Status
Ended
Network
FXX
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 5

Aired 9 years ago - Nov 20, 2013

The Shiva and The Ruxin are on the line. Andre confronts the one plastic surgeon in Chicago. Rafi tries to collect a debt from Ruxin's sister Rebecca. TacoCorp launches The Eskimo Brothers Database.

Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 13 (S05E13) - 1
Eventually, I'll expand it to BJs, Aborigine brothers, or
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Wow, like a Gary Coleman commercial for Wendy's.
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someone who doesn't respect me as a fantasy football player.
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survival? Swim class.
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quarters at me? Yeah. Hey, bangs, I'm talking
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We're not friends at all. This is a dirty, dirty,
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It is just dick in hole. Hey, where are you going?
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and hard, and I can't feel anything since I got frostbite
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Good night, Kevin. Good night, Pete.
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You got the top half, I got the bottom half.
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And what I need is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson-- A.K.A. you-- to
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Oh, my God. I get it.
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full penny-- I'll write it down in the EBDB.
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anesthesiologist, you get a mixologist.
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realize they're actually pretty ugly.
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Did you put a password on this?
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You remember your Uncle Kevin. Hello.
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Ha! Oh, this coming from the
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didn't. You know what happened?
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We might have to tinker a little.
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that, but here's your plane ticket.
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Why did you sign it? Did you read it through?
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I'm gonna miss this place. Shitty carpet, cheap couch,
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I didn't see you there. Shalom.
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like, shrimp and lobster. Okay, listen, I'm gonna be
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details. ...and shoonk!
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typing? Nothing. I like the sound.
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Oh, for example, I just found out that I'm Eskimo brothers
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Everybody calls me Ruxin. Well, I have a favor to ask, or
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What did you eat? I ate a raw onion earlier
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That takes me out of it. Shit. We're moving.
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the door. Just open the door, please!
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You wore a condom, right? No, no, no, no, no.
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Okay, well, Christmas came at the exact right time, because
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I worked on Baby Geoffrey's lines with him a little bit.
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the oil. It's like a Hanukkah miracle.
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also have a MacArthur Sacko. Oh, no.
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♪ Hallelujah... Um, what?
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Wow, they really care about our fantasy football league.
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And ever. ♪ This can't get any worse.
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Aired 9 years ago - Nov 20, 2013

Ruxin and Sofia battle over what religion baby Geoffrey will be. Andre tries a long con. Kevin worries he has been taking Jenny for granted.

Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 12 (S05E12) - 1
meaty clackers? No, you do... you do that and
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self-loathing, not 'cause he's anti-Semitic.
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And then, you know, maybe, if you want, I could probably give
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attic? (sniffs) You don't smell
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I don't want to know it. I do not want to know it.
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Davis. Oh. Ho, ho.
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the best of me all year. But now my revenge will be as
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gonna get our revenge on Pete. Please do not tell Pete.
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I kind of miss it. I miss it a lot.
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I just felt I should report it to you.
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dinner out of the freezer? I didn't.
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happy. I mean, with Georgia-- what
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Oh. Hey.
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I'm starving. You're joking, right?
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here? Look at you.
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Do you hear me? Just... say it back, and I'll
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anti-social shitter. Hi, brother.
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No, you were Judas or Satan. I was cast as Judas every
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It's not a holy war. We're gonna crush you.
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Said what I'd done to him was proof that God didn't exist on
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This is the Vernon Davis I know. Well, how do you know him?
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No, but I don't like that you're making me look so lame.
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Vernon Davis. Thanks, Taco.
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for TacoCorp headquarters. Those are Ellie's school
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use it, Taco. No, you don't.
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Ugh! All right, just, everyone
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It's not "sex with other men." You're a dick.
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because they'd be on the waiver wire.
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God. That's disgusting.
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Rafi! Oh.
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kitchen? I added a kitchen to an
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baptized him. Throwing him into Lake
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I don't need fake Vernon Davis to be into soup, I need
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What do you need me to do? Uh, just need five minutes of
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their body. We'd call them "The VD".
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No, absolutely not. All right, I'm gonna put
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Thank you for coming. How did you get a rabbi in
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And to think that Conservadox Judaism has only made her that
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Rodney Rod-man. Dennis Rod-man.
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over eight days instead of just one?
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had to let her win or else she'd throw tantrums.
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You just, you clarified everything for me.
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He's got a, some kind of huge injury, what is that?
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Rabbi Kirshenblatt, you remember my wife, Sofia?
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Yeah, well, the toilet didn't promise gifts.
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good to other people. That's called "ethics."
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Of course I play fantasy football.
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Uh, who wants to be Jewish and raise my son Jewish, I would
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But I need you, like, we're gonna have to, like, seriously
Aired 9 years ago - Nov 13, 2013

