Silicon Valley

Pied Piper’s future is hazy, but Erlich’s industry profile begins to rise, creating a moral dilemma for Richard as Dinesh’s new app starts to catch on. Meanwhile, Laurie makes plans for her exit; and Gavin’s pompous personality haunts his comeback at Hooli.

out of the back of your assholes if you had been there, hand to God.

but he gave me nothing and neither did his friends.

Yes, that. So, while our fortune

I go outside, I walk across the street

Sequoia.

"Coleman Blair Partners would like to offer Pied Piper

upon which I built this motherfucking cathedral

on my rear-view mirror for the parking structure.

Okay.

is if I couldn't find my flash drive.

done by certain regulatory bodies.

Okay, fine. Well, whatever you did

I mean, our... our platform does exactly what we say it does.

And if I do the right thing here,

named Maurice in your sculpture garden and its subsequent

You're the fucking CEO, Richard!

Oh, sure, Richard.

but I'm willing to go up to seven million on 70.

You can if you want, but we still need his signature.

But the... the vid chat...

That's a fucking crime!

No, better yet, you caked my pants.

Point is, don't beat yourself up about not seeing it.

I think you did the right thing.

and, you know, between the fraudulent numbers

Look at this. There are 157 people using it near Gleb.

Well, he was wrong. Over 4,000 times.

Gavin, can we address the elephant in the room?

in the Hendricks coffin.

I know this is the last way that you wanted it to end.

That's ironic, huh?

You know, he said he wants to be able

And as Raviga controls three of the board seats,

Peter Gregory instilled, then I don't think I belong here.

And Evan.

All right?

As in Erlich Bachman and Nelson Bighetti?

I see. No.

This is a business opportunity.

Shocking stats are revealed and prompt Richard to bridge the gap between Pied Piper and its users, but Jared must go to extremes to keep everything intact. Gavin tries to recapture his former glory by bringing in new talent after discovering secrets about the competition.

Erlich?

I'll give you an example. A few months ago,

grants me certain freedoms.

499,996...

Now, Bernice, you say here that you were...

You were all totally freaked out.

and what's great about it. Well, clearly he doesn't get it.

And with all due respect, I gave it to you, the one person without a computing background,

anywhere, because the second you take a photo or a video or compose a text message,

And we all know how electrons exist in orbitals.

Is that like when I'm texting and my phone starts guessing what I'm going to say?

No. Pied Piper will in no way become sentient and try to take over the world.

they get split up into tiny bits and spread across a network of other users' devices?

Yes. Yes, Bernice, that's it!

This data was corrupted the second he walked in that room.

If you build an airplane and people are afraid of anything that flies,

I think we can do this. All we got to do

I guess it's about $697,240. But don't quote me on that.

take the money we have left and pivot to something

and realize you wasted a whole year with nothing to show for it.

really, what other option do we have?

And the only way you're going to get that many users

I'm just going to give them what they want. I'm going to resign.

Like, perhaps, after we experience

but there's something I think you should know about.

- Yeah. - Right this way. - Okay.

But it's time to end the charade.

that their daily active user numbers are abysmal.

Instead, I'm going to let the new head of product

Now, what is Pied Piper? Excellent question.

throughout this seminar saying, Hey, is thing like the Terminator?

- John? - Yo!

WPROMOTE ADVERTISING

Can I help? You know, with Pied Piper's revolutionary

Well, after the booths at CES and South by Southwest,

peer-to-peer content distribution system, consisting of...

Early Bugs Bunny cartoons were just garish displays of anti-Japanese hysteria,

Face it, Jared, being too early is the same as being wrong.

but at least it's something.

It's over, Jared.

Just out here, everyone. Almost there.

- Look at it. - Really? - Look.

Erlich tries to be honest with Richard, who has mixed emotions about their friendship and the future of Pied Piper. Jared's new company apparel turns heads but fuels yet another clash between Dinesh and Gilfoyle.

