Status
Continuing
Next episode
2 years ago
Airs
Sundays 8:00 PM on Disney+
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 2

Aired 32 years ago - Aug 11, 1991

When Mr. Burns is saved by a transfusion of Bart's blood, Homer expects a handsome reward but is outraged to receive only a simple thank-you note.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 1
If you have double O-negative blood, please report to the bloodmobile.
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Maggie, look. What's that?
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- What's my blood type? - A-positive.
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- How many hairs on my head? - Homie, you have lots of hair.
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- It's the only decent thing to do. - D'oh!
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Everyone tried to pull it out but nobody was strong enough.
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Hey, let's go! Emergency! Life or death here!
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- Go ahead. - Charles Montgomery Burns:
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Why, look who's here! It's good old you!
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I'm back in the pink! Full of pith and vinegar!
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The Simpsons will be getting a very nice surprise in the mail.
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It's thin, but that's okay. Could be a check.
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Is that some way to show your gratitude? No gold, no diamonds.
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- We got hosed. - Bart!
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And your card was just great.
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- He's your boss. You have to mail it? - Yep.
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- Thank you. - Where's the letter?
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Where did you see it last?
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I'll show you mad in the morning!
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...for old Mr. Lock. Step aside, boy.
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- But don't other people have mail? - So they won't get letters.
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It wouldn't do any good to run because you know my name, right?
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All right. First question: Have you slept with anyone famous?
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- I believe you have a letter for me. - What's your first name?
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The trip to the infirmary with most unexpected results.
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Simpson, eh? Simpson!
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You stink! You're a senile, bucktoothed mummy...
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What the hell, I'll just crush him.
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Tell you what, have him beaten to a pulp!
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...die in a gutter. It's practical and within our means.
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- Nothing. Wait. - What?
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"Me, thanking you?" No, it's not a misprint.
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I know you're mad. I'm gonna stand outside until you forgive me.
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...the Simpson matter to attend to. - We do indeed, old friend. We do.
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What's up? You're not your normal self.
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Too practical.
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Oh, woe is me.
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Will There Ever Be a Rainbow?
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It was carved by Mesoamerican Indians 3000 years ago.
Aired 32 years ago - May 09, 1991

Bart, Milhouse, and Martin pool their money to buy the first issue of Radioactive Man, but their investment and their friendship are threatened when they can't agree on who will keep it.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 21 (S02E21) - 1
We've got a utility belt, tricorders, a light saber... Sorry, kid.
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...but by night, fights vampires in a postapocalyptic war zone!
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Wish I was old enough to smoke Laramies.
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...as Radioactive Man and not the sordid details of his final years.
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Who knows? I did play Rum Tum Tugger in Cats. Anybody see it?
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...if you'll put your grubby little hands behind your back. Behold.
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- To buy that comic book. - Your emotion is out of place.
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And that golden lariat. She can tie me up any time.
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For a comic? Who drew it, Micha-malangelo?
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I'm not mad at you. Shows you been paying attention.
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When I was your age, I wanted a child-sized electric light bulb oven.
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For months, I worked while my sisters smoked.
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... all those light bulb-warmed treats always tasted extra good.
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I didn 't realize it, but a part of my childhood had slipped away, forever.
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Maybe you need to play on their sympathies more. Let's see.
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- Beat it. - You got a liquor license?
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Hey, what's all the...?
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Send him over to my house. I've got a few chores he could do.
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I've got dried apricots, almond paste, sauerkraut candy.
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Johnny, Harrison, Brooklyn Bob, and yeah, even Reggie.
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- Finished. - Merciful heavens, you're bleeding!
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- Did you make any money? - No, but I'm in a lot of pain.
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Today, we wash Beulah. Do you know what that is?
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Well, it's payday. I'll wager you've been looking forward to this.
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I can leave without screaming or saying a bad word.
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I busted my hump all week and all I got was 50 cents.
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- Can I have it for 35. - No! Kids.
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...we could buy a copy of Radioactive Man Number 1 right now!
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Wow. Breathe it in, boys.
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Becoming radioactive.
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Careful, careful...
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Yeah, what about that?
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...possession will be determined by Rock, Scissor, Paper.
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Fine. We'll all stay with the comic book.
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...so the last one alive can be buried with it.
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No, you quit!
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- Martin was trying to steal our comic. - Let's tie him up!
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You're crazy. I'm telling your mom!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 21 (S02E21) - 48
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It's not that far to the ground. The rains probably softened it up.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 21 (S02E21) - 50
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Better come in the house. You don't wanna get the sniffles.
Aired 32 years ago - May 02, 1991

