Status
Continuing
Next episode
3 years ago
Airs
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FX
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 4

Aired 11 years ago - Apr 11, 2013

Archer and the ISIS crew go to an underwater SEA LABoratory to stop the deranged Captain Murphy.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 1
I've thought through every aspect of the mission.
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Boop.
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TIFFY: Sea Tum' to DSV Goddess.
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LANA: Asshole! ARCHER: What, Lana? I clearly called skipper.
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Do you think that was wise? Meaning?
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He tried to have me committed so he could steal my inheritance!
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Always teasing me, calling me Spamela, rubbing cheese curds in my eyes.
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Who could forgive a person who buys a boat this big with no bar on it'?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 10
Oh, great. The World's first DSVUI.
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Da-da-da-da. You drink it, you replace it.
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She thinks our whole society is gonna collapse if we run out of oil or whatever.
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Well, God bless corn subsidies.
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...so we can enjoy what is probably a once-in-a-lifetime ad-
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--When I say we'd all be a lot happier if you weren't so--
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What were you gonna say?
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And I hate that it's come to this, but I truly don't see an alternative.
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But then I thought better of it.
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Chet, sound guy.
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Fourth. And third-ranked pro kitesurfer.
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CYRIL: Jeezy Petes, that thing is huge.
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Do you think this is some kind of a trap? Heh. What?
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MURPHY: My men are guarding the missiles. CYRIL: Well, there goes that plan.
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The bridge is where the chair is!
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LANA & GILLETTE: Ugh. I really doubt we'll have time, Randy.
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Oh. That's just an idiom. It means--
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I just wanted to help people, but all these foundations are so expensive.
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Which I never bothered to read.
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And also my salary is $600,000 a year.
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At least. The fish have to replenish.
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So I think you should come with us, and-- I'm not going anywhere. Nor are you!
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And air pressure.
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[SCATTING TO ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
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Uh, okay, uh, one of two things is going to happen now.
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Oh, my God, I'm having the weirdest déja vu right now.
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GILLETTE: Oh, my-- Oh, I hurt my back. AUTOMATED VOICE: Pod one, flooded.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 40
And I just refilled the cans.
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This is pod two.
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Okay, there's-- Wait, why did a TV crew have a gun?
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Unh. Scuba gear.
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Best case, for a strong swimmer, two minutes.
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What-- Lana, this isn't entirely about race.
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...that's why I've been puking, and that's why my boobs are so huge!
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Crushed by an off-brand drink machine.
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Shut up. Here. Wh--?
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And if it didn't, all the more reason to drive this tub to Bermuda...
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Archer? Lana.
Aired 11 years ago - Apr 04, 2013

Cheryl's brother Cecil Tunt and his girlfriend Tiffy drive her crazier than usual as they travel into the Bermuda Triangle. Where mysteries abound!.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 1
Remember when your new episodes are out with TVShow Time for iPhone and Android
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 2
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...an undersea laboratory and this choppersaurus?
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I swear to God, if you get us kicked off before I get my jumbo scrimps on...
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Because he's totally vegan...
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Done. You're okay, Cecil.
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Well, of countries ravaged by war. Right, otherwise--
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Man, all those charities have gotta cost, like-- Hey, I should go help Tiffy...
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My nerves are frayed enough as it is. Really?
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You done?
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I guess whatever useless thing philanthropists normally get...
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Was it that goose you freed, ruining last year's Christmas dinner, or-?
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Well, you seem busy.
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I was curious if you'd noticed anything, well, curious about her behavior.
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Oh, my God. I don't know what to say.
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But you're telling me she had...
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Well, I appreciate your candor in this matter, Ms. Archer.
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Okay. Love our little talks.
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Plus, I assume you've got an EpiPen on this big Riptide-looking bastard?
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It's either us or the Russians-- I did not hear that, but--
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Oh, and also, dummies, we're 500 miles from the nearest tree.
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Last one.
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But since all I'm asking is a measly 3 percent,
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I wasn't going to. Well, then what's on your mind?
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Look, auditory hallucinations aren't gonna make you any less delicious.
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...so that he can show it to a judge and get conservatorship over me.
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...you also thought you were a werewolf!
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I, uh... No.
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And the seas are really choppy, so we may be in for a rough landing.
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I am actually.
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Nothing. There's nothing to talk about, because I am--
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The cockpit is off-limits, missy! Oh, yeah?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 37
What the hell is going on? It's Cheryl. She's in the cockpit.
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Cheryl! Cheryl, open this door!
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Cheryl, can you come out so we can talk about this like adults...
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That's why she hijacked his helicopter?
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That Hairy Navel was mostly Kentucky Moon.
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Are you ready?
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Mm-hm!
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Because you've been trying to get your bony man-hooks on her money for years...
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Help us get the hydrogen bomb, yeah.
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...so I could get control of her inheritance
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Wait, so if all you wanted was to get us on tape saying she's crazy--
Aired 11 years ago - Mar 28, 2013

