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Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

S3 E5
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Ended
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Netflix
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Season 3  "Kimmy Steps on a Crack!"  3x5

Aired 7 years ago - May 19, 2017

The FBI enlists Kimmy's help when former mole woman Gretchen tries to start a cult of her own. Titus is stricken with a strange disease.

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Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 1
Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 2
Like how bangs always seem like a good idea,
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 3
I didn't steal him.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 4
Ohh!
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 5
Oh, I don't want to embarrass myself at the luncheon.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 6
and that you'll be joining us this afternoon.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 7
Because that was some great acting.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 8
Yeah, well...
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 9
And all my pillows are stained with his nightmare sweat.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 10
Oh, God.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 11
Oh, no, these are just a bunch of Garfield heads.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 12
Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 13
Okay! But don't try anything funny!
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 14
Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 15
'Cause they can't, and, also, it's 2017 now.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 16
Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 17
they learn how to put peanut butter on bread.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 18
I'm just saying this isn't working. You're miserable.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 19
Hey, I need $200. It's for a sword.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 20
Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 21
and giving them the recipe could earn us some goodwill
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 22
The bonobo, genetically our closest relative...
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 23
the first female clown.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 24
And not a word about my beliefs.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 25
Then go in there and get them to stop masturbating so much.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 26
Ten minutes. Sure, I'll just...
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 27
Ugh, it's the scurvy talking.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 28
Hey!
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 29
Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 30
Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 31
Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 32
It's your last chance, Chalker!
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 33
Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 34
Have you lost weight? Everyone thinks so.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 35
Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 36
No. I am Dr. Vanessa Poseidon.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 37
Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 38
Like a British seaman.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 39
and our public transportation stinks,
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 40
Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 41
You're gonna have to get braces again.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 42
Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 43
Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 44
the recipe and a real marriage with someone who loves him.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 45
It's like I'm talking, but she's not listening.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 46
More like Slutberry Slutskank.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 47
leading her herd of bulls and calves miles across the baking Serengeti.
 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 48
Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 49
Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 50
Titus has been sitting here for quite some time.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 2
Like how bangs always seem like a good idea,
#2 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 3
I didn't steal him.
#3 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 4
Ohh!
#4 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 5
Oh, I don't want to embarrass myself at the luncheon.
#5 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 6
and that you'll be joining us this afternoon.
#6 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 7
Because that was some great acting.
#7 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 8
Yeah, well...
#8 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 9
And all my pillows are stained with his nightmare sweat.
#9 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 10
Oh, God.
#10 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 11
Oh, no, these are just a bunch of Garfield heads.
#11 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 12 #12 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 13
Okay! But don't try anything funny!
#13 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 14 #14 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 15
'Cause they can't, and, also, it's 2017 now.
#15 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 16 #16 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 17
they learn how to put peanut butter on bread.
#17 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 18
I'm just saying this isn't working. You're miserable.
#18 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 19
Hey, I need $200. It's for a sword.
#19 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 20 #20 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 21
and giving them the recipe could earn us some goodwill
#21 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 22
The bonobo, genetically our closest relative...
#22 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 23
the first female clown.
#23 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 24
And not a word about my beliefs.
#24 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 25
Then go in there and get them to stop masturbating so much.
#25 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 26
Ten minutes. Sure, I'll just...
#26 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 27
Ugh, it's the scurvy talking.
#27 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 28
Hey!
#28 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 29 #29 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 30 #30 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 31 #31 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 32
It's your last chance, Chalker!
#32 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 33 #33 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 34
Have you lost weight? Everyone thinks so.
#34 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 35 #35 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 36
No. I am Dr. Vanessa Poseidon.
#36 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 37 #37 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 38
Like a British seaman.
#38 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 39
and our public transportation stinks,
#39 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 40 #40 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 41
You're gonna have to get braces again.
#41 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 42 #42 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 43 #43 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 44
the recipe and a real marriage with someone who loves him.
#44 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 45
It's like I'm talking, but she's not listening.
#45 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 46
More like Slutberry Slutskank.
#46 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 47
leading her herd of bulls and calves miles across the baking Serengeti.
#47 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 48 #48 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 49 #49 Recap of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 50
Titus has been sitting here for quite some time.
#50