Cougar Town

After discovering that Chick has health issues, the gang decides to take him to Hollywood. Once there, they'll stop at nothing to arrange for him to spend an evening with one his favorite stars, Tippi Hedren. Meanwhile, Laurie and Travis try carefully to set up the perfect first kiss. And Andy is upset to discover that no one recognizes him as Latino. MORE -LESS

So, I say, "For you... always."

Riggs didn't come, so I didn't bother to get my own room.

Nothing. We're on vacation.

Javier. Que pasa, brother?

_

and you saw me walking down the street, what would you think I was?

unless you like ice-cold water that smells like a porta-potty.

Aww, that's so sweet.

Yeah-- "lettuce, guacamole, bacon, tomato."

Hola, amigo. Que pasa?

hassling German tourists for money.

How come I don't feel like more of a third wheel?

A psychic once told my foster dad that she'd tell him his fate

I met your grandmother 50 years ago on a train.

One year later, I'm in a diner in the middle of nowhere

That was fate.

Had Wesley Snipes over for Thanksgiving once.

All right. Let's do this.

Well, Tippi wasn't there, but my naked breasts

- Yes. - Yeah. 100%.

Hedren lived here from 1971 until the fall of 1971.

- Ooh! - Ooh.

Whoa!

I mean, it's-- it's crossed my mind, yeah, but...

Stop, drop, and roll!

Everybody has keys. It's your life now.

in this smog-hole looking for some actress?

You know, this morning, he made some joke

and I want to tell him I love him.

No.

I mean, who the hell puts 80 characters on a show?

They broke up. Something about fate.

Okay, well, how are we supposed to find Tippi Hedren?

I'm first-generation Cuban, and I don't speak Spanish.

Oh, sure, sure.

Right now, I need you to remember that little Cuban boy

Javier.

I will help.

"I know Tippi.

I know. I can solve this with my acting.

I'm here to check the gas meter. I'm Joe Braesole.

Well, of course I do, June-bug.

Let him out.

I don't know.

Chick comes to housesit while the gang goes on vacation. But when Jules discovers that her father hasn't been to the doctor in years, she insists on taking him. Laurie and Travis go on their first date as boyfriend and girlfriend. And Bobby is crushed to discover that Dog Travis is just using him for food.

Someone in a funk, they need to be "slapped out of it."

- That makes sense. - It doesn't.

Oh, yeah, my girl can party!

they could have caught it.

- Right, sweetie? - There's just so much I should have told him.

I'm on autotrader.com.

Why do you want a car? What's wrong with your golf cart?

They spelled "kennel" wrong.

♪ Hee hee ♪

Yeah, we'll try to make the best of it.

Dad, someone really close to Anne just recently passed away.

that you went to the doctor and got checked out?

Like me in my hat or my boy band, yeah.

Mm.

- Ohh! - For Lou.

Why? All my parts are still working.

keep on whistling past the graveyard.

We're gonna get him to the doctor before we leave,

How was your first time as lovers?

You two are having fun, aren't you?

to being "eee-eee, slappidy, slappidy, honk, honk" friends.

Doomed as lovers.

because the Bahamas are gonna be awesome!

- Anyway, Dog Trav can be tough to connect with. - Dogs love me.

Oh, a bikini contest!

I don't know how much the tickets are,

Yes, you've made me dumber. Congratulations.

And this is coming from someone who just made up,

Dad, wait! I have treats!

I think I'd rather show you.

you know this a nightmare.

And I just now, this moment, am realizing how creepy this is.

You know, maybe, um...

And then I would notice all your weird roommates staring at us.

And I need to stop betraying my mom with my silence.

Call your dog.

Who held your paw when they took your nuts?

and we haven't even packed yet.

Soup.

Hello, Chair.

- Did Grayson ask you to tend bar while he's gone? - No.

My best friend in the world only cares about his own needs, man.

Should I describe the time I walked in

Let's just get this over with. Check me out, sawbones.

I told you they'd find something.

Inspired by "The Breakfast Club," the Cul-De-Sac Crew offers insight into their innermost thoughts through voice-overs. Grayson is crushed after discovering some harsh reviews on Yelp. And Jules goes to extremes to prove she's not a goody-two-shoes, ultimately landing herself in grocery store jail.

I ain't "scurred."

Please. Like I care about what some internet jackass thinks.

So you know, if my life didn't get in the way,

while I stole a case of vodka-- which happened--

Oh, hello? Uh, is your refrigerator running?

happening over here in The Sea Story.