Ellie's basketball coach makes life tough on everyone. Pete dates a married woman, and Andre tries to help with a trade.

Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 1
- They do. - No, but you can't talk about it, sweetie.
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I now am under no obligation to buy you food. You're going to starve.
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Okay, that means... stomach problem, a coke habit, maybe?
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- No, it's a real thing, okay? - Hey, guys.
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See them out there on the field on Sunday?
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When do we get to meet this secretive lady you're keeping from us?
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You shouldn't do that. That hurts people.
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I mean, sneaking around. You're going to have to go incognito,
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Now, get on the floor. Give me 20. Come on... What is that?
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Yeah, I know she is. What she's bringing is weak shit.
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- Get down! - All right, I'm a man...
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I'd like to file a complaint with how you've been treating Chloe lately.
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- Oh, my God. - That's weak!
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That is the white-collar version of "get 'er done," okay?
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- How is married life for you, Peter? - It's incredibly frustrating right now.
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Well, I haven't stopped. You know, I like to complete an author.
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It's about, she tells me she's going to the gym,
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She happens to be unhappy in her marriage, but she's promised me
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just 'cause you guys are jealous that I'm having a great time.
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I live close to Georgia's gym, and I was thinking maybe
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shitty stable of running backs, so if you get me Le'Veon Bell...
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- I don't know. - Andre, this is such a win for you, okay?
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Sucker.
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- What did I tell you, huh? - Move, you little maggots, move!
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Yes! Sorry. Wow....
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"Lean in" is actually just about seeing Coach's cleavage, right?
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Hey, babe. I will see you in a couple of minutes, okay?
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but she's got no sack because you've got no sack.
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Well, then sack up, Ms. MacArthur.
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This... is my sack.
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All right, well, I hope these terrible furnishings don't ruin the mood.
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I'm the accomplice. Nice to meet you, Georgia.
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- What are we doing? - It's a little postcoital snack.
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Andre, what the hell are they doing?
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Hi, friend. Friend Jenny. I'm also friends with him.
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Okay.
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- Him, I did not know about. - Ooh, eggs.
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- Ooh, Good. Phew! - Excuse me?
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Pete and I should both be wearing wigs, okay?
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- Yes. - Why don't you let it grow?
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- It's the real thing. - I can't even deal with this right now.
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over an actual marriage, so I've decided to take a thick, hot,
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Pass the tissues. We all got issues.
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- Speaking of scores... - Go on, take it in.
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You see how disapproving she looks?
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Mrs. Thompson's over there with her husband.
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Jenny, make out with me real quick, 'cause it'll look like we're together.
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- Come on, ladies, hustle. - That's pathetic.
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Oh, well, it looks like your wife Georgia's name is also on the card.
Aired 9 years ago - Nov 06, 2013

Taco opens a pubic barber shop. Kevin's near death Flex-perience with Greg Jennings causes trouble with Jenny. Andre discovers a patient's electronic voice box sounds just like Ruxin.

