Francine falls in with a group of tough girls after becoming the new school guidance counselor. Jeff panics when he loses his hat.
Roger becomes worried about outliving the family; Klaus opens a convenience store in the attic.
Steve is acting out his sexual energy, so Francine asks Stan to give Steve the talk; Stan is terrified because he's afraid he will do it wrong; the family builds a giant water slide in the backyard.
Stan is frustrated with traffic so he goes to the mayor and proposes that the town build a bullet train, but the mayor laughs off the idea; Roger pushes Stan into running for mayor; Stan wins the election but finds himself overwhelmed.
Bullock asks Stan to fill in for him at his class at the CIA Academy and Stan finds that the cadets are the perfect captive audience for his boring stories; Klaus becomes the hype-man for a famous rapper.
Francine hosts a dinner party even though a serial killer who attacks dinner parties is terrorizing the town; when the lights go out and guests start to disappear, Roger takes charge of solving the mystery of who is stalking the party.
Stan begins to experience crippling separation anxiety, which affects his performance at work; Klaus builds a website and forces the rest of the family to participate.
Hayley gets a job as a delivery driver and begins delivering lunch to Stan's office; when she sees the terrible work conditions, she organizes a strike; the family watches Breaking Bad in reverse and discovers the show is hiding a scavenger hunt.
Stan discovers that the Langley Falls historical mural has been ruined by graffiti and neglect and convinces the town to allow him to restore the mural himself; Roger becomes Steve's instructor at a prestigious clowning university.
Steve tries to stop Roger after he joins a mysterious order of birds' egg thieves; Francine buys a new Italian sauce for the family.
Stan and Hayley compete in collecting data for the US Census; Klaus has Steve and his friends model for his new camera.
Francine becomes a conspiracy theorist when she finds out Stan has been shielding her from unhappy news; Klaus and Steve help Snot pimp out his basement.