Archer must rescue the Pope from an assassination plot using Woodhouse as a decoy. Operation Bad Habit is a go.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 1
Lana, it's an undercover mission. At the Vatican?
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priests wouldn't peg him- as American?
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In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti, et cetera, et -
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For your information, Lana, I have totally prepared for this mission.
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But even if you were prepared- Which I truly feel that I am.
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Since none of your beeswax, and- Bwoohahaahaaa!
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Guess that explains that. But it doesn't explain
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Paaaam!
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-- whereas I was just speaking Italian, which neither
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 10
Duh?
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And Pam, if you keep your eyes open and your big
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Shut up! And you also shut up.
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Oh really?
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It was a bollard! And my point was- Fine! You're agent-in-
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Seriously, eat, you're like a slow loris.
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Oh for the -- and thanks for making me carry your bag through customs!
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Mio dio! You think this is funny?!
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It was an eight-hour flight.
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We call it the old switcheroo.
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Eh... non si traduce bene.
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Bloody hell. What are we doing here?
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Aw crap, he's already dead.
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Gonna see if his breath fogs it up.
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hell I'm going to hell I'm going to hell I'm-
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mirror? But like, a much much smaller one?
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What, why is there a giant mirror on the oh my God
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Chi siete voi, dove sono le guardie?!
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Dio mio! He look just like me!
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And then what?! You are only two!
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it's the Swiss Guard... I think we can handle a few court jesters
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Which is why where's the gear bag with all of our automatic weapons?!
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-- halberds. Although technically I think they're called voulges.
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Ow! Oh for shit's sake, already!
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Italy's so gay. Which, by the way, Pope, on the gay thing...
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So why are you scared of church stuff?
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No, I just -- Bishop the android from Aliens?
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That's impossible.
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side?! She's Lutheran!
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Because why would they be?!
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Holy sh -- it's a false flag operation! To make it look
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 41
Right, with the smudge-pot...
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Go! What're you doing?!
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Oh right.
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Shit, I had a pun about flares.
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- Fine, I'll buy a damn indulgence! Oh wait... - Wait until they're
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 46
goddamn agent-in-command!
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Ahhhh, oh!!
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Wrong X-Man, dumbass!
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Rrrgh. I'm fine!
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ARCHER
Aired 11 years ago - Mar 21, 2013