At a lakeside retreat for married couples, Marge is determined to fix her marriage with Homer, but Homer is more determined to catch General Sherman, the freakishly large catfish that lives in the lake.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 1
Not really. Someone slipped one of those novelty ice cubes...
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- You're a little monkey, aren't you? - Yes, sir.
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You and your whole lousy operation stinks. I quit!
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Thanks for inviting me. I had a great time.
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Why? What did you do?
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- They're fighting again. - That music gives me the chills.
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The most whimsical jape of the season.
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But last night, you didn't just cross that line, you threw up on it.
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- You were wasted. - I didn't know when to say when.
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..."Good Grief, More Satan's Boners," and...
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Counseling for couples whose marriages are hanging by a thread...
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- We'll be there. - D'oh!
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Simpson? Simpson?
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If we can't find a babysitter, we can't go! What a kick in the teeth.
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Last resort. Old Grampa, the feeb.
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And behave yourselves.
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Mmm, bait!
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- Who says that? - They do.
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- Is it right to take advantage of him? - In these crazy times...
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...are we gonna do any fishing? - Oh, I'm afraid not.
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...tell us why they're here? John? Gloria?
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- Here's your crown, Your Majesty! - Get away from me!
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Remember my saving your lives when we pass the collection plate.
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- She's perfect. - What are her faults?
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He chews with his mouth open, he gambles.
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- Next? - Syrup.
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Wait. He kicks me in his sleep and his toenails are long and yellow.
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- Bye, book. - All right!
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- The perfect crime. - Homer?
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- What do I do to be a good guy? - Get back in bed.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 32
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Come on, give up!
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You fall backwards and rely on your spouse to catch you.
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Hey, you! You! Shut that door! Put that away!
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Thanks for coming. Nice tie, Nelson.
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- How do you make it go away? - Grab a brush...
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- This fish shows how selfish you are! - Then I'll throw it back!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 42
- Come here, baby! - Oh, Homer.
Aired 32 years ago - Apr 25, 1991

With Miss Hoover out sick, a substitute teacher takes over the class and becomes an inspiring role model for Lisa.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 1
Two suggestions are Mr. Nerd-strom and Mr. Booger-strom.
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...featuring an ABC of the overlords of the genre:
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This one's not very accurate, but we'll fix it. Okay?
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...cowboys used only the tongue of the antelope.
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It was one of those immature...
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- Any more nominations? - We nominate Bart Simpson! Speech!
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What did I say about encouraging him?
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...knew that a gray spider had played the most important part of all.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 9
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- I can't. - Sure you can.
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This profession can strain a marriage.
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Mr. Bergstrom is the first thing I think of when I wake up.
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I notice little things about Homer.
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Yesterday, he read us Charlotte's Web and cried at the end.
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- Lisa, can I see you? - Yes!
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...an inspector found 1.74 parts per million of asbestos!
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"Just a popularity contest"? What's more important than popularity?
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- Yeah. - Now, go get them!
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- You'll miss Bart. - When?
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Lisa needs to go to the museum, and I think you should take her.
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- I'm concerned about you and Lisa. - Me too. They're drifting apart.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 25
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...when they don't have to, out of the goodness of their...
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Wow!
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...with a good education and says, "What did I do to deserve this?"
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Mr. Bergstrom, do you like pork chops? Oh, no, of course not.
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- It means she was faking. - It was a little of both.
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Oh, well, as long as a couple of people did. Right, Milhouse?
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Two for Martin. Want another re-count?
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Hey, Lisa.
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Today he wears gym shorts, tomorrow he speaks French...
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Bart didn't get one vote?
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Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
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- You don't realize what you're saying. - Baboon!
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Her confidence in you is shaken...
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- You're sad you called me a baboon? - No!
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Now, you lost someone special and it hurt.
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Maybe I can't explain all this, but I can fix your dollhouse.
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- You're so silly. - Give me a banana.
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Aired 32 years ago - Apr 11, 1991

Marge rediscovers her interest in art and takes up painting. When Mr. Burns hires her to paint his official portrait, Marge tries but fails to find his "inner beauty."

Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 1
- H-2-Whoa! - Whoa!
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Pardon me. Moving to the front.
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Too big to be human. Send kids to dislodge it.
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Witnesses estimate the man's weight at 400 to 500 pounds.
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All right, family. I want the truth.
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Fifty-five? My God! Three hundred and...
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...no pizza too laden with delicious toppings...
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Don't ever do that again!
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I guess she thought he was cute. What? Hey!
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They're only 35 calories apiece.
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- Another one of that bongo beater! - Mr. Schindler...
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And what was Ringo 's response?
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- Hello, Mrs. Homer! - Apu, why are you here?
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No one can enroll until Mr. Lombardo approves their portfolio.
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There couldn't be a class without you. If you'll excuse me, nature calls.
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Here, we see how two circles, various trapezoids, ellipses...
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Is it water? Is it wine? Oh, my gosh, it's turpentine
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You find the inner beauty of your subject.
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Oh! Another triumph!
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I'm a work of art! Last Supper, eat your heart out.
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This is as half-baked as your idea about me having children.
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...and Dame Fortune has hugged Montgomery Burns to her sweet bosom.
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Two-forty-nine! Yeah!
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He was the drummer for the Beatles.
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Maybe not, but I have the gift of seeing inner beauty.
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- Honey, I'm home! - There's an original sentiment.
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Don't worry. All I need to do is find Mr. Burns' inner beauty.
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So Ziggy goes to the repair shop. There's a sign reading "Out of Order."
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Of course not, Smithers. You're like a doctor.
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They took the time to write me.
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It's hard to find your beauty if you're shouting at a little girl.
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Let me get this straight.
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Another day and I would've needed a Valium.
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I don't think I can.
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Yes, we do have hamburgers and fries in England...
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A new wing for our museum, and a portrait...
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Aired 33 years ago - Mar 28, 1991

When Grandpa's new girlfriend at the Springfield Retirement Castle dies, he inherits her savings and must decide the best way to spend his windfall.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 1
I get two red for my back, a yellow one for my arrhythmia...
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Care to tip the wrist with me?
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- What are you doing tonight? - Sitting alone in my room.
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- You'd think this would get easier! - I'd love to.
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You idiot! My girlfriend, Bea. Since this is the only store I know...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 11
How much?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 12
- Go away! - Oh, come on, Dad.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 13
She can come with us. There's room for all your friends.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 14
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- Yeah, Bart, get out and push. - No way!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 17
Oh, Bea!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 18
- What? - I'm sorry to tell you this, but...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 19
...but I know she died of a broken heart.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 20
Oh, no! Dad's lost his hearing!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 21
Oh, Bea.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 22
She left it all to you.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 23
- $ 106,000! - Ta-ta, Mr. Simpson.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 24
I just inherited $ 106,000...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 25
There are rubdowns, and then there are rubdowns.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 26
Big spender, why the change?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 27
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If you're not happy, why don't you spread it around?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 30
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For spousal problems, press 2 now. If you have trouble...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 32
- Choose your corncob. En garde! - Challenge accepted!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 33
...to people who need it.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 34
- You know, he is wise. - You don't want it.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 35
...that he'll give away over $ 100,000 to the person he finds most deserving.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 36
...psychedelic paint job from hell. Jam the kids to school!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 37
Wait! You're the guy who owns the nuclear power plant.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 38
It may be a map to ancient treasure, or directions to a house.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 39
The floor can become electrified and water falls on the subject.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 40
The subject should be maladjusted and harbor resentment towards me.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 41
- I've seen that one. - And a monkey.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 42
The ray only has evil applications.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 43
They're children who need books and families who can't make ends meet.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 44
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But $ 100,000 just isn't enough. I need more.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 46
It's too hot, maniac! Turn on the air already!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 47
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Please partake of keno, craps and the town's loosest slots.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 49
$5000 on... What century is this?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 50
Quit while you're ahead, understand? You gotta leave!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 51
...and lose, and start again at your beginnings...
Aired 33 years ago - Mar 07, 1991

After a series of destructive acts, Homer decides that Santa's Little Helper must go unless he passes obedience school. As the dog's last hours with the family approach, Bart must find a way to get through to him.

Aired 33 years ago - Feb 21, 1991

Homer's long-lost half-brother is the CEO of a car company that's wildly successful... until he hires Homer to help design a car for the average man.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 1
-Not a word. -No panto-ma-mine, either.
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Now get back to the pharmacy, you quack!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 3
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Hey, handsome, wanna dunk the clown?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 5
A year later, I married your mother and we had you.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 6
Since I'm the one you kept, it means you really love me.
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Know where this bastard lives? His parents aren't married.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 8
-They tore that down 30 years ago. -Thirty years! I'll never find him!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 9
I've spent years searching for my long-Iost twin brother--
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Please! This is my life we're talking about here!
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Changing the subject makes you a worthless excuse for a human being--
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 12
Let's see, Powell....
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 13
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It's a long shot, but--
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 15
Because I'm your baby brother, Homer!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 16
I'll tell you what, why don't you come here?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 17
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-What are you doing here? -What does it look like?
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But Mommy and Daddy didn't pay my way!
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She was the Greek goddess of spring and rebirth.
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I guess they extend to when the Angles met the Saxons.
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-What was he so upset about? -Good Lord.
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-Herbert! -Homer!
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Our three children, Bart, Lisa and Maggie.
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Oh, what's to know? Just dive in. Catch!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 26
-Even pork chops? -Absolutely. We've a tennis court--
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-You sure love pork chops! -He sure does, Uncle Herb.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 28
So, Marge, a little about yourself.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 29
-You weren't watching! -You didn't see!
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That's right! With applesauce.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 32
-Why not? -Americans don't want big cars.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 33
Instead of listening, you're telling people what they want.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 34
Homer, meet my team of engineers. They're gonna build your car.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 35
He'll change American transportation forever!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 36
Ahoy, mateys!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 37
-Why don't you get us some coffee? -Okay.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 38
I think I did.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 39
It's because you're an average schmo.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 40
Now go get them!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 41
The little ball you put on the aerial so you can find your car.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 42
...because that means we're on the right track.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 43
-Hello. -Homer Simpson is a brilliant man...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 44
Put a horn here, here and here. I can't find it when I'm mad.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 45
A separate soundproof dome for the kids? With restraints and muzzles.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 46
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 47
I could have been watching cartoons!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 48
-Do you miss the Antarctic? -Now this is spoiling them.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 49
...members of the press, Your Holiness.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 50
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Jerry, what's the sticker price?
Aired 33 years ago - Feb 14, 1991

