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Two and a Half Men

S12 E14
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Season 12  "Don’t Give a Monkey a Gun"  12x14

Aired 9 years ago - Feb 12, 2015

After they sign their divorce papers, Walden offers Alan the gift of his choice, but when Alan chooses something selfish and impractical, it puts his relationship with Lyndsey on the line.

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Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 1
Does the beach house and the private jet
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 2
I believed her.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 3
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 4
Well, that's very nice, but I didn't do it for a gift.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 5
What do I rub to make my wish come true?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 6
Then the Little Mermaid can't tell me,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 7
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 8
is granting you a wish?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 9
I'll hate myself either way, but I could be hating myself
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 10
um, $10,000 to my favorite charity...
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 11
Right. Right. Practical. Got to think practical.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 12
Please don't be a panda.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 13
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 14
Yeah, it paid for his first tank of gas.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 15
Oh, wow.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 16
so here we are.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 17
I know. Me, too.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 18
I even pulled out the big guns.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 19
I-I'm sorry. That was for Lyndsey.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 20
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 21
and instead you did something just for yourself.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 22
Oh. Maybe you could paint a smiley face on her vagina.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 23
Wow... a commitment.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 24
I'm not getting you an engagement ring and a Ferrari.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 25
I've never been to a high-end jewelry store like this.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 26
Just follow my lead, and keep it classy.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 27
Uh, uh, how about this one?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 28
Oh, and I might need your card, in case I propose
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 29
Oh, on the other hand, ever since I was a little boy,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 30
Well, what do you think of these?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 31
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 32
Why? Does the diamond fart a lot?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 33
I certainly wouldn't expect you
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 34
Thank you.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 35
Well, I really appreciate you all being here.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 36
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 37
I didn't know President McConaughey could act.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 38
I live in Lyndsey's house for free now.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 39
Now it's really just you and me. Hmm.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 40
And thanks for introducing us. Mm.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 41
No. You can't leave me.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 42
Oh, God... I'm gonna die alone!
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 43
Now, I want you to take a deep breath
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 44
♪ Men. ♪
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 45
I'm sorry I caused a scene back there.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 46
Oh, it's just, when I think about the rest of my life,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 47
I mean,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 48
we're still gonna see each other.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 49
Yeah.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 50
What's going on?

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 2
I believed her.
#2 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 3 #3 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 4
Well, that's very nice, but I didn't do it for a gift.
#4 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 5
What do I rub to make my wish come true?
#5 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 6
Then the Little Mermaid can't tell me,
#6 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 7 #7 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 8
is granting you a wish?
#8 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 9
I'll hate myself either way, but I could be hating myself
#9 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 10
um, $10,000 to my favorite charity...
#10 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 11
Right. Right. Practical. Got to think practical.
#11 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 12
Please don't be a panda.
#12 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 13 #13 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 14
Yeah, it paid for his first tank of gas.
#14 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 15
Oh, wow.
#15 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 16
so here we are.
#16 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 17
I know. Me, too.
#17 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 18
I even pulled out the big guns.
#18 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 19
I-I'm sorry. That was for Lyndsey.
#19 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 20 #20 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 21
and instead you did something just for yourself.
#21 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 22
Oh. Maybe you could paint a smiley face on her vagina.
#22 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 23
Wow... a commitment.
#23 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 24
I'm not getting you an engagement ring and a Ferrari.
#24 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 25
I've never been to a high-end jewelry store like this.
#25 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 26
Just follow my lead, and keep it classy.
#26 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 27
Uh, uh, how about this one?
#27 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 28
Oh, and I might need your card, in case I propose
#28 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 29
Oh, on the other hand, ever since I was a little boy,
#29 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 30
Well, what do you think of these?
#30 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 31 #31 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 32
Why? Does the diamond fart a lot?
#32 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 33
I certainly wouldn't expect you
#33 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 34
Thank you.
#34 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 35
Well, I really appreciate you all being here.
#35 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 36 #36 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 37
I didn't know President McConaughey could act.
#37 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 38
I live in Lyndsey's house for free now.
#38 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 39
Now it's really just you and me. Hmm.
#39 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 40
And thanks for introducing us. Mm.
#40 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 41
No. You can't leave me.
#41 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 42
Oh, God... I'm gonna die alone!
#42 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 43
Now, I want you to take a deep breath
#43 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 44
♪ Men. ♪
#44 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 45
I'm sorry I caused a scene back there.
#45 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 46
Oh, it's just, when I think about the rest of my life,
#46 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 47
I mean,
#47 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 48
we're still gonna see each other.
#48 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 49
Yeah.
#49 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 12 Episode 14 (S12E14) - 50
What's going on?
#50