Status
Continuing
Next episode
TBA
Airs
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXX
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 4

Aired 4 years ago - Apr 11, 2013

Archer and the ISIS crew go to an underwater SEA LABoratory to stop the deranged Captain Murphy.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 1
I've thought through every aspect of the mission.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 2
Boop.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 3
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 4
TIFFY: Sea Tum' to DSV Goddess.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 5
LANA: Asshole! ARCHER: What, Lana? I clearly called skipper.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 6
Do you think that was wise? Meaning?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 7
He tried to have me committed so he could steal my inheritance!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 8
Always teasing me, calling me Spamela, rubbing cheese curds in my eyes.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 9
Who could forgive a person who buys a boat this big with no bar on it'?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 10
Oh, great. The World's first DSVUI.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 11
Da-da-da-da. You drink it, you replace it.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 12
She thinks our whole society is gonna collapse if we run out of oil or whatever.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 13
Well, God bless corn subsidies.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 14
...so we can enjoy what is probably a once-in-a-lifetime ad-
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 15
--When I say we'd all be a lot happier if you weren't so--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 16
What were you gonna say?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 17
And I hate that it's come to this, but I truly don't see an alternative.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 18
But then I thought better of it.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 19
Chet, sound guy.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 20
Fourth. And third-ranked pro kitesurfer.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 21
CYRIL: Jeezy Petes, that thing is huge.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 22
Do you think this is some kind of a trap? Heh. What?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 23
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 24
MURPHY: My men are guarding the missiles. CYRIL: Well, there goes that plan.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 25
The bridge is where the chair is!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 26
LANA & GILLETTE: Ugh. I really doubt we'll have time, Randy.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 27
Oh. That's just an idiom. It means--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 28
I just wanted to help people, but all these foundations are so expensive.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 29
Which I never bothered to read.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 30
And also my salary is $600,000 a year.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 31
At least. The fish have to replenish.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 32
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 33
So I think you should come with us, and-- I'm not going anywhere. Nor are you!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 34
And air pressure.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 35
[SCATTING TO ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 36
Uh, okay, uh, one of two things is going to happen now.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 37
Oh, my God, I'm having the weirdest déja vu right now.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 38
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 39
GILLETTE: Oh, my-- Oh, I hurt my back. AUTOMATED VOICE: Pod one, flooded.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 40
And I just refilled the cans.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 41
This is pod two.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 42
Okay, there's-- Wait, why did a TV crew have a gun?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 43
Unh. Scuba gear.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 44
Best case, for a strong swimmer, two minutes.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 45
What-- Lana, this isn't entirely about race.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 46
...that's why I've been puking, and that's why my boobs are so huge!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 47
Crushed by an off-brand drink machine.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 48
Shut up. Here. Wh--?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 49
And if it didn't, all the more reason to drive this tub to Bermuda...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 13 (S04E13) - 50
Archer? Lana.
Aired 4 years ago - Apr 04, 2013

Cheryl's brother Cecil Tunt and his girlfriend Tiffy drive her crazier than usual as they travel into the Bermuda Triangle. Where mysteries abound!.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 1
Remember when your new episodes are out with TVShow Time for iPhone and Android
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 2
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 3
...an undersea laboratory and this choppersaurus?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 4
I swear to God, if you get us kicked off before I get my jumbo scrimps on...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 5
Because he's totally vegan...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 6
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 7
Done. You're okay, Cecil.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 8
Well, of countries ravaged by war. Right, otherwise--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 9
Man, all those charities have gotta cost, like-- Hey, I should go help Tiffy...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 10
My nerves are frayed enough as it is. Really?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 11
You done?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 12
I guess whatever useless thing philanthropists normally get...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 13
Was it that goose you freed, ruining last year's Christmas dinner, or-?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 14
Well, you seem busy.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 15
I was curious if you'd noticed anything, well, curious about her behavior.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 16
Oh, my God. I don't know what to say.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 17
But you're telling me she had...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 18
Well, I appreciate your candor in this matter, Ms. Archer.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 19
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 20
Okay. Love our little talks.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 21
Plus, I assume you've got an EpiPen on this big Riptide-looking bastard?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 22
It's either us or the Russians-- I did not hear that, but--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 23
Oh, and also, dummies, we're 500 miles from the nearest tree.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 24
Last one.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 25
But since all I'm asking is a measly 3 percent,
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 26
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 27
I wasn't going to. Well, then what's on your mind?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 28
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 29
Look, auditory hallucinations aren't gonna make you any less delicious.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 30
...so that he can show it to a judge and get conservatorship over me.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 31
...you also thought you were a werewolf!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 32
I, uh... No.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 33
And the seas are really choppy, so we may be in for a rough landing.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 34
I am actually.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 35
Nothing. There's nothing to talk about, because I am--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 36
The cockpit is off-limits, missy! Oh, yeah?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 37
What the hell is going on? It's Cheryl. She's in the cockpit.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 38
Cheryl! Cheryl, open this door!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 39
Cheryl, can you come out so we can talk about this like adults...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 40
That's why she hijacked his helicopter?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 41
That Hairy Navel was mostly Kentucky Moon.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 42
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 43
Are you ready?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 44
Mm-hm!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 45
Because you've been trying to get your bony man-hooks on her money for years...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 46
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 47
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 48
Help us get the hydrogen bomb, yeah.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 49
...so I could get control of her inheritance
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 12 (S04E12) - 50
Wait, so if all you wanted was to get us on tape saying she's crazy--
Aired 4 years ago - Mar 28, 2013

