bird if it's still alive.
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Come on, Gunter, Kyoto.
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I don't get it. Why don't people like my art anymore?
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- But you doesn't have to call him- - I'm sick of him already.
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Matt Groening? What's he doing in a museum? He can barely draw!
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He must be a hundred feet tall.
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And Picasso started out painting realistically, then moved on to cubism.
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I could never think of something like soup or a pencil.
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[ Grunting, Groaning ]
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And he also set up hundreds of yellow umbrellas along a California highway.
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Big? Daring? Lisa, that's it!
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D'oh.!
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Oh, Lord! What now?
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I love it, Homer!
Aired 18 years ago - Apr 04, 1999

When Reverend Lovejoy subjects the congregation to an extended Bible reading, the Simpsons fall asleep and have dreams based on Bible stories.

Aired 18 years ago - Mar 28, 1999

After beating Homer in a steak-eating competition, a trucker dies; Homer and Bart take over his rig to complete his shipment.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 17 (S10E17) - 1
How clever. The kids' menu is on the beak.
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- [ Gunshot ] - [ Thud ]
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not a little girlie, underpantsie, pink-doily, tea-party place.
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He will pit his stomach against 1 6 pounds of indomitable tenderloin.
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Oh, yeah? What do you know about it?
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Take my advice. This one's not for greenhorns.
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Well, I have just finished a whole lamb.
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but now I feel a balanced diet can include the occasional eating contest.
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- ''Reliable'' Red Barclay! - [ Cheering, Applause ]
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- Ooh, dear. - No, Homer! Don't fill up on bread!
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[ Chomping ]
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Lousy drunks! I'll show them!
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I've become everything I've ever hated. [ Sobbing ]
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And you did it with style and dignity. And- Hey!
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[ Grunting ]
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But I guess this is one delivery old Red won't be making.
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Bye, Marge!
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Oh, yeah? My left arm says different.
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[ Grunting ]
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[ Chuckles, Mumbles ]
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Oh, that's just what I need. Another piranha in the tank.
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Watching all the people come and go.
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It's not a toy, Lisa. We'll just have to wait until someone comes.
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and bounty hunters to beat the band.
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Oh. I would have feigned interest.
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This is it, honey. We did it.
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Oh. It's heavenly.
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##[ Suspenseful ]
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I bet old Red caught himself a mess of catfish with these fishing sticks.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 17 (S10E17) - 34
Well, Congress is racing back to Washington to outlaw these.
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[ Both Snoring ]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 17 (S10E17) - 37
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Yeah. That Navi-Tron Auto-Drive System has made our jobs cushier than ever.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 17 (S10E17) - 39
I'm not really a trucker, so I don't talk to the rep that often.
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Wow! You guys are even lazier than me.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 17 (S10E17) - 41
The second I let go of the wheel, this little wonder kicks in.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 17 (S10E17) - 42
Well, will wonders never cease?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 17 (S10E17) - 43
Looks like we got us a 1 0-38.
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Calling all big rigs. Motormouth on Highway 7. You know what to do.
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##[ Playing Faster ]
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Uh-oh. Well, well, well.
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- We'll get past that barrier somehow. - [ Beeping ]
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Something better!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 17 (S10E17) - 51
- You can say that again. - Yeah.
Aired 18 years ago - Feb 28, 1999

Indebted from a mishap at the Smithsonian, Homer lets a cell phone company put a transmitter in the house. Forced to share a room with Bart, Lisa resents Homer until a New Age experience gives her empathy.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 16 (S10E16) - 1
Oh, quit complaining. It's half the work of a divorced dad.
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Hysterical. But I traded my turn to Lisa for her dessert.
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- Fine, how about- - Ohh!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 16 (S10E16) - 4
It encapsulates America and makes history come alive!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 16 (S10E16) - 5
I can answer that. Uncle Sam needs to spend our tax dollars on the essentials:
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 16 (S10E16) - 6
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- Who's Fonzie? - Who's Fonzie?
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[ Homer ] Where? I don't see that.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 16 (S10E16) - 9
Look!
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Finally a company that understands my needs.
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It's called caring, Marge.
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Just pretend it's a tree, honey. Or as we say at Omnitouch, a progress tree.
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Nothing. They just needed a place to put all the electronic gizmos...
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community.
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Funny how your mind works in a crisis.
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So meet your comically mismatched roommate, Bart Simpson!
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##[ Fades, Ends ]
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- No, you shut up! - Ohh!
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I don't want you driving through tunnels! You know what that symbolizes!
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- Great. I'm gonna eat mayonnaise. - [ Groans ]
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Well, well, if it isn't Frick and Frack, Jack and Jill, Fred and Ethel, the Three-
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You're on! Lisa, you play winner!
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Dad, why did you have to take away my room?
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- [ Man ] Pick a card. Any- [ Screaming ] - [ Chimpanzee Screeching ]
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- Okay, then you can take Lisa to Dr. Hibbert's. - Great.
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You know, before I learned to chuckle mindlessly, I was headed for an early grave myself.
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I'm always making clever noises, and she never chuckles at 'em.
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I sure settled his hash.
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I'm sorry, Lisa.
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Oh, good! I've been meaning to buy a-
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Absolutely not. My little girl's tummy hurts.
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You may see and experience things that are strange and frightening.
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I have to stop thinking, starting now.
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He bought himself a mail-order bride. But he's too cheap to pay the C.O.D., right?
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How am I supposed to hallucinate with all these swirling colors distracting me?
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Oh, my gosh. I've entered the body of our cat.
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This tank is releasing the full potential of my brain.
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I just busted out of prison and the cops are after me.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 16 (S10E16) - 42
- 7 42 Evergreen Terrace. - [ Gasps ]
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You are a prankster's dream.
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But you can'tjust repossess our merchandise. The I Ching said I had six months till bankruptcy.
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Hey! This piece of junk is finally doing something.
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- The crystal says your baby shall be a girl! - Shut up!
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[ Gulps ] Leapin' Lazarus! Is this what passes for eternal rest these days?
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Okay, I'm ready to get out now.
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Oh! Ow! Oh! This inner peace stuff is tough on the old coconut!
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You're going right back where you came from.

