S2 E1
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Season 2  "Swiss Miss"  2x1

Aired 9 years ago - Jan 27, 2011

In yet another attempt to secure funding for ISIS, Malory drags her agents to the luxury winter resort town of Gstaad to protect a Swiss billionaire's daughter from a kidnapping threat. But Archer soon finds out the real threat is his protectee: an underage nymphomaniac who will stop at nothing to bed the world’s greatest spy.

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Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 1
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 2
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 3
Yeah, and if money's so damn tight, why is she even here?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 4
What kind of limit is that?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 5
- Let's hope not. - ...you must protect mein princess.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 6
Surely El Frente does not frighten the famous Sterling Archer.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 7
- Come on. - And the rest of you, get to work.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 8
- What what? Didn't you see that? - I saw you totally eye-bang a teenager.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 9
Don't smell it.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 10
Your twin brother.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 11
- So we go with my plan. - Your plan stinks more than that cheese.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 12
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 13
Countess von Fingerbang.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 14
In many ways, yes, but we can talk about that in bed.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 15
Holy shit. Did you see that?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 16
So they're not pikemen. Wait, Anka, tell your father what happened.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 17
And yet here you stand...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 18
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 19
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 20
Yeah, the entire hotel's talking about your little shaving accident.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 21
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 22
And as luck has it, there is some chilling in mein suite.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 23
Meaning I set one on fire?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 24
- Should I kiss it and make it better? - No, you should get away from me.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 25
Now, raus, you mouse. Get ready for our ski lesson.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 26
Yeah, which is last.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 27
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 28
Now I must call headquarters for reinforcements.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 29
All these idiots think about is sex.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 30
...who's got a jillion guests coming to her birthday party tomorrow.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 31
Holy shit. Lana, look. That's the kidnapper I set on fire.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 32
And if you don't believe me, fine.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 33
Going against an unknown number of radical terrorists...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 34
Not without my glasses. I was hoping you could read this to me...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 35
Then you don't get to squirt that hot white cream all over your face.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 36
Right after I freeze to death. Double dukes.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 37
Do you think I need a boob job?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 38
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 39
Come on.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 40
I mean, I'm sure I've been in worse situations.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 41
Immigrants. Cramming their lowriders full of free health care and snow.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 42
Yeah, all four minutes of it.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 43
Triple dukes.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 44
Okay, I need you to do exactly what I tell you when I tell you without...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 45
Hey, that's right in my ear, so...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 46
You want lies? Wait until I tell everyone you seduced me.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 47
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 48
...the Lars Larsen Snowmobiling Experience?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 49
You gotta twist it, like this.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 50
Grip it hard as you can and twist the absolute shit out of it.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 2 #2 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 3
Yeah, and if money's so damn tight, why is she even here?
#3
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 4
What kind of limit is that?
#4
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 5
- Let's hope not. - ...you must protect mein princess.
#5
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 6
Surely El Frente does not frighten the famous Sterling Archer.
#6
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 7
- Come on. - And the rest of you, get to work.
#7
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 8
- What what? Didn't you see that? - I saw you totally eye-bang a teenager.
#8
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 9
Don't smell it.
#9
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 10
Your twin brother.
#10
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 11
- So we go with my plan. - Your plan stinks more than that cheese.
#11
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 12 #12 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 13
Countess von Fingerbang.
#13
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 14
In many ways, yes, but we can talk about that in bed.
#14
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 15
Holy shit. Did you see that?
#15
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 16
So they're not pikemen. Wait, Anka, tell your father what happened.
#16
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 17
And yet here you stand...
#17
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 18 #18 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 19 #19 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 20
Yeah, the entire hotel's talking about your little shaving accident.
#20
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 21 #21 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 22
And as luck has it, there is some chilling in mein suite.
#22
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 23
Meaning I set one on fire?
#23
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 24
- Should I kiss it and make it better? - No, you should get away from me.
#24
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 25
Now, raus, you mouse. Get ready for our ski lesson.
#25
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 26
Yeah, which is last.
#26
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 27 #27 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 28
Now I must call headquarters for reinforcements.
#28
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 29
All these idiots think about is sex.
#29
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 30
...who's got a jillion guests coming to her birthday party tomorrow.
#30
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 31
Holy shit. Lana, look. That's the kidnapper I set on fire.
#31
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 32
And if you don't believe me, fine.
#32
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 33
Going against an unknown number of radical terrorists...
#33
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 34
Not without my glasses. I was hoping you could read this to me...
#34
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 35
Then you don't get to squirt that hot white cream all over your face.
#35
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 36
Right after I freeze to death. Double dukes.
#36
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 37
Do you think I need a boob job?
#37
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 38 #38 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 39
Come on.
#39
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 40
I mean, I'm sure I've been in worse situations.
#40
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 41
Immigrants. Cramming their lowriders full of free health care and snow.
#41
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 42
Yeah, all four minutes of it.
#42
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 43
Triple dukes.
#43
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 44
Okay, I need you to do exactly what I tell you when I tell you without...
#44
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 45
Hey, that's right in my ear, so...
#45
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 46
You want lies? Wait until I tell everyone you seduced me.
#46
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 47 #47 Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 48
...the Lars Larsen Snowmobiling Experience?
#48
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 49
You gotta twist it, like this.
#49
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 50
Grip it hard as you can and twist the absolute shit out of it.
#50