I feel what everyone else is feeling.

Okay. Bye.

You know, I think I'm just tired

God, I am bored.

How do you do that and keep your upper-body so still?

Oh, God, the look!

Hey, can I get a beer?

Yeah, I will leave a key in the mailbox,

I'm 43. What the hell kind of trouble can I get into?

I'm starved.

I can't wait to get all the stuff I need and pay for it.

- Oh. - But I can't do anything until I eat something.

All right. Geez.

Tom, I am so happy that you're part of our gang now.

Now you say something nice to Dr. Bullethead.

Man, I need someone to talk to.

Remember that girl at the boat?

No.

Look, I know you're nervous, but stealing is all instinct,

You're stealing food right now.

I'm gonna have a good-natured smile on my face.

I'm proud of my butt. Feel your butt.

Ah. There's the hate-filled look we've all grown to love.

This happens to every guy. It's no big deal.

Come on!

I didn't know you had people over.

and they wouldn't let you see him right away.

I was so close.

Oh, no, no. That's-- that's not mine.

How far are you willing to go sexually to get us out of here?

I mean, technically everything is still in the store.

Why are you even here? Hmm?

Why? Why-- why would you torture me?

I do feel better about myself when I'm judging others.

Thanks.

I didn't mean to go back to your original self that second.

So, let's talk about what's going on with you, sexually.

I bet everyone's thinking about what a dork I am.

What the hell did I just think?

apparently the police are too busy to come down.

Store this moment away, Richard.

An elderly couple, Ann and Norman McCormack, buy Grayson's old house after Jules promises them that they will all spend time together. Forced to hang out with the McCormacks, Ellie, Jules and Grayson soon discover that there are many perks to being old. Meanwhile, when another one of Bobby's get-rich-quick schemes doesn't pan out, he tries to switch up his luck by renaming his boat. And Travis searches for the perfect partner to win a high-stakes penny can game. MORE -LESS

Well, have fun with Riggs.

Snakes did this."

Like...

I don't want to meet new people.

I want that cash.

and become friends with all of your friends?

Three times. I drowned body surfing.

I'm gonna pass, but have fun.

before we're a couple.

All right. I went and bought

if I'm supposed to crash here or not.

I am in.

Ellie called permanent shotgun

We're all hanging out with the McCormacks.

Are you operating on someone young

I've eaten. I've had my wine.

Should we do that?

I don't think that's true,

I'm crawling on your face."

Sorry. None of my get-rich-quick schemes

they're not that jealous.

Yeah, he died in the womb. We were twins.

First you won't play penny can with me,

So, uh, how'd that surgery go?

Why not embrace being old like you two?

Whenever there's a pause,

Guys, it's almost 4:00.

There's just so much stuff you can get away with

I hate myself.

I got it!

so I'm gonna go find a partner for the penny can tournament.

and I think that's the name as of now.

Pick me! I'll let you keep the money

Yeah! That's right.

Did she just old-man wink me?

Is this not our house?

Sex freak it is.

We just sat around doing nothing.

and I got hit in the face.

"Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

Anne, do not get in there with him.

Hey, man. It's pretty badass that you stopped crying.

So you're not going for it because you're afraid?

Shouldn't you be getting ready to play penny can

till we actually paint it on the boat, so...

Okay.

Nah. Let's just stay here.

Travis and Andy take a backseat to Bobby's new tomboy friend, Riggs. Grayson sparks a religious debate when he sighs during Jules' family prayer. And the Cul-De-Sac Crew form a dodgeball league, but Andy's attention toward another girl leads to a brawl with a group of pre-teens.

You suck.

Okay, dear Lord,

You throw food at me, you pay the price.

What word won't offend you? Silly?

Yeah?

you always look so sexy and put together.

I'm just gonna go down to the make-believe store,

to get food out of the back of my teeth,

I can still be mad while you rub my feet.

- God, if he's wrong, give me a sign. - Too late.

He lives with us now. I named him Mr. Beakington.

So if someone throws a ball and it hits you in the face,

Surprisingly, yes.

I was surfin', and I dropped in on her.

Not a word for "penis."

Ha! Riggs is my buddy. She's practically a dude.

it'll look like you're walking with a dude.

for wanting my hot, sexy wife to show it off a little?

Ah, she's a 25-14. 25-14.

- Where is that gross bird? - He sort of took over upstairs.