They don't really do that.

we got a suite at the Fairmont, and they're sending a car.

and, uh, one word... frittata.

I don't mean in the house. I mean, like, in the world.

would take up too much space."

I sense you're doing something ironic with it,

As the fable teaches us,

Two weeks ago, on the heels of powering down

In any case, I have it on good authority

one with less oversight of day-to-day operations.

I am. I do have one question for you guys.

I saw a piece of paper on her desk.

That is not happening, okay? Nothing is going on here.

that you look like a douchebag.

Oh, he plays coy.

Hey, man, did you remember to put money in the meter?

You heard him. You're being a dick.

Oh, really? What exactly did he say?

that both you and I know is true. You dumped your stock.

Um, can we take a soft five?

- Yeah, but it was a great party. - No one forced you to do that.

if they think something funky is going on with our stock?

Richard, there's a three to four percent chance

- Jack Barker. - Nice plane.

I could tell you some war stories.

Fantastic. I tell you, when we get up to altitude

Then again, you're basically lighting Erlich on fire.

but if I hear wind of these rumors

I'm replacing you on the board,

Which is one who eats solely fish who eat other fish.

Oh, Donald, you've come undone.

ruin the whole thing, but they're telling me it's booked.

and I actually thought about having you killed.

Does he have a tub in that room?

I've heard it from three different people now. You need to call me.

they transferred to me when I bought him out.

Jesus. So, he walked away with nothing.

- Who did they talk to? - Erlich.

You certainly know how to make an impact.

And that could be useful...

Well, no. No. Not exactly the way they were.

A beta version of Pied Piper gets an unexpected reception as Dinesh's lack of friends worries him, but Gilfoyle thinks he's stretching the truth. Amanda isn't sure she can dole out criticism. A strapped Erlich mulls a big decision. The Nucleus team tackles a difficult challenge from Gavin.

Hey, good news. They said we can each keep

Hm, we only get ten each. This could be prickly.

Gilfoyle, if you're not gonna use your ten invites,

Monica, hello.

Dinesh has decided to give you one of his codes, so...

Now, that's the bad news.

Even in Taxo-Alto, which I coined, would be half that.

on the way back to the rental house?

So you are going to go in your little fucking piggy bank

Wait.

Shit. They're already in beta?

An employee's withholding critical information about a competitor.

I will figure out a way, sir.

Oh, Kevin, this is Dinesh, one of my coworkers.

He also said there was a bug on the landing page.

our beta was the best beta he's ever seen.

I mean, just trying to make sense of all the feedback.

I mean, I... I... I have an inbox full of raves here for the...

Yeah. Lame.

was lying to us and funneling our money to said other clients,

Mr. Bachmann,

A tasteful Polynesian affair, culturally accurate,

Have either of you been on a jury?

I know exactly where it is. It's in the bay.

I'm just calling everybody that was on the beta and saying hi

I mean, my boys could be anywhere. I don't keep track of my boys.

Dinesh's, for example...

Well, people do create imaginary friends to meet their emotional needs.

I found a friend of his that lived near Palo Alto,

Their sign-up flow, their mobile app, it's just seamless.

Yeah. On it. Sorry, Dinesh.

That's gotta be some kind of machine learning optimization.

In case you didn't know, here at Hooli,

Wait, so she lied? Why would she lie about using the beta?

- I feel very sad. - Fucking Gilfoyle.

I invited you to my wedding, Gavin.

whose chief focus is chronicling our demise.

- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.

- Fine. I don't like it. - Really?

Okay. Well, that might make sense because, um, I'm an engineer.

- I passed on Slack. - Really?

there's always gonna be someone who doesn't get it.

Don't invest in products; invest in people.

Pats on the back. Pats on the back.

I have a business proposition I'd like to discuss with you.

Richard’s new relationship is threatened by neuroses. Big Head and Erlich’s launch party has snags. Dinesh falls for a foreign coworker.

Speaking of seeing, I will see...

And... we're going for drinks later, so...