Aired 9 years ago - Oct 30, 2013

Pete's lineups at work are out-performing his fantasy roster. Andre makes a trade with Jenny that could threaten his career. Rafi and Taco try to cash in on Kevin's mortality.

Aired 9 years ago - Oct 23, 2013

Chalupa Batman's first words cause fantasy friction between Kevin and Jenny. Ruxin's dog loses interest in Jenny. Taco is forced to face life without marijuana. Andre has never been pooped on by a bird.

Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 1
time? That was an accident.
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attractive. Huh, must've been a female
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What is in the briefcase? Well, goddamn popo's cracking
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the cloud with me at all times. It's like a cloud bank.
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It analyzes play-calling tendencies, strength of schedule
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- Isaiah Pead. - No, no...
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Does this smell like shit? Oh, God, Kevin!
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It smells like shit. Is anyone gonna fix the
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little bitch because these don't have any reefer in them.
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everything. You guys are so ugly.
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Whoa!
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Look at that stupid grin and your laid-back demeanor.
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made-up songs. Where the hell'd you get that
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Comment ça va? When did you start speaking
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upstairs. Come on.
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they're illegal and that's the government's job.
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there with that dog. Right? I know. It's weird.
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second, I came up with a law, conservation of boners.
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missing doggy boners are being transformed into other boners.
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dongers. I mean, where would those boners
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...we were just on our way to dinner, and I thought it would
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Handsome devil. You come here.
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I don't know what you did to this poor dog.
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I leave my work. I see a bird. Boom, we lock eyes.
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Yeah. Hello, gentlemen.
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as well, mm-hmm. What?
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Yeah, the Saints in a high-scoring game against the
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Everybody else got their Taco-bye.
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from my parents. Now can I be in the group?
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Hmm, interesting.
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As commissioner, I say no to re-stoning my brother.
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I have no visible means of support, I wear clothes I find
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All right, CB, these are your last moments with Elvis.
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Isaiah Pead! Ball sack! Not you!
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Hey, stop it! Let go! Get back! Oh! Go! God. Oh!
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Pead...
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Oh!
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women and now can only be aroused by women in violent
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beers, or... Hmm. Oh, they're okay.
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remind us, he's been taking his dog for longer walks recently.
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been watching pornography on his cell phone during his dog walks.
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right.
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Huh? James Russell Lowell.
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- No, no, some more time. - Oh, really?
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Oh, Andre, judgment day. Uh-oh!
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people who don't own televisions about not owning a television.
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What's going on What are you guys doing?
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Please! It's super depressing.
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Hey, Ruspin. Hi, Taco.
Aired 9 years ago - Oct 16, 2013

Andre takes a stand up class. Jenny joins a women's investment club. Pete plays Ruxin with two open slots on his team.

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I tell myself that every day, yeah.
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No? Okay. That's something I can work on.
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pull off. That's your thing, so you got
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you say I got, why you can't tell me what it is?
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You got to find the specifics. Gonna bees, uh, specific!
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Okay. Keep 'em separated. Hmm. "Welcome to the Total
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Good overall, but surely, there are elements that can be
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Certainly not District Attorney MacArthur."
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The LLC approved me. Oh!
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about it, okay? I've got us taken care of.
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fun fund. What's a fun fund?
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I got us. Been investing.
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Ooh, pizza would be really good right now.
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hospitals are kind of like the set of Star Wars?
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Oh, well, uh, then help me, Obi-Wan.
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please, yes? Oh, my goodness.
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hospice later today. Please let him die with dignity
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they're gonna eat themselves..." What? What's going on here?
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So proud and so sad. So I got to pick a stage name.
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You guys are not supposed to be here.
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guys, okay? So this frittata rodeo has got
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style?
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Oh, who didn't? God, wonderful.
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Yeah, I read about that, too. Yeah, and then from there, he
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Just make yourselves comfortable.
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Kevin, just... No, no, no, no, no, no! Hey!
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People ask me for advice. I give it to them.
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Well, Taco Corp is multi-faceted.
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I'm in the cloud right now. Wow.
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That's the cloud. Oh, cheers, cheers.
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Yes, please. You guys hungry?
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he writes all of his specific thoughts about his reps.
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seven players, he's gonna make a whole thing out of it.
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do it. Flip-flop, flip-flop... You know what, guys, if he
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Bye, Wes Welcher. Hey, Kevin, your wife,
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like to build a paper boat! Just stop making a scene and
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Uh, actually, sir... I can't believe Taco got the
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you, but the ladies love him. So we're going.
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You don't want to be seen with me?
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Did someone put it in here?! Jenny left, I can't find my journal.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 42
And I have no time to change. Okay.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 43
And I have a bathrobe. We demand service!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 44
diaper. What can I get you to drink?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 45
My gut's telling me that I should be buying some fruit.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 46
So let's give it up for Diamond Doc Nowzick!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 47
Yeah. All right.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 48
But in the middle there's a Southern boat captain who's
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 49
leaving the stage?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 7 (S05E07) - 50
starts.
Aired 9 years ago - Oct 09, 2013