Last Saturday, we spent the night debating

So I pray,

I meant with religion.

so religiously, I'm, like, one of those fountain drinks

who has been wagging her ass around for Andy.

She's, like, 14.

Enjoy the view.

which is totally cost-prohibitive--

- I'll see you, guys. - Bye.

They seem really focused on us.

Go, Jules, go! Go!

Every time I close my eyes, I just see them everywhere.

Don't tell me you're still on this faith thing.

Being hit in the face by balls.

But don't you see how cute she is?

you've never dated a girl you were friends with first.

That's tough to come by.

That was the sternest talking-to I've received

What is this really about?

She's right, sweetie.

has anyone ever died here playing dodgeball?

Confused by her mixed feelings for Travis, Laurie resorts to destroying things. But when her anger gets out of control, newly appointed mayor Andy has to step in. Jules starts hanging out with her therapist after discovering that her friends have been keeping secrets. And Bobby has a fling with the girl of his dreams while enjoying a vacation at Target. MORE -LESS

Uh, 6.

I forgot I ran for that. Mayor ando. Mando.

Because of this.

RUH-ROH. IT'S RAYSON.

I'm the first lady of gulfhaven.

I get to do a ribbon cutting at a new bike rack.

You're a grown man! Get a new hobby!

You're married to ellie.

Oh, sometimes I wish I could get away from it all.

I'm gonna take a little vacay.

How's your photography going?

Not everyone has heard of that show. They have.

Cool. Cool?

I WILL HIT YOU WITH IT. I'M GONNA DO IT! TRY IT!

W-why do you care?

How long has this been going on?

so I knew how to take it.

Dude, this place... is sick.

I fell asleep in one of these earlier.

But we can still hug because I did a double deod coat.

with the people that you're closest with.

Napkins or something.

Whew. That table's gonna need some more napkins.

ALL RIGHT. IT'S 2:00.

I present gulfhaven's new bike rack.

I just didn't feel like that was going anywhere good.

and see where it takes you.

♪ and day broke

♪ to recognize your grace

♪ "I know I'll never find another like you ♪

♪ I'll never find another like you" ♪

I mean, is it that bad

Too many.

Since there aren't any vaults,

YOU HURT ALL OF US.

I understand.

Yeah, I'm still really bummed, too.

how inappropriate it was for you to insert yourself

If you're talking about "seinfeld, I will kill you.

I think you've got some deep-seated trust issues.

and no one told me because they knew I would get upset.

to be able to tell someone anything

through her dark, licorice hair,

Jules' dad Chick spends some time at her house while recovering from an injury. During his stay, Jules experiences extreme stomach pain, but she's too stubborn to let her dad know. And Bobby and Grayson attempt to teach Travis how to be a "playa."

Just throw him on the couch.

I don't need a damn wheelchair.

soda... oh, and the remote.

I want you to take care of me.

and I'll teach you how to stop thinking with your heart

That is just wrong.

I am dying. Where's Jules?

She's just a horrible person.

I'm gonna go to bathroom before I kill myself.

Jules, I got your test results. You have a kidney stone.

♪ The trouble I've s-- ♪ Uhh!

Come on, now. This is insane.

He doesn't even believe in daylight savings time.

- Oh, I get that. - I'll be fine, dude, because what you don't know is,

♪ It's Grease in space ♪

lie your ass off till the panties hit the floor?

Seriously, that works? Just be honest?

I don't think I can move until you blink.

We're still debating whether or not

I mean, do you just jam it into the dershwersher?

but I didn't just fight for our country

You are so funny.

Oh, I don't know. I just--

I'm going down, too.

Be confident but not arrogant.

Last question.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait, man!

But in a good way.

Hey, boo,

You have to get on board.

then you don't need anything else.

Oh, I am so getting a robot.

it's almost like a horse giving birth.

When I passed mine, I bit your Uncle Jim's pinkie off.

So you just... doin' some night mowing?

I'm kidding.

I was not expecting a follow-up question.

I'm just not cut out to be a player. Playa.

You're this weird, goofy, nerdy little dude.

which I actually wear at least once a week,

Really? All right.

This is insane.

You know, and I can't sit around,

Laurie and Wade decide to move in together, but breaking the news to Travis doesn't go as planned. Tom becomes Jules' personal cheerleader after losing his "new guy" status. And Jules and Grayson have a naked day that turns out to be anything but sexy.

that I was keeping Travis from being happy...

I don't.

