Aired 15 years ago - May 11, 2009
House and the team are intrigued by Scott, a man whose left brain and right brain operate independently, leaving him with two distinct personalities and no control over some of his actions. As the two sides of Scott’s brain struggle for dominance,
his warring personalities make it increasingly difficult for the team to figure out what is causing the unique problem. The team is forced to use some unusual methods to get him to cooperate with their necessary testing. Meanwhile, when House refuses to make an appearance in the clinic, Cuddy takes an unconventional approach to force House to make up the time with a particular patient.
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Aired 15 years ago - May 04, 2009
House and the team take on the case of a ballerina whose lungs collapse in the middle of a performance. When the treatment causes her skin to fall off, the dancer faces not only the prospect of never dancing again but also of dying an agonizing
death. The team must use their imaginations to carefully choreograph ways to test and treat her delicate body without killing her. Meanwhile, House continues to suffer from what he thinks is insomnia, and he is willing to go to desperate measures to cure it.
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I acknowledge
my subconscious exists.
- No tumors or punctures
in the lungs,
but elevated means high, right?
- I'm...
- You know
he's just gonna keep asking.
- I used to think
if I didn't find anyone, then--
- I know you're wrong
about sleep apnea,
- Transtracheal aspiration.
- An infection
can be treated...
Here comes the liquid.
Get an ultrasound of her liver.
- I do have a practice.
treated you for an infection
Why were you talking
to the patient?
- Entering
the right hepatic vein.
you're the guy
who killed her kids.
- Heart's too irregular
for MRI.
for the rest of your life,
We're gonna stop her heart
so I can MRI it.
Do you have any alternative?
that overly earnest tone.
that'd be really helpful.
which really
doesn't affect me at all.
- Too devoted?
- Thank goodness.
you made a brilliant deduction
about her heart.
♪ enjoy yourself ♪
How many shirts do I need?
at this moment.
- What if we put her
on a heart-lung machine?
- It's late, and I'm tired.
- Let me call my babysitter.
- That was a test.
- No.
I'm a dancer.
- Technically, if she dies,
I saw it,
which means you saw it.
Now, this is interesting.
Vasodilators can--
The breathing.
I'm your hospital's
biggest asset.
- Because I thought
you were an interesting lunatic
Aired 15 years ago - Apr 27, 2009
The team takes on the case of a deaf 14-year-old named Seth who collapsed after he started “hearing” explosions while competing in a wrestling match. When the team tries to test him for seizures, Seth loses vision in one eye, complicating House’s
bunk theory of “Exploding Head Syndrome.” As his condition worsens, the team has an ethical disagreement about the patient and his mother’s adamant decision to forego cochlear implants to supplement his hearing. When the prospect of giving Seth the ability to hear for the first time in his life arises, House and the team are faced with a resounding decision. Meanwhile, House’s lack of sleep starts to play tricks on his mind, but he finds his insomnia may be a gift instead of a burden
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Aired 15 years ago - Apr 13, 2009
Cameron postpones her vacation with Chase in order to ask House to accept the case of an environmental radical who collapsed at a protest with unexplainable symptoms. Although suspicious of her motives, House agrees. Since she pushed him to take the
case so emphatically, House forces Cameron to take the lead and run many of the tests on the patient. Meanwhile, House is unsure of Wilson’s new healthy diet.
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Aired 15 years ago - Apr 06, 2009
Charlotte, an older woman who has spent the last six months taking care of her dying husband Eddie, is rushed to Princeton Plainsboro after collapsing from respiratory failure. The couple becomes a double mystery for the team when Eddie begins to
improve as Charlotte’s condition worsens. The previously unthinkable becomes real when it seems that Charlotte will die before Eddie, and the team will be forced to make a difficult decision.
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Aired 15 years ago - Mar 30, 2009
A man awakens in New York after a bicycle accident unable to move or communicate in any way. House, himself injured in a motorcycle mishap, occupies the hospital bed next to Lee and quickly annoys the doctors treating them both by insisting that Lee has “locked-in” syndrome.