When Marge begs Homer to find Selma a husband, he sets her up with Principal Skinner... who falls in love with Patty instead.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 1
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...one of the statistically small number of single 40-year-olds...
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I'll get right to it. I'm getting older and uglier.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 6
...so you could see that car shaped like a giant bowling pin?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 7
-I want you to find Selma a husband. -Find a husband?!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 8
Patty chose celibacy but Selma simply had it thrust upon her.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 9
Say when.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 10
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According to my sources, you are simultaneously planning...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 12
-He'll never get away with it. -He just goes too far.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 13
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 14
...I still think they're the best Tater Tots money can buy.
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The sheer contempt makes me wish I could use the board of education.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 17
Come on, one of you guys has got to be Homer Sexual!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 18
Sorry, Principal Skinner. It's a bad connection, I think.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 19
...I'd like to punish Bart through backbreaking physical labor.
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But enough about Bart. Tell me, are you married?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 21
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I'm too nervous. You do it.
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So, Patty, tell me, tell me more about your trip to Egypt.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 26
...the Parents Advisory Board asked that I see Space Mutants Part V.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 27
Pack of Lady Laramies.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 28
Save your strength, lad. There's a whole field for you to re-sod yet.
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Have I ever. The thought of doing wrong makes my stomach turn.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 30
You don't want to show up for your big date looking like Yosemite Sam.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 31
Cherry cordials. I hope you like them.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 32
-This evening has been disappointing. -Indeed. Terrible.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 33
Nearly 30 and still working as a busboy!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 34
Oh, yes. Plenty of fish. We just don't have any bait.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 35
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Hello, Dolly.
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Until then.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 39
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One kiss. But I don't want you bragging to your friends.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 41
Attention! Seymour Skinner is in love!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 42
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I gotta find a date for my big, fat, snotty sister-in-law, Selma.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 44
My sister's not going out with Barney Gumble!
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But nothing! She's a heifer, plain and simple--
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 46
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It's not that I don't love you.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 50
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Aired 33 years ago - Feb 07, 1991

Homer becomes the most popular guy in town when he gets an illegal cable hook-up, but Lisa fears he will go to hell for violating the Eighth Commandment.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 1
He offered to hook me up illegally to every channel for $50.
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This is okay. Everybody does it, right?
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I have an announcement to make. The Simpsons have cable!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 5
Is this legal?
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We'll teach you to lower your bill by making your own Band-Aids.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 7
This is where Jaws eats the boat.
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They think people watch that.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 9
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Children, I don't want you to get frightened but I must teach you this.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 11
If you actually saw hell, you'd be so frightened you would die.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 12
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-...unless I say "hell." -He has a point.
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-Are you sure this isn't stealing? -Read the pamphlet.
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Wait a minute. I'm confused. Did you say "cleans and straightens"?
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-What's gotten into Lisa? -Beats the hell out of me!
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Thou shalt not.... Covet...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 19
-Just charge me something, please. -Okay.
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Oh, great. All right, what makes you say that?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 21
Run for the hills, Ma Barker, before I call the feds!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 22
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Not too shabby! What do you say?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 24
Excellent. I'm so keen on seeing Watson vs. Tatum Two...
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-You are quite wealthy. -Thank you. Your candor is refreshing.
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-So, Homer, I hear you got the fight. -That's right.
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-Somebody's having a party. -Friday night. Wanna come over?
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No. It is if he puts anything on it. Jelly, for example.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 29
-Should I have him arrested? -That seems like an ideal solution.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 30
You're watching Top Hat Entertainment. Adult programming all day, every day.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 31
Oil service stocks slumped....
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Stealing cable is wrong, so I'm not watching it...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 33
Why can't she be more like...? Well, not like Bart.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 34
I can't afford it. When I can afford to pay for it, I will.
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-No. -It's coming down. That's it!
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You sure about this? Doesn't look friendly.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 38
You must be at least 8 years old.
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-How many people are coming? -Just a select circle.
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You have a special motivation going into this bout.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 42
You dedicate the fight to your manager!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 43
Will you get--? Hey, go protest outside, will you? Now!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 44
-Okay, that stuff I stole from work. -Oh, okay.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 45
Hello, Mr. Burns. Like to watch the fight?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 46
-Simpson? -Yes.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 47
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...and honed his skills while serving time for assault...
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I've made a couple of important decisions.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 51
Eight! Nine! Ten!
Aired 33 years ago - Jan 31, 1991

