Status
Continuing
Next episode
TBA
Airs
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXX
SEASON
EPISODE

Action, Adventure, Animation, Comedy
Original name: Archer

DESCRIPTION

Sterling Archer is the world's most daunting spy. He works for ISIS, a spy agency run by his mother. In between dealing with his boss and his co-workers - one of whom is his ex-girlfriend - Archer manages to annoy or seduce everyone that crosses his path. His antics are only excusable because at the end of the day, he still somehow always manages to thwart whatever crises was threatening mankind.

Season 1

Aired 7 years ago - Mar 18, 2010

Questions about the identity of Archer's real father lead him into a perilous trap... and an explosive confrontation with Malory.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 1
...then I'll try to hit gym, so... - The gym. That'll be the day.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 2
the head of the KGB, have a direct line to your office?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 3
What?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 4
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 5
Oh, you gonna run cry to Ms. Archer, like when Cyril cheated on you?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 6
But I already have a father. His name was John Fitzgerald Archer.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 7
- Lf we miss that train I will go blind. Fire.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 8
Tell a 3-year-old his father might be in the KGB?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 9
- And I can explain that. - Well if you'd let me.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 10
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- Nobody would ever know. - Pam? Yeah.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 12
Len Trexler or Buddy Rich?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 13
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 14
Vole is also rodent, but more closer related to lemming.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 15
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- A tur...? Listen, you kraut puke. - Hello.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 17
Nein, major, not you. Yeah, listening.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 18
- I forgot where I put it. - Huge surprise.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 19
Maybe. Or you, maybe, or...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 20
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 21
and anybody else, Rambone? - No.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 22
Boy, you are just so determined not to be cool about this.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 23
Oh, you don't wanna be here...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 24
please line up and take a number.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 25
- Here's the door. - Help. Please help me.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 26
- Well, that was a huge waste of time. - I said don't take your clothes off.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 27
- That's me! Move, dude. - Animals.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 28
- But you're gay. - Girl, please. Nobody's that gay.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 29
Which you're gonna need after the jillion high-fives...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 30
Hey, seriously, kidnappers...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 31
And then they can control his brain.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 32
I will let him or her give me a handy. Ugh.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 33
Hey, seriously.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 34
I drill hole in head of man who maybe is my son.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 35
When it is in small window just over the target...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 36
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Hello? Ha! - Sterling? Sterling, listen very... Wha...?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 38
- Oh, God, sorry. Sorry. - Ahh...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 39
I am so disgusted with you right now I just wanna vomit.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 40
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 41
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 42
Mother.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 43
then they all know that none of them had sex with you.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 44
- I just hope Cyril don't, like, snap. - Cyril? Snap?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 45
Minus my sixty bucks.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 46
Nothing. I'm a desirable...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 47
- But you cannot say a word. - I won't tell anybody.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 48
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Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 10 (S01E10) - 50
Oh, for God's sake.
Aired 7 years ago - Mar 11, 2010