No, i can't be stuck
like this.
Next to the trauma,
the mostly likely causes
Luckily, i found some forms
under the mattress.
I think you were sent here
to make me get better.
Mm, that's what they said.
But if you could answer
any of them,
Because he has cancer!
Which means you're no longer
motivated to impress me,
that i think you're
secretly a transvestite.
Then why don't you just quit?
Street opiates
can also cause locked-in...
The surgery
will get us more clues.
I want
to show you my drawings.
If he'd done
everything right the first time,
Is more than half of it shaded?
Also possible is that the
surgery caused so much swelling
Brain computer interface...
I was heading to the
down-state correctional facility
Did that just...
Have you had any bloody
diarrhea in the last two weeks?
Infection went to your brain,
froze you right up.
No.
i wish you could hear me.
That's a great idea.
Kutner came up with the cadmium.
Here...this is going
to hurt even more.
I was checking out
your dirty, little secret.
It doesn't seem that way.
scratch this foot... wow,
that really, really itches.
So dying liver released
toxins, damaged the nerves,
You've got a rash.
We found rats
in your buddy dave's basement.
Welcome back.
Aired 15 years ago - Mar 16, 2009
Morgan works in a nursing home with a pet cat who only sleeps next to people if they are about to die - and does so with alarmingly accuracy. When it seems the cat has predicted her own death, Morgan, convinced she is about to die, fakes a seizure in order to get to House to have him diagnose her before it’s too late.
And, yes, green pee does meet
Airing disagreements
doesn't qualify as arguing.
So you're insight
is based on discovering
I tripped and banged my leg.
- Lie down a sec.
- I'm dizzy.
A few years back, I was one of them.
Confirm she's faking
or I'm gonna have to kick her out.
epileptic seizures;
they can smell cancer.
- You really lost all that money?
- I don't care about the money.
Why are we in
the coma patients' room?
We still have a human patient, right?
Airborne allergens possible?
I'm sorry,
but if you won't escort her out,
- to the one you're on now.
- I was married. I got divorced.
- Used to?
- When I was a plastic surgeon.
Gotta make it
a half-inch smaller though.
- Don't worry, I'm not quitting.
- I know.
Every time he was
irrefutably proved wrong,
Oh, my God, the death laser
is attacking your legs.
I just told you it's Cushing's.
Treat...
except if you'd glanced at the nursing
home files I had faxed this morning,
but you don't have an MBA.
Your patient had cardiac arrest
during the venous sampling.
I confirmed that one.
Photo's on my blog.
The only permanent solution
This is crazy.
I'm investing with his company.
Yes, dead people are renowned
for their warm glow.
Aired 15 years ago - Mar 09, 2009
House and the team take on the case of Nick, a book editor who loses his inhibitions. The team realizes Nick has frontal lobe disinhibition, which causes him to speak his mind having no control over what he says and making him just like House. Meanwhile, House suspects Wilson and Taub are keeping something from him.
Aired 15 years ago - Feb 23, 2009
A patient with both male and female DNA has the team stumped. Meanwhile, House starts acting nicely, raising Cuddy's and Wilson's suspicions that something is terribly wrong.
Aired 15 years ago - Feb 16, 2009
When a priest who runs a homeless shelter sees a bleeding Jesus hovering at his doorstep, he is admitted to the ER. House takes on the case as a distraction for the team while he confronts Foreman and Thirteen about their relationship. The team soon
learns the priest had been involved in a molestation scandal that caused him to lose his faith. However, just as they are about to dismiss his case, the patient’s condition takes a drastic turn for the worse, and House grapples with his past and his belief
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Aired 15 years ago - Feb 02, 2009
House and the team take on the case of a woman who collapsed in the middle of a cooking class, and they soon learn she is a highly-renowned cancer researcher who recently gave up her entire career in order to pursue her own personal happiness.