When the TV breaks, Marge and Homer entertain the kids with the story of how they first met.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 1
-Congratulations. -D'oh!
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Who needs that? I'm never going to England. Let's smoke.
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-We're late for wood shop! -Let's go grab a burger.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 5
I found out that to hire professionals to do all the jobs of a housewife...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 6
Ms. Bouvier, I am surprised. One day of detention. You know where and when.
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There's gotta be a girl nobody wants to take.
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-I haven't seen you in school. -Okay, Simpson.
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-What's the matter? -Nothing.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 11
Oh, son, don't overreach!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 12
Okey-dokey. Good Lord, you should've come to see me a long time ago.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 13
She's active on the forensics team. They meet in room 219.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 14
But bringing up a son, even a blind one, isn't a lifetime occupation.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 15
I'll take that, stinkpot! Just warming up, Mrs. Bloominstein.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 16
No way.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 17
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Just ask Coach Flanagan. And ask Mr. Seckofsky and Barney Gumble!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 19
He's all things to men and maybe to a lucky gal. Wanna go to prom with me?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 20
French? What a coincidence! Just the subject I'm having trouble with.
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Uh-oh, a zit. No problemo.
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Not me. Shut it off and let's get down to business.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 23
Wait. Wait. Why don't we take a little study break?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 24
You're telling me new stuff and minutes later, it's still there.
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I'll take that as a compliment. Will you go out with me? Say oui.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 26
Wait, Marge. If honest and open is what you like, get a load of this.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 27
Hey, Barney. Guess who's got a date for the prom?!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 28
...the more you hurt him.
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"America's Affair With the Prom." "Even wallflowers can date--"
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 30
Is Marge here?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 31
Here she comes. Get the camera ready.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 32
...even though it meant skipping school and graduating this summer.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 33
Now that that unpleasantness is over, let's take a picture of the couple.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 34
Don't dance too closely, now. Have a good time.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 35
-Steak or chicken? -Both.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 36
Oh, isn't she great? Hail, Queen Marge! Long live the queen!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 37
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 38
Usually when I have a thought, there's others. Something says yes and no.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 39
Artie, I don't know. It was a beautiful evening. Let's not ruin it.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 40
Aired 33 years ago - Jan 24, 1991

After eating poisonous blowfish at a sushi restaurant, Homer decides to live life to the fullest in the 24 hours he has left to live.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 1
Akira, I'd like two sharks, an octopus and an eel.
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I'd like to dedicate this song to my wife, Patty.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 5
I don't believe I've tried the flying fish roll.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 6
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-Not fugu. If it's cut improperly-- -Yes, it's poisonous, maybe fatal.
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-I said cover for me, damn it! -Master, we need your skilled hands.
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-Concentrate. Concentrate. -I want fugu!
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Beautiful language, isn't it?
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"Try something new. How can it hurt you, Homer?"
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 13
If you have consumed blowfish venom, and the chef said it's probable...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 14
Death anxiety is normal. Expect to go through five stages.
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Your progress astounds me. I'll leave you two alone.
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I'm not done yet, Marge.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 18
"Watch the sunrise."
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-Why did you let me sleep late? -You looked so peaceful.
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I wanna have a heart-to-heart talk!
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Number one: Cover for me. Number two: Oh, good idea, boss!
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...tear off some little squares and stick one there...
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And that's how we shave.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 24
Does a father have to explain? Let's just share your gift, okay?
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"Make videotape for Maggie."
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Sounds terrif!
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Hope that didn't scare you. Maggie, you're grown-up now.
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-You do? -Uh-huh.
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Gee. If I wasn't on such a tight schedule....
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-Maybe we don't wanna give it to you. -Maybe we wanna haul your butt in.
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Okay, Flash. You get one phone call.
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Thanks! I just wasted my only call on your stupid--
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 38
What did you do? Kill a judge?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 39
-Why candles? -Sometimes candles are fun.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 40
You're dying and you wouldn't even stop to have a beer with your buddies?
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-Burns! Eat my shorts! -Who the sam hill was that?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 42
Oh, Homer. Come on! You've got time for one last beer. Please!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 43
Hey, is there a Butts here? A Seymour Butts?
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It was busy. Moe, another last beer, please.
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-How European! -Come on! I gotta get home!
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Goodbye, Lisa. I know you'll make me proud.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 50
Oh, it's read by Larry King.
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Amariah begets Ahitub. Ahitub begets--
Aired 33 years ago - Jan 10, 1991

