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M*A*S*H

S4 E5
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Ended
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CBS
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Season 4  "Hey, Doc"  4x5

Aired 50 years ago - Oct 10, 1975

Its quid pro quo at the 4077th: two bottles of Scotch for secret surgery, and a tank to scare off snipers for an unauthorized shot of penicillin.

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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 1
It's sad, pathetic.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 2
Because by day's end,
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 3
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 4
I mean, don't get me wrong, the chocolate milk is awesome.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 5
So national has you on a list of legacies.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 6
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 7
And replace you with stepford-claire.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 8
What would stepford-gretchen wear to one of these things?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 9
Specializing in psychopathy, malignant narcissism disorder--
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 10
The guy doesn't know his name, what day it is, nothing.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 11
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 12
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 13
- He was like this when we found him.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 14
[gunshots]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 15
- Captain, can you do me a favor and unlock these cuffs?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 16
- Let's clean you up. Get you some clothes.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 17
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 18
I have another theory-- conversion disorder.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 19
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 20
- You did call nathan, right?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 21
- Yes, you hide in here.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 22
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 23
Start over.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 24
It's been six years.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 25
- Emma.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 26
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 27
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 28
Which brings us to my absolute favorite part of rush...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 29
- No, this is what normal girls do, right?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 30
- You used to be a cheerleader, right?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 31
- Yeah. [chuckles]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 32
[loud honking]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 33
[silence]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 34
- I mean, you almost... Are you all right?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 36
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 37
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 38
- Who is it?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 39
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 40
Making promises and proclamations to all of us
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 41
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 42
Looks kind of exactly like that.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 43
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 45
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 46
- No, don't worry about it. I mean, it's a mixer, right?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 47
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 48
Like I'm feeling everything for the first time.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 49
And then they're not. They're gone.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 50
- "jamais vu."

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 2
Because by day's end,
#2 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 3 #3 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 4
I mean, don't get me wrong, the chocolate milk is awesome.
#4 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 5
So national has you on a list of legacies.
#5 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 6 #6 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 7
And replace you with stepford-claire.
#7 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 8
What would stepford-gretchen wear to one of these things?
#8 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 9
Specializing in psychopathy, malignant narcissism disorder--
#9 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 10
The guy doesn't know his name, what day it is, nothing.
#10 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 11 #11 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 12 #12 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 13
- He was like this when we found him.
#13 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 14
[gunshots]
#14 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 15
- Captain, can you do me a favor and unlock these cuffs?
#15 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 16
- Let's clean you up. Get you some clothes.
#16 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 17 #17 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 18
I have another theory-- conversion disorder.
#18 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 19 #19 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 20
- You did call nathan, right?
#20 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 21
- Yes, you hide in here.
#21 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 22 #22 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 23
Start over.
#23 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 24
It's been six years.
#24 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 25
- Emma.
#25 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 26 #26 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 27 #27 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 28
Which brings us to my absolute favorite part of rush...
#28 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 29
- No, this is what normal girls do, right?
#29 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 30
- You used to be a cheerleader, right?
#30 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 31
- Yeah. [chuckles]
#31 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 32
[loud honking]
#32 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 33
[silence]
#33 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 34
- I mean, you almost... Are you all right?
#34 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 35 #35 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 36 #36 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 37 #37 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 38
- Who is it?
#38 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 39 #39 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 40
Making promises and proclamations to all of us
#40 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 41 #41 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 42
Looks kind of exactly like that.
#42 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 43 #43 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 44 #44 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 45 #45 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 46
- No, don't worry about it. I mean, it's a mixer, right?
#46 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 47 #47 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 48
Like I'm feeling everything for the first time.
#48 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 49
And then they're not. They're gone.
#49 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 50
- "jamais vu."
#50