When Archer takes a higher-paying job at rival agency ODIN, Malory will stop at nothing to get him back.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 1
So I don't play by the rules, Mother, but I get results!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 2
- O-N. Nothing. - Well, just keep at it.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 3
Using a mirror to reflect the laser beam back into the laser?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 4
What's to appreciate?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 5
Uh... Wait, what just happened here?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 6
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Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 8
I'm gonna pain you dearly, Woodhouse!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 9
Yes, it's Sterling Archer... Oh. Yes, I'll hold!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 10
- Love her, yeah. When does she start? - Right?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 11
- I'm sorry, how's the leg? - Hurts when it rains.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 12
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- He hasn't called, has he? - No. How you holding up, Mama Bird?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 14
You bust in, shoot two good double agents...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 15
and 16 titanium screws couldn't fix. - Come on, don't be shitty.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 16
No, you silly man. About the job.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 17
Because this is a huge opportunity for me...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 18
Um, okay.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 19
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 20
and forgot to give my new address to his stupid boarding school.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 21
- My God. On Christmas? - Well, Christmas Eve, technically.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 22
- Yeah, I think I do. - It's resistant to stains.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 23
ODIN isn't some co-ed freshman dorm where everyone runs around screwing.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 24
Yeah, and the, uh, famille thing actually makes this borderline creepy.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 25
so I took time out of my busy mincing schedule...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 26
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- He said do not come in. - Yeah, Barry.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 28
- Have you lost your mind? - Every time I see you.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 29
- Man, she loved that dog... - "Who is to be considered...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 30
and I don't know if you knew this, but Framboise and I were...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 31
- She was obviously into him. Mother... - Ass.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 32
- Can you do that? - Oh, my God.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 33
dozing off in first class, then seeing you on my flight when I get up to pee!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 34
- In, like, Bangkok. - Ahem.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 35
- So wait, where are we on that shower? - Head on back up to your office.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 36
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- That would be you. - What?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 38
- Easy, tough guy. - I don't remember any of that.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 39
- Well, don't just sit there. Undo this. - Ooh.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 40
Go staple my heart back together!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 41
Wait, wait, wait, Lana.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 42
Oh, my God. I liked her better mean.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 43
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- So Archer's still here? - Yeah, he's in that corner office.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 45
and maybe, if you stand on those tiptoes, your huge apartment.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 46
- Knock yourself out. - These servants, if I did see them...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 47
Barry, does this make up for Framboise?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 48
- No. - I'm pretty sure I'm financially...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 49
We've got about two minutes before some ODIN dick sees this and seals the exits.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 50
Too dead inside to read good news?
Aired 7 years ago - Mar 04, 2010

After ISIS loses yet another lucrative contract to rival agency ODIN, Malory assigns Archer and Lana to embarrass ODIN by stealing a priceless diamond from their biggest client.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 1
- The important thing is, they're loaded. - Just shitfaced.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 2
Not. Another. Word.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 3
Um...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 4
Wow. I am incredibly sorry.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 5
And now not only are you hiring another agency...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 6
- Uh, skipper, if I could jump in here. - Trexler.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 7
- Getting ISIS blacklisted at the UN? - Had nothing to do with that.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 8
- You said it was the nose of a Caesar. - Ehh...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 9
- You wanna play me hard? - Phrasing.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 10
Commence Operation "Rub Len Trexler's Big Fat Nose In It."
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 11
you wanna sprinkle on the bacon bits of "Let's tell them we're coming"?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 12
So this time I need you to not be your normal...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 13
- And have I blabbed about you and Cheryl? - She keeps seducing me.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 14
I'm head of HR, Cyril, I know your take-home.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 15
- Wow. - I'm sorry, you were saying?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 16
and scream, "Look at those babies, old man.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 17
Oh, wait. Cheryl? Cheryl.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 18
- Okay. - But maybe we overlooked an air shaft...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 19
- What, are you just hitting random keys? - Well, obviously.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 20
I gotta live with a roommate. In Queens.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 21
You sure, missus? Is plenty space.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 22
What's sad is now nobody re-stocks the machine in the bathroom...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 23
Listen to your hearts. Because deep down...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 24
- And me. - Really?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 25
- She's not in here. - Well, why are you in here?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 26
Not to mention my rapidly-approaching- room-temperature Cobb salad, so...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 27
- How? Nobody knows why we're striking. - Well, we can't say "Hey, right upstairs...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 28
And Pam, Krieger, Carol. All the...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 29
- Just me, me, me. - Jesus, whose kid died?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 30
Lousy commies! Go back to Quebec!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 31
Oh, baby. What happened to you?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 32
Even though you totally depend on us.
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- Bonuses? - Dump her, Cyril.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 34
- So just how vital is it? It's incredibly vital.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 35
- Hey, whoa. - Stop surging.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 36
I'm saving Lana. As usual. Hey, shut up.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 37
- The tactical turtleneck, Lana. - Archer.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 38
- Do we take the drones for granted? - No. No, no, Lana.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 39
- Or else he'll crank up the heat again. I love...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 40
Well, I'm not. Do your worst, Krieger.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 41
Ha! I'll outlast you. I'm naked and I've got half a lime...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 42
- You've got nothing! - No code-cloner, no GPS. Argh!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 43
Just watched Deliverance again, huh?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 44
Intruders. Get them.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 45
Jesus. Quit bouncing my eyes.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 46
Yes. - Well, I can arrange that.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 47
We're taking heavy fire and we need an extraction, dumb-ass!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 48
Uh, we need the sat-com link to do that.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 49
Lana! - Will somebody please do something?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 50
Helo's 10-4, just needs you to upload their GPS coordinates...
Aired 7 years ago - Feb 18, 2010