Archer must rescue the Pope from an assassination plot using Woodhouse as a decoy. Operation Bad Habit is a go.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 1
Lana, it's an undercover mission. At the Vatican?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 2
priests wouldn't peg him- as American?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 3
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti, et cetera, et -
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 4
For your information, Lana, I have totally prepared for this mission.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 5
But even if you were prepared- Which I truly feel that I am.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 6
Since none of your beeswax, and- Bwoohahaahaaa!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 7
Guess that explains that. But it doesn't explain
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 8
Paaaam!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 9
-- whereas I was just speaking Italian, which neither
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 10
Duh?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 11
And Pam, if you keep your eyes open and your big
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 12
Shut up! And you also shut up.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 13
Oh really?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 14
It was a bollard! And my point was- Fine! You're agent-in-
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 15
Seriously, eat, you're like a slow loris.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 16
Oh for the -- and thanks for making me carry your bag through customs!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 17
Mio dio! You think this is funny?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 18
It was an eight-hour flight.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 19
We call it the old switcheroo.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 20
Eh... non si traduce bene.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 21
Bloody hell. What are we doing here?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 22
Aw crap, he's already dead.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 23
Gonna see if his breath fogs it up.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 24
hell I'm going to hell I'm going to hell I'm-
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 25
mirror? But like, a much much smaller one?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 26
What, why is there a giant mirror on the oh my God
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 27
Chi siete voi, dove sono le guardie?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 28
Dio mio! He look just like me!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 29
And then what?! You are only two!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 30
it's the Swiss Guard... I think we can handle a few court jesters
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 31
Which is why where's the gear bag with all of our automatic weapons?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 32
-- halberds. Although technically I think they're called voulges.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 33
Ow! Oh for shit's sake, already!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 34
Italy's so gay. Which, by the way, Pope, on the gay thing...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 35
So why are you scared of church stuff?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 36
No, I just -- Bishop the android from Aliens?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 37
That's impossible.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 38
side?! She's Lutheran!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 39
Because why would they be?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 40
Holy sh -- it's a false flag operation! To make it look
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 41
Right, with the smudge-pot...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 42
Go! What're you doing?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 43
Oh right.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 44
Shit, I had a pun about flares.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 45
- Fine, I'll buy a damn indulgence! Oh wait... - Wait until they're
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 46
goddamn agent-in-command!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 47
Ahhhh, oh!!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 48
Wrong X-Man, dumbass!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 49
Rrrgh. I'm fine!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 11 (S04E11) - 50
ARCHER
Aired 4 years ago - Mar 21, 2013