Archer and Lana extract an agent from Morocco only to find out his bark is worse than his bite.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 1
You have one. Yeah, I wish.
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"Your mother is a whore and a goatherd is her pimp."
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...who's driving this clown car like Parnelli fricking Jones?
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Are you coming?
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And now I can't sleep because I'm pretty sure I have a concussion.
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Okay, but you're missing out on all the great things Tangier has to offer.
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I drew because we don't know what's waiting for us behind this--
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ARCHER: I don't think he likes guns.
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She asked, regretfully, remembering that just moments earlier...
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Because she loved it more than you? Ha, ha. Very funny.
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See? He really doesn't like guns, Lana. He can't stress that enough.
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You could use a Tic Tac.
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He cannot be Kazak.
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Lana, look. He thinks he's people.
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[KAZAK BARKS]
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[CHERYL SIGHS]
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But you are here. Ah! If you walk over here and touch me...
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What a surprise. Speaking of...
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But I'm very comfortable in my own body, thank you very much. And--
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[KAZAK FARTING]
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...but now she won't even take my call?
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I also speak for Kazak, who, by the way, is the real victim here.
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But boat or not boat, we won't be getting on it.
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But why on earth do you feel you're qualified to be an ISIS field agent?
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No. But this can't-- You cheated.
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Sterile test conditions, anyway. But I can promise she didn't cheat.
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It can't determine if they're suited for actual field work.
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So you aced the test and beat up a Nazi, a nerd and queen of the robots'?
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LANA: Stop the car. I'm serious.
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Wouldn't have shot you for a gazillion bucks.
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I don't know. She threw away my phrasebook.
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I was gonna say, GPS, gun, sat phone, and canteen full of life-saving water.
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Or about you being carsick?
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LANA: Because you let him. Because you let him push your buttons.
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From the wrong direction. Oh, shit.
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Will you put Mother on the damn phone? What's the magic word?
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Plus, I'm an amazing driver. Plus, I almost never get sick.
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It's-- Because I never really got over that.
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Heh. I guess I had that coming.
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The hovercraft. Whatever. Why aren't you people on it?
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Coach, by the way-- And don't even get me started on that.
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Are you--? That's all we were after? Well, you could have told us, Mother.
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[ARCHER SIGHS THEN DOG GROWLS]
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[VOMITS]
Aired 11 years ago - Mar 14, 2013

Archer and Lana pose as newlyweds to stop a sale of enriched uranium.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 1
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Second, I trust Lana completely, especially with regard to Archer.
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I'm like a calculator. Add it up. Add it up.
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But we have to go now. The vet comes back from lunch in 20 minutes.
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Wait. What? Yeah.
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Yeah, whatever. But on the way we're-- Not swinging by the zoo.
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Well, I was gonna say Tokarevs and Shpagin-41 submachine guns...
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...during the coming nuclear winter. Ugh.
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You said my card was used at the Tuntmore Towers Hotel?
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I am literally going to kill him.
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Oh, he is going to pay for this. Literally.
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Oh, God. Were you raised in a barn?
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Look, just give me 10, 20 minutes and--
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Do you even know if that thing works?
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What? No. Actually, Archer's alone.
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Only if they're who screwed me out of my bonus.
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Okay. So it's gonna sound like I'm hanging up but...
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Ugh. The phone. Give me.
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Sucks, right? I mean, that's not even remotely fair.
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I'm coming! Phrasing, boom!
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The ultimate's doing it on top of a tranqed-up tiger.
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Your fault to begin with.
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Total, it's more like, holy shit, 19.
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And it is final.
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Wait, ha, ha. What? Uh, yeah. Hang on, you're breaking up.
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Yeah, which is why it's surprising that you're so shitty at it.
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You're allergic to penicillin. Oh, right. And...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 35
Look, you two stay if you want. I'm leaving.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 36
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 37
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 38
She's in command.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 39
We deal with you soon enough.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 40
Could you go ahead and shoot one or both of us now?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 41
It's not democratic, not a republic, and definitely not glorious.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 42
Wow! Okay, so since we're being racist--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 43
It's rosemary-mint.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 44
Nailed it. Boom!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 45
Whoo. Wow. Thank God you've been arrested so many times.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 46
Come on, Figgis. Come on, Figgis. Come on, Figgis.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 47
- Unh. - Uh, couple things.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 48
Because I left my jetpack in my other pants.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 49
Lana! I'm coming, Cyril.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 50
Cyril? Smoke fight! Whoo!
Aired 11 years ago - Mar 07, 2013