Taco Corp. starts a petting zoo business. Kevin and Ellie rebel when Jenny tries to get the family to adopt a healthier lifestyle. Pete uses Andre as a trade maid.

Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 1
Uh, your super sexy wife. I'm doing Baby Geoffrey's party
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 2
What? The color is neither here nor
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 3
sessions' worth, Andre. That's not one shot.
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back. Just watch, watch, okay?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 5
Just a bad time, you know. Take a second, we'll just get
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 6
"Milk"? Do you want, like, one percent,
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 7
Geoffrey, you're not much of a physical specimen, but you can
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 8
I peed my pants a bit. A small bit, it's just a
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 9
You're driving around in a van that says "Heavy Petting"?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 10
Who's up for some heavy petting? Yay!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 11
Just like I taught you. Jesus, Taco, half these dogs
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 12
is a mobile pet cemetery, and I think that one might be a cat.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 13
They appreciate that I treat 'em all equally.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 14
Not my problem, lady.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 15
She didn't leave me, she's on vacation.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 16
these children around. Well, is there a ditch we
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 17
protein. You know what?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 18
Shh. Okay, go, go, go, go.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 19
Mommy will never think to look inside here.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 20
Oh, it seems you spilled a little bit in the corner of your
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 21
to keep your dogs off of my lawn.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 22
And keep the curtains of mine that you're wearing as a dress.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 23
Well, the rest of my bedroom set's already done.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 24
Oh! What?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 25
Yeah! What the...?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 26
favor. You are a brat, you know
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 27
wiener make a beeline for Andre's buns.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 28
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Uh, it gets her into trouble quite a bit, as you can imagine.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 30
medication.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 31
'Cause when you pee on green grass, it turns it yellow.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 32
Ew, what is that? That's you.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 33
drinks are here. Everyone here knows it's
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 34
Twinkies. Ho Hos.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 35
Ow! You're hurting me!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 36
Can no one change toilet
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 37
Brothers. Always cramping your space.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 38
Yes. Please, take them. Thank you.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 39
Took one of his wheels off so no one would steal him.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 40
I'm downtown and want some egg salad.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 41
It's a compass. "N" is this way, and I think
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 42
Rodney! Everybody calls me uxin."
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 43
Always whining, always whining.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 44
Not much. You know what. I think the dog's still
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 45
What are you doing so far away from home?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 46
Ellie, I can't have you walk home by yourself.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 47
me and you, that's it. No one has to know.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 48
And once my head was clear, I realized that was a terrible trade.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 49
Hey! Get your own pot.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 50
Aired 9 years ago - Oct 02, 2013

Ruxin misses his flight for a business trip and decides to hide out in Chicago instead of going home. Taco Corp. gets its first Worldwide Headquarters.

Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 1
I will be at your house in the morning.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 2
Ah! It's, uh, evidence. I don't want to implicate you.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 3
Rafi stole it. Yeah, well, what about my
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 4
What? No, that is evidence. Right, it's... evidence.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 5
I love you, babe. Bye. I love you, too. Bye.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 6
Like "choke 'em out" stuff. God, you're freaking me out,
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 7
box with you. No, it's cool, man.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 8
Take the box and go. There's gay stuff.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 9
give me this box. Terrorist?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 10
Stop saying "bomb"! I'm not saying "bomb"!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 11
Taco's Truck Grab yourself some grub at ♪ Taco's Truck Taco's Truck
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 12
♪ Taco's Truck For hot dogs!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 13
Oh, get out of here, you little
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 14
Truck." Ow! You... Ah, son of a bitch!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 15
Hey, babe.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 16
Yeah, I decided it was a bad idea to tell her that I was
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 17
gonna have an affair. You want me to go have an
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 18
You no longer have to eat this garbage because Taco's Truck is
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 19
week? Why don't you just get a hotel? No paper trail-- can't use a
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 20
Mmm. Think I'll work for this bucket of meat loaf. Meat loaf.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 21
Get to work! Let's go! Hi.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 22
What? I never get a chance to wear it.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 23
Mmm. Can I get you guys anything to drink? No, I think we'll ask the
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 24
How's your day? Oh, God. Okay.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 25
breakfast and shit you out before I'm even done with my
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 26
I never get a chance to wear it.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 27
And a matching hat. Here, you hold this, I'll get that, okay. Okay.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 28
I'd like a chicken burrito. No, we don't do burritos.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 29
And where are those fries? Table three's waiting.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 30
I can't wash my hands with anything.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 31
No, we don't serve Italian food, either.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 32
About time. What are you doing in there?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 33
Taco's stand. Hmm, I think you'll find
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 34
Oh, shit, I have to put Chalupa down before Jenny gets home. I got to go.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 35
mantel when I left. You know how those Latin ladies
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 36
pretty sure he's stealing some of my stolen stuff.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 37
Thank you. Come here.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 38
Really? Okay, let's just...
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 39
Whether they are boating or playing sports... You like that, huh?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 40
My little sexy dynamo. Mmm.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 41
Well, it's not a comedy. Is there anything I need to know
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 42
your toothbrush for the last three weeks 'cause I can't find
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 43
glassware. Will you just get your equipmunk
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 44
it, right? Well, maybe you did.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 45
Wait, wait a second.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 46
You are too hot to handle. No, stop.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 47
Oh, my God. Taco!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 48
Okay, here's what I'm thinking. We put it inside the fireplace,
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 49
I do, too. Yeah, but you're on a bye week. So? I had to come home.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 50
No, you had a 45-minute conversation.
Aired 9 years ago - Sep 25, 2013

When their friend is murdered, Rafi and Dirty Randy head to L.A. to avenge his death and break into the mainstream porn business.

Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 1
In this bullshit library, I own security!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 2
wanted to get a blow job from a woman with no teeth, but now I
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 3
friend... he's totally gonna let us borrow his car.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 4
Oh, goddamn Rafi!*
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 5
Go left, go left, go left.*
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 6
So he could do drugs with it. Instead, he just looks at his
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 7
Rafi. Wake up. Wake up, man!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 8
This is nice. Super nice.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 9
I told you everything. You are a tough nut to crack,
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 10
Come back here! That's matte finish.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 11
of my mother's cat, is this what you did?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 12
a vigilante. Why? Batman does it.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 13
Yeah, non-porno movies. With real people in them.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 14
That's what Hitler was saying. Is that what he was saying?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 15
Don't dump it out on my... We're just gonna use this...
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 16
*Whew. Oh, ho, ho, ho.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 17
I want to investigate that clue.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 18
Yeah!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 19
They're kind of just asking for an Accused typesituation,
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 20
in here. I think we should have
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 21
He always let us shoot porns in his room.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 22
I don't want to rush you guys, but if you need two more
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 23
What?! The amazing pornographer Chuck Falcon?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 24
make our way in there when we go to... the Falcon's nest.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 25
What? We've got a bunch of porn
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 26
Oh, sure. You pull 'em down, poop, and
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 27
party. I've already made a call.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 28
girls? Okay, Big Daddy, you know,
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 29
and whack him. Just walking over here.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 30
Sometimes we just start having sex.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 31
What are you doing on my premises?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 32
Listen to me. Amateur porn is all the rage
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 33
This is ha... it's happening. I'm just like...
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 34
Where do I sign? What, why?!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 35
Don't look at me. Feed me.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 36
Should we cut? Yes!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 37
Ten paces, then start shooting. You ready?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 38
High five? God.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 39
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 40
Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 41
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Aired 9 years ago - Sep 18, 2013