Though the team struggles to understand how the woman could give up saving lives for the sake of her own contentment, each grapple with the pursuit of happiness (or lack thereof) in their own lives. As the patient’s condition continues to worsen, so does Thirteen’s as she begins to suffer serious and life-threatening reactions to the experimental Huntington’s Disease clinical trial. Meanwhile, Cuddy attempts to make House’s life miserable for him in retaliation for his part in her own unhappiness.
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We have a case? Did
you just get to work?
You mean, like, a sabbatical?
You're wrong. I don't
even listen to you.
Hey, blue.
Well, then, why are you a doctor?
That wouldn't have
anything to do with you
True, but i can get you an mri.
It doesn't fulfill me as a person.
Ow! Oh, that's weird.
Shouldn't you be obsessing
over who did this to you?
Foreman.
I hear cuddy's seal training
finally came in handy.
I was thinking you actually feel guilty
Itching is one of the
lovely side effects.
a lot of people were furious with me.
On our third date i told you
that i didn't want to have kids,
I like our life.
I'll go give house the test results.
It's so itchy.
If i want to do something, i do it.
Not particularly.
Really interesting column.
I'm sorry.
We were just talking
about this patient of ours.
This drug inhibits cell death.
and i fell over the table.
And your non-involvement strategy
Ebony and ivory are joined near the hip.
Where is he?
In which case, you might want
to tell him to turn around.
I like what he does for this hospital.
I never thought it would be bad for her.
I'm embracing my ignorance.
No.
You feel bad because
mesothelioma means i'm dying.
to torch your career
to pay for your sins.
Patient's heart just stopped.
Today, you're practically
weeping on my shoulder.
You should go talk to wilson.
There's about a 3 or 4 in 28 chance
until her cycle's over
I can see you.
You're gonna spend one day of your life
Aired 15 years ago - Jan 26, 2009
Cuddy decides to spend more time at home to take care of her newly adopted baby and passes some of her day-to-day responsibilities off to Cameron, including supervising House. Cameron is forced to play House’s games and becomes involved in a power
struggle as he and the team take on the case of a Special Education teacher who collapsed after spitting up blood in the middle of class. As House tests Cameron’s tolerance for his extreme measures, the patient continues to fall ill and House insists the teacher’s seemingly inherent goodness is actually a pathology.
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like babysitting you.
29-year-old Special Ed. teacher
coughs up blood
Toss out a lame idea,
instead of agreeing
Time Zero.
If you ever meet our boss,
just yes or no answers, okay?
She cries, she eats,
and she poops.
Sorry.
Either you folded
because I gave you crap,
On the other hand,
So, yeah, slightly convoluted.
She's on the placebo.
That it's a load of crap.
No problem.
Who has to go pee in the middle
of a nuclear procedure?
Not medically, no.
Unless the new mother
brings the baby to work
but the kid--
Why would she do that?
I'll close the blinds so
the nurses don't ask questions.
but not "curing Huntington's" good.
Cameron tell you to be here?
Now they're both talking.
classic marker
for number confusion.
The platelet dysfunction
and cardiac arrest
You don't think we have time for an ERCP?
- The heart attack was six hours ago.
And the patient's brain,
or pancreas,
I've been wondering if he's right.
But she deserves to be loved.
I'm the last person you'd ever
come to for ethical advice,
There, that wasn't so hard, was it?
Do we have to tell him?
It explains the heart,
the blood, and her lungs.
that was an A.M.A.-approved
treatment for M.S.
is gonna hate you until the day
she dies next week.
that sleeps, and poops, and cries.
[both sigh]
You brought me three dead bugs
and a runny nose.
and placing electrodes
on her brain is insane.
[chuckles]
Please, turn that phone off!
She had low blood pressure.
You trying to annoy me?
we have to walk upright,
Didn't look in the heart part.
Which means that when you get
stressed, you get unstressed.
Aired 15 years ago - Jan 19, 2009
House and the team try to diagnose a man living with severe, chronic pain; Thirteen and Foreman explore their complicated relationship; Cuddy discovers that caring for her baby leaves her with little time to run the hospital.
