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How I Met Your Mother

S1 E19
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CBS
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Season 1  "Mary the Paralegal"  1x19

Aired 18 years ago - Apr 24, 2006

Robin is nominated to receive an award for a news report and everyone needs a date to take to the show. Barney introduces Ted to Mary as a date that Ted can take to the show. Originally Ted is opposed to the idea of just trying to save face in front of Robin but when she shows up with a date he changes his mind. Robin asks Mary lots of questions, and Ted begins to really like Mary, despite her occupation.

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Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 1
- Ted, you are in a slump. - No, it's not a slump.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 2
A naked dudes hanging brain.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 3
You want to judge a fellow human being based solely on one external characteristic?
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 4
So should I wear my hair up or down?
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 5
and now the kids are just going crazy by the end of the day.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 6
Do you think, um... hypothetically... it would be weird if I bring a date?
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 7
No, it's not going to be weird at all.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 8
Look, in spite of whatever happened between us, Robin and I are still friends.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 9
Nice to meet you Ted.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 10
Dude, your narrow-minded views on professional fornicators were harshing my mellow.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 11
you'll come to see that courtesans are people, too.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 12
Look, I'm just trying to expand your horizons a little bit tonight.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 13
I'm not trying to make Robin jealous, Barney.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 14
It's Sandy Rivers.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 15
Here we have, on the front page, a story about a...
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 16
Yosemite Sandy, definitely.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 17
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 18
- You look nice. - Oh, um, Ted, this is Sandy.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 19
Uh, Robin, Sandy... Rivers...
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 20
king of the Saturday Afternoon Kung Fu Movie,
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 21
Man, Vampire Lou just looks great.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 22
No, not really.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 23
Oh, yeah, I'm just tired. And when I get tired, I get cranky.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 24
Work at a private school. You won't have to deal with the school board,
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 25
A prostitute.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 26
I just assist with day-to-day clerical work in a law firm downtown.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 27
Yes, it's encouraged.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 28
Don't let him out of your sight for a minute.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 29
where I make an actual contribution to the world.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 30
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 31
this girl, despite what she did for a living, was kind of great.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 32
So you're going to be mad at me forever? What, we're not even friends now?
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 33
You know something? Mary the paralegal is awesome.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 34
- Hey. - Hey.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 35
Yeah? Maybe it's too bad we don't have a room.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 36
Sleep with a prostitute?
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 37
And second of all, you cannot do this.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 38
Mike Murphy for 13, Pregnant and Addicted.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 39
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 40
And that's it. Those are all my friends.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 41
Yeah, this party's dead. Mary, you want to go upstairs?
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 42
Besides, I'm trying to make Robin jealous.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 43
Well...
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 44
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 45
So you and he aren't...?
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 46
and we tell each other everything. So, here it goes.
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 47
and then Barney calls her up and then she shows up at the bar
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 48
Oh, my God, I used her lipstick! Ah!
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 49
Vampire Lou, would you do the honors?
 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 50

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 2
A naked dudes hanging brain.
#2 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 3
You want to judge a fellow human being based solely on one external characteristic?
#3 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 4
So should I wear my hair up or down?
#4 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 5
and now the kids are just going crazy by the end of the day.
#5 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 6
Do you think, um... hypothetically... it would be weird if I bring a date?
#6 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 7
No, it's not going to be weird at all.
#7 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 8
Look, in spite of whatever happened between us, Robin and I are still friends.
#8 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 9
Nice to meet you Ted.
#9 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 10
Dude, your narrow-minded views on professional fornicators were harshing my mellow.
#10 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 11
you'll come to see that courtesans are people, too.
#11 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 12
Look, I'm just trying to expand your horizons a little bit tonight.
#12 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 13
I'm not trying to make Robin jealous, Barney.
#13 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 14
It's Sandy Rivers.
#14 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 15
Here we have, on the front page, a story about a...
#15 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 16
Yosemite Sandy, definitely.
#16 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 17 #17 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 18
- You look nice. - Oh, um, Ted, this is Sandy.
#18 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 19
Uh, Robin, Sandy... Rivers...
#19 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 20
king of the Saturday Afternoon Kung Fu Movie,
#20 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 21
Man, Vampire Lou just looks great.
#21 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 22
No, not really.
#22 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 23
Oh, yeah, I'm just tired. And when I get tired, I get cranky.
#23 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 24
Work at a private school. You won't have to deal with the school board,
#24 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 25
A prostitute.
#25 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 26
I just assist with day-to-day clerical work in a law firm downtown.
#26 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 27
Yes, it's encouraged.
#27 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 28
Don't let him out of your sight for a minute.
#28 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 29
where I make an actual contribution to the world.
#29 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 30 #30 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 31
this girl, despite what she did for a living, was kind of great.
#31 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 32
So you're going to be mad at me forever? What, we're not even friends now?
#32 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 33
You know something? Mary the paralegal is awesome.
#33 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 34
- Hey. - Hey.
#34 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 35
Yeah? Maybe it's too bad we don't have a room.
#35 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 36
Sleep with a prostitute?
#36 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 37
And second of all, you cannot do this.
#37 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 38
Mike Murphy for 13, Pregnant and Addicted.
#38 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 39 #39 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 40
And that's it. Those are all my friends.
#40 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 41
Yeah, this party's dead. Mary, you want to go upstairs?
#41 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 42
Besides, I'm trying to make Robin jealous.
#42 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 43
Well...
#43 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 44 #44 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 45
So you and he aren't...?
#45 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 46
and we tell each other everything. So, here it goes.
#46 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 47
and then Barney calls her up and then she shows up at the bar
#47 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 48
Oh, my God, I used her lipstick! Ah!
#48 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 49
Vampire Lou, would you do the honors?
#49 Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 50 #50