After Mr. Burns hits Bart with his car, ambulance-chasing attorney Lionel Hutz persuades Homer and Marge to sue for a million dollars.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 1
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Remember, lie, cheat, steal and listen to heavy metal music!
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I did go away, Mom!
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-It turns into a sponge in water. -Classy.
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He might have permanent injuries. You may have to wait on him...
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You're right. When you're up to it, come to my office and we'll talk.
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Better let him rest a while.
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Simpson, at last we meet.
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...relinquishing your right to sue.
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In here, Mr. Simpson.
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Yes, Harvard, Yale, MIT, Oxford, the Sorbonne, the Louvre.
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Your son is a very sick boy. Just look at the X-rays!
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No, of course you won't. Everything's fine.
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Mrs. Simpson, you're not a doctor. He's not, I'm not.
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A million dollars? Smithers! I want this Homer Simpson fired!
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They might be critical of you firing him so soon after the accident.
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Springfield Municipal Court is now in session. Judge Moulton presiding.
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...I'll cite you for contempt.
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...and telling a lie, don't you?
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Yes, sir. It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon.
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Mr. Burns, relate in your own words...
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Take me, I'm old!
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They hate me? What trial were you watching?
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I didn't know you liked animals.
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Yes. Now, old chum...
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Well, a handsome sum that can end this imbroglio once and for all.
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He's offering us this because he knows he'll lose...
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Phony doctors? Hello.
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Your Honor, I'd like to call to the stand...
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-She was taking that very seriously. -Oh, the truth!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 39
But wait a minute! I'm confused.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 40
What is your opinion of Dr. Riviera?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 41
Now that I think about it, I'm not sure he's a doctor.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 42
...so that may not count as anguish.
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$5?
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It's not quite as large as the last one...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 45
No, you two-timing, backstabbing-- Better answer.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 46
-Marge, may I go to Moe's for a drink? -Sure.
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You're better off. Rich people aren't happy.
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-Well, hello. -My name's Marge.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 49
You think this is about money? It's not. It's worse.
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It's time to be honest.
Aired 33 years ago - Dec 20, 1990

Marge wages a one-woman campaign against violence on the Itchy and Scratchy Show. She wins that battle, but draws the line at censoring Michelangelo's "David."

Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 1
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Where would a child get the idea to attack her father with a mallet?
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But if you take them away, we'll grow up without humor and be robots.
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You heard me. I won't be in for the rest of the week.
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-What are you doing? -Cataloguing the violence.
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What kind of warped human being would find that funny?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 9
I know this may sound silly at first...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 10
Yours truly, Marge Simpson.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 11
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How long are we gonna do this?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 14
It's a crusade against cartoon violence.
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-Have fun. -We will.
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-I'll make up for it. -Who's up for cartoons?
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Hi, kids! Guess what, Sideshow Mel.
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-Who are you people? -What do we want?
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That woman. That screwball, Marge Simpson.
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-When do we want it? -Now!
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So much brutality. I don't know if I'm having any impact.
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Where do they get their ideas?
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Are cartoons too violent? Most people say, "No! What a stupid question!"
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--Krusty, whose program brings us Itchy & Scratchy every afternoon....
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-It's a bad influence on children. -Give me a break!
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-It went on for 30 years. -This was before cartoons?
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I'm referring to women who love too much, fear of winning, sex-aholism.
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Not a thing. Now, for another opinion.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 31
Mrs. Simpson, in the nine seconds left, can you summarize your position?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 32
Wow, that's cold.
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-Itchy stole Scratchy's ice cream-- -Make it a pie. Easier to draw.
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-How do we end this? -Let's see....
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 36
It's an asphalt spreader! It's 67 tools in one!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 37
-Turn it up! -Hey kids! Time for Itchy & Scratchy!
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Lemonade?
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-This hits the spot. -Doesn't it?
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-No. Come on. -Maybe there's something else to do.
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What did you kids do today?
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 45
Wow! What great kids. This is the golden age, Marge!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 46
...on a tour of the U.S.
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Well, I guess that settles that.
Aired 33 years ago - Dec 06, 1990

