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The Simpsons

S10 E9
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Season 10  "Mayored to the Mob"  10x9

Aired 25 years ago - Dec 20, 1998

After a riot at a sci-fi convention, Mayor Quimby hires Homer as his bodyguard, and Homer witnesses the rampant corruption in town politics. When Homer takes a stand, he runs afoul of the Springfield mafia.

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Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 1
People! People! This man has actually been in outer space.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 2
Silence, you nickel-plated nitwit!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 3
for this stack of water-damaged Little Lulus.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 4
- Comb the Sweet Tarts out of your beard and you're on. - Don't try to change me, baby.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 5
Luke Skywalker himself, Mark Hamill!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 6
As you can see, you stand to save up to 1 7 cents a month over the more dependable providers.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 7
Well, you're in luck 'cause we're gonna act out a scene...
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 8
With the acting and the groupies and the ''Luke, Luke, save me''...
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 9
Ya! Gadzooks! Where are my bodyguards?
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 10
Take him. He's the one you want.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 11
Homer Simpson, nerd-buster, and I'm gettin' you out of here.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 12
How was I supposed to know it's not a real spaceship?
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 13
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 14
Or have his genitals hooked up to a car battery?
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 15
As a bodyguard, your only loyalty is to your protectee.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 16
Okay. Listen up. My goal is to assassinate that watermelon.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 17
I mean, you gotta sell it. Remember, your ''No!'' is what gets you your next job.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 18
However, your checks have cleared, so you all graduate. Congratulations.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 19
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 20
Hold it. What's your clearance?
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 21
I asked you to take out the garbage three days ago, and you still haven't-
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 22
- [ Honks ] - [ Wolf Whistle ]
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 23
Get out ofhere. These stools are reserved for the mayor and his cronies.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 24
especially during this health inspection season.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 25
And after Moe's, we went to Krusty Burger, and the mayor got some more change.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 26
Sure the mayor takes a few bribes, but he also makes the trains run on time.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 27
Thank you, Mayor Quimby, for honoring us with the school milk concession.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 28
So, how'd you get the nickname ''Legs''?
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 29
[ Gasps ] Crap on a crust!
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 30
- [ Disgusted Sound ] - [ Gulping, Slurping ]
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 31
Get that away from me. Kids, I don't want you drinking any more milk... ever.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 32
And to think I respected you... and defended you.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 33
I'll just use the body to stage an elaborate farce a la Weekend at Bernie's and-
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 34
You're forgetting. You've got the best bodyguard in the business.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 35
[ Grunts ] Did you know that this is how F.D.R. met Eleanor?
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 36
We're shutting you down, you filthy I-talians.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 37
Can you, uh, edit out the laughs?
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 38
[ Rats Squeaking ]
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 39
- And so, as the rats' milk is returned to the sewers- - [ Meowing ]
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 40
like the killing of you by us.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 41
It's my duty, Marge. Besides, those mobsters don't scare me.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 42
I was thinking of a quiet evening at home with the, uh- [ Sighs ] wife.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 43
- Excuse me. - [ Drawn-out ] Yes?
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 44
Dear Lord, please make tonight's production better than Othello with Peter Marshall.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 45
But I do have something for the mayor that perhaps you could deliver.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 46
Ah, au gratin potatoes. That's a quality side.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 47
Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 48
I don't have time for this. I got 7 5 shortcakes to strawberry.
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 49
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who is before the cat?
 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 50

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 2
Silence, you nickel-plated nitwit!
#2 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 3
for this stack of water-damaged Little Lulus.
#3 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 4
- Comb the Sweet Tarts out of your beard and you're on. - Don't try to change me, baby.
#4 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 5
Luke Skywalker himself, Mark Hamill!
#5 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 6
As you can see, you stand to save up to 1 7 cents a month over the more dependable providers.
#6 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 7
Well, you're in luck 'cause we're gonna act out a scene...
#7 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 8
With the acting and the groupies and the ''Luke, Luke, save me''...
#8 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 9
Ya! Gadzooks! Where are my bodyguards?
#9 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 10
Take him. He's the one you want.
#10 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 11
Homer Simpson, nerd-buster, and I'm gettin' you out of here.
#11 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 12
How was I supposed to know it's not a real spaceship?
#12 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 13 #13 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 14
Or have his genitals hooked up to a car battery?
#14 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 15
As a bodyguard, your only loyalty is to your protectee.
#15 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 16
Okay. Listen up. My goal is to assassinate that watermelon.
#16 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 17
I mean, you gotta sell it. Remember, your ''No!'' is what gets you your next job.
#17 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 18
However, your checks have cleared, so you all graduate. Congratulations.
#18 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 19 #19 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 20
Hold it. What's your clearance?
#20 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 21
I asked you to take out the garbage three days ago, and you still haven't-
#21 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 22
- [ Honks ] - [ Wolf Whistle ]
#22 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 23
Get out ofhere. These stools are reserved for the mayor and his cronies.
#23 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 24
especially during this health inspection season.
#24 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 25
And after Moe's, we went to Krusty Burger, and the mayor got some more change.
#25 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 26
Sure the mayor takes a few bribes, but he also makes the trains run on time.
#26 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 27
Thank you, Mayor Quimby, for honoring us with the school milk concession.
#27 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 28
So, how'd you get the nickname ''Legs''?
#28 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 29
[ Gasps ] Crap on a crust!
#29 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 30
- [ Disgusted Sound ] - [ Gulping, Slurping ]
#30 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 31
Get that away from me. Kids, I don't want you drinking any more milk... ever.
#31 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 32
And to think I respected you... and defended you.
#32 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 33
I'll just use the body to stage an elaborate farce a la Weekend at Bernie's and-
#33 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 34
You're forgetting. You've got the best bodyguard in the business.
#34 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 35
[ Grunts ] Did you know that this is how F.D.R. met Eleanor?
#35 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 36
We're shutting you down, you filthy I-talians.
#36 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 37
Can you, uh, edit out the laughs?
#37 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 38
[ Rats Squeaking ]
#38 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 39
- And so, as the rats' milk is returned to the sewers- - [ Meowing ]
#39 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 40
like the killing of you by us.
#40 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 41
It's my duty, Marge. Besides, those mobsters don't scare me.
#41 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 42
I was thinking of a quiet evening at home with the, uh- [ Sighs ] wife.
#42 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 43
- Excuse me. - [ Drawn-out ] Yes?
#43 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 44
Dear Lord, please make tonight's production better than Othello with Peter Marshall.
#44 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 45
But I do have something for the mayor that perhaps you could deliver.
#45 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 46
Ah, au gratin potatoes. That's a quality side.
#46 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 47 #47 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 48
I don't have time for this. I got 7 5 shortcakes to strawberry.
#48 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 49
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who is before the cat?
#49 Recap of The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 9 (S10E09) - 50 #50