Archer and Lana extract an agent from Morocco only to find out his bark is worse than his bite.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 1
You have one. Yeah, I wish.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 2
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 3
"Your mother is a whore and a goatherd is her pimp."
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 4
...who's driving this clown car like Parnelli fricking Jones?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 5
Are you coming?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 6
And now I can't sleep because I'm pretty sure I have a concussion.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 7
Okay, but you're missing out on all the great things Tangier has to offer.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 8
I drew because we don't know what's waiting for us behind this--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 9
ARCHER: I don't think he likes guns.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 10
She asked, regretfully, remembering that just moments earlier...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 11
Because she loved it more than you? Ha, ha. Very funny.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 12
See? He really doesn't like guns, Lana. He can't stress that enough.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 13
You could use a Tic Tac.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 14
He cannot be Kazak.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 15
Lana, look. He thinks he's people.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 16
[KAZAK BARKS]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 17
[CHERYL SIGHS]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 18
But you are here. Ah! If you walk over here and touch me...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 19
What a surprise. Speaking of...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 20
But I'm very comfortable in my own body, thank you very much. And--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 21
[KAZAK FARTING]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 22
...but now she won't even take my call?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 23
I also speak for Kazak, who, by the way, is the real victim here.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 24
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 25
But boat or not boat, we won't be getting on it.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 26
But why on earth do you feel you're qualified to be an ISIS field agent?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 27
No. But this can't-- You cheated.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 28
Sterile test conditions, anyway. But I can promise she didn't cheat.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 29
It can't determine if they're suited for actual field work.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 30
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 31
So you aced the test and beat up a Nazi, a nerd and queen of the robots'?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 32
LANA: Stop the car. I'm serious.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 33
Wouldn't have shot you for a gazillion bucks.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 34
I don't know. She threw away my phrasebook.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 35
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 36
I was gonna say, GPS, gun, sat phone, and canteen full of life-saving water.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 37
Or about you being carsick?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 38
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 39
LANA: Because you let him. Because you let him push your buttons.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 40
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 41
From the wrong direction. Oh, shit.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 42
Will you put Mother on the damn phone? What's the magic word?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 43
Plus, I'm an amazing driver. Plus, I almost never get sick.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 44
It's-- Because I never really got over that.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 45
Heh. I guess I had that coming.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 46
The hovercraft. Whatever. Why aren't you people on it?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 47
Coach, by the way-- And don't even get me started on that.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 48
Are you--? That's all we were after? Well, you could have told us, Mother.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 49
[ARCHER SIGHS THEN DOG GROWLS]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 10 (S04E10) - 50
[VOMITS]
Aired 4 years ago - Mar 14, 2013

Archer and Lana pose as newlyweds to stop a sale of enriched uranium.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 1
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 2
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 3
Second, I trust Lana completely, especially with regard to Archer.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 4
I'm like a calculator. Add it up. Add it up.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 5
But we have to go now. The vet comes back from lunch in 20 minutes.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 6
Wait. What? Yeah.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 7
Yeah, whatever. But on the way we're-- Not swinging by the zoo.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 8
Well, I was gonna say Tokarevs and Shpagin-41 submachine guns...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 9
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 10
...during the coming nuclear winter. Ugh.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 11
You said my card was used at the Tuntmore Towers Hotel?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 12
I am literally going to kill him.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 13
Oh, he is going to pay for this. Literally.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 14
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 15
Oh, God. Were you raised in a barn?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 16
Look, just give me 10, 20 minutes and--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 17
Do you even know if that thing works?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 18
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 19
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 20
What? No. Actually, Archer's alone.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 21
Only if they're who screwed me out of my bonus.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 22
Okay. So it's gonna sound like I'm hanging up but...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 23
Ugh. The phone. Give me.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 24
Sucks, right? I mean, that's not even remotely fair.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 25
I'm coming! Phrasing, boom!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 26
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 27
The ultimate's doing it on top of a tranqed-up tiger.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 28
Your fault to begin with.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 29
Total, it's more like, holy shit, 19.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 30
And it is final.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 31
Wait, ha, ha. What? Uh, yeah. Hang on, you're breaking up.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 32
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 33
Yeah, which is why it's surprising that you're so shitty at it.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 34
You're allergic to penicillin. Oh, right. And...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 35
Look, you two stay if you want. I'm leaving.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 36
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 37
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 38
She's in command.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 39
We deal with you soon enough.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 40
Could you go ahead and shoot one or both of us now?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 41
It's not democratic, not a republic, and definitely not glorious.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 42
Wow! Okay, so since we're being racist--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 43
It's rosemary-mint.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 44
Nailed it. Boom!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 45
Whoo. Wow. Thank God you've been arrested so many times.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 46
Come on, Figgis. Come on, Figgis. Come on, Figgis.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 47
- Unh. - Uh, couple things.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 48
Because I left my jetpack in my other pants.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 49
Lana! I'm coming, Cyril.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 9 (S04E09) - 50
Cyril? Smoke fight! Whoo!
Aired 4 years ago - Mar 07, 2013