Bart decides to emulate his hero, daredevil Lance Murdoch, and performs increasingly risky stunts on his skateboard. When he sets his sights on Springfield Gorge, Homer intervenes.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 1
If you miss it, you better be dead or in jail. If you're in jail, break out!
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I have my first solo. If you miss it, start looking for a child therapist.
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-We can go to both. -Marge, you're a genius!
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Ladies, gentlemen, parents. Welcome to the first in a series of concerts.
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-That was beautiful. Can we go now? -Sit down, Homer.
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It's coming up, son. It's coming up.
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-Truck-a-saurus! -Where? Where?
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Pull! Pull, you dogs!
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I'm Leo G. Clark, inventor and operator of Truck-a-saurus.
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Look, Homer, champagne!
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Let the destruction begin! Hey, they forgot my corn dogs.
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...filled with great white sharks...
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...one drop of human blood.
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What a fun-filled evening.
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Bart? Bart? We're home, son.
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Spare me your lectures, ladies.
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...and monkey see, monkey do.
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This little boy broke his leg trying to fly like Superman.
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-I did it. -Wow! All right!
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Wow!
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...that you do from reading.
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This is Lisa and Bart Simpson. Bart's one of your biggest fans.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 36
-Who should I make it to? -Just Bart.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 37
Your pal, Captain Lance Murdock.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 38
Good to see kids interested in danger.
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You're welcome. Tell the nurse it's my bath time.
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I can and do! Go to your room! There, I did it.
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He's got us. There's nothing we can do. He's as good as dead.
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-Bart? What are you doing?! -Nothing.
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This isn't a promise I don't expect you to keep.
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-How did it go? -We got a pretty good kid there.
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You'll see what it's like to watch a family member risk his life...
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-I won't jump anymore. I promise! -Thank God! Thank God!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 50
This is the greatest thrill of my life! I'm king of the world!
Aired 33 years ago - Nov 22, 1990

Bart ruins Thanksgiving when he accidentally destroys Lisa's Thanksgiving centerpiece. Angry at being asked to apologize, he runs away and roams Springfield in search of dinner.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 1
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-Honey, you're in the way. -Can't I help?
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It's in the second drawer from the right. No, no, the other one.
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Cranberry sauce à la Bart.
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He wants them to lose by less than five points.
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Some people find your turkey a little dry.
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...invites you to join them in a salute to the greatest hemisphere...
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Before we sit down to our delicious turkey purée...
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 11
Oh, I knew they wouldn't forget me.
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Lisa, my goodness. That's very impressive.
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I couldn't tell you. It was a labor of love.
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-Move it, toots! -Mom!
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-Hey, that got her going! -Bitchen!
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I'll take some white meat to go, and send up the pie.
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And Lord, we're thankful for nuclear power...
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Lord, be honest! Are we the most pathetic family in the universe?
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They think they can starve an apology out of me?
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Come on, give me that. Give me that! Don't! Okay, out you go!
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It's cooling on the windowsill.
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Don't worry. We'll get some grub. Even if we have to pay for it.
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At the risk of losing my voice...
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-Isn't that true, Homer? -Yes, Dad.
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Oh, we have our reasons: They're depressing.
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You won't find the freeloader or Charlie Chaplin's little tramp here.
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"I saw the best meals--"
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Give me the number for 911!
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See you at Christmas.
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Forget the report? He's down at the Rescue Mission!
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-I said he ruined Thanksgiving. -Oh, I see.
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 43
This is a terrible thing that's happened.
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-Hey, everybody, I'm home. -Bart? You're home!
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-Okay, I'm sorry too. -No, no, no! That won't do at all!
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I'm sorry all right. Sorry I came back here!
Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 48
...Simpson down by six with two seconds left.
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...and maybe it's my fault. I failed to take his abuse with humor.
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Because you hate me or because you're bad?
Aired 33 years ago - Nov 15, 1990

Competition erupts between neighbors when Todd Flanders and Bart enter a miniature golf tournament. Facing increasing pressure from their fathers, the boys find a way to settle things.

Recap of The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 1
-I've got the best dad in the world. -Now you know how that embarrasses me.
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I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. I hope you understand.
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-Lousy bragging know-it-all showoff. -What did he say?
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-He's perfect now, is he? -He's not perfect, but he is nice.
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And yet I feel a great sadness in my bosom."
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-What a sap. -Read the bosom part again, Dad.
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I'm studying for the math fair. If I win, I'll get a protractor.
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-D'oh! That was practice. -Play it where it lays.
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-Give up, there's a six-stroke limit. -I can still make this for five.
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-Okay. -Great....
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Final score: Bart, 41. Homer....
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Yeah? The fruit of my loins can beat the fruit of your loins any day.
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Keep your head down. Not you, I'm talking to the boy.
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-Now give your putter a name. -What?
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...and how glorious it will be when you and Charlene destroy him.
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Aren't you making too big a deal of this tournament?
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Who are those guys in chess that don't matter?
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-Hi, Lisa. -Hey, gang.
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-Close the logical part of your mind. -Okay.
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It is time.
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"May the best man win." The loser's mating call.
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-Simpson, you're starting to annoy me. -How about this, Henny Penny?
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-Read that back to me. -"The father of the loser--"
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Good gravy, what did I do?
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Marge, give me your honest opinion. This, or this?
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-Oatmeal. -Oatmeal?
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Good afternoon. Welcome to the finale...
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-But here goes. I believe in you. -Thanks, man.
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Young Flanders has the honor and will tee off first.
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Neither in best form. This pressure can unhinge the steeliest competitor.
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Ladies and gentlemen, we have a draw.
Aired 33 years ago - Nov 08, 1990

Homer becomes a local celebrity as the Springfield Isotopes' mascot. When he's promoted to the big leagues, the family moves to Capital City.