Told us, showed us videos.

the wheezing and grunting noises that Andy makes.

and you only do it one and a half times a week.

- Ellie, did you do this? - Yep.

Okay, who's gonna tell Travis about Laurie and Wade?

It would've been easier to say "everyone but Andy."

Friday night.

I just can't stand the thought of hurting him.

Jelly Bean,

And go.

Nope. I have to stay in this spot.

Oh, baby.

Thanks, Tom.

Well, I think he should call his johnson "the American way."

Hit him with the harsh truth.

Shocker.

Not bad.

Don't assume that Stan's up to something bad.

This always happens whenever I disagree with you.

He made the swim team, didn't he?

Okay, guys. It's showtime. Everybody act really happy.

May I kill him?

Ugh. Oh, come here.

- I think I'm gonna black out. - Oh.

Oh, please, child.

But, uh, I don't know my way around your town still,

He doesn't. I do it for him.

I can't even apologize now since he took off again.

Gonna camp out for a while.

Okay, I think it's time for that to be over.

Emergency meeting. Now.

Stan? Oh! Oh! Oh, don't kill me!

than a naked guy all alone on naked day.

Jules wears socks?

weren't you happy with your one and a half times a week?

Just put it out.

So, Laurie...

No, it's cool.

Oh, I think I'm gonna die.

But not you.

you gotta always believe in your son.

When buyers show interest in Grayson's house, the crew is quick to judge their potential new neighbors. They also become nostalgic about when redneck Bobby and Jules first moved into the neighborhood. Meanwhile, Wade returns home from Afghanistan early, but Laurie's initial excitement quickly turns to fear when he becomes too clingy.

Jay-Z and Beyonce.

Hence, square head.

Andy, are you coming? I had to start without you.

Oh! I think I sweated off my birth control patch.

Oh, I'm back for good.

Oh. What was that?

$51

What was so awful about Jules?

Oh, I don't want that.

When I need to jog my memory, I just jolt my brain like this.

A burger and fries. On it.

Your past is who you are. You have to own it.

Joking. Name's Bobby Cobb.

Yeah, baby! It's like "Matlock" with knockers.

Oh, honey, no man wants to tap a white ass.

Wait a second.

And that's what we call a meet-cute.

Okay. Hurry back, baby.

Good. It'd be nice not being the only minority around here.

Once I was at a rave so long that I forgot my own name,

Oh, look. It's girl lawyer.

- I'm on the phone! - Well, that's what makes it funny.

You're the lonely, needy girl

whether she likes it or not.

Oh!

Even you and Laurie had a meet-cute?

beautiful half-black, naturally blonde babies with him,

Laurie, you're either on that train with him or you're not.

All aboard!

if you're not wearing shoes?

- We're not married. - Oh. Is he gay?

I love that hairy little bald guy so much,

But the great thing? I kept it for years.

I-I just don't know why you're so upset.

who has worshiped me since the day we met.

Don't ever tell him.

and then you and this dog

is stupid and fake

If Wade stays in Florida, it's just to be with me.

I'm used to having my own space.

Look, letting Wade into your life is a big risk,

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Well?

Abrasive, contentious...

That's a good one.

look at my ring, my ring, my ring.

Jules has trouble sleeping, and it seems like nothing can help her relax. Grayson's face gets mangled in a roller hockey game. And Ellie goes into hiding after Andy decides to redeem his stash of sex coupons on Valentine’s Day.

Okay.

that'll be the image that haunts him.

"Tell me more about your kids."

mark my words, you're gonna say,

Yeah.

goes to the fridge for another beer,

Total Sci-Fi chick.

G-man, I want to give you your Valentine's Day gift early.

or if you come home late.

Well, this is very helpful. Thank you.

Mm.

It's sex o'clock.

I'm going to crush sleep tonight.

What am I supposed to do, just put my hair over my eyes?

Oh.

Ahh.

What's on your mind? I'll jump right in.

Oh, God! Aah!

Yeah. His play dates

Please. I care about your opinion.

- Amazing. - I'm not gonna take a pill!

I'm here with all my friends.

I'll just memorize your policy number.

by using a metaphor.

What?

I can't believe I'm gonna try this.

Why are you counting down? Wh... what's gonna happen?

That pill knocked Jules out.

I made of her favorite move.

and that didn't turn out so great, did it?

I've shut down.

Jules?

Oh, my God. I am so sorry.

Sleeping pills are out, but I've gotta get some sleep.

- Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. - Uh-huh. Sure. Yeah.