Kevin and Jenny discover that Jay and Kristen Cutler's kid is attending the same preschool. Pete tries to cheer up Andre with a little help from Snoop Dogg. Taco gives away control of his team.

Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 1
Hmm. Andre?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 2
minutes to learn. No wonder why she left.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 3
Everyone's just pulling out. How great is this place,
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 4
I haven't been back. Do you know that somebody
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 5
He's about to be a money shot." I mean, who puts a pink
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 6
Ah, let's get T-shirts made up.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 7
Later, guys. You, too. So good...
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 8
you shit sippers in the dust. Well, I'm glad you're having
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 9
Yeah. Okay, you good with that
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 10
Should be around here. He likes to sleep in the
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 11
I need my fantasy football team back.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 12
It's been a real hassle, especially during the season.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 13
Yeah. Yep. Surprise!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 14
What? Don't ruin this.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 15
Oh, my God. Oh.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 16
Whoa-ho! What a hit!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 17
Kevin? Well, my little guy's getting
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 18
I was so close to hanging out with cool people finally.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 19
is up to. Not only will he not throw the
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 20
But you will. I think this will really
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 21
I lost my dick for your freedom! Have fun on the Fourth of July
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 22
it, wasn't me. My name's Kevin MacArthur.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 23
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if it was boring, even if it was a blowout, you had to commit to
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 25
This could be your life. Yeah... I mean, yeah...
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 26
No, I want a Riesling. Don't say that, okay?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 27
No, Officer, I have not been drinking tonight.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 28
brother, Pete. Hey, Pete, how you doing,
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 29
It's horrible. It's a train wreck. Bad bad.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 30
Mm... Yeah! Bro time.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 31
I can go to you, I can go to you, I can go to you.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 32
What about you? Okay, that's a man.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 33
So come into my man cave! That's not really as bad
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 34
Nice. So, Andre's in a K-hole?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 35
Andre, we're entering
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 36
Ta-da!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 37
No, no, no, no, it's a magic, it's a magic trick.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 38
in the war. Oh, wow.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 39
patient. Ted.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 40
you guys. Completely.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 41
"Ooh" what? No. No! These bubbles need a home.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 42
Okay, yes, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 43
Oh, I'm gonna blow.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 44
What did you do?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 45
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Aired 9 years ago - Sep 11, 2013

The wedding weekend continues but what happened at the draft comes back to haunt everyone. Ruxin wrestles J.J. Watt for control of his fantasy team.

Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 1
How many hats are you gonna wear?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 2
No lazy doves, J-Balls! No?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 3
You're sitting alone here at the pool because Pete and Kevin
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 4
I can change their mind. And what do I have to do in
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 5
football for a year. Looks like you still play
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 6
Please. Those girlish diva receivers?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 7
'Cause you're dangerous. You'd better get going.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 8
Now, today you're all a part of my team.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 9
that? You gotta wear it!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 10
and his two wives. Top Groom!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 11
It's fake blood. Break point.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 12
Where's the nearest bathroom? I think they're pretty far.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 13
I'm not Seabiscuit! I gotta have vacation
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 14
who sniffs young girls' panties, and of course, the newsies
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 15
I'll be honest with you, I could use a great running
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 16
Yeah! Speech!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 17
That they were like Barbie dolls.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 18
Anus Trixie. This is an important work.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 19
So from MVPs to A-I-Ds. Everybody, Ted.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 20
Did I just say great wide receivers?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 21
Andre, anyone. Anyone or Andre is going to have
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 22
No, I don't mind a bit. Thank you.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 23
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. This is not my forte.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 24
You know, if I could just better Kevin's toast...
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 25
in the Northwest. ...who once said, "I am
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 26
not very bright. All right.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 27
You screwed me! You gave me traids.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 28
was gonna be back in the league. Whoops.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 29
Top Groom! Whoo-hoo!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 30
Well, that's perfect because I swiped that fool's
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 31
No, I'm saving myself. I'm practicing fap-stinence.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 32
You got to start letting peoepl out now.
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Taco! Ten dollars, $20.
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- Lunch and dinner. - ♪ Shiva Komedi
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Oh, he must've switched the keys.
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Go, go, go! Run, you guys, run, run,
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 37
a married man. And more importantly, got you
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 38
I'm gonna do it by myself. That's so weird.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 39
expensive this stuff is? You know, I know you guys are
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 40
Not to the room. No, no, no, no, no!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 41
no? No, that's last year's board.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 42
Wow. Andre!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 43
We should clean up before Andre gets home, right?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 44
What happened to trust? Please...
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 45
even touch me... I'm gonna ruin my makeup.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 46
on her hands, too? Why didn't you go with her,
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 47
the league? Oh, my God.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 48
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 49
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 50
Aired 9 years ago - Sep 04, 2013

The League travels to Los Angeles for Andre and Trixie's destination wedding. Ruxin refuses to do his Sacko punishments and Shiva Champion Ted has a few surprises for everyone at the draft, including JJ Watt.

Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 1
But I get where all this is coming from.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 2
Normally like four, but I could probably fit about six or seven.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 3
Video message.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 4
I don't remember him being that good with sand.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 5
The Ted draft will be held in California.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 6
league, I don't really give a shit about the draft.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 7
Yeah, I'm in.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 8
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 9
cake that dogfights and shoots chocolate bullets.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 10
I'll get a couple more samples.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 11
And people love competition.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 12
I promise.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 13
She doesn't have that power.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 14
Secret draft.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 15
Ooh... Fine, but I'm not that comfortable with this.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 16
And this is a broposal.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 17
And that's why I think it would be prudent if you chose Taco.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 18
between the four of you, so I went with Jenny."
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 19
I help with the bachelor party and... Sex tips? I need 'em.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 20
And this weekend is gonna be a Andre spectacular.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 21
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 22
about it.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 23
I just want you to know that, as a doctor, if you ever need
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 24
I mean, you get to use that special lane on the highway.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 25
What'd I miss?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 26
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 27
Bold letters just screaming it.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 28
Really? You're gonna stand five feet from us and you're not gonna draft?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 29
Uh, indeed I am.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 30
thing, like they're friends.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 31
Pocket dogs.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 32
What is that?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 33
Are we ready to start the next year of my championship?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 34
We keep it tight, you know?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 35
I give you... the Ruxin.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 36
It looks like his head sat in gum.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 37
No, no, no, you animal!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 38
First pick in the second round.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 39
Okay, but you are going to take that team as it is.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 40
You can't unjoin the Domination League!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 41
Things I do for my friends.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 42
What the hell is this?
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 43
Well, we didn't... No one clarified it before... The masks are...
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 44
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 45
You're not going anywhere, pretty, pretty boy.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 46
Spazinelli, calm down, these are just paintball guns.
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 47
Please, no!
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 48
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 49
Recap of The League Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 50