In the high-tech gold rush of modern Silicon Valley, the people most qualified to succeed are the least capable of handling success. Partially inspired by Mike Judge’s own experiences as a Silicon Valley engineer in the late ‘80s, Silicon Valley is an American sitcom that centers around six programmers who are living together and trying to make it big in the Silicon Valley.
Aired 5 years ago - Jun 01, 2014
Poised to compete at TechCrunch Disrupt, the guys of Pied Piper become worried after an impressive presentation by Gavin Belson. As Jared tries to pivot the company, Richard is inspired to make big changes at the last minute.
We are breathing rare air here, operating
at the limit for lossless compression
I mean, at best, we're a
worse version of Nucleus.
act erratically, and blindly
lash out at everything around us.
and then they pivoted to become a
playground for the sexually monstrous.
We've got a great logo,
and we've got a great name.
Hi! I'd like to talk to you about
a company called Pied Piper.
Which one? Which one? Which one?
Yeah. It'd be a real dickhead move
to bail on Richard now, right?
What if there was an app called
Pied Piper that could tell you,
Gavin, you do not need to dignify
any of this with a response!
This and all other Gavin Belson
rumors are unsubstantiated.
Yes, let's all keep moving.
Let's move on from this.
We both say it out loud
and I think that fact,
So... do you guys think you could hire me?
- Hey... suitcase. Yeah.
because I thought you had a really great company.
I guess... I guess we
won't see each other again.
- Uh... bye. OK.
Look, Erlich, I want to present,
I do, it's just... I don't know.
because I was too busy getting my face
So that's 400 times whatever
the mean jerk-time is.
- From the middle out. That does make sense.
You know, if a guy's dick was long enough,
So when you stroke up you're
not wasting any energy.
- The finals are starting.
Uh, technically, no.
Richard? Is this the right build?
I can't find the mobile suite here.
- Pied Piper. You're on.
- This is it!
Presenting for Pied Piper
will be Richard Hendricks.
No. All The Carver's work is gone.
and another guy that has disappeared...
Uh, OK, so anyway, we all
know that the most obvious way
And for decades, we used
these codes to compress,
could one guy manipulate at once and, uh...
and when I did, we hit
a Weissman score of 3.8.
Well, I'm sorry to interrupt your
eloquent presentation, Richard.
- What do we got?
- Does anyone have anything?
- Are you fucking kidding me?
Come on, come on, come on...
OK, I mean it shouldn't take too long,
it only compressed half the fucking file.
Wait a second. What's happening?
but with a confirmed score of 5.2,
Pied Piper appears to have just doubled
I told you we'd do it! Come on!
Aired 5 years ago - May 18, 2014
At TechCrunch Disrupt, Richard feels the pressure to finish his demo, but finds himself distracted by a girl he dated briefly, who’s now spreading rumors about him. Jared worries that Monica is taking his place in the company. Dinesh develops a
crush on a girl at a neighboring booth. Erlich’s scandalous past connection to one of the judges threatens Pied Piper’s chances.
If i did, i sure as hell
wouldn't tell you.
Anyway, when the driver
That's the look you give me
when you're gonna do something
Anyways, i just showed up
at, uh, this police department.
She can't come out right now.
Probably don't get out
of the valley often.
No, i, uh, think he had
several calls to make.
I'm saying call Billy
and Stubeck on this one.
hate when i miss.
"It's my birthday,
Carla, pop the trunk.
There was a problem
with that guy.
at least not on company time.
You stole this,
Come on. It's, like,
the worst karma ever.
But i am still your captain,
Now, i wouldn't be breaking
So i'm about a year
out of college, right?
Mind you now,
this israeli guy
So leave a message
at the beep.
- She's still moving.
If you don't believe me,
rent the movie.
