Status
Ended
Network
HBO
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 5

Aired 3 years ago - Jun 26, 2016

Selina and her staff prepare for inauguration day; Mike suffers from exhaustion; Catherine gets a makeover.

Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 10 (S05E10) - 1
Think I'm gonna need an agent, you know,
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I have a feeling you're gonna do some really great things.
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- but I will be continuing on... - Oh.
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Great. Thank you very much. Yes, thank you.
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I... I guess so, yeah.
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Congressman Ryan's office.
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Uh, thank you.
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And, of course, with the presidency vacant,
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- Ma'am? - What?
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- What? - Mr. Murray.
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That was... no. That was 10 years ago.
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50-49. This is not Montez. She's getting help.
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is a pleasure and an honor,
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Now you know what it feels like.
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That magnificent woman
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- Gary... - Oh, shut up!
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Well, that just kind of made this whole year worth it.
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So what's the reason now, then?
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Mine takes place in an alternate timeline
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and her family will spend tonight at Blair House.
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I mean, really, seriously, you're one of the good ones.
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I would have said, "Please, can I be president?"
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Ah, wow, that's starting to make a whole lot of sense.
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Ma'am? Okay.
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Oh, my God, I hope I didn't fuck Richard.
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Mom, you're gonna do something with your hair, right?
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Do you realize the whole goddamn Rayburn House Office Building
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Now let me give you some advice
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My fucking nuts!
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I'd think that you'd know the place like the back of your hand by now.
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Here's an interesting fact.
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Hell, when my boys were that age, they'd have just torn this place apart.
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Okay.
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And she's greeting a very attractive stranger.
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Oh.
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...that I will faithfully execute the office
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Gracias.
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And on board that plane are the so-called baby lamas,
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and may God bless America.
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having a little place on Main Street, hanging a shingle out front,
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- Where's Sue? - I don't know.
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Yeah, that's not a baby.
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Aired 3 years ago - Jun 19, 2016

Catherine and Marjorie have a fight; Mike prepares for his babies; Selina is interviewed.

Aired 3 years ago - Jun 12, 2016

A pre-Christmas celebration for Selina's family at Camp David camouflages her team's secret negotiations. Amy and Dan work on Jonah's human side after a terrible debate performance in New Hampshire.

Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 8 (S05E08) - 1
And, Catherine, do you remember that Brazil hotel chain?
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but I actually do think we need to get some wood from outside.
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and an engine assembly plant in North Carolina.
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No, I'll tell you what he likes. Nordic beav.
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and you've fallen 20 points behind the Widow Sherman.
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It's been a very hard year.
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- Really? - Yes.
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So this is unacceptable.
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Oh, you got Marjorie a gift.
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It's a first edition Gertrude Stein.
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Yeah. Oh.
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Thank you. I didn't get any of that except strawberries.
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This is just lovely. Thank you very much.
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This is exquisite and I really hope that's all.
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Thank you for this rock.
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which makes it local to you
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from the Second Hague Conference of 1907.
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They say you look like a prisoner
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Turn on the...
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I tell him now what I told him then...
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On a walk?
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Except without any food.
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Ah, Jang, that was my daughter
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- Marvin Gardens. - You want it?
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Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh.
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I am right in the middle of something.
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Ah, well, it happened
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_
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How do I put this delicately?
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This happens occasionally in Iceland,
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But what you're gonna need to do is let him get a word in.
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Well, that does not change the fact
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This is not happening.
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So we can conserve the rest.
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they've been better, I realize.
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Your mother has given an amazing pen to the Chinese leaders.
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Like a Chinese Mr. Darcy.
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- I'm freeing Tibet? - No, no, not free.
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It is, of course, tragic
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I don't want to talk to you.
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- Hey, baby. - Well, yeah.
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culturally significant and traditional...
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Although, perhaps when things are as significant as Tibet,
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What is happening?
Aired 3 years ago - Jun 05, 2016

The White House Christmas party finds Selina canvassing for votes to break the election tie. The '50 Hottest D.C. Staffers' list is on everyone's lips in the West Wing. Mike mulls a career move. Dan helps Jonah hone his debate skills in New Hampshire.

Aired 3 years ago - May 29, 2016

With the U.S. on the brink of a major financial meltdown, Selina must make an important decision. Jonah finds himself back in New Hampshire. Amy investigates the staff, and Catherine tries to get time with Selina to share major news.

Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 6 (S05E06) - 1
Do you morons really not understand that this is a two-way mirror?
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Uh-huh. How is Catherine there and also here?
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- Nope, that's not it. - You've got to spin it.
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- Oh, we need Dan Egan. - Dan turned us down.
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Hey, Dan. You want to go to lunch later
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- If he wins, you're a political genius. - I'll think about it.
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No, I... I have no idea.
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I don't care what hits we take.
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I was looking thoughtfully out the window.
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Copyright shit went out with the Zune.
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You're glowing.
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Whatever you decide is best.
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- Hello, ma'am. - Amy, come to my office.
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So I think we should push this investigation
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Yes, ma'am.
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Well, now I have, too, apparently once.
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Or the guy in college who wanted to watch me pee.
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It's worse than we thought.
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I could lose them both. I mean, at this stage they're purely decorative.
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But I've done some deep soul diving
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Okay, well, fuck him if he thinks I'm gonna back down.
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Get a picture of me and this guy's mustache.
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I assume what I'm seeing is the patented Egan touch.
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He couldn't go to the bathroom?
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On second thought, we are now going to bail out
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I suppose you need something to nervously shit out.
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Although you do have the perfect face for it.
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No, you told the president to bail out Charlie's bank.
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I still remember that lovely macaroni portrait
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Gentlemen, you'll have to towel off and wait.
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It was my pleasure. Oh, gentlemen.
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Have both plans ready to go.
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Dan, you're on with