When a bomb threat jeopardizes the maiden voyage of the luxury airship Excelsior, Archer and the ISIS crew must battle the clock (and each other) to avert disaster.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 1
Terrible, awful, just gut-wrenchingly bad feeling about this.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 2
Since it's all drawers under here, because look how tiny this room is!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 3
Disembark, Cyril. We're about to...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 4
Oh. Well then, make me a double Campari and, uh...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 5
That, what's her name, Beekman? I bet she's just sick she got bumped.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 6
He and I were both up for command of the Excelsior, but...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 7
- I lied! - What?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 8
Rug-burny events. - Oh, my God!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 9
Even a hint of a problem on our maiden voyage...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 10
Don't be snotty. And Sterling, if there is a bomb...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 11
Although this is a non-smoking area, sir.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 12
That's called profiling, Mother, and I don't do it.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 13
- Sterling, are you joking? - The crossing takes 24 hours.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 14
As long as nothing goes wrong on this flight.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 15
Or C, maybe I just jam this mop...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 16
Yeah, until she tags me in!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 17
Oh, Pamela. You read me like a poem.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 18
Cyril's already freaked out enough about us sharing this shoebox...
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- Well, that's fine by me. - Cyril, wait.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 21
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There! Go buy a nicotine patch!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 23
Archer. Ha. Sterling Archer.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 24
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She's not gonna be happy about that. Um...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 26
I'm just saying! You're driving Cyril straight toward another woman.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 27
And making it hard to drop a deuce.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 28
- You people are just ruining my trip. Uh...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 29
Check the Kaiser Wilhelm suite.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 30
What gave it away, my mother's...? Why are you wearing my mother's robe?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 31
Lana is waiting for you. - Really? Where?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 32
Two... Well, three times, I guess, if a dry-humpy choker counts.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 33
- Oh, why? - Hello!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 34
but so then this one starts freaking out, and long story short...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 35
Running around all up and down this stupid blimp.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 36
Ugh.
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- So, yes, I made a phony bomb threat. - Good for you.
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Oh, and Lana, maybe you ought to grab the Kraut. He's the bomber.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 40
Saving a Jewish girl from a gang of skinheads.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 41
We're at you just shot the guy who could disarm the bomb, jackass!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 42
- Well, guess what! - Um, it didn't?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 43
- See? It's that kinda selfish shit... - Lana, no! You'll kill us all!
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No, actually lacrosse camp. If that helps.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 45
- I see your knockoff Fiacci drawers. - Ha-ha. You are such a bitch.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 46
Got it? - Yeah, I see it! Ready?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 47
it's niner three four, Tango, X-ray, Sierra!
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- Yeah, and both are identical! - No! They're not!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 49
You said the letters after the dash were Oscar Kilo!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 50
Aired 7 years ago - Feb 11, 2010