Archer heads to the Mexican border to capture a notorious coyote, which is Spanish for coyote.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 1
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 2
...but let's, you know, deescalate the situation.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 3
Well, here's some news, now this is happening.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 4
Oh, shit, I forgot there's people in there. Cyril, open the door, idiot.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 5
Ooh, or maybe our tax-funded government schools...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 6
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 7
Now, open the goddamn door.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 8
So? You get like six freebies. No, you don't!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 9
Wait, hang on, are you wearing Kevlar?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 10
So just so I'm clear, you expect me to believe...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 11
Still, though, it doesn't--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 12
You did say right this second.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 13
Cheap because they don't pay taxes. Thank you.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 14
Oh, my God, what's cereal made from?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 15
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 16
So share the goddamn Doritos!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 17
Yeah, or Arizona, Mexico, New Mexico.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 18
All right, point-- Wait, wait, wait.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 19
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 20
I'm serious, please, thank you, but we need to get back into Mexico.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 21
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 22
Well, this is the opposite of help!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 23
You think I'm some kind of a whore?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 24
ARCHER: Okay, okay, I'm pulling over.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 25
Oh, plus, you are just covered in polvo Dorito.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 26
And that, to me, is muy admirable.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 27
Here. MORENO: You are crazy.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 28
[GUNS CLICKING]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 29
What about the racial profiling, huh? Whatever happened to the probable cause?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 30
Really? You learn that in med school?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 31
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 32
I don't know, the police band is working, but now the eight-track is:
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 33
Oh, goddamn it.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 34
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 35
...which I had earmarked for vital operations.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 36
Which, to belabor the point, you failed.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 37
[SIGHS]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 38
That you obviously didn't get into?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 39
...equal responsibility with Lana. Wh--?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 40
...and then it's, ha-ha, beep, and then somehow Pm the idiot.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 41
Boy, I wish you'd tell that to the licensing board.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 42
[BOTH LAUGH]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 43
Now, can we go already?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 44
So if there's any way to get to one, a medevac chopper wouldn't kill him.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 45
Yes, just like you've done up to now.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 46
...to see if I can get my son out of this mess.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 47
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 48
You call headquarters, you say an innocent Amer--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 49
And besides, what kind of car will the Border Patrol be looking for?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 50
Huh. So, uh, I'm guessing that's a no posible on the blowjob?
Aired 11 years ago - Feb 28, 2013

Archer, Lana, and Cyril go undercover in celebrity chef Lance Casteau's hellish kitchen.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 1
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 2
Seize, please hold. Seize, please hold. Seize, please hold.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 3
Why? No, I was being facetious.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 4
That's not the real number for reservations.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 5
Yeah, so try to sound apologetic, but not, you know, overly so.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 6
Why do they need security, anyway?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 7
What? No, you know, just--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 8
That's my fish. His name's Jermaine.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 9
Wait, a dog ate a tourist? What? That was ambiguously worded.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 10
If you can't turn that into promo gold, you should honestly consider suicide.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 11
...and, uh, Chet here so... So scoop it into a bowl.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 12
And that's not my name!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 13
...are you maggots not prepping? I-- Wait, are you doing a bumper?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 14
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 15
Cy-- Chet, I need those onions! Yes, chef.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 16
...so I could win some of those x-ray specs?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 17
Oh, eat a dick. That's "Eat a dick, chef."
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 18
Nice. Yes, and that is excellent ABBAB. Always Be Berating and Belittling.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 19
Oh, my God, you admire that dick. He's a master chef, Lana...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 20
Plan. On going over the menu, yes.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 21
- Oh, so now I'm a monkey? - No, because a monkey--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 22
And I also think you might have low blood sugar.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 23
Please don't make me, and B...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 24
I so can't relate to that.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 25
Is that all? You don't want the fricking eyeballs?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 26
Okay, what's the word? How we doing?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 27
They're the-- They're the same thing.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 28
Uh, please don't B and/or B me too hard.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 29
Nice. Man, you should have been a chef. Oh. Pshaw.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 30
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 31
...associated with this physical address.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 32
If, in fact, I heard you correctly.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 33
If you're ever in Red Hook snooping around in random dumpsters.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 34
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 35
Thank you! Hoo-hoo.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 36
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 37
We've got the Albanian ambassador and all his little diplomat buddies.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 38
Hoo-hoo. Teddy. Such a scamp.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 39
And here you are, Mr. Ambassador. I prefer to be called Your Excellency.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 40
So instead of insulting the ambassador, whom we're here to protect--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 41
...I have to eat sheep face. Wait a minute.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 42
Okay, you know what? Excuse me. Yes, tell them all about it.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 43
Then why don't you go help Mincent Price with the--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 44
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 45
Tell Randy, as his final act before I walk back into the kitchen...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 46
...the tender flesh of which I'm now ruining under the broiler...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 47
...the ambassador extraordinary and plenipotentiary of Albania.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 48
Thank you, chef. The dolma, the rakia.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 49
Cyril and/or Chet? No, Cyril and Chet are now vegans.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 50
Boom! Bumper. I am just killing it today.
Aired 11 years ago - Feb 21, 2013