Aired 16 years ago - Dec 09, 2008
House and his team deal with a bullied girl who collapses during her school's Christmas program. Meanwhile, Foreman and Thirteen grow closer during the Huntington's disease drug trials, House gives a patient a gift, the staff wonder who gave House a special gift, and Cuddy gets an unexpected gift.
if I stayed,
Oldest gag in the book.
We took some ourselves,
we just--
Where do you work, again?
I didn't try to kill myself.
with a mysterious green
wrapping paper trademark?
And you--
We got distracted
by the painkillers.
having sustained,
meaningful relationships,
then I'm gonna be
nice to all my patients
I don't have a long time.
Who says it's a duty?
Oh, God.
but really,
really hate this kid.
could cause,
uh, liver failure,
Just call her,
say you're sorry.
Dr. House?
whose penis
made it up there somehow.
I'm such a dork,
I guess that cheers me up.
Our little girl's
a drunk.
I don't know.
Well, sometimes
doctors make mistakes...
She feels
like she deserves
a friend of mine
has this disease.
She also didn't
cheat on you.
but it was never proved.
Alcohol withdrawal
We'll do a bone marrow
biopsy to confirm.
Could still be
It would have taken--
- Oh, yeah.
Seizures,
liver failure--
That's ridiculous.
I'm sorry.
♪ in a daydream ♪
♪ but if you keep real ♪
Aired 16 years ago - Dec 02, 2008
The team takes on the case of a fitness guru on an all-natural diet who collapsed while filming a video. Meanwhile, Foreman conducts Huntington's Disease drug trials and Thirteen signs on as a subject, Cuddy is forced to move into House's office, and Kutner uses House's name to run an online medical-advice website.
Aired 16 years ago - Nov 25, 2008
A man seeking the right diagnosis for his illness is willing to take on the hospital and the SWAT team to get it. He takes thirteen and several patients from the waiting room and puts them in Cuddy's office. To put an end to the crisis they must come up with the right diagnosis, treat the wounded, and hold off a SWAT team.
He's cool as ice, right?
Six, seven, fire.
Ari, you've canceled on
him six times already.
I'm just memorizing,
johnny, thanks.
There's nothing to discuss.
We shoot it.
Come here.
Well, you know what?
She did a nice job.
Yes I do. Andy and I were once brothers.
All right, relax. No one's getting
tough. I'm sure it was an accident.
3000°.
Wow.
I'm gonna do a lot more
than that, lloyd.
But to me it's a severe
breach of trust.
I'm not gonna end up saying
a word in thisovie.
I don't want to give
you the loan.
Waiter, another scotch.
- so how you feeling?
- I feel good.
That was very fiery
and volatile,
I come and go as I please.
I answer to no one.
You feel bad 'cause I didn't
end up where you are?
Another round.
We're celebrating.
Because my permission
is exactly what you need.
All of them.
Aired 16 years ago - Nov 18, 2008
While Foreman takes on a pediatric case on his own, the rest of the team deals with a 16-year-old factory manager and emancipated minor who collapses at work. When Foreman's patient takes a turn for the worse, he's forced to question whether he can deal with the situation on his own, or if he needs House's help.
Aired 16 years ago - Nov 11, 2008
The team must treat an agoraphobic who refuses to leave his house, and have to work around Cuddy, who is less than thrilled at having hospital equipment relocated. Meanwhile, House is plagued by an itch, and Cameron and Chase have relationship issues.
Aired 16 years ago - Oct 28, 2008
An ailing man suffers from blackouts and sleepwalks, leading the team to wonder if his sleepwalking is a symptom, or how the man is becoming exposed to something else. When the man's daughter grows ill as well, the team must provide a diagnosis
before both die. Meanwhile, Cuddy adopts a newborn but when the birth mother displays a rash, she has to make a decision between putting the mother or daughter at risk.