Archer must rescue Lana from the clutches of Skorpio, the infamous arms dealer. Meanwhile, Cyril fears not only for his girlfriend's life, but her succumbing to the seductive nature of Archer's heroics.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 1
Oh, so close.
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- But even though Cyril may be clingy... - Oh. Saran Wrap could take a lesson.
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My point is, dear, you can trust Cyril.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 4
It better be, Mr. Sex-Tape.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 5
Fort Kickass. - Ugh! Mr. Archer, you could help.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 6
Yes, Nikolai, you certainly did...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 7
- Pam, I will hit you in the face. - Aha-ha-ow!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 8
Worst-case scenario, her cover got blown...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 9
I don't. And if you will recall...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 10
The night before you break my heart, and disappear for nine months.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 11
That wasn't me, you idiot.
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Hello. Mother. What? Really?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 13
- Oh, my God. - Yes, yes, I remember.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 14
What...? Not the vasectomy, the rescue.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 15
and she begs me to take her back, so then Cyril commits suicide."
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 16
Come on. I bet Mr. Archer already went all double-oh-ninja on Skorpio's ass.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 17
- Wait a minute. - Yeah, hang on, crazy pants.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 18
Damn it, look what you... Shouldn't you be off cooking a rabbit somewhere?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 19
Well, that's too bad, Mr. Man. Now, you just put Lana on the phone.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 20
Archer? Hello? He hung up.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 21
And that's the reason I don't have sex with my co-workers.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 22
Is just fat dripping from kebabs.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 23
Da, but is a little unprofessional.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 24
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 25
It's a mega-yacht. And I just...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 26
- Jesus. You are so irresponsible. - Oh, really? Go ask Pita who's irresponsible.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 27
of the USS Rough Service?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 28
really need some me time before I have to go back to Cyril and his whole...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 29
- Even you wouldn't stoop that low. - Lana, come on...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 30
I want to leave, please. Right now.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 31
Because in one hour, the world's most dangerous terrorists...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 32
different. - Oh!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 33
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 34
Bartleby, the Scrivener? Anybody?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 35
- I don't even remember. Exactly. So...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 36
I bet they're fighting for their lives.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 37
- Um, got anything a little stronger? - Or way stronger. Like poison?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 38
- All right, you heard Mr. Skorpio. - No, just Skorpio.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 39
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 40
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 41
Every single noun and verb in that sentence totally arouses me.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 42
life-insurance policy, and...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 43
Oh, right. Because you walked into Strippers' Discount Warehouse...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 44
Yes, you're my beneficiary.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 45
- Ouch. - But that means... Oh, my God.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 46
I guess I was busy fantasizing about Archer and Lana having intercourse!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 47
So when you filled out your insurance, you weren't thinking about my muscular arms...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 48
No, they're... Oh, my God, they're green.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 49
Cyril? Cyril, come on. Let go.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 50
Aired 7 years ago - Feb 04, 2010

Malory's career is threatened when a sensitive videotape falls into the hands of a rogue (and roguish) Cuban agent, so she calls on Archer’s expertise in seduction to turn the tables on her blackmailer.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 1
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 2
- Yes. Yes. Yes! - No. No. Come on.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 3
Sterling, please, I need your help.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 4
Sir, that stolen lemur bit one of your prostitutes right in the face...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 5
Ew, kill. Bang.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 6
That's what I said. If you go through the whole list...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 7
Yup, we've got video and audio...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 8
It's a safe bet he'd have Ramón killed if he ever found out he was gay.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 9
- Bang. Uh, kill, I guess. - Thanks a lot.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 10
Well if you do, I've developed a proprietary chemical compound...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 11
Suit yourself. Just means more for me and Danny.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 12
And he's actually quite handsome.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 13
Seriously, that's like Eggs 101, Woodhouse.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 14
- Nikolai. - Free Stolichnaya, Beluga caviar.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 15
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 16
- Ahem. Can I help you? - I don't know. Can you?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 17
Do you not see me rocking this chiseled slab of hard man-body?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 18
- Are you kidding? - Oh my God, you, like, sneeze glitter.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 19
I can't believe you blab that you're a secret agent.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 20
So this spy agency, is it, like, the real CIA "James Bondy" deal, or what?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 21
Okay, kill. Bang. Bang.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 22
- My pleasure. - I wanna dress you up like a little gnome...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 23
Uh, duh and or hello.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 24
Oh. Yeah, that makes more sense. So I just like, what? Approach him in a bar?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 25
Dios mío. Is your ego so large...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 26
Seriously Woodhouse, how can you be so totally awesome and not be gay?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 27
- Hugo Boss. - Shut up.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 28
And what the hell are you wearing, Woodhouse?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 29
... into having anonymous sex?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 30
Get me some video of hot man-on-man action by tonight...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 31
Out-macho a gay guy? Oh, my stars.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 32
Doesn't it?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 33
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 34
we go to your place and have, you know...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 35
- Jesus, is this made of limestone? - It's a dangerous game.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 36
That's what you're gonna be saying when I'm, uh, all...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 37
Sterling Archer of ISIS.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 38
Agent Sterling Archer of ISIS. - Wait, you know who I am?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 39
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 40
- Here, try it. - No. Whoa, whoa.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 41
- Holy shit, was that out loud? - It's okay. This is a safe place.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 42
Kill. Kill. God, when do I get to the end so I can see what Cyril said?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 43
and the last sensation that you feel before you die...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 44
- Jesus Christ. - I know, right?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 45
I have to work with. - You haven't banged half of them...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 46
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 47
- Ceviche is already cold. - I know.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 48
- So are you two even really gay? - As big old tangerines, yes.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 49
- Let the mummy talk. - I can't let you do this.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 50
Me? Your mother started all of this.
Aired 7 years ago - Jan 28, 2010