Archer is bitten by a snake in a "special place".

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 1
Remember when your new episodes are out with TVShow Time for iPhone and Android
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 2
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 3
Uh, meaning odd or strange?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 4
Yes, Lana, clomp, meaning-- I know what clomp means.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 5
Okay' Whereas this one--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 6
...that you are at all suited to a covert mission in Turkmenistan.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 7
...whose dictator changed the words for bread and Friday to his dog's name.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 8
...which is why we're paying Gorbanguly to hinder construction.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 9
I want it officially on record that I am strongly opposed to this mission.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 10
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 11
I am not, ever, sucking your taint.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 12
You can't tourniquet the taint.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 13
[SCREAMING]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 14
What? No, alcohol's a vasodilator.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 15
Here, you baby.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 16
Ray. Damn it, on bionic legs.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 17
[GRUNTING]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 18
If there's any bullets left after I murder both of you.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 19
Then eating a piece...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 20
Yes, I do, and I just did, so come on, I need you in the control room.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 21
I thought I heard self-righteous clomping. Can I help you?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 22
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 23
Just because Lana makes you feel insecure in your masculinity--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 24
No shit, I was bawling my eyes out.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 25
At least you get to bang her.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 26
Well, wait, hang on. Because unless I'm hallucinating...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 27
Okay. Later, gator.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 28
Mr. Archer, I'm afraid I must ask you to cease your insufferable tooting.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 29
Oh, I'm sorry, nor is this heaven.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 30
Would you like to know who Sterling Archer really is?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 31
But there's no way you ever will because you're counting the days...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 32
"because you know this terrible place is the only true love you will ever know.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 33
GILLETTE: Maybe that's his Lorne Greene.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 34
Visiting Baltimore for the weekend...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 35
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 36
Look, seriously-- Whoo!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 37
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING OFF-KEY]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 38
...have profoundly influenced your life'?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 39
Come on, you're all over the road here.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 40
Sounds like a plan, James Mason.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 41
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 42
Well? What did he say?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 43
Oh, God.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 44
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 45
Baksheesh, exactly, but our friend--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 46
What? No, no, no. I mean "yok, yok."
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 47
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 48
How's it the same word for bread and snake and Friday and that damn dog?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 49
Yeah.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 50
Aired 11 years ago - Feb 14, 2013