Archer heads to the Mexican border to capture a notorious coyote, which is Spanish for coyote.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 1
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 2
...but let's, you know, deescalate the situation.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 3
Well, here's some news, now this is happening.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 4
Oh, shit, I forgot there's people in there. Cyril, open the door, idiot.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 5
Ooh, or maybe our tax-funded government schools...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 6
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 7
Now, open the goddamn door.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 8
So? You get like six freebies. No, you don't!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 9
Wait, hang on, are you wearing Kevlar?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 10
So just so I'm clear, you expect me to believe...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 11
Still, though, it doesn't--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 12
You did say right this second.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 13
Cheap because they don't pay taxes. Thank you.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 14
Oh, my God, what's cereal made from?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 15
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 16
So share the goddamn Doritos!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 17
Yeah, or Arizona, Mexico, New Mexico.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 18
All right, point-- Wait, wait, wait.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 19
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 20
I'm serious, please, thank you, but we need to get back into Mexico.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 21
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 22
Well, this is the opposite of help!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 23
You think I'm some kind of a whore?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 24
ARCHER: Okay, okay, I'm pulling over.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 25
Oh, plus, you are just covered in polvo Dorito.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 26
And that, to me, is muy admirable.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 27
Here. MORENO: You are crazy.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 28
[GUNS CLICKING]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 29
What about the racial profiling, huh? Whatever happened to the probable cause?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 30
Really? You learn that in med school?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 31
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 32
I don't know, the police band is working, but now the eight-track is:
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 33
Oh, goddamn it.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 34
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 35
...which I had earmarked for vital operations.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 36
Which, to belabor the point, you failed.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 37
[SIGHS]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 38
That you obviously didn't get into?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 39
...equal responsibility with Lana. Wh--?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 40
...and then it's, ha-ha, beep, and then somehow Pm the idiot.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 41
Boy, I wish you'd tell that to the licensing board.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 42
[BOTH LAUGH]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 43
Now, can we go already?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 44
So if there's any way to get to one, a medevac chopper wouldn't kill him.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 45
Yes, just like you've done up to now.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 46
...to see if I can get my son out of this mess.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 47
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 48
You call headquarters, you say an innocent Amer--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 49
And besides, what kind of car will the Border Patrol be looking for?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 8 (S04E08) - 50
Huh. So, uh, I'm guessing that's a no posible on the blowjob?
Aired 4 years ago - Feb 28, 2013

Archer, Lana, and Cyril go undercover in celebrity chef Lance Casteau's hellish kitchen.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 1
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 2
Seize, please hold. Seize, please hold. Seize, please hold.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 3
Why? No, I was being facetious.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 4
That's not the real number for reservations.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 5
Yeah, so try to sound apologetic, but not, you know, overly so.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 6
Why do they need security, anyway?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 7
What? No, you know, just--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 8
That's my fish. His name's Jermaine.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 9
Wait, a dog ate a tourist? What? That was ambiguously worded.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 10
If you can't turn that into promo gold, you should honestly consider suicide.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 11
...and, uh, Chet here so... So scoop it into a bowl.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 12
And that's not my name!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 13
...are you maggots not prepping? I-- Wait, are you doing a bumper?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 14
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 15
Cy-- Chet, I need those onions! Yes, chef.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 16
...so I could win some of those x-ray specs?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 17
Oh, eat a dick. That's "Eat a dick, chef."
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 18
Nice. Yes, and that is excellent ABBAB. Always Be Berating and Belittling.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 19
Oh, my God, you admire that dick. He's a master chef, Lana...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 20
Plan. On going over the menu, yes.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 21
- Oh, so now I'm a monkey? - No, because a monkey--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 22
And I also think you might have low blood sugar.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 23
Please don't make me, and B...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 24
I so can't relate to that.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 25
Is that all? You don't want the fricking eyeballs?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 26
Okay, what's the word? How we doing?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 27
They're the-- They're the same thing.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 28
Uh, please don't B and/or B me too hard.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 29
Nice. Man, you should have been a chef. Oh. Pshaw.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 30
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 31
...associated with this physical address.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 32
If, in fact, I heard you correctly.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 33
If you're ever in Red Hook snooping around in random dumpsters.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 34
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 35
Thank you! Hoo-hoo.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 36
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 37
We've got the Albanian ambassador and all his little diplomat buddies.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 38
Hoo-hoo. Teddy. Such a scamp.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 39
And here you are, Mr. Ambassador. I prefer to be called Your Excellency.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 40
So instead of insulting the ambassador, whom we're here to protect--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 41
...I have to eat sheep face. Wait a minute.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 42
Okay, you know what? Excuse me. Yes, tell them all about it.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 43
Then why don't you go help Mincent Price with the--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 44
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 45
Tell Randy, as his final act before I walk back into the kitchen...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 46
...the tender flesh of which I'm now ruining under the broiler...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 47
...the ambassador extraordinary and plenipotentiary of Albania.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 48
Thank you, chef. The dolma, the rakia.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 49
Cyril and/or Chet? No, Cyril and Chet are now vegans.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 7 (S04E07) - 50
Boom! Bumper. I am just killing it today.
Aired 4 years ago - Feb 21, 2013