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Aired 16 years ago - Oct 21, 2008
Thirteen brings her one-night stand to the hospital after the woman has a seizure. However, the woman admits she slept with Thirteen just so she could get to House and have him diagnose her condition. Meanwhile, House continues to pay Lucas to spy on Wilson.
Aired 16 years ago - Oct 14, 2008
While en route to his father's funeral, House must help the team with a differential diagnosis on a young Chinese girl who has collapsed under mysterious circumstances.
Your mother called-- twice.
I don't know what your daddy issues
are, but don't deflect them on me.
I'm deflecting because I'm
avoiding something shallow.
I'm a technician and a doctor.
Okay, well, so call it "ars."
they yanked my brother
and sister out of college.
What's going on? I need to know
what's going on. That's my daughter.
we need to pinpoint which defect she has so
we can start her on the right anticoagulant.
There's a rest stop in five miles.
She wants to think,for a moment,
that she had a happy family.
Thanks. But they
don'tlet you smoke inside.
Your mother will hold the
funeral till we get there.
What do you think House would send, the "gentle
comfort" arrangement or the "warm thoughts" bouquet?
Whatever House says or doesn't
say, I'm sure the guy's a mess.
His second toe is
longer than his big toe.
Anybody in their right mind
would have ratted me out.
If wilson was getting handcuffed on the hood of
his car, would I be carrying on a differential?
It's a really old warrant.
Not if your mother's alive,you don't.
I was at the hotel bar trying
to unwind, have a drink.
And I paid for the mirror.
He--he's a
fugitive from justice.
They're not now.
Bubbles.
Good heavens,we haven't
missed it after all.
The war is over, greg.
We've been supportive,
we've been combative.
Compulsively showing up four hours late,
ignoring discipline,ignoring rules.
Including some from the corps.
The world sucks, and you
didn't have time to brace yourself.
The problem wasn't the cyst. It's
advanced dilated cardiomyopathy.
You know, you could just wait for the
mri to have your curiosity satisfied.
Girl comes to you, says that
she's your long-lost daughter.
Who freaks out like she's seen a ghost
25 years later when the girl shows up.
I already had this conversation with
wilson--just go with it.
shockingly, not all religious
leaders are honest.
Please. She's fragile.
Aired 16 years ago - Sep 30, 2008
A painter's undiagnosed illness affects his work, and House and his team must look at the man's paintings to determine what's wrong with him.
Aired 16 years ago - Sep 23, 2008
The team deals with an organ donor whose organs prove fatal, and the two surviving patients. Meanwhile, House hires a private detective to spy on Wilson, but hears a few things about himself that he'd rather not.
Aired 16 years ago - Sep 16, 2008
In the aftermath of personal tragedy, Wilson resigns from the hospital... and from his friendship with House. Meanwhile, Thirteen struggles with her personal medical problems while helping treat an executive assistant with a similar situation to her own.
Tox screen's cleaner than
the windows she won't do.
Been waiting two months
for her to say that.
It's about me.
Physical pain is different.
- CT scan?
- Ordered.
Needy?
Two false positive pregnancy tests,
bradycardia, lower G.I. Bleed. Go.
Uh, we have a patient.
In rare cases, it plummets
through the plumbing entirely.
She's a 37-year-old woman
who deserves...
I'm sorry to be
so definitive about this.
If you'd like to sit in,
so to speak...
I got a new job and I moved.
I didn't kill her.
and now something's wrong
with her brain.
- Not at all.
- You mind if I leave?
Does Dr. House think I have M.S.?
Gee, is this the remote
from the doctors' lounge?
Shut up. You're making me miss
House's mocking.
- So what do you want to tell us?
- Nothing.
- You're against it, right?
- She hasn't told you in front of me.
We need a piece of the ganglioma.
If we don't have House,
we can think like him.
But we don't get it just
because we want it.
House doesn't want to lose his sidekick.
- Why?
- I feel better.
I'm applying for a job at a foundation.
So you would say something
stupid and insensitive,
- Bradycardia's improving, we...
- She have bruising?
Don't let the girls hear.
She's reasonable.