A new Canyonero SUV turns timid Marge into an aggressive driver, and her road rage lands her in traffic school. But when a stampede occurs at the zoo, the town looks to Marge to save the day.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 15 (S10E15) - 1
a baseball team, and I was wondering-
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Dad, you were supposed to pay for those snacks.
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He's letting you in. Go!
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What in blazes?
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- ##[ Man Singing Country Music ] - [ Man #2 Shouts ]
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Ah, I shouldn't have said that. I'm Gil.
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No! Wait! Ah, no! You can't take my sale!
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No, but I came so close. This guy was-
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but if you want to protect the paint, you better keep it in this tent.
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- Right. - Sweet.
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See? Instead of a cigarette lighter, it's got a lipstick holder.
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[ Both Laughing ]
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I don't think you're gay. I just have to do my grocery shopping.
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How am I supposed to get in this beast?
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are more likely to be involved in fatal accidents.
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- I did not. - [ Screams ]
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Okay, Mr. Peanut, you think you can keep-
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 15 (S10E15) - 23
So, lying on the couch and eating stuff isn't the same if you aren't around to see it.
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Maggie smells bad, and the cat wants something, but I don't know what.
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- Open up for Marge. Thank you. - [ Honking Continues ]
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I'll see you tomorrow morning at traffic school, speedy.
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That's right. You're all angry...
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♪♪ [ Instrumental ]
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answering machines and one-night stands, people are getting angrier.
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[ Screaming ]
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remember to leave your murderous anger where it belongs- at home.
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For the next three hours, this bear will take your verbal and physical abuse...
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Well, Simpson, did you learn something today?
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No, thanks.
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Oh. Oh. Okay. Calm down.Just think.
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[ Horn Honking ]
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I'm tearing up your license.
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Hey, why don't you come to the wild animal park with us?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 15 (S10E15) - 41
Ah, what a gyp. They're all just lyin' around.
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Don't worry, honey. Daddy will fix that broken animal.
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Uh-oh. Here's a slingshot, Lisa.
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[ Shrieks, Muffled Grunting ]
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Does anything from the movies actually work?
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Seems I'm full of rage.
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- [ Screaming ] - Authorities say there's no immediate danger to anyone-
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[ All Screaming ]
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- [ Snarling ] - [ All Whimpering ]
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[ Screaming, Whimpering ]
Aired 18 years ago - Feb 14, 1999

Apu is making the husbands of Springfield look bad with his extravagent Valentine's Day efforts for Manjula. When the men try to sabotage Apu's grand gesture, they accidentally wind up benefiting from it.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 14 (S10E14) - 1
I told her that endless toil is the only true path out of this jerkwater burg.
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[ Grunts ]
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[ All Screaming ]
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[ Gasps ] Seven? I'll be right there.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 14 (S10E14) - 6
I could not let you in the store like that because you are smoking.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 14 (S10E14) - 7
I am sure you have noticed the many small imperfections that fill me with shame.
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Shankar, Shankar- Oh, here we go.
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Good rice, good curry, good Gandhi, let's hurry.
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[ Snickers ] Oh, yeah. Homer's a real go-getter.
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- Nobody works that hard. - [ Clears Throat ] Mm-mmm!
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Yes. Perhaps I stretched the truth a bit.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 14 (S10E14) - 13
- [ Arguing Continues ] - Maybe we should leave.
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Oh, they're newlyweds. They'll just talk things out and top it off with some lovin'.
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Hey, they stole our idea. See? Look.
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[ Laughing ]
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My shameful neglect has made her feel unloved. Now I fear she will leave me.
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[ Moaning ] Sweet mint julep.
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Good doggie!
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- This is about investment opportunities in Yemen. - Give me that!
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Well, don't just gasp. Read it.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 14 (S10E14) - 22
We sold it, didn't we?
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Well, sometimes I find pickle slices in the sheets.
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He has trained a bird to sing to me.
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Women really like that sort of thing, Homie.
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- Oh, dear! Oh, no. - There's a nut in my eye.
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Manjula got to see La Boheme.
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and you've spent less on gifts for me than you have on temporary tattoos.
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- This Valentine's crap has gone too far! - [ Shouts Of Affirmation ]
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I suppose I do take Maude for granted.
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- [ Barney ] I call side seat! - [ Moe ] Drinking will help us plan.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 14 (S10E14) - 35
Aw, gee. The man's just trying to show his wife he cares for her.
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Tiffany's, eh? It looks like Smoochie's...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 14 (S10E14) - 37
- They have breakfast at Tiffany's now. - Only till 1 1 :00.
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They'll keep my men from resorting to homosexuality...
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Man, that smarts!
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What's he doing in Springfield?
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- Have a Grammy. - Uh-
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Really? I did that?
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If he writes a message of love over Springfield, we're all screwed.
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- Not so fast, Apu.! - Homer.
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Correction: Kill us both!
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''I love you''- Edna K.
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Ow! What's the matter with you, you crazy old buzzard?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 14 (S10E14) - 51
- I hate to sound like a screaming fan, but- - [ Both Scream ]
Aired 18 years ago - Feb 07, 1999

A new TV series features a suave and debonair character named Homer Simpson. Homer capitalizes on his new namesake, until the character is rewritten to be a bumbling fool. Trying to recapture the positive attention he enjoyed, Homer changes his name to "Max Power."

Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 13 (S10E13) - 1
[ Screams ]
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But, uh, I don't know your names.
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Why aren't you living it up in your palace in Europe?
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Wow! They've captured my personality perfectly.
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[ Rings ]
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Marge, that was Debbie Pinson!
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- Hey, you're famous! - And that's the end of that chapter.
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Take it or leave it, ''Carl.''
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- [ Crowd Gasping ] - [ Moe ] Ooh, there it is.!
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I was supervising the Guns for Toys program.
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No. No, he can't be!
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- [ Chief] Simpson! - [ Groans ]
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- [ Shouting ] - [ Laughing ]
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like, oh, Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now.
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Now, if you'll excuse me, my fondue is just about-
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 13 (S10E13) - 17
Let's get out of here. Forget the baby's medicine!
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Your catchphrase is hysterical.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 13 (S10E13) - 19
That reminds me, do you mind if my nephew kicks you in the belly?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 13 (S10E13) - 20
The whole town's laughing at me. Even that cat out there.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 13 (S10E13) - 21
keep an eye on that weird-lookin' kid down there.
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- Well, I can assure you, it happened organically. - It better have!
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- Police Cops. - Uh, no, actually, it was called Badge Patrol.
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I'm begging you! I'm a human being! Let me have my dignity back!
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- Now he's stupid and whiny. - That does it! There's only one thing I can do.
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- What name would you prefer? - Any of these will be fine.
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- I love it, Max. - You changed your name without consulting me?
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And he traded a mule for it.
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[ Grunts ] But I fell in love with Homer Simpson.
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the right way, the wrong way and the Max Power way.
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You remembered my name!
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Sir, traditionally, a monogram is just initials.
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- Oh, I spit my gum in there. - Eww.
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''You are invited to a garden party this Saturday.''
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The house number is spelled out with letters.
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Wait. Wait. I got it. I got it.
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- Let's sing the Cinderella song. - Eh, maybe later.
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So I said, ''If this is the House of Pancakes, how come I can't eat the walls?''
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I know you don't think you're good enough for me, but believe me, you are.
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Well, I gotta go, but, look, if you're ever near the White House...
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We've all been blessed with privilege and success.
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I'm talking, of course, about our endangered forests.
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- [ All ] No! - If a tree falls in the forest, will you make a sound?
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It's a go-cart powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction.
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He didn't even have a clock.
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[ Siren Wailing ]
Aired 18 years ago - Jan 31, 1999

Homer and his friends charter a bus to the Super Bowl, only to find that their tickets are fake. Misadventures ensue.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 1
I got my letter to Santa.
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- Doughy's has terrible pizza. - Yeah, but there's two!
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I'll start with a couple of pizzas, then a complimentary tango lesson.
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Now, this wheel balancing is free, right?
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Oh, please, can't you let me slide this time?
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Oh, if I could only turn back the clock and buy four new tires.
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and now it's costing you 500 simoleons.
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- Wally Kogen. - Hey, I know you.
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[ Man ] The road to the Super Bowl is long and pointless.
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We've got a charter bus going down to the game.
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It's a deal. Hey, Moe, you wanna come with me and Wally to the Super Bowl?
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is gonna be watching with his wife, Hillary.
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Yes! Now that Lenny's in, Carl will fall like a domino.
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- [ Grunting ] - [ Barney ] I don't know if I can last that long.
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Forget it, kid. You're too small to go to the Super Bowl.
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Or me. Better ask me.
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Hmm. Oh! How 'bout paint by numbers?
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Uh, okay, fellas. Enjoy the pregame fun.
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Cool! The N.F.L.'s oldest surviving player.
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But it clearly says ''feet included.'' They have to be here.
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[ Line Ringing ]
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and the replacement feet will be rushed to you by my grandson Jody.
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Wally and I have all the tickets we need.
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Oh, how could I fall for fake tickets?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 34
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As a doctor, I'd say he's had enough.
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[ Honking ]
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[ Man Over TV] The Catholic Church- we've made a few changes:
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is they always have one phony bar for, like, emergencies.
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- [ All Moaning ] - No, no, no. I know my roars.
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If they were electing a president of Dumbville, I'd have to nominate me.
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And besides, I gotta go sing a medley with Rob Lowe and Stump.
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Do you think you can bust old Wally and his pals outta the pokey?
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Oh, look at the time. I better scoot to that halftime show.
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Hey, Homer, we've been running around cheering for an hour.
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- Hey! - [ Crowd Cheering ]
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This is a private skybox.
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We're finally going to the Super- [ Screams ]
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Whoo! I'm going to Disneyland!
Aired 18 years ago - Jan 17, 1999

Scapegoated for the vandalism of drunken Isotopes fans, the children of Springfield wage war on the adults by broadcasting their secrets on the radio.