Archer is bitten by a snake in a "special place".

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 1
Remember when your new episodes are out with TVShow Time for iPhone and Android
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 2
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 3
Uh, meaning odd or strange?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 4
Yes, Lana, clomp, meaning-- I know what clomp means.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 5
Okay' Whereas this one--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 6
...that you are at all suited to a covert mission in Turkmenistan.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 7
...whose dictator changed the words for bread and Friday to his dog's name.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 8
...which is why we're paying Gorbanguly to hinder construction.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 9
I want it officially on record that I am strongly opposed to this mission.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 10
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 11
I am not, ever, sucking your taint.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 12
You can't tourniquet the taint.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 13
[SCREAMING]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 14
What? No, alcohol's a vasodilator.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 15
Here, you baby.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 16
Ray. Damn it, on bionic legs.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 17
[GRUNTING]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 18
If there's any bullets left after I murder both of you.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 19
Then eating a piece...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 20
Yes, I do, and I just did, so come on, I need you in the control room.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 21
I thought I heard self-righteous clomping. Can I help you?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 22
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 23
Just because Lana makes you feel insecure in your masculinity--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 24
No shit, I was bawling my eyes out.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 25
At least you get to bang her.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 26
Well, wait, hang on. Because unless I'm hallucinating...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 27
Okay. Later, gator.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 28
Mr. Archer, I'm afraid I must ask you to cease your insufferable tooting.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 29
Oh, I'm sorry, nor is this heaven.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 30
Would you like to know who Sterling Archer really is?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 31
But there's no way you ever will because you're counting the days...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 32
"because you know this terrible place is the only true love you will ever know.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 33
GILLETTE: Maybe that's his Lorne Greene.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 34
Visiting Baltimore for the weekend...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 35
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 36
Look, seriously-- Whoo!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 37
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING OFF-KEY]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 38
...have profoundly influenced your life'?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 39
Come on, you're all over the road here.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 40
Sounds like a plan, James Mason.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 41
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 42
Well? What did he say?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 43
Oh, God.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 44
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 45
Baksheesh, exactly, but our friend--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 46
What? No, no, no. I mean "yok, yok."
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 47
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 48
How's it the same word for bread and snake and Friday and that damn dog?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 49
Yeah.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 6 (S04E06) - 50
Aired 4 years ago - Feb 14, 2013