Malory hosts a dinner party for the UN intelligence chairman, Torvald Utne, in an effort to get a new weapons contract for ISIS. Unfortunately, a group of rival assassins have targeted Mr. Utne for elimination.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 1
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 2
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 3
Why? Only I will have real bullets.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 4
You're only here because I may need you to take one for the team.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 5
Torvald, feel free to cup anything in the room.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 6
Which is why you should consider ISIS for the UN contract.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 7
Nothing but too much enthusiasm for the opportunity to serve the UN.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 8
- Hello. - You're late.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 9
Why are you here? - Actually sir, I'm with Carina.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 10
Regale him with exciting tales of ISIS exploits.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 11
- Oh, for... Torvald. - Bet you get that a lot, huh, Torvie?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 12
I don't even know how you got out, Woodhouse.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 13
she probably never had time to learn to drive.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 14
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 15
But what I have seen...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 16
He's a fully-integrated multi-fetish artificial being.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 17
Willing to do whatever it takes.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 18
What about Trinette? She said that?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 19
Mm. You could say that, yes.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 20
There is plenty of fishiness going on at ISIS without your balls.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 21
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 22
Mani, do something. Utne is leaving.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 23
Now, good night, and good...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 24
- I am Torvald... - Utne, I know.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 25
- Whoa. Wait a minute. Hey, Utne. Utne! - Would you shut up?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 26
Oh, that Russian prick. He sent two teams again.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 27
- Coming right out. - Hurry it up. All I've had today is, like...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 28
But if he's on the plan of Frau Archer...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 29
Really? A European lingerie model.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 30
- No, in this case it would be pascals. - Ugh. Hey, Europe, be gayer.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 31
But keep them limbered up. I have a big surprise planned for dinner...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 32
I would like I think that very much.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 33
Keep her out of the medicine cabinet.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 34
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 35
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 36
- Why? - I think there's, like, a racial component.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 37
- Are you lazy Huns ready, or what? Oh. Ha, ha. Hello, yep.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 38
Why are you so immature?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 39
do something bad to your bones.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 40
God, that is just...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 41
- Wow. Forgot how much I hated that. - Oh, that's right.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 42
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 43
- Torvald, a toast? - Sure, go crazy.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 44
- Oh, Uta. - What? I am pretty sure.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 45
Yes, and I am tempted to give ISIS the UN contract, Malory.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 46
That's the wrong plate, Uta.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 47
I will tear you down brick by perfidious brick.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 48
that exact moment to explode outwards. - What?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 49
Because I think you have some serious and unresolved issues with your father.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 50
Aired 7 years ago - Jan 21, 2010