Oh, "Gavin Belson's Hooli-Scrub Scandal."

Of course they have. And for the better.

by a nondisclosure agreement. Let's sue that person.

All right, forget it. You people are useless.

Most people who rent Alcatraz for parties tend to go with the prison theme.

I'm inviting every asshole from the Valley to attend.

I think we may have a problem.

All two million. I mean, 20 million.

So if I told you about the NDA, it would've been a violation of the NDA.

Mainland.

Only if you stop first.

You don't know how attractive she is.

Baller, you got lucky on the first date.

- It is an honor to meet you. - Okay.

We're already on to Elizabethan nicknames. This is serious.

Hey, Jared. If you fuck any pretty birdies in my server room,

Well I'm a bartender, I wouldn't understand all the science-y talk, right?

Although, if you did, going to jail for protecting your source

to buy you some?

I think he believes that people who use spaces are less than.

Yeah, it just felt like it was way too far from the house, like, crazy far.

Here are the three things you need to do, all right?

Oh, it's Erlich, I should probably grab this.

Okay, cool.

What? Me? Nazi?

I mean, that's pretty insensitive to the Holocaust, don't you think?

I figured out a way to use our compression for RTC, so...

Hey...

I mean, things were just going so well, until she...

You fucked her in the garage?

Who was that gorgeous gazelle in the driveway?

Don't worry, it will be unrecognizable.

You can do anything you put your mind to, Richard.

My roommate's going out of town tomorrow,

Richard, what's wrong?

precision.

Because it could look different on other people's computers.

I mean like, what, we're going to bring kids into this world

One tab saves you eight spaces!

Yes! The Denzel who is from Pakistan.

This is because he's now just husband.

or... you're the dogface.

BACHMANITY INSANITY!

You must taste the breaded humuhumunukunukuapua'a,

Richard lets his ego get in the way at an interview. Dinesh, Gilfoyle and Jared misplace hardware. Erlich pitches his plans to Big Head.

Then we will be back on track.

No. Uh, not... Now. Sorry, it's got to be now.

There's actually... It's more about you guys becoming former employees.

I'm CTO. I'm the highest ranking officer, so yes answer.

I haven't read this article. Okay, maybe I'm too busy

- Oh, I have a fruit guy. - Fantastic.

And besides, like you, I'm giving up everything else I have of value...

Oh, here. Get this down.

And, she's slandering my tech.

You can meet with everyone in Palo Alto to replace me as CEO.

And you will need to sit down with our head of PR beforehand to go over talking points.

I did blow all these hard drives clean.

Oh, uh, word to the wise:

Okay. Marion was in the wicker basket,

Oh, yeah.

Big Head, I would hope that a handshake deal would be good enough for you.

If I'm being honest, like a ventriloquist dummy.

I just got a call from Laurie Bream's office, at Raviga,

What the fuck is going on?

I'm not a fucking idiot.

how fucked up it is that, um, Laurie Bream fired me,

I do actually, he's a close friend of mine, been that way for years.

Monica, my mission here is not merely to have fun.

But if that's true, then why are you meeting with so many other CEO candidates?

This is very exciting for Richard.

Oh, that's weird. I saw him earlier.

Richard. Richard Hendricks?

Please tell me that went well.

I said those were all the things I can't say, okay.

and give me an exclusive from jail. Yeah.

Have you ever seen a naked dead person?

You didn't happen to wipe that one clean, too, did you?

Don't worry, Dinesh, we'll find it.

and I fucked it up.

you've officially righted your wrong.

That's what you're going to call your company?

Well, I mean, hopefully. But still...

Whoa, weird. Every single one of my signatures looks totally different.

all negative mentions of Nucleus off of Hooli Search.

How about we just stick with Gavin?

I'm a nerd.

Rise up... for you the flag is flung... for you the bugle trills."

The Pied Piper guys struggle to phone it in. Erlich faces competition. Monica takes a stand. Gavin makes a decision about Nucleus.