How can I get some sleep? Go.

let's call it self-love.

I mean, I still have the one he used

He wrote it after they split

Jelly, your DVR has nothing on it

Holy crap. I have to see that.

I don't.

Things Ellie would never say.

Well, if you can't sleep tonight,

Ohh.

Jules decides that her heart is no longer in the real estate business. Meanwhile, Bobby discovers his dream job selling premade burgers from a truck. Unfortunately Bobby's Burger Truck proves the perfect opportunity for Ellie to be rude to strangers

Fun and work don't go together.

Stranger touch is a game

I'm gonna take one of these home.

with a dozen former midwestern beauty queens

Maybe open presents, tickle babies,

Stranger touch.

Bobby, I've never seen you cook food.

and I sell to these rowdy yahoos for 4 bucks a pop.

Heel. Stan has a harness.

because you're standing and blinking,

Bobby's dream is rolling away.

I feel sad for Jules,

to hold up a mirror and ask two questions-- why and what if?

eating the same bologna sandwich,

Quit and do what?

and-- ooh! I even get to pay for your son's college tuition,

That's stealing.

Can you man the grill for a second?

and maybe being a prostitute.

What were the jobs where you had the most fun at?

No.

Art.

I'm sorry. It's a reflex.

Damn, that felt good. Toss me an apron.

Employees only behind the bar, please.

I could waitress. I can bartend.

Whoo! Look at this. It's all foamy.

You can't work here.

I am now the official baker of the Latin Kings.

and Travis took one, you know, with all his talent.

turn my head, it's like I'm there.

on my cell while I spun around in a circle

Art.

Back of the line, sasquatch.

under a bridge somewhere?

Got it.

In real estate,

So we get the joy

Really. I'll-- I'll do anything.

Jerry, you've been to the house six times.

Andy crapped all over what we do.

I put my soul in them.

I remember.

Not again.

Oh, nothing sadder than a cop on a bike.

I'm gonna miss that truck.

That's cool. What would be your dream job?

When Tom gets a new girlfriend, the girls decide to investigate. Bobby goes on a fake date with Ellie to improve his table manners. And after getting fed up with the girls' rules, Andy and Grayson rebel.

Let it know who it belongs to.

- So Tom's got a girlfriend. - Mm-hmm.

I'm pretending to be something that I'm not."

If I wear a shirt, you'd better believe that it is true.

And then I'd get to judge whose booty was the best.

You can't just outlaw my shirt.

Gotta air the dogs out.

Your ph-- your phone was on.

You know,

- Oh... - Say what?

Where'd you get that body from?

Good idea.

- Bing. - Bing.

Do not let these two near any statues of naked men.

Hey, thanks for coming on this fake date

Open up with a practical joke. I like it!

He's washing his food-pushing pinkie.

before I use the bathroom

or you can stand beside me and fight.

The pact is sealed.

You think Ellie and Andy are, like, for real?

Oh, my God. He's buying her everything.

You know, I'd like to get a look inside that giant purse.

Jules, now I know what "dirty naps" means.

No, we have rules.

Hulk angry.

Give him a break.

and used your pants, shirt, and tablecloth as a napkin.

your life's gonna be easier.

Maybe we're inside it.

Hand, pump.

It was mostly empty.

Lady, you can forget about your bathroom bucket.

All right.

Get it straight, buster. I'm not here to say "please."

autocorrected to the word "kidnapped."

You're gonna have to answer to... this guy.

if we were all just mean and hateful.

Do you think he'll ever really be happy?!

This psycho locked me in the closet

I should never read that stuff, should I?

No, Jules. Uh, you.

Yes. This is your watch, Tom.

Okay.

Jules begins to worry that her marriage to Grayson lacks passion. But when she enlists Ellie to start a verbal firestorm, things quickly get too heated. Laurie helps Travis find his superpower. And Bobby tries to shake things up by taking on a 'cooler' persona.

where we're outside but we're not drinking wine.

- No, I don't. - We're fighting now.

I want a passionate marriage.

That means we can talk like men.

He tried to play it cool,

Everyone in our gang has a special power.

Your dad can give anyone the perfect nickname.

So fun!

Yeah, I think you're being a little ridiculous.

I know. I put them all over.

then we go back to being Ike and Tina.

and become big ol' dykes?

Hey, ladies. It's your lucky day.

don't you think it's weird...

He's gonna think about it, drop everything, and kaboom.

A candy store.

Hell, I even made some new friends at AA.