Archer's former fiancée calls on him to rescue her cyborg boyfriend from outer space, but he has other things on his mind.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 1
I think she means she'll shove it up your --
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 2
you drank it and then puked it into my trash can!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 3
Remember the ground rules for this?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 4
Ass.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 5
The puppy drowned too.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 6
No, I'm serious, with the cancer, and my possible father dying, and um...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 7
Oh. Duh.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 8
- First of all, Cyril -- - Cheated on you as much as I did, Lana,
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 9
I'm doing this new thing, where now it just rings, drives people crazy.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 10
Your apartment's one level, how do you have a dumbwaiter?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 11
Okay, Lana, check you later.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 12
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 13
Hey, asshole!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 14
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 15
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 16
And I'm sorry if you misunderstood.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 17
Well, I hope she makes you happy.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 18
And only one week after, well, you know, when I left you for him,
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 19
He is on space station?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 20
Buddy, you just sold a timeshare!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 21
If you ever truly loved me, you will help Barry to come home to me.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 22
When Barry gets back she'll realize what a dick he is,
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 23
This is Opposite World!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 24
Walk in on you while you're helping Barry build a rocket!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 25
My penis can only get so erect.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 26
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 27
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 28
Lana, I said no!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 29
- Um, okay, now I just need to find - Cheryl!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 30
I just wanna help you finish your new spaceship, why is that weird?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 31
God, that is just classic Archer!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 32
Not deliberately hurtful!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 33
Oh... different ways.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 34
Oh my God, that phony prospectus must've worked!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 35
Wait, how'd we get to another woman?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 36
Because I will kill him with my bare hands!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 37
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 38
Wait, what hap -- goddammit!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 39
You were the -- holy shit, there really are nerve gas canisters up here!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 40
It's not a frickin tractor!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 41
What's a female... whatever look like?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 42
- A situation, by the way, for which-- I heard you!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 43
Wow, this might actually work.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 44
...have a dart in your neck.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 45
Will you focus?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 46
Pam you better not be making pornos!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 47
Now, the audio's a little rough, ya know, it's from outer space, but --
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 48
Yeah so listen, Katya asked me to call you...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 49
All of 'em? All of --
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 50
The only thing that hurts is my heart!
Aired 11 years ago - Feb 07, 2013

The beginning of beautiful hatred between Archer and his new stepfather plays out as the two are chased by gangsters.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 1
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 2
I need you to go down to Western Union and wire me a thousand dollars.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 3
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 4
Okay. Okay, let me talk to Lana.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 5
And it's gonna sound like I'm hanging up, but--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 6
Although not as depressing as Ron. What the hell are you doing here?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 7
But C.H.U.D.'s live in New York, so let's go.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 8
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 9
I meant stop talking about ass-ripping sewer-gators.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 10
I honestly wanna hear your thoughts on getting me across.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 11
...what if they checked you for a gun? You do have a gun, don't you?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 12
Uh-- Never mind, I got it.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 13
[ARCHER COUGHING]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 14
Who hits you? The, uh... Those guys.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 15
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 16
ARCHER: No, no, no, look out, you're--!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 17
Give me a break, huh? That wasn't my fault.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 18
...and the rhinoceros blindly stampedes into a phone booth...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 19
Why is that in the suitcase, Ron?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 20
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 21
Oh, and I'm an idiot.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 22
Maybe between biannual suitcase robberies.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 23
Oh, uh-- Then, yeah, biannually.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 24
Insurance bullshit. Compliments of them democratic queers in Congress.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 25
A small business owner, out here busting his hump to provide for his family.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 26
Ugh. Okay, here's your fur coat from the world's farthest-away cold storage.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 27
I, uh-- Well, yeah, I figured the odds on that were pretty huge.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 28
That was my crew. And, kiddo, we would boost anything on wheels.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 29
So, uh, we revised our business model.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 30
And they all got 20 years, because not one of them...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 31
Plus most of it is from charging poor saps for that freaking undercoating.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 32
Oh, man, wait till the crew hears this.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 33
...on this entire planet of Earth.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 34
That's all behind me. I'm almost completely legit now.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 35
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 36
But my, uh... Stepdad.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 37
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 38
Screw that. Shoot these degenerate pricks.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 39
So it holds a finite number of bullets.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 40
Uh-huh. Then what, they kill me? No. Shut up, that's the awesome part.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 41
Damn it, if only there was a way to slow them down.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 42
Ron, look.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 43
Or he'd release a diss track.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 44
ARCHER: So is this train, asshole!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 45
Okay, now give me your hand. I can't!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 46
No, you hate it that she married anybody, because you want her all to yourself!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 47
ARCHER: You're welcome. Shut up.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 48
Ugh. Okay, try not to ruin it this time.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 49
Why would you wanna teach it to me at all?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 50
I also don't have time to teach you how to speak hobo.
Aired 11 years ago - Jan 31, 2013