When a three-eyed fish is found in a nearby stream, the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant faces bad publicity and fails an inspection. Mr. Burns runs for governor, but his spin doctors are no match for Marge.

Aired 33 years ago - Oct 24, 1990

In the first segment, the family moves into a haunted mansion. In the second segment, aliens abduct the Simpsons and invite them to what might be their last supper. In the final segment, Lisa reads Bart Edgar Allan Poe's classic poem "The Raven."

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-Evil? -Quiet. You're scaring your mother.
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We're not talking about a few dollars. We're talking a few thousand dollars!
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Lisa. Lisa.
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Die! Die! Everybody die!
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This family has had its differences...
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Mr. Plott? Homer Simpson here.
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-He says he mentioned it. -Let's go, kids.
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...possibly your brains, will start coming out through your nose.
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Better than your eyes bursting.
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Don't talk that way.
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You can't help but feel a little rejected.
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Well, that last story was a warmup for this macabre tale I call:
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By coincidence, our languages are exactly the same.
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We face that prejudice every day, but we are happy on our planet.
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-Fried shrimp. -Sloppy joes.
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The girl's right. Let's get some applesauce for these pork chops!
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We get over a million channels from the far reaches of the galaxy.
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Anyone that has mastered intergalactic travel, raise your hand.
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Oh, we wouldn't want to spoil our appetite for...
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-Tell us more about this feast. -No, eat now.
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Excellent, Mr. Simpson. Excellent.
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-She's right. -You have stopped eating.
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-Let me get this straight. -They thought we would eat them.
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Well, if you wanted to make Serak cry, mission accomplished.
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You would have experienced emotions greater than what you call love...
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There were monsters on that ship, and we were them.
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While I pondered Weak and weary
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Only this and nothing more
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Filled me with fantastic terrors Never felt before
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I was napping, and you came rapping And so faintly you came tapping
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Soon again I heard tapping Something louder than before
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No obeisance made he Not a minute stayed he
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-Tell me what thy name is-- -Quoth the Raven
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-Perfumed by some unseen censer -Stupid censer.
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-Be that word our sign of parting-- -I shrieked up starting
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Take thy beak from out my heart And take thy form from off my door
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The Raven never flitting Still is sitting, still is sitting
Aired 33 years ago - Oct 18, 1990

After Homer charges a miracle hair growth treatment to the company's health insurance, his new found confidence gets him a promotion.

Aired 33 years ago - Oct 11, 1990

In danger of flunking the fourth grade, Bart strikes a deal with the class brain: in exchange for tutoring, he will help Martin become more popular.

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-You haven't been paying attention! -Yes, ma'am.
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A couple more games and I'll hit the books.
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After dinner, it's down to business.
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Hand me your paper. I'll put it on the refrigerator.
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Well, maybe just one more hour.
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On September 15, 1620, separatists from the Church of England...
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Just a little dim, I guess.
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-Why'd they leave England? -Giant rats.
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All right, take one and pass the rest back.
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Maybe one more dish. Make it cappuccino chocolate fudge.
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-You'll still fail that test. -I've got my bases covered.
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Here you go, Mrs. Krabappel. You'll be pleasantly surprised.
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This is a classic case of what laymen refer to as "fear of failure."
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Bart failed his last four exams. Is there anything you haven't told us?
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It isn't that simple.
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Look in my eyes. See the sincerity? See the fear?
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My recommendation is for Bart to repeat the fourth grade.
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-Quit bugging me about the pirate. -Long John Silver, Dad.
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I didn't want to interfere with a ball in play.
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They laugh at me? I'd always considered myself rather popular.
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-Very well, you've made your point. -Then it's a deal?
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The screams, the humiliation, the fact that it wasn't me!
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I need one more day to study, Lord. I need your help.
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Whoa! Good morning, world!
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Now, for all you youngsters, here it is.
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Last night, you prayed for this. Now your prayers have been answered.
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I'm not missing anything. Frozen ears.
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"Four Days in Philadelphia.
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-In the middle of July? -It's a miracle.
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It's a 59. That's another F.
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No, you don't understand. I tried this time. I really tried.