Archer's former fiancée calls on him to rescue her cyborg boyfriend from outer space, but he has other things on his mind.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 1
I think she means she'll shove it up your --
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 2
you drank it and then puked it into my trash can!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 3
Remember the ground rules for this?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 4
Ass.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 5
The puppy drowned too.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 6
No, I'm serious, with the cancer, and my possible father dying, and um...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 7
Oh. Duh.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 8
- First of all, Cyril -- - Cheated on you as much as I did, Lana,
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 9
I'm doing this new thing, where now it just rings, drives people crazy.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 10
Your apartment's one level, how do you have a dumbwaiter?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 11
Okay, Lana, check you later.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 12
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 13
Hey, asshole!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 14
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 15
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 16
And I'm sorry if you misunderstood.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 17
Well, I hope she makes you happy.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 18
And only one week after, well, you know, when I left you for him,
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 19
He is on space station?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 20
Buddy, you just sold a timeshare!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 21
If you ever truly loved me, you will help Barry to come home to me.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 22
When Barry gets back she'll realize what a dick he is,
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 23
This is Opposite World!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 24
Walk in on you while you're helping Barry build a rocket!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 25
My penis can only get so erect.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 26
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 27
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 28
Lana, I said no!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 29
- Um, okay, now I just need to find - Cheryl!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 30
I just wanna help you finish your new spaceship, why is that weird?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 31
God, that is just classic Archer!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 32
Not deliberately hurtful!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 33
Oh... different ways.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 34
Oh my God, that phony prospectus must've worked!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 35
Wait, how'd we get to another woman?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 36
Because I will kill him with my bare hands!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 37
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 38
Wait, what hap -- goddammit!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 39
You were the -- holy shit, there really are nerve gas canisters up here!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 40
It's not a frickin tractor!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 41
What's a female... whatever look like?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 42
- A situation, by the way, for which-- I heard you!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 43
Wow, this might actually work.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 44
...have a dart in your neck.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 45
Will you focus?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 46
Pam you better not be making pornos!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 47
Now, the audio's a little rough, ya know, it's from outer space, but --
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 48
Yeah so listen, Katya asked me to call you...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 49
All of 'em? All of --
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 5 (S04E05) - 50
The only thing that hurts is my heart!
Aired 4 years ago - Feb 07, 2013

The beginning of beautiful hatred between Archer and his new stepfather plays out as the two are chased by gangsters.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 1
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 2
I need you to go down to Western Union and wire me a thousand dollars.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 3
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 4
Okay. Okay, let me talk to Lana.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 5
And it's gonna sound like I'm hanging up, but--
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 6
Although not as depressing as Ron. What the hell are you doing here?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 7
But C.H.U.D.'s live in New York, so let's go.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 8
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 9
I meant stop talking about ass-ripping sewer-gators.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 10
I honestly wanna hear your thoughts on getting me across.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 11
...what if they checked you for a gun? You do have a gun, don't you?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 12
Uh-- Never mind, I got it.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 13
[ARCHER COUGHING]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 14
Who hits you? The, uh... Those guys.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 15
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 16
ARCHER: No, no, no, look out, you're--!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 17
Give me a break, huh? That wasn't my fault.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 18
...and the rhinoceros blindly stampedes into a phone booth...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 19
Why is that in the suitcase, Ron?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 20
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 21
Oh, and I'm an idiot.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 22
Maybe between biannual suitcase robberies.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 23
Oh, uh-- Then, yeah, biannually.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 24
Insurance bullshit. Compliments of them democratic queers in Congress.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 25
A small business owner, out here busting his hump to provide for his family.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 26
Ugh. Okay, here's your fur coat from the world's farthest-away cold storage.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 27
I, uh-- Well, yeah, I figured the odds on that were pretty huge.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 28
That was my crew. And, kiddo, we would boost anything on wheels.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 29
So, uh, we revised our business model.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 30
And they all got 20 years, because not one of them...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 31
Plus most of it is from charging poor saps for that freaking undercoating.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 32
Oh, man, wait till the crew hears this.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 33
...on this entire planet of Earth.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 34
That's all behind me. I'm almost completely legit now.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 35
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 36
But my, uh... Stepdad.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 37
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 38
Screw that. Shoot these degenerate pricks.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 39
So it holds a finite number of bullets.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 40
Uh-huh. Then what, they kill me? No. Shut up, that's the awesome part.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 41
Damn it, if only there was a way to slow them down.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 42
Ron, look.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 43
Or he'd release a diss track.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 44
ARCHER: So is this train, asshole!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 45
Okay, now give me your hand. I can't!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 46
No, you hate it that she married anybody, because you want her all to yourself!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 47
ARCHER: You're welcome. Shut up.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 48
Ugh. Okay, try not to ruin it this time.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 49
Why would you wanna teach it to me at all?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 4 (S04E04) - 50
I also don't have time to teach you how to speak hobo.
Aired 4 years ago - Jan 31, 2013

