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Archer (2009)

S3 E1
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Season 3  "The Man From Jupiter"  3x1

Aired 12 years ago - Jan 19, 2012

Archer is shocked to learn that his mother is dating Archer's idol/hero/man-crush, Burt Reynolds.

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Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 1
MALORY: Oh please!
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 2
I mean obviously sex was implied, but-- ARCHER: Ugh!
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 3
Mainly because you've got bigger things to worry about.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 4
There's a -- ARCHER: Ha! Voicemail.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 5
MALLORY: Sterling it's -- ARCHER: Elaborate voicemail hoax.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 6
MALORY: Burt dear, what a lovely surprise!
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 7
How totally hot is he?!
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 8
Burt Reynolds is taking me to a movie premiere tonight, so -- help me God,
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 9
CYRIL: Archer, hey, about this expense report-- ARCHER: Not now, Cyril!
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 10
LANA: Because of the Cubans?
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 11
LANA: Bullying Cyril isn't gonna make Burt Reynolds stop shtupping your mom.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 12
LANA: I'm sorry, your words made sense, but your sarcastic tone did not.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 13
is literally on fire, none of you are to call me.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 14
"Dear Malory, it's been --"
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 15
LANA: Wait a -- who calls it Tinseltown?
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 16
CHERYL/CAROL: Archer?
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 17
BURT REYNOLDS: Well, then you should probably just
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 18
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 19
PAM: Why are you torturing her like that?!
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 20
Everybody else, let's go to Archer's.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 21
I already got my tub.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 22
And she's, um... BURT REYNOLDS: Beautiful, smart, funny, successful...
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 23
You're gonna drink your Pimm's Cup... BURT REYNOLDS: Which is exciting!
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 24
broken men shuffle like zombies we see a hospital wristband on
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 25
and there's a spark of recognition in his eyes, cause you know what
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 26
BURT REYNOLDS: And you just got a screenplay credit.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 27
It would be an honor, Mr. Gable!
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 28
I'm gonna give them all an EP credit.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 29
GILLETTE: Interesting.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 30
Ma¡talo!
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 31
LANA: And this conversation isn't over!
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 32
CYRIL: Krieger, go!
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 33
I've seen you drive.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 34
And since we've wasted a shitload of time already, I feel pretty good about
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 35
ARCHER: I know, it drives me nuts.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 36
BURT REYNOLDS: That's ridiculous.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 37
BURT REYNOLDS: And you were gonna pay for it yourself,
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 38
BURT REYNOLDS: I am.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 39
ARCHER: I don't care about them!
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 40
Getting shot at by your damn Cubans!
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 41
BURT REYNOLDS: He was part Indian.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 42
She has hopes, dreams, fears... needs.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 43
And until you -- oops, hang on.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 44
Because my point is... oh wait, wait, you're gonna wanna see this.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 45
My pants are now literally wet.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 46
a lot of her.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 47
LANA: Will you please!
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 48
Now watch what I do right here.
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 49
BURT REYNOLDS: Uh-oh, looks like we're in danger of a
 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 50
ARCHER: You should be, that was totally irresp --

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 2
I mean obviously sex was implied, but-- ARCHER: Ugh!
#2 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 3
Mainly because you've got bigger things to worry about.
#3 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 4
There's a -- ARCHER: Ha! Voicemail.
#4 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 5
MALLORY: Sterling it's -- ARCHER: Elaborate voicemail hoax.
#5 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 6
MALORY: Burt dear, what a lovely surprise!
#6 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 7
How totally hot is he?!
#7 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 8
Burt Reynolds is taking me to a movie premiere tonight, so -- help me God,
#8 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 9
CYRIL: Archer, hey, about this expense report-- ARCHER: Not now, Cyril!
#9 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 10
LANA: Because of the Cubans?
#10 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 11
LANA: Bullying Cyril isn't gonna make Burt Reynolds stop shtupping your mom.
#11 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 12
LANA: I'm sorry, your words made sense, but your sarcastic tone did not.
#12 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 13
is literally on fire, none of you are to call me.
#13 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 14
"Dear Malory, it's been --"
#14 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 15
LANA: Wait a -- who calls it Tinseltown?
#15 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 16
CHERYL/CAROL: Archer?
#16 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 17
BURT REYNOLDS: Well, then you should probably just
#17 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 18 #18 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 19
PAM: Why are you torturing her like that?!
#19 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 20
Everybody else, let's go to Archer's.
#20 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 21
I already got my tub.
#21 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 22
And she's, um... BURT REYNOLDS: Beautiful, smart, funny, successful...
#22 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 23
You're gonna drink your Pimm's Cup... BURT REYNOLDS: Which is exciting!
#23 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 24
broken men shuffle like zombies we see a hospital wristband on
#24 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 25
and there's a spark of recognition in his eyes, cause you know what
#25 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 26
BURT REYNOLDS: And you just got a screenplay credit.
#26 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 27
It would be an honor, Mr. Gable!
#27 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 28
I'm gonna give them all an EP credit.
#28 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 29
GILLETTE: Interesting.
#29 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 30
Ma¡talo!
#30 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 31
LANA: And this conversation isn't over!
#31 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 32
CYRIL: Krieger, go!
#32 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 33
I've seen you drive.
#33 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 34
And since we've wasted a shitload of time already, I feel pretty good about
#34 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 35
ARCHER: I know, it drives me nuts.
#35 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 36
BURT REYNOLDS: That's ridiculous.
#36 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 37
BURT REYNOLDS: And you were gonna pay for it yourself,
#37 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 38
BURT REYNOLDS: I am.
#38 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 39
ARCHER: I don't care about them!
#39 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 40
Getting shot at by your damn Cubans!
#40 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 41
BURT REYNOLDS: He was part Indian.
#41 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 42
She has hopes, dreams, fears... needs.
#42 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 43
And until you -- oops, hang on.
#43 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 44
Because my point is... oh wait, wait, you're gonna wanna see this.
#44 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 45
My pants are now literally wet.
#45 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 46
a lot of her.
#46 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 47
LANA: Will you please!
#47 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 48
Now watch what I do right here.
#48 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 49
BURT REYNOLDS: Uh-oh, looks like we're in danger of a
#49 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 50
ARCHER: You should be, that was totally irresp --
#50