Hit your head or anything?
although, come on,
I hate them.
will go undercover
Aired 5 years ago - May 11, 2014
Richard feels threatened when the team hires The Carver a hacker with a notorious reputation, to help with Pied Piper’s cloud. Jared finds himself taken for a ride when he seeks out Peter Gregory’s signature. Erlich and Dinesh compete for the attention of Tara, Gilfoyles visiting girlfriend. Later, Dinesh faces a sexual dilemma.
- That's accurate.
- Wait, are you Richard?
Mmm. You think you can do
our whole job in two days?
that Gavin Belson and Peter Gregory
were fighting over Gittawonk.
- [whispering] Well done.
- [whispering] Yeah.
What does that mean? All
tatted-up and nowhere to go.
[chuckles] OK, Richard, I just
need you to approve Kevin's fee.
I'm not talking about a threesome.
[computer voice] Route guidance
calibrated. Distance to destination:
other than him and that
someone is you, Dinesh?
Wait, you just built all
the indexes on the fly?
Stop looking at my lips.
One of our assistants has
been confusing the eastern,
Arallon is an island, so how are we...?
OK, Donald, stay calm.
of his guardian beasts.
That's ridiculous. I'm way
more attractive than you are.
Fine, just, you know,
You look nothing like him.
but darned if that chicken isn't good.
Working at BofA? I thought you hacked in.
I just told you. Now I
could get in trouble.
What the fuck?
and you just, you pressured
me into hiring him...
OK, and with this one
here, did you delete it
It's really bright in here.
OK, I'm gonna...
I'll kill your mother!
I'll rape your father!
So I feel it may be
foolish to turn this down.
Don't call me ador...
It's very emasculating.
Aired 5 years ago - May 04, 2014
Erlich taps a graffiti artist to design Pied Piper's logo, with predictably controversial results. Meanwhile, Richard learns he doesn't have much time to prepare for a live demonstration at TechCrunch Disrupt; Gavin Belson and Peter Gregory have an unexpected encounter; and Jared works on the company's efficiency.
Jesus fucking Christ.
but for some weird reason,
Chuy took a look at you
"Called me a Mexican"?
You're doing it again.
Pied Piper just got into this
year's Start-Up Battlefield?
or we're not going to...
in the room with you.
I know a lot of big players
have come out of it,
- It appears we've lost him.
Uh... I think you forgot
to update your software.
OK, let's start the meeting.
It's sort of for management only.
This is a company,
Just think of it as a
No, no. They teach
fucking jazz at Juilliard.
I... I can't argue with this.
Twitter: lowercase "t".
Google: lowercase "g".
I mean... God.
And you, as well.
Well... I hear that's good.
I saw that Pied Piper
This is displeasing.
in front of the world in eight weeks.
Doesn't Peter Gregory want
what's best for the company?
Uh, well, then why did he back us?
between two billionaires.
I turned it down because of you!
- Ashley's getting big!
there's a lot right with it.
Uh, you know, our prize coder,
as an Aztec warrior
just doesn't make sense.
This is exactly why we need to have
clearer lines of communication.
I have a fifteen-minute refractory period.
- Yes, scrum.
I'm adding under this epic
for the ingestion engine.
and we'll see who's right?
Whoa... Just trust in the system.
- I'm good.
- Fuck off, we're working.
Look, what you do inside the
house is your own business...
No, no, no. No, no, no! Close it!
OK. So I keep the mural,
and I keep the ten G's.
So... I'm trying to be
vulnerable in front of you.
And plus, I think I know what kind
of logo you white boys might like.
I'm pretty happy with ourself.
All right? And I would like to
say I was just doing my job,
Aired 5 years ago - Apr 27, 2014
At Peter's toga party, Richard drunkenly promises to make Erlich a board member, which he regrets the next morning. After being unassigned at Hooli, Big Head finds others like him who have made careers out of doing nothing. Richard struggles to put
Pied Piper's vision into words for a presentation without Erlich; later, he discovers an interesting connection between Peter and Gavin Belson.
Please tell me that you got him.
Why, what do you guys use?
He's a consummate pro.