Oh, uh, while I have you, there were fresh droppings near my cot.

Fuck this. I've been writing quick, bullshit subpar code

- What... - My name is Dang.

If the box were an animal, what sort of animal would it be?

So, look, here. This is a black rectangle.

A shuttle?

No wonder our modules aren't running at the same speed.

Right? Slow my preprocessor way down.

directly to the compressor seed functions.

You drew a rectangle and said if it was an animal, it'd be a box turtle.

You should go do it, you know. Go and make the damn thing.

Ah! Jared, Jesus fuck! What are you doing?

- When's he moving in? - Wouldn't we all like to know.

Because I want to send them a fucking nice gift.

What do you mean? This is my house.

but I thought that discussing it with you might be awkward.

from Richard Hendricks and Pied Piper, armed with a powerful new CEO,

Clearly, we have come far, but we still have far to go.

Richard, just save it.

Yeah, I know. I know. I know, Richard, we had an arrangement,

Poaching my tenants? You stole my business model.

You just admitted to starting a competing incubator.

So what do you say we join forces?

Riddled with sinusitis, crippled by joint pain.

Is it any wonder the result was just as unspeakable as that thing?

Our only mistake was looking inward.

- Correct. - And he didn't even realize it?

Now, if you'll excuse me, on to Pied Piper.

Actually, I'm sorry. I have an issue with, uh,

We're not going to be able to do that.

For five years. They wanted seven, I talked them down.

If one goes strictly by the numbers, these numbers,

to vote for the box. On the page,

I wasn't carbon copied on this particular email,

And I don't have any metrics to back it up,

And if I could get a, uh, an email, be CC'd on the latest draft...

Um, it didn't work, the lion, uh, tore into the bison

- What news? - Mm.

It's the whole ad kind.

What did he say?

Gavin, in trying to fuck us, just saved our asses.

is objectively worth 250 million dollars.

when we come in there and gut him like a--

Richard searches for a way around Jack. Gilfoyle opens himself up to recruiters. Dinesh draws unwanted attention from a recent purchase.

Take a look at the Conjoined Triangles of Success.

We'll think about then then.

to "Looking for work."

'cause if you quit now,

More recruiter swag?

Hey, can I borrow this? Just for a little bit?

And you are too legit to quit,

Hey, when you push a man so far,

You know, when you and the boys picked up and went to the new offices,

and he's standing here, looking you in the face,

Actually, yes, that was painfully difficult.

Ah yes, to the matter at hand.

So, before you waste time

Two, you get Laurie Bream on the phone ASAP.

harvested, apparently, from dead people in India.

And it goes without saying, I was never here.

Guys. Guys, it's happening. It's happening.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Like a nine, nine and a half.

that the whole box project here at Pied Piper was...

- Laurie Bream is the investor. - Yeah.

Okay, but...

Twelve weeks from today, we're going to present her a prototype of that box.

They told me not to give it to you until after the meeting.

looks like leadership.

Jeez, Monica, he's not that bad.

Good to see you again, buddy. Why don't you have a seat?

At least we'll make a little money doing it.

I'm sorry to say it, but Gilfoyle's right.

Look, how are we going to save the platform?

we've come to know as these United States of America,

let's build this country the way we motherfucking want to."

And Laurie wants the platform, anyway, so...

I'm saying not only are we going to have to engineer,

Okay, Jared, settle down.

When we started moving out of the house, I dismantled Anton.

Sneaking all of him out would be too difficult.

We have a manpower problem.

So... all that and you're in?

Hello, this is Bertram Gilfoyle.

And I'm in to the idea of taking

- What? - Meinertzhagen's haversack.

We have to keep complaining about Barker.

The new and improved Pied Piper impresses Dinesh and Gilfoyle, but worries Richard; Jared and Erlich both face housing issues; Gavin suggests a controversial move.

Hey, step into my office, Richard.

then the faster we can get whatever is in your head out into the world.