Archer's fear of cyborgs hits home when Krieger offers to make robotic legs for Gillette.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 1
I'm talking about bionics! From the Greek for... like... kickass!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 2
KRIEGER: No, you're not. For one thing, Katya wasn't completely dead.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 3
GILLETTE: So, it's gonna look like I'm leaving?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 4
GILLETTE: I'm assuming you mean "give me the ability to have an erection"?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 5
LANA: Pre-approved by whom?! ARCHER: Oh, now you're on my side.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 6
CYRIL: No?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 7
LANA: Asshole! ARCHER, CYRIL: Ew.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 8
KRIEGER: And so, a small power unit goes here, on your uh,
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 9
KRIEGER: Who cares? Zrrp, they're in the dumpster.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 10
Plus when I'm taking out the old bones I take tons of pictures with my phone.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 11
KRIEGER: No, I mean if, God forbid, the worst happens...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 12
GILLETTE: Wait a minute! KRIEGER: Yeah, where's Carol?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 13
LANA: Cyril?! ARCHER: Is it Halloween already?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 14
ARCHER: In Krieger's lab?! CHERYL/CAROL: Anywhere, duh, it's portable.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 15
CHERYL/CAROL: [ Laughs ]
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 16
GILLETTE: What could possibly, go, wrrngzzzzzz.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 17
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 18
But he won't be for long if you don't clamp that artery!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 19
RON: That's, yes, exactly, that's why you need a nice long relaxing cruise!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 20
ARCHER: Um, investigating a ballistic anomaly.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 21
ARCHER: Which reminds me, Grover Cleveland called, he wants his watch back.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 22
C'mon, this is awesome, it's like we're the Warren Commission.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 23
ARCHER: "Whom!" LANA: Archer!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 24
I don't think, so he must've meant... well, no, aren't terminators asexual?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 25
Get a hold of yourself! PAM: Sorry.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 26
MALORY: Since when?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 27
RON: Because I spent thirty years building the business so I don't have to be!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 28
MALORY: Ron this isn't a car dealership, it's... RON: The same principle!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 29
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 30
That'll hold way more Hispanics and lawnmowers.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 31
CYRIL: And Archer, obviously... LANA: Would rather see Ray dead!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 32
MALORY: But... what could have caused this?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 33
MALORY: Oh! Well then I'll just get my coat.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 34
LANA: Yeah I know, are you cyborging Ray?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 35
RODNEY: One RPG-7 launcher and two grenades.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 36
LANA: We may have sort of a, uh, situation.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 37
RON: Reminds me of the head mechanic at my dealership in Yonkers.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 38
CYRIL: Well calling the airport's not gonna help.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 39
You were saying? ARCHER: I... shit.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 40
ARCHER: Oh my... I basically just lurch from one fireable offense to the next!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 41
Because I bet it would open the door.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 42
My God, what they did to that pig... BRETT: Heeelp...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 43
ARCHER: Mawp.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 44
CYRIL: Why is your instinctive response to run toward explosions?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 45
CHERYL/CAROL:... permanent damage to my earballs because you're too
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 46
ARCHER: I don't... CHERYL/CAROL: Tease.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 47
ARCHER: That's even creepier. So are you gonna open the damn door?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 48
So now if you'll excuse me... I have an entire human race to save.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 49
So Rodneeeeeey... Tease!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 3 (S04E03) - 50
CYRIL: Are you calling the airport again? LANA: Cyril shut your goddamn mouth!
Aired 4 years ago - Jan 24, 2013