Mr. and Mrs. Hanson...
And I'm guessing
you're Mr. Hanson?
Oh, this is right
where I bring his food.
I think cops
have serious problems.
What are we doing out here?
I'm here with
officer Joe Stubeck.
Yeah, you are.
Carla, let's end this.
a piece of work, isn't he?
- I was just making small talk.
- Got it.
You have no idea at all?
Trust me, it's usually
not this exciting.
in, like, 20 minutes.
Mr. Trager, wait!
Good grades, good parents,
no creepy uncles or--
my father never showed up
Here. Just lean back, lean back.
I got you.
she had it coming, though.
and my wife is pregnant again.
She came at me really hard.
Am I still gonna be able to work?
So, you're still gonna visit me on set?
Why, you want one too?
- I got this.
- All right, why don't you go to that parent-teacher conference?
Aired 5 years ago - Apr 20, 2014
While Gavin Belson begins to hype Nucleus, a competing compression platform, Richard learns that the name Pied Piper is already registered to a sprinkler company, forcing him to negotiate. Meanwhile, Erlich goes on a vision quest for a new company name, and Peter Gregory proves elusive when one of his companies asks for money.
It has to be something primal, something
that you can scream out during intercourse.
No, it's just, everyone was
doing it, I was just chiming in.
Uh, the Pied Piper name and trademark are
registered to a sprinkler company in Gilroy.
We were supposed to meet 40 minutes
ago with the guys from Astraphile
And while I know their market
cap is seven billion dollars-plus,
They have other things. Chicken, fish.
because of your visa?
Do you mind just sending them the
form so they know you're here legally?
It's for compression.
putting pieces of shit like that all
over the good farmland around here.
Just like my boy.
Now we're Pied Piper. So, later.
Cowards. My last company was genius.
Well, yeah. But this is for your phone.
This seed... Atop the breading.
He hit TechCrunch, Recode, and PandoDaily.
Cut the shit.
You played me.
- Fucking billionaires.
- Arnold? Arnold, hello?
I did just walk into this country.
- I don't know who that is.
- Neither do I.
that I wasn't a founder
of this company and now
Dude! Dude, hey. I owe
you a big apology, man.
- So I'm funded!
because I'm broke, and
I need money for food.
and this would be like a smaller
version of the word "smaller".
No, I just saw him in his room, wishing
he had taken the ten million dollars.
and we will be ruined because
I have no idea what I'm doing.
Ok, let me get this straight, you
would rather do nothing than something?
I'm gonna come back with a name so amazing
that Peter Gregory will write us ten checks.
And who's hiding drugs? Shocker,
it's the illegal immigrant.
Dude, that was fucking
badass. What did he say?
and I will be reaching Sonora
and nirvana in approximately...
- Should I call 911?
- No, that's a pussy move.
Integrating open data spaces.
This is a billion dollar company?
Look, that's not the deal.
Five hundred! That's
the deal. Five hundred.
business facing cloud...
Mr. Gregory, we need an
answer and we need it now!
that provide the world's sesame seeds
have such large cicada population, no?
Unlike Myanmar and Brazil,
Indonesia has no cicada population.
Unless you need more?
Aired 5 years ago - Apr 13, 2014
After a celebratory party at the Hacker Hostel, Richard and Erlich learn that Peter Gregory won't pay up until they deliver a viable business plan that includes a slimmed-down staff. A desperate Richard hires former Belson underling Jared, and they
set about trying to trim the fat. While Gilfoyle and Dinesh prove essential, Big Head's place in the company is less certain.
Barking up the wrong tree here.
Ok. There's the butt time.
The idea that I have a
boner and you have a boner
- A woman that was a man?
Richie, pay the lady.
Thanks for coming in, guys.
Yes. Who's "we"?
yet you're giving this man...
we would just be coming by
and saying "hi", you know,
- You bought the algorithm, which...
Well, thanks for coming in, guys.