Archer's fear of cyborgs hits home when Krieger offers to make robotic legs for Gillette.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 1
I'm talking about bionics! From the Greek for... like... kickass!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 2
KRIEGER: No, you're not. For one thing, Katya wasn't completely dead.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 3
GILLETTE: So, it's gonna look like I'm leaving?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 4
GILLETTE: I'm assuming you mean "give me the ability to have an erection"?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 5
LANA: Pre-approved by whom?! ARCHER: Oh, now you're on my side.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 6
CYRIL: No?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 7
LANA: Asshole! ARCHER, CYRIL: Ew.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 8
KRIEGER: And so, a small power unit goes here, on your uh,
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 9
KRIEGER: Who cares? Zrrp, they're in the dumpster.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 10
Plus when I'm taking out the old bones I take tons of pictures with my phone.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 11
KRIEGER: No, I mean if, God forbid, the worst happens...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 12
GILLETTE: Wait a minute! KRIEGER: Yeah, where's Carol?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 13
LANA: Cyril?! ARCHER: Is it Halloween already?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 14
ARCHER: In Krieger's lab?! CHERYL/CAROL: Anywhere, duh, it's portable.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 15
CHERYL/CAROL: [ Laughs ]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 16
GILLETTE: What could possibly, go, wrrngzzzzzz.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 17
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 18
But he won't be for long if you don't clamp that artery!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 19
RON: That's, yes, exactly, that's why you need a nice long relaxing cruise!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 20
ARCHER: Um, investigating a ballistic anomaly.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 21
ARCHER: Which reminds me, Grover Cleveland called, he wants his watch back.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 22
C'mon, this is awesome, it's like we're the Warren Commission.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 23
ARCHER: "Whom!" LANA: Archer!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 24
I don't think, so he must've meant... well, no, aren't terminators asexual?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 25
Get a hold of yourself! PAM: Sorry.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 26
MALORY: Since when?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 27
RON: Because I spent thirty years building the business so I don't have to be!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 28
MALORY: Ron this isn't a car dealership, it's... RON: The same principle!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 29
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 30
That'll hold way more Hispanics and lawnmowers.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 31
CYRIL: And Archer, obviously... LANA: Would rather see Ray dead!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 32
MALORY: But... what could have caused this?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 33
MALORY: Oh! Well then I'll just get my coat.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 34
LANA: Yeah I know, are you cyborging Ray?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 35
RODNEY: One RPG-7 launcher and two grenades.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 36
LANA: We may have sort of a, uh, situation.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 37
RON: Reminds me of the head mechanic at my dealership in Yonkers.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 38
CYRIL: Well calling the airport's not gonna help.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 39
You were saying? ARCHER: I... shit.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 40
ARCHER: Oh my... I basically just lurch from one fireable offense to the next!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 41
Because I bet it would open the door.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 42
My God, what they did to that pig... BRETT: Heeelp...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 43
ARCHER: Mawp.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 44
CYRIL: Why is your instinctive response to run toward explosions?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 45
CHERYL/CAROL:... permanent damage to my earballs because you're too
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 46
ARCHER: I don't... CHERYL/CAROL: Tease.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 47
ARCHER: That's even creepier. So are you gonna open the damn door?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 48
So now if you'll excuse me... I have an entire human race to save.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 49
So Rodneeeeeey... Tease!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 50
CYRIL: Are you calling the airport again? LANA: Cyril shut your goddamn mouth!
Aired 11 years ago - Jan 24, 2013