Archer and his former best friend are holed up in the Vermont wilderness, fighting hard to come out on top.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 1
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 2
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 3
Nooo!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 4
Hey stupid, here's your fake uranium, click, handcuffs, drops mic on stage.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 5
And when the smoke had cleared, four ODIN agents were dead, and
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 6
That maybe there's a fox in the henhouse?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 7
Lana, he obviously bailed out and -- And then...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 8
Yes, Sterling, I'm -- actually no, I'm not sorry.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 9
the name of an American hero.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 10
Oh, or a credit card!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 11
Dude, what, it was just the tip!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 12
Exactly, because he's a frickin lemur!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 13
Doo doo doo doo dooooo...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 14
Oh, some wacky new thing the kids are doing, called inventory control?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 15
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 16
No I am not.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 17
two each arctic camouflage parka and pant, and, doo doo doo doooo,
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 18
Dude, bros before... apparent threats to national security.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 19
Nice!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 20
The doohickey says he's about thirty minutes away.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 21
Oh. These are all "Strongly Disagree."
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 22
No, seriously, if anybody finds out I helped you I'll be disavowed.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 23
But it has tons of potential.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 24
Seriously?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 25
Come on, we're going on foot, through the woods.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 26
Eight fireplaces, dude, how nuts is that?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 27
- I mean it's all fake, obviously, but... - Exactly!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 28
Hopefully that's just neurological damage from scraping lead paint...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 29
And my situation, is anyone who could hurt me thinks I'm already dead.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 30
Is that a thing?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 31
Because how about a textile?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 32
Why is Lana Kane -- and is that the geeky little accountant dude?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 33
No, Archer, I thought I had-- No, yeah, you did.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 34
had hot dinners, but... There's just something about you.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 35
No, literally.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 36
- You dick... - To fund our life together, dude!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 37
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 38
Well, but you don't.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 39
So why are these damn peer reviews so hard?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 40
What about intentionally shot at?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 41
I'd be -- Luuuuke!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 42
Just your jacket, c'mon, I'm freezing!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 43
Shitass!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 44
Which, ya know, lame.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 45
You left your gun in a pile of clothes!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 46
Unless... Wait, no, get it out of your head.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 47
It's about twenty miles north of Bennington, so I assume it's a B&B.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 48
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 49
Lana?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 2 (S04E02) - 50
So as much as I'd like to, I don't think now's an optimal time for that.
Aired 4 years ago - Jan 17, 2013

Archer, I mean Bob, has amnesia and decides the only cure is a spa weekend.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 1
so you better break out the purple stuff.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 2
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 3
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 4
Ostrich. Shut up, they're good.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 5
The KGB hit squad...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 6
He wandered in there in full morning dress 2 months ago, they got married,
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 7
Psychogenic retrograde amnesia.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 8
against a sudden and quite possibly violent confrontation with his mother.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 9
Damn it, Krieger, did you drug me?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 10
Well, some people use baby powder.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 11
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 12
My face isn't a naturally villainous like yours, so...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 13
Ugh, now damsel up and get over there.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 14
Uh, or an ostrich.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 15
Don't even think about screwing up our plan to cure Sterling's amnesia.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 16
Yes. No.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 17
It's dangerous, and you're married.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 18
From the Shazam/Isis Hour TV show?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 19
And KGB agents are trying to kill me.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 20
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 21
danger zo - oh my God!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 22
GILLETTE: How bout a bullet?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 23
LANA: Uh, well -- KRIEGER: Remember, ease him into it!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 24
Oh, and plus I'm a total badass at hand-to-hand combat?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 25
Hiiiiii -- ARCHER: Ya.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 26
Specifically these two.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 27
Alright you two, you're on.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 28
PAM: The hatred.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 29
LANA: That was weird, and also not a real kiss, and also never happening again.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 30
Alter-ego of She-Hulk, what.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 31
very slowly and -- KGB AGENT: Drup your weapons!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 32
ARCHER: How do you not remember that show?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 33
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 34
LANA: Oh for -- if I'm KGB why is the KGB shooting at me?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 35
MALORY: Well, you're in charge here.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 36
And speaking of drinks... LANA: These aren't to drink, dumbass!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 37
CYRIL: Burn... Inappropriate, suppressing fiiiiiire!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 38
ARCHER: Oh. Duh.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 39
KGB AGENT: Zahodi s boku!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 40
ARCHER: Well however you pronounce it!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 41
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 42
PAM: You hypocrite cooze, I just watched you eat a whole bag of
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 43
JULIO: Multinational Hotels Incorporated?!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 44
Throwing bottle bombs, your tits flopping around...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 45
ARCHER: You're my wife! Linda!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 46
ARCHER: Yes, down to the store for cheese!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 47
Wait, are you... you?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 48
KGB armed with a frickin cap gun!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 49
I'll make you wish they never scraped you out of Hitler's drawers.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 4 Episode 1 (S04E01) - 50
Oh my God, it's all coming back to me now...