And do you know the name of that company?

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

Hey, Jared, how about you? You need any new gear for the office?

Oh. Congratulations.

- No. - Why would we want that?

Why are we allowing our own technology

Of course not. That would be unethical.

(whistling)

so I'm gonna have to stay a little while.

Okay, look, I can give you a few days,

has almost unlimited rights.

Hey, you ready to go to work?

- Makes sense. - Ah, two of my incubees

They are the most expensive unpasteurized variety,

Let him know that the time has... come.

These people are not in the engineering gene pool.

Sales and engineering are the two pillars

to think that we have the potential

- Yeah, we're business-facing. - Okay, just wanted to clarify.

because the plan has always been...

when he gets back from wherever...

Ah, they filled you in. That's good.

I was there.

I gotta listen to that, okay?

I realize this is a Japanese tradition and that you are Chinese.

No.

All the way to the waist.

Hi, my name's Erlich Bachman.

And in reality, you're just a minority.

and Nucleus shit the bed, remember?

♪ ♪

and the edges of things are starting to get a little dancey.

He's in the garage, like a sad bag of potting soil.

Do you understand that?

That would be a huge jump in speed.

increasing our already superior speed and efficiency.

I know your name, okay? I know everybody's name.

about a rack-mounted server-type appliance?

Jack, excuse me. Do you mind telling me...

and Jan the Man...

that it would be okay for them to sell the harder stuff?

people who have nothing could suddenly have access to everything.

Richard, I don't think you understand what the product is.

After being unceremoniously fired, an angry Richard faces a tough decision: accept the diminished role of CTO, or leave Pied Piper for good. Erlich takes a shine to Jack Barker, Laurie’s new choice of CEO, while Dinesh and Gilfoyle weigh their options in Richard’s absence. At Hooli, Gavin tries to improve his image by admitting failure, and Big Head gets wind of major changes. MORE -LESS

- But you went on anyway to do something crazy?

- And so it will be easier to get a new CEO in place.

I understand that you are angry. There are also emotional for me,

Well then ... Let's go, Ron.

Mr. Hendricks? What happened to "Richie?"

The real Judas had the courage to take killed himself after the betrayal of Jesus.

- Laurie has found a new CEO. - What? Already?

- That's right. - He ran Enter Cross Systems.

- How is it going? - His mother is certainly dead.

- So it's over if I stop? - No, I mean ...

Excuse me, Monica, but looking uniforms the Catholic schools like online?

It's hard to say goodbye, especially when I do it myself.

We want to say much shit about him. We must begin with the kind of talk?

Okay. Rigby, but he believes that we ends with him. It is arrogant.

Damn him! Rigby.

You are prom queens

What should you do?

Pleasantly. I'm a fan.

No. None of that, Mr. Bachman. I am a fan of you.

Hoolis share rose 7% today when Gavin Belson scraps Nucleus.

Damn! I was afraid of it.

- Showed substandard work in 20% of cases.

When you are tagged I get it too.

With his boss knowledge and your talent, we can get a D-word.

Sorry, I'm just so proud!

I was really mean to him, but he shrugged not even know.

- But ... - It will not we.

Could you develop my library without my input?

Tell Barker to go to hell so that I can go to Flutterbeam-

Yes. We've been together a lot of money and is growing fast as hell.

- Sit down here. - Okay ...

- Is this the daring? - No, we're not done yet.

- Alex Trebek, Hitler. - Not Hitler.

When you are tagged I get it too.

Are you a lawyer?

- Reported to have given me the a police horse with a shovel.

Enough about me. Now we take a look at the contract.

- Did Richard all this yourself? - I thought it was you.

It is not limited to humans. They may also adorn pets.

I want to ask you something. Why are you leaving Pied Piper?

Swallow your pride. Otherwise you soon eat anything about is worse than shit.

There will be a total of 780 000 share units. The money can be distributed to others.

You can not say anything negative media, public-

No. Officially, you no longer some friends here.