Owing to a rash of agent deaths (the result of Sterling's carelessness), ISIS can't meet government diversity standards. Enter the gruffly elegant Conway Stern, an "onyx" agent who wears a Star of David around his neck. Conway is "a diversity double whammy," gushes Malory, but that and his secret-agent skills aren't the only reasons she hired him.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 1
Yeah, I am kind of lovely.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 2
Wait, you don't think you're getting the office.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 3
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 4
Well, I'll leave you to it. But if you need anything...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 5
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 6
Yeah, so, let's go on...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 7
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 8
And what, you need more room to chop vegetables?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 9
- Salsa was a highly complex operation. - Two phone calls.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 10
I am the top agent around here.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 11
He just came up to me and was like: "Byoop!"
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 12
Oh, shit! Those were the newsletters!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 13
so I need you to hook a sister up. - Well, I will certainly try.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 14
What are you doing? - Uh, none of your businessing.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 15
because we actually agree on something. - Wait, really?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 16
No! Glossing.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 17
- Oh, my God! Get over yourself! - Hey, I am over me.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 18
- Conway! - Now, whom can I thank for these shrimps?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 19
The system bounced your sexual harassment complaint against Conway.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 20
- You get any of that in the trash can? - No.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 21
Well, that's the thing. How did you actually find Conway?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 22
Lana Kane! Just because now you're not the only black agent...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 23
But that never stopped J. Edna Hoover from persecuting Martin Luther King...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 24
- Think about that while on suspension. - While I'm on what?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 25
homeboy McJewerson. - Whoa, Lana, honey.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 26
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 27
- Yeah, she's kind of weird that way. - She's kind of weird a bunch of ways.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 28
- Excuse me? - Oh, my God, why are you still here?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 29
but we've got a problem. - A problem or a blessing?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 30
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 31
And all we need is a stand-in, who resembles Schmeck's Cuban contact...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 32
we slip in just ahead of the real Cubans, capture Schmeck, and recover the plans.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 33
You were there, in the condo, together?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 34
You go! Get on the plane, buckle in, sit there...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 35
Lana, maybe when I get back, we can work out some kind of bang-buddy deal, but...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 36
and cut me out of the will. - Ugh. Archer.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 37
Seriously Lana, call Kenny Loggins because you're in the Danger Zone.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 38
She never shares anything with anybody.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 39
- Ninety-gazillion percent of the time. - Just because the glare is annoying?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 40
I'd rather have it and not need it... - Uh-huh.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 41
You are more handsome in your photos.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 42
You may have them once I confirm the balance in my Swiss account.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 43
- It's already too late. - Ha, ha! Yes it is, now hand over...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 44
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 45
What, Conway? No!
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 46
Hey, you know what? Water under the bridge, dude.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 47
- Conway? - Yeah, buddy.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 48
The Chinese'll pay five times as much for the Whisper Drive.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 49
Wait, what? That is your only question?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 50
That would have been a though image to get out of my head.
Aired 7 years ago - Jan 14, 2010