Archer and his former best friend are holed up in the Vermont wilderness, fighting hard to come out on top.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 1
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 2
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 3
Nooo!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 4
Hey stupid, here's your fake uranium, click, handcuffs, drops mic on stage.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 5
And when the smoke had cleared, four ODIN agents were dead, and
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 6
That maybe there's a fox in the henhouse?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 7
Lana, he obviously bailed out and -- And then...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 8
Yes, Sterling, I'm -- actually no, I'm not sorry.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 9
the name of an American hero.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 10
Oh, or a credit card!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 11
Dude, what, it was just the tip!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 12
Exactly, because he's a frickin lemur!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 13
Doo doo doo doo dooooo...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 14
Oh, some wacky new thing the kids are doing, called inventory control?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 15
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 16
No I am not.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 17
two each arctic camouflage parka and pant, and, doo doo doo doooo,
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 18
Dude, bros before... apparent threats to national security.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 19
Nice!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 20
The doohickey says he's about thirty minutes away.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 21
Oh. These are all "Strongly Disagree."
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 22
No, seriously, if anybody finds out I helped you I'll be disavowed.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 23
But it has tons of potential.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 24
Seriously?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 25
Come on, we're going on foot, through the woods.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 26
Eight fireplaces, dude, how nuts is that?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 27
- I mean it's all fake, obviously, but... - Exactly!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 28
Hopefully that's just neurological damage from scraping lead paint...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 29
And my situation, is anyone who could hurt me thinks I'm already dead.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 30
Is that a thing?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 31
Because how about a textile?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 32
Why is Lana Kane -- and is that the geeky little accountant dude?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 33
No, Archer, I thought I had-- No, yeah, you did.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 34
had hot dinners, but... There's just something about you.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 35
No, literally.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 36
- You dick... - To fund our life together, dude!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 37
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 38
Well, but you don't.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 39
So why are these damn peer reviews so hard?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 40
What about intentionally shot at?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 41
I'd be -- Luuuuke!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 42
Just your jacket, c'mon, I'm freezing!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 43
Shitass!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 44
Which, ya know, lame.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 45
You left your gun in a pile of clothes!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 46
Unless... Wait, no, get it out of your head.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 47
It's about twenty miles north of Bennington, so I assume it's a B&B.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 48
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 49
Lana?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 50
So as much as I'd like to, I don't think now's an optimal time for that.
Aired 11 years ago - Jan 17, 2013

Archer, I mean Bob, has amnesia and decides the only cure is a spa weekend.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 1
so you better break out the purple stuff.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 2
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 3
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 4
Ostrich. Shut up, they're good.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 5
The KGB hit squad...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 6
He wandered in there in full morning dress 2 months ago, they got married,
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 7
Psychogenic retrograde amnesia.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 8
against a sudden and quite possibly violent confrontation with his mother.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 9
Damn it, Krieger, did you drug me?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 10
Well, some people use baby powder.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 11
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 12
My face isn't a naturally villainous like yours, so...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 13
Ugh, now damsel up and get over there.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 14
Uh, or an ostrich.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 15
Don't even think about screwing up our plan to cure Sterling's amnesia.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 16
Yes. No.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 17
It's dangerous, and you're married.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 18
From the Shazam/Isis Hour TV show?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 19
And KGB agents are trying to kill me.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 20
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 21
danger zo - oh my God!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 22
GILLETTE: How bout a bullet?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 23
LANA: Uh, well -- KRIEGER: Remember, ease him into it!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 24
Oh, and plus I'm a total badass at hand-to-hand combat?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 25
Hiiiiii -- ARCHER: Ya.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 26
Specifically these two.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 27
Alright you two, you're on.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 28
PAM: The hatred.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 29
LANA: That was weird, and also not a real kiss, and also never happening again.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 30
Alter-ego of She-Hulk, what.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 31
very slowly and -- KGB AGENT: Drup your weapons!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 32
ARCHER: How do you not remember that show?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 33
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 34
LANA: Oh for -- if I'm KGB why is the KGB shooting at me?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 35
MALORY: Well, you're in charge here.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 36
And speaking of drinks... LANA: These aren't to drink, dumbass!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 37
CYRIL: Burn... Inappropriate, suppressing fiiiiiire!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 38
ARCHER: Oh. Duh.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 39
KGB AGENT: Zahodi s boku!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 40
ARCHER: Well however you pronounce it!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 41
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 42
PAM: You hypocrite cooze, I just watched you eat a whole bag of
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 43
JULIO: Multinational Hotels Incorporated?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 44
Throwing bottle bombs, your tits flopping around...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 45
ARCHER: You're my wife! Linda!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 46
ARCHER: Yes, down to the store for cheese!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 47
Wait, are you... you?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 48
KGB armed with a frickin cap gun!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 49
I'll make you wish they never scraped you out of Hitler's drawers.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 50
Oh my God, it's all coming back to me now...