And neither did he. And he was kind
of being an asshole back there.
asshole vacuum and that void is
filled by other assholes, like Jared.
You're being a complete tool right now.
are to implement profound
changes in existing venture."
What? Why? Why is he here?
Peter Gregory said
specifically to trim the fat.
Yeah. You don't have to
ask permission to do that.
Of course. Incredible.
We know it's kind of a little weird.
I was gaining root access to NSA servers.
Every dipshit who shits
his pants if he can't get
I just wanna say that I feel
Period. End of sentence. So basically,
I think whatever equity I get,
I guess... pretty good at code,
develop algorithms... So forth.
Hey, what do you guys think about
this Jared? He's shit, right?
Him getting points would be a
big "fuck you" to all of us.
- He's my best friend.
- That's true.
But by his own admission, he's
really more like a master of none.
All I could think was,
"He's utterly useless."
That was nice, guys. He heard everything.
I mean, Mass Effect 3? Harsh.
Are you trying to say that
Big Head might be dead?
but I could use your input on a
few things for the business plan.
Maybe he's demoing it for someone.
Hi, I'm Richard Hendricks. You did
a dance... The dancing at my house.
I mean, what would've I have even done
if I didn't have Mochacino's card?
She said it was sexist. She's
right. It's actually perverted.
I'm going to go get the
stuff out of my cube at Hooli
- The train is this way... I just...
- Oh. I was gonna say.
So do I include him in the cap table
or not? It's basically good to go.
Ok? This is my company. It was
my idea and we do what I say.
if you run into Gavin ever you have to
act really upset about it, you know?
Ok? I get all of it!
- Hi. Deposit?
Aired 5 years ago - Apr 06, 2014
Attending an elaborate launch party, Richard and his computer programmer friends - Big Head, Dinesh and Gilfoyle - dream of making it big. Instead, they're living in the communal Hacker Hostel owned by former programmer Erlich, who gets to claim ten
percent of anything they invent there. When it becomes clear that Richard has developed a powerful compression algorithm for his website, Pied Piper, he finds himself courted by Gavin Belson, his egomaniacal corporate boss, who offers a $10 million buyout by his firm, Hooli. But Richard holds back when well-known investor Peter Gregory makes a counteroffer.
a "relationship that has
the potential to become
they wouldn't be able to figure
out how to. It's incomprehensible.
Everybody involved in the music industry
When I sold my company, Aviato,
- You know that? You did.
- Well, technically...
transforming the world as we know it.
Look at this place, it's a shithole.
You mean buying that island in the Pacific?
with top pay and vested stock options.
- Uh, really?
and the middle class
The true value of snake-oil
is intangible as well.
Don't! Do not do that.
So, imagine you were a song writer, ok?
Look, why don't you send me a link to
your project and we'll take a look.
1.2 megabytes? No way.
All these guys are like that,
they're all about consumer facing.
Oh, I see, you know what you should do?
it's ones and zeros instead of the letters.
This is Silicon Valley, all right, not...
Uh. Hi, this is Jared
Dunn calling from Hooli.
You said it was a shitty idea.
Well, it's like Gavin always says,
"it takes change to make change."
I heard Richard Hendricks was here.
and then an East Indian guy.
This is Richard.
I'm actually outside of Gavin Belson's
office right now, Mr. Gregory.
but part of it is his personal commitment
That is a generous offer.
Peter Gregory just offered me 300, um...
And not just that, I will
help you build this company.
Well, a couple months later
both of his optic nerves and then,
that links up to your
smartphone and it keeps track
Whoa! Oh, jeez!
And neither does congress.
And what do you think Hooli
is going to do with it?
You really want to just turn it
all over to Hooli and walk away?
Andreesen, elevation and like a bunch of
other seed funds are piling onto this thing.
Look, guys, for thousands of years
Yeah, I don't want to be
there when you do that.
I know that you look at me, and see
a guy who has it all figured out.
What if I didn't sell?