It's driving me nuts, not knowing if he's okay.

Prove your superpower thing to me.

We could totally find it.

Well, that's a stupid tradition.

Your name could kill me.

No.

Don't you walk away from me.

- Nope. - Can you spot a vegan at the mall?

We will find your superpower.

She did not keep up with her dental care, so...

From this moment forward, I will be known as "Ron Mexico."

Yes. No, wait.

whatever the hell you want.

There. Now no one knows we're married.

Oh! Son of a-- my foot!

But Mrs. Cobb is a giant chore.

You have an amazing gift. Thank you.

we used to fight about everything.

Bobby...

Ron!

Let me give you some money for a hotel.

Okay, who wants to help figure out Trav's superpower?

Sounds like high-cholesterol medicine.

I mean, it's how you can solve any problem, right?

I'm not the one with the fake problem.

He worked on a shrimp boat.

that's so full of spiders, it's like a spider nursery.

Jules releases Travis from mandatory family night, but when he stays away too long, she becomes crazed. Ellie discovers she can get Andy to do anything she wants by training him like a dog. And the guys grow mustaches to look cool like Tom Selleck.

Did you guys know

Ooh. It's like a brand-new slightly gay Ferrari.

Just because you say "fact"

so I wouldn't tell you I was dying.

We should hang out whenever we want, have a drink.

Are you still hung up on Laurie?

Why is it the second you start treating girls like crap,

if you pick up your socks and put them in the hamper,

You know what's missing? Tom Selleck's mustache.

- Oh, yeah! - Whoo-hoo!

Anyway, I told Travis to only come over

You think you're the only ones who can grow body hair?

Thanks, babe.

Oh, to hell with it. I'm just gonna call Trav.

Hey.

I just meant be nicer to him...

Oh, that's good. Is that good?

"meet me in the handicap stall

But you love your fanny duster.

ooh, bath time yesterday.

Well, I am totally slammed, too.

I maybe tweeted the glarmy-- that's the gay larmy--

doing something his wife shouldn't know about.

Stay.

she's training you the same way I trained Dog Travis.

Uh-oh.

- Not really. - Hey, mom.

Oh, right.

That explains all the dead squirrels in the backyard.

ended up in Key Largo, and to get him back,

both mad at people you love, all right.

Have you guys seen Snowball? She got out.

I washed all your little T-shirts and your undies.

Are you chewing my favorite sandal?

McConaugh-haters gonna hate.

It's not a choice!

and the redesigned VW Bug,

Oh! And, uh, you guys don't own rainbows, okay?

Nice tizzy, Grayson.

This is where we had our first date.

It's the first week of marriage for Grayson and Jules, but when Grayson doesn't know the rules, he soon becomes Jules' "coffee and wine bitch." After Travis' 21st birthday, Bobby tries to make up for lost time by teaching him lessons about being a man. And Ellie and Laurie try to pull Jules out of her depression when Grayson refuses to apologize for what he did in her dream. MORE -LESS

So, Laurie, how's wade?

Anyway, the point is, I played Monopoly so much,

God, you're awesome at picking up on sarcasm.

Now I mean, I covered the basics...

Oh.

The world's two worst superheroes.

Bye, sweetie.

- Heya. - Hey, Bobby.

That's another good dad lesson, Trav.

Good lord.

You are awesome.

Your change, beautiful.

I can't believe you two were lesbians.

I mean, why do guys find the most random things sexy?

- 5'6"... - You're preaching to the choir, buddy.

Like, one little notch above suicidal.

I don't want him to think he married some woman

W... would you have sex with me?

for what you did in her dream.

I would apologize, but I know how to behave in a dream.

and I'd give him the file in the morning.

But in this particular instance, there's a blind spot.

90% of the time,

You still make a lot of life decisions

See, that's not true anymore.

Cha-ching.

Wade is perfect on paper.

That was a quick one. Look, Jules is fine.

Not since never, ever.

6 bucks.

Just look at her.

Don't tell me Ellie's right.

You never pee in there, right?

You should never have to see that.

I just got a text from one of my golf clients,

I'm rolling the dice and going positive.

- And-o, you're with me, right? - And-o?

But I'm a survivor. And I could teach you some stuff

I'm gonna say something my mom should've said two years ago

that I could do the whole conversation myself.

It means, I've always been your protector.

what Andy did to you the other night.

Live with it.

Oh, good. She still has her adorable edge.

But I now pass the torch to you.