Lana's residual lust for Archer prompts Malory to promote Cyril to field agent. Archer then trains his new competition as only he can, whilst Malory frets over her own past and her son's future.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 1
We should make you into someone for whom Lana's loins get equally frothy.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 2
He's already been briefed.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 3
I'll take care of whatever that is.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 4
And it's not broadening Cyril's horizons.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 5
Seriously, Krieger, you are my Oprah.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 6
- You gave Lana herpes? Ahem.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 7
- Lesson one, get used to that. - Should I be writing this down?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 8
And the cartridge is full of a deadly super-toxin called...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 9
It's all the HSA switchover crap.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 10
- "Mr. Archer" was the "whom." - Worlds collide, huh?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 11
Hey. Inappropriate workplace topic.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 12
which one of you idiots sent up zucchini?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 13
That is Pam, isn't it?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 14
almost all of it, but...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 15
That we're on our way down to clear up with Jane.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 16
You getting a snack?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 17
- Yeah, it was pretty cool. - Will I get to learn karate?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 18
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 19
Like so many other geniuses, unappreciated in his life...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 20
- .25 caliber. - When would you use an underwear-gun?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 21
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 22
Oh. Yeah, I guess that could happen.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 23
You just rest, Ms. Archer. We'll take care of these DD-14s for you.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 24
It totally should be. Look at this.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 25
Scatterbrain Jane, but let me just tell you, okay?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 26
a pen store. And yet...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 27
- I really do. - Okay.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 28
- Okay. - And that wasn't all gun, neither.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 29
then your trained field agent eyes spot two threats.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 30
just the pad. Then you see the second threat.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 31
Tango, tango, tango. Scan the ballroom of the Cuban embassy...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 32
- Whoa. - Way to go, baby. You hit it.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 33
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 34
What the hell's in your freaking pocket?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 35
I know I misheard you about Jane, because turns out, I ran into her.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 36
When they're dead they're just hookers.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 37
Now he's fetching a rug. Happy, Cyril?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 38
Oh, God. I should never have agreed to this.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 39
Now let's go bury this dead hooker.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 40
I know, right? So here let's make the co-pay zero, and the deductible...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 41
You are a bitch.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 42
And that does not for a young boy a very merry Christmas make.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 43
- Oh, my God. - I know, right?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 44
To who, Cyril? The cops? Lana?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 45
and named it this exact situation.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 46
Exactly. And I'm gonna file a hostile work environment lawsuit...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 47
Oh, my God. How about now, Cyril?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 48
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 49
- That's because no one likes you. - What?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 50
I am the best at this, Rain Man, okay? I'm like...
Aired 7 years ago - Sep 17, 2009

Archer is in trouble with his Mother and the Comptroller because his expense account is way out of proportion to his actual expenses. So he creates the idea that a Mole has breached ISIS and he needs to get into the mainframe to hunt him down (so he can cover his tracks!). All this leads to a surprising ending.

Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 1
But you promised me breakfast.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 2
but you were quite insistent... - What was I?
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- But I'm not to be trusted, am I? - No, sir.
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Coarse.
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Besides the fact that now both of our shirts reek of curry.
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[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGES]
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God, it's like my brain's that tree, and you're those little cookie elves.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 9
And while you're not ever speaking to me, jump up your own ass and die.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 10
in your account. - No, Cyril.
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Not you, giant African man. I'm sorry. Can I offer you a drink?
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Of course, because if Pam knows, then everybody knows...
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 13
Classic misdirection.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 14
Did you see Brian's Song? Same thing pretty much happened.
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What are you doing?
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 17
where the German desk says you never checked in.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 18
It doesn't exist just so you can jet off to Whore Island.
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Have I made myself clear?
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- Oh, God, sorry. MAN: Goddamn it, Archer.
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- Well... - That's why. So we don't get ants.
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Oh, good. You caught the... Oh, wait I had something for this.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 24
After how you treated me?
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um, conducting a mole hunt.
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Lana. Hey, I know I'm supposed to be up my own ass right now but...
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- I always make Lana stir-fry on Friday. - Neat. Listen...
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Oh, yeah, Pam mentioned that.
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Think what that would do to me if we had to kill her...
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I guess you'd have to break in.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 31
Only two means of ingress.
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... and somehow made it into ISIS headquarters...
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- Ooh. That would make me uncomfortable. - Yeah.
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I'm just a secretary.
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- Are you gonna pay for your lunch? - Just the tip.
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ARCHER: So thanks for nothing, Carol.
Recap of Archer (2009) Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 38
Wow, that was actually pretty easy. Thanks, new turtleneck.
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Okay. I've got to go.
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- I know I have trust issues, all right? - But it's...
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- And here we are. All fine. - Cyril, come on, hon, please?
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CYRIL [ON RECORDING]: Cyril Figgis.
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It can't be. Jesus Christ, that is just Baby Town frolics.
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These are all black.
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Oh, Krenshaw.
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- Is that sound...? Is that Jewish? - It's Russian.
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- Double irony. - I'll need 50,000 for travel expenses.
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[GRUNTING]
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- Baby crazy? - That's why I dumped her.