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Probably at a dying little boy.
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- So who won? The losers? - No, they lost.
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Homer, would you please stop talking about the children's graves?
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Yeah, that sniper at the all-star game was a blessing in disguise.
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I want to thankJesus and say hi to my special lady, Marge.
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There you have it- ''Whoo.''
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Our technical director today was Stan Kadlubowski.
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- Yea! Isotopes! - [ Horn Honking ]
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- Hey, who's on first? - Touchdown!
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##[ All Singing Rock ]
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Last night? Um-
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That's why we're jumping to the conclusion that this was the work of no-good punk kids.
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Maybe next time you'll think before- Oh, my God!
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- That was cold-blooded, Marge. - Yeah.
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Return to your homes immediately.
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[ Laughing ]
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So- Oh, right. Sorry.
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- [ Groans ] Can't we just go to bed? - It's only 5:30.
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Smokin' their cigarettes.
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Gee, Chief, all those gears and motors must've cost a fortune.
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You robbed me of my manhood!
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- Oh, yeah. - Whoa.
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Milhouse, do you see what's on Channel 6?
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Milhouse, spread the word. We're seeing this movie tonight.
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- We're losing valuable make-out time. - [ Giggles ]
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''How did they know what I was thinking?''
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We've had quite enough of your evil mischief.
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Get them! Quickly!
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- Way to go! - In your face, fishwife!
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For crying out loud, Eddie. You scared the hell out of me.
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Kids never learn! [ Snickers ]
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we could read the adults' mind and tell their secrets...
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Great. This is all gold.
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- [ Glass Squeaking ] - [ Gasps ]
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Okay. Whatever takes my mind off my life.
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[ F.D.R.'s Voice ] A date which will live in infamy.
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[ Bart On Radio ] Constable Wiggum likes to act tough...
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[ Gasps ] Edna! How could you?
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because we'll be revealing embarrassing secrets about Springfield's other adults.
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- [ Murmuring ] - Oh, I hope they don't reveal this is a comb-over.
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- [ Both Grunting ] - Pyro! Gyro! Settle down!
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using the latest in crime-fighting technology.
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via the concavity of that oversized beverage conveyance.
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Well, adults treat kids like children!
Aired 18 years ago - Jan 10, 1999

When clean-living Ned Flanders wants to experience a new side of life, Homer takes him to Las Vegas. After a drunken binge, they marry a pair of cocktail waitresses.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 10 (S10E10) - 1
- Yeah, maybe. - [ Tires Squealing ]
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Particularly this one...
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Seals and Crofts? Pablo Cruise? Air Supply?
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- Throw hot wax on him, Dad. - Howdy, Homer.
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And once again, tithing is 1 0% off the top.
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[ Murmuring ]
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- Well, I did, but- - Now, I'm not a fancy, big-city lawyer-
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What's your secret, Flanders? Goat placenta? Monkey sweat?
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- [ Groaning ] - And, of course, I resist all the major urges.
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You name it, I haven't done it.
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Well, you may be a bit cautious, but what's wrong with that?
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[ Sighs ] I've wasted my whole dang-diddly life.
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- Ooh! - Rod, Call Dr. Stein.
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You got that right. Throw on the mesquite, Bart.
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[ Chuckles ] Yeah, I guess I do.
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- power of attorney, are you? - Of course I-
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Could be in the middle of the night.
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You gotta live down here, in the impulse zone.
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- Which is actually back in that direction. - [ Tires Squeal ]
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Ooh. It's goin' on 8:30.
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Gee, Homer, this all looks so garish.
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No, I got it.
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Hey- Lance Murdock.
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And he'll do it while attempting to open a locked safe...
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- Where do you want me? - On the ''X.''
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[ Screaming ]
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but t-to be honest, part of me wanted to see you get splattered.
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Games of chance are strictly forbidden by Deuteronomy 7.
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Oh, Lord, what should I do?
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- You threw it out the- - Never mind.Just pay attention.
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Oh, what the heck. You only live once.
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- [ Groans ] - [ Snoring Continues ]
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Oh, I did it!
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Hey, smooth move, Flanders.
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Okay.
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We would remember if we got married.
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- What did you call me? - [ Groans ]
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Ladies, we want to do the honorable thing, so breakfast is on us-
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You two fellas are the nicest husbands we've ever had-
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go make the girls some custom omelets?
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- [ Buzzing ] - Ooh! A friendly bee. [ Screams ]
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##[ Man Singing Rock ]
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Aah!
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Why did I bet the company payroll?
Aired 18 years ago - Dec 20, 1998

After a riot at a sci-fi convention, Mayor Quimby hires Homer as his bodyguard, and Homer witnesses the rampant corruption in town politics. When Homer takes a stand, he runs afoul of the Springfield mafia.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 1
People! People! This man has actually been in outer space.
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Silence, you nickel-plated nitwit!
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for this stack of water-damaged Little Lulus.
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- Comb the Sweet Tarts out of your beard and you're on. - Don't try to change me, baby.
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Luke Skywalker himself, Mark Hamill!
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As you can see, you stand to save up to 1 7 cents a month over the more dependable providers.
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Well, you're in luck 'cause we're gonna act out a scene...
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With the acting and the groupies and the ''Luke, Luke, save me''...
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Ya! Gadzooks! Where are my bodyguards?
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Take him. He's the one you want.
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Homer Simpson, nerd-buster, and I'm gettin' you out of here.
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How was I supposed to know it's not a real spaceship?
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Or have his genitals hooked up to a car battery?
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As a bodyguard, your only loyalty is to your protectee.
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Okay. Listen up. My goal is to assassinate that watermelon.
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I mean, you gotta sell it. Remember, your ''No!'' is what gets you your next job.
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However, your checks have cleared, so you all graduate. Congratulations.
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Hold it. What's your clearance?
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I asked you to take out the garbage three days ago, and you still haven't-
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- [ Honks ] - [ Wolf Whistle ]
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Get out ofhere. These stools are reserved for the mayor and his cronies.
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especially during this health inspection season.
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And after Moe's, we went to Krusty Burger, and the mayor got some more change.
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Sure the mayor takes a few bribes, but he also makes the trains run on time.
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Thank you, Mayor Quimby, for honoring us with the school milk concession.
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So, how'd you get the nickname ''Legs''?
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[ Gasps ] Crap on a crust!
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- [ Disgusted Sound ] - [ Gulping, Slurping ]
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Get that away from me. Kids, I don't want you drinking any more milk... ever.
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And to think I respected you... and defended you.
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I'll just use the body to stage an elaborate farce a la Weekend at Bernie's and-
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You're forgetting. You've got the best bodyguard in the business.
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[ Grunts ] Did you know that this is how F.D.R. met Eleanor?
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We're shutting you down, you filthy I-talians.
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Can you, uh, edit out the laughs?
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[ Rats Squeaking ]
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- And so, as the rats' milk is returned to the sewers- - [ Meowing ]
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like the killing of you by us.
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It's my duty, Marge. Besides, those mobsters don't scare me.
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I was thinking of a quiet evening at home with the, uh- [ Sighs ] wife.
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- Excuse me. - [ Drawn-out ] Yes?
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Dear Lord, please make tonight's production better than Othello with Peter Marshall.
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But I do have something for the mayor that perhaps you could deliver.
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Ah, au gratin potatoes. That's a quality side.
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I don't have time for this. I got 7 5 shortcakes to strawberry.
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Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who is before the cat?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 50
Aired 19 years ago - Dec 06, 1998

When Grandpa needs a new kidney, Homer agrees to donate one, but then chickens out.

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who could bring in a fresh prostitute from St.Joe in three days...
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and finally the old mission.
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possibly used by bandits, possibly during some exciting adventure.
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- Uh, yes, sir? - Do we have to listen to you?
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- All right! - We only serve sarsaparilla, mac. No alcohol.
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Somebody kill somebody! [ Grunts ]
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[ Groans ]
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- Die, yellow belly! - [ Grunts ]
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He played the town preacher until we laid him off.
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We gotta get home. I don't want to miss Inside the Actor's Studio.
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[ Grampa Muttering ] Can I go behind a tree?
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Only a couple more times over the horizon.
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It's one of those natural things. Beautiful in its way.
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I don't feel so good. Maybe I oughta eat something.
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[ Laughs ] I'm amazed you're alive now.
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I said fine.
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- Can I fluff your pillow? - Nothing's too good for me.
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You're talkin' about deadly, life-threatening surgery here.
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Plus they'll put you on one of those organ donor sucker lists.
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Well, actually, I- Hey! Quit harvesting me with your eyes!
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Oh, but I don't want them cutting up my soft, supple body.
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''Jack and Jill went up the hill and-
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[ Gulps ] All gone.
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But if I die during the operation, will you do one thing for me?
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[ Woman On P.A.] Doc Martens to Podiatry.
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[ Machines Beeping ]
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- Where'd he go? - [ Grunting ]
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- Am I dead yet? - No.
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Phew.
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[ Gasps ] I can live at sea! The sea forgives all!
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Excuse me. I'm fleeing in shame, and I'd like to look my best.
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- Hey, hey! - What's that?
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Oh, boy! Ooh, looks like we're both short on time.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 8 (S10E08) - 38
[ Horn Blowing ]
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I've been on that one. The taffy shop.
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Did I mention they're... lost souls?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 8 (S10E08) - 41
- Hey, who are you guys? - [ Laughing ]
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- Forget what? - Oh, boy. Here we go.
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put it in the freezer until it was very hard, then robbed a bank with it.
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As you can see, we're a contemptible lot of cads, bounders and tiger stabbers.
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- Good Lord! - Oh, how could you!
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- [ Horn Blowing ] - That's the last time I trust the strangest people on Earth.
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Oh, I wish I had that kind of relationship with my father.
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I'm going to show my family the kind of man I really am.
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Aren't you going to give him the last rites?
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Don't worry about old Grampa. I'm going to a better place.
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But love made me come back.
Aired 19 years ago - Nov 22, 1998

Stuck at home with a cold, Lisa gets addicted to a video game and neglects her homework. Her A+++ on a test wins the school a grant, but when she confesses that she cheated, Skinner covers it up. Meanwhile, Homer raises a lobster.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 7 (S10E07) - 1
Lisa, help Daddy find some normal flavors. [ Strains ]
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[ Teeth Chattering ]
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Oh, I can't afford that.
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- I picked some up at the store. - [ Sighs ]
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Oh, my. You're burning up.
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but none attacks its prey with more fury...
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♪♪ [ Game Soundtrack ]
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All right. I guess you're supposed to go through this stupid door.
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Yes.! I am just four power wands away from an antigravity lozenge.
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Choo, choo, choo, choo! Woo-wooo!
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That means that you weigh, oh- 1 60 pounds!
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No, no. You just stay put.
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And would it kill you to heat up the syrup?
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[ Aussie Accent ] Game over, mate.
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Oh, I am in deep blank.
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But I'll pass your file along to- [ Snickers ] Brown.
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Aw, don't worry about the test. Just get yourself a nice drink of water.
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- What are you doin' out here? - We've got a test, and I didn't read the book.
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- I don't wanna cheat. - Hey, hey. These are study aids.
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Ooh, you've got yourself a partner, have ya?
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Wh-Whoa!
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I graded this morning's test over lunch...
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You earned that A-plus-plus-plus.
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- Come on. Chuck him in. - Okay.
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And now for the main course-
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No, but I enjoy the smell.
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Aren't you proud of your big sister, Mr. Pinchy? Hmm? Hmm?
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Hmm. I suppose, maybe, if, uh-
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- Can I at least keep you in my Rolodex? - No.
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regarding your unprecedented A-triple-plus.
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We now qualify for a basic assistance grant.
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- I cheated! - [ Gasps ]
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that there really is no problem.
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Besides, I've already started spending it. Check out the new scoreboard.
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Skinner! I am outraged that you've kept this from me.
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Lisa, let's take a walk.
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Look around, Lisa. That grant money could do a lot of good.
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I would also accept ''snack-tacular.''
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Oh, she's a beaut. You can't beat a Coleco.
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The wolf's at old Gil's door.
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Someone's been coddling him.
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Arr. I understand. It's hard to let go.
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[ Flashbulbs Popping ]
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- What? - Huh? - [ Murmuring ]
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Who among you can honestly say you've never cheated?
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[ Straining ] Man! Acting is tough.
Aired 19 years ago - Nov 15, 1998

In a quest to learn Homer's middle name, Homer and Grandpa travel to his mother's old commune, where Homer embraces the hippie life.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 6 (S10E06) - 1
- Now you're dreamin'. - Oh, am I?
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- Line? - Nuclear power.
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Well, there were script problems from day one.
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I'm merely a vessel through which genius flows.
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How should I know? [ Grunting ]
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So, Dad, regarding that form...
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The point is, I'm a grown man, and I deserve a middle name.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 6 (S10E06) - 8
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[ Slowly ] Ouch.
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Your mother dragged us both to that godforsaken lovefest!
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Little Homer's trying to groove.
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Get a load of Captain Bring Down.
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you'd have ended up in a hellhole like this...
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Lather, rinse and repeat. Always repeat.
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Ah, you heard about that, eh? [ Chuckles ]
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I'll finally know what ''J'' stands for.
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[ Dog Yelps ]
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Okay, if I'm gonna be a real hippie...
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Hey, Bob, I just came to invite you to the love-in.
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Bummer. Love-in. Dean Rusk. By George, I've got it!
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- [ Belches ] - Homer, excuse yourself.
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Marge, you got too many hang-ups.
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[ Maude Screams ] Help.! Oh, I've never seen anything like-
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- Ahhh! - Ohhh!
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Peter Fonda must be spinning in his grave.
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Look. We can sit here all day and play the blame game...
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Fine. I guess the juice business is more important than the ideals...
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Now your freak flag's flyin'! Let the freak-out begin!
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##[ Ends ]
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It's that pair of Dockers you wanted.
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The intergalactic jester proclaims...
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That was fun. I don't know if we actually freaked anyone out, but-
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Your Frisbee jammed the juice-ilator, Homer.
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There won't be any more freak-outs.
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Bu-Bu-But the poncho!
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Ah, it was sweet of those guys to blame an oaf...
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And the soles of your feet are jet-black.
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Sleep, gentle hippies. Sleep.
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##[ Continues ]
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- What's going on? - What happened to our crops?
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- Uh-oh. - Homer...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 6 (S10E06) - 47
- ##[ Continues ] - Saints be praised!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 6 (S10E06) - 48
- [ Screams ] - [ Growling ]
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Mornin', Ned.
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[ Both Laughing ]
Aired 19 years ago - Nov 08, 1998

After a chance encounter with Hollywood celebrities secretly living in Springfield, Homer becomes their friend and gofer... until he spills the beans to the gang at Moe's.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 1
Carbamate, if I'm not mistaken.
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Yep. That's where they cook up their vittles.
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Okay, remember where we parked.
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- Skier? - Ready.
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- How's he doing? - I don't know.
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Soaring majestically, like a candy wrapper caught in an updraft.
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[ Whimpering ] Lower! Lower!
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Huh? What? Oh, already?
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- You're crushing my husband. - [ Man Groans ]
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You had an awful lot of glass in you.
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Yeah. Tell you the truth, I'm not even sure.
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''the Gersh Agency.''
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If you let me hang around a while, I can do all kinds of stuff for ya.
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- Okay. What is it? - I can't read.
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A gallon of wheatgrass juice, a five-pound wad of tofu, some jellied zinc...
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By the way, do you have extra-wide bumper stickers for a Humvee?
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- [ Doorbell Rings ] - I'll get it. I'll get it.
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Uh-What's with him?
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It's called a lawn mower. I invented it.
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[ Gasps ] I'll do that. You go upstairs and have a beer.
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A, uh, division of, um, Homer Co.
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Oh, there's that movie script I wrote.
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- I did not. - You lie!
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''The Terminizer:An Erotic Thriller. ''
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- [ Chattering ] - My God! What I'd give to meet him.
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The shuttlecock- Where's the shuttlecock?
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Homer, how could you?
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- But where will I bask? - Anywhere but here.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 35
- [ Clamoring ] - [ Moe ] Hey, come on.!
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Oh, how could Alec and Kim just cut me out of their lives?
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I didn't have to fake it with them.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 38
Ankle? Focaccia? What are you talking about?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 39
I did their laundry. Got their pictures developed.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 40
sneak up and, uh, peek in the window there.
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- [ Chattering ] - Only five- No wait. Ten dollars.
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We can't even pay our bills, and they're drinking Royal Crown Cola.
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I'll tell ya.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 44
and kiss us on the forehead.
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No, no, no. You can't lose the pie. The pie is your heart.
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[ Ducks Quacking ]
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I'm so beautiful. I think I'm so great.
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[ Tires Screeching ]
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Fine.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 50
- Can you drive? - Not well, but I'll give it a shot.
Aired 19 years ago - Oct 25, 1998

In "Hell Toupée," Snake is sent to the electric chair, and his hair is transplanted onto Homer. In "The Terror of Tiny Toon," Bart and Lisa become cartoon characters in an episode of Itchy & Scratchy. In "Starship Poopers," a growth spurt casts doubt on Maggie's paternity, and the family goes on the Jerry Springer show.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 4 (S10E04) - 1
Dude.
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Boy, you're getting this transplant just in time, Homer.
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Hi, everybody.
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Wow. If your fly weren't open, you'd look just like Roger Moore.
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[ Gasps ] Snake? But you're dead.
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- [ Gasping ] - Oh, my God!
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[ Slurping ]
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[ Snake's Voice ] Shut your squeal-hole, booze jockey.
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Filthy old bartender Moe Szyslak has watered down his last highball.
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Come here, you little-
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 4 (S10E04) - 13
That's Snake's voice.
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[ Normal Voice ] But I love my son.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 4 (S10E04) - 15
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- I'll kill you. - Homer Simpson, you're under arrest...
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Oh. Wait. I just got it. [ Laughs ]
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Tonight I'm going to suck...
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I'd be a pretty lousy mother.
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Well, we're leaving. And remember, no Itchy and Scratchy.
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Bart, quit it! [ Grunting ]
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Let's teach 'em a lesson.
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- Help! Police! - [ Siren Wailing ]
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- Sorry. - It happens.
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- Whew. That was close. - Uh, Bart?
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[ Slurps ] I'm telling you, this cilantro really gives it a zing!
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- Oh, Itchy's house. This is where we came in. - Look!
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Hurry, Homer!
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[ Giggles ] Look how cute they are.
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- Look. Her very first baby tooth. - [ Homer ] Aw-
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This little piggy went surfing.
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The ceiling's not a safe place for a young baby.
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It's probably nothing, but we just wanted to be sure.
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If only you could tell us what's happening to you.
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Commander Kang, receiving transmission from Infant Pod 1 3.
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for the obscure T-shirt-producing planet known as Earth.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 4 (S10E04) - 43
And we've come to see...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 4 (S10E04) - 44
Homer, Kang is Maggie's father.
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when without warning, I was abducted by aliens.
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the most common spawning locations of your species.
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But since I have no choice, I'll take the alley.
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Look! Behind you!
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Nine months later, I gave birth to Maggie.
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There's only one man who can settle an argument this bizarre.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 4 (S10E04) - 51
because we have the extramarital extraterrestrial backstage...
Aired 19 years ago - Sep 27, 1998

Under Nelson's bad influence, Bart shoots a bird with a BB gun. Stricken with remorse, he tries to nurture the eggs from the bird's nest, which hatch into a species of lizard outlawed in Springfield.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 1
- [ Buzzing ] - Mm-hmm.
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What can I get for 8,000 tickets?
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Wow, thanks, Nelson. I'll come by your house later!
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- Mustache comb. What'd you get? - Fake mustache.
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- She doesn't give a crap what I do. - Wow, you are so lucky.
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No way! Come on! Quit hoggin' the gun!
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''Whoa, look at me! I'm Bart Simpson! I'm scared to use a gun!
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- While I deal with this, why don't you start on that basket? - All right.
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- What the heck's going on? - We need Bart to help fold your father's underpants.
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I think he's at Nelson's.!
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-[ Door Slams ] - All right, young lady.
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Relax, Simpson. It was either him or you.
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We're knee-deep in our own droppings.
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[ Gasps ] Uh-oh.
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Mom, you were right. Nelson is bad news. Can we go home?
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I didn't mean to, Mom. The gun pulled to the left-
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You wanna play with little hoodlums? Fine. Have fun killing things.
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Oh, my God.
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##[ Theme ]
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Valuing her eggs above even her own life...
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If they're to survive, they require the gentle warmth and tender love...
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In nature, their mother would regurgitate food for them to eat.
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You've checked this Bible out every weekend for the last nine years.
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Hey, fellas, good news. I found an extra 7 5-watt bulb lying around.
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I think I'll call you Chirpy Boy.
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[ Gasps ]
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[ Whimpers ]
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 3 (S10E03) - 31
Oh!
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- That never happened, Dad. - Sure it didn't.
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Bart was born in about five minutes.
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One- they don't have beaks. Two- they don't have feathers.
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Now, uh, people, there's been some confusion about our bird-sighting rules.
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[ Chuckles ] So long, suckers.
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''Bolivian tree lizard''?
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and it has nasty plans for the booby, the titmouse, the woodcock and the titpecker.
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Ah. ## [ Humming ]
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They must be exterminated as quickly and gruesomely as possible.
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Bart, I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do.
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Yes, yes, you're in the way! Are you daft, woman?
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Don't use that look on me. I invented that look.
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- [ Gasping ] - I said relinquish.
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Aired 19 years ago - Sep 20, 1998

A midlife crisis prompts Homer to quit his job and become an inventor.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 2 (S10E02) - 1
- You're 39. - [ Yelps ]
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[ All ] Surprise!
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Oh, all right. Maybe I can pinpoint where my life went wrong.
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[ Shouting In Russian ]
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[ Voice Slowing Down ] to a very special- [ Indistinct ]
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No one man can do all that.
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- [ Homer ] Cut it out, boy. - [ Screams, Grunts ]
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the storage battery...
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'Scuse me. Are you a student at this school?
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So anyway, and this is the part you'll remember for the rest of your lives-
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- [ Snoring ] - And he was a firm believer in Fletcherism...
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- [ Groans ] - Some kind of scary telephone, I guess.
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Marge, that's it! That's why I haven't done anything with my life.
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Do us a favor. Invent yourself some underpants.
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You said I should quit my job and become an inventor, or you'd torch the house.
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Now a creative person like me looks at this table...
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Hmm. Hmm?
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[ Sighs, Coughs ]
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And here's how it works. Lisa, you say one thing, then Bart, you say another.
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Wait a minute. These aren't exciting new products. You're not even trying.
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- I don't see why not. They're my kids. I own 'em. - [ Groans ]
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You stay here and guard my sandwich.
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Uh, all you have to do is think of things that people need...
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[ Stammering ] All right.Just stay calm, Frinky.
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[ Explosion ]
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Okay. I have here the four greatest inventions...
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- [ Crash ] - [ Santa's Little Helper Barks ]
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Turn that off, Homer.
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That's why I invented this revolutionary makeup gun.
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This time, try to keep your nostrils closed.
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you'd have to get up and walk to the bathroom.
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- Gangway! Gotta poop. - No, Bart!
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and no one in their right mind would buy them or accept them as gifts.
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Somebody had to tell him, Mom. In the long run, it's much kinder to-
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- Homer! - [ Together] Dad!
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Oh, yeah. Safety sells, especially to lame-o's.
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Look, Mr. Edison. I did it! I'm an inventor.
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I thought I had a great idea...
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So, we've got to go to the Edison Museum and smash it!
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Oh, I just mopped that driveway.
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Oh, and later he raised turkeys. That was on his turkey farm.
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- Stop, Homer! - [ Gasps ]
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[ Whimpering ]
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- Hey, folks. Do you like riddles? - [ Chattering ]
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Now behind that door is Edison's actual preserved brain.
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[ Chattering ]
Aired 19 years ago - Aug 23, 1998

Homer and Bart try to make money by selling used grease. Meanwhile, Lisa organizes a school dance but feels alienated when a new classmate and her friends try to act like adults.

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I need a volunteer for a thankless chore.
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Don't worry. I'll help her out. I remember how hard it was...
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It's library-adjacent.
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The new Malibu Stacy has an achievable chest.
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Uh-huh. Isn't that trophy case supposed to have trophies?
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sacrifice and painful scaldings pay off.
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What's the problem?
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[ Chattering ]
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- [ Laughing ] - [ Forced Laughter]
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- Now maybe a littlejoke to break the ice. - [ Laughter]
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I've got an extra seat, and you've got an extra lunch.
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with her perfume and her cell phone and-
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Oh, earrings! Wow! Thank you so much, Alex.
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- I'm sure you'll be ready someday. - Oh, Lisa.
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- Didn't your old school have apple picks? - No, we weren't big on fruit.
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Lisa, you'd be doing all the work. What do you think?
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Yes, you did. Yesterday, right by my locker.
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- Good old Krusty Burger. - Oh, I'll say. Look at that redheaded kid.
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Mr. Maruko, help!
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- It's our grease now. - [ Groans ]
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Okay, girls, we're gonna need balloons, crepe paper, party hats.
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Just, you know, add some accessories, lip gloss, maybe drop five pounds.
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- D.M.Y. - What's D.M.Y.?
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Hello!
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My poor Homie. Couldn't you try some other far-out moneymaking scheme?
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Wait a minute. The boy's right. I can't quit now!
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once you've had fresh, you'll never go back to canned.
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- You'd better believe it. - Really? All of you?
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[ Panting ] Milhouse! Oh!
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And it's gonna be a magical evening!
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I promise we'll donate half the profits to charity.
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The other girls are already into fashion and makeup and dating.
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But they're counting on you to take tickets.
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- ## [ Humming ] - I'll go.
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- Enjoy the dance. - ##[ Pop On P.A.]
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It's gonna be a long night.
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And now we wait.
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Uh, we're new foreign exchange students...
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No fooling? I'm from North Kilttown. Do you know Angus McCloud?
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Ya thievin' grease bandits! I'll kill ya! Wait up!
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[ Screaming ] Ow! Ow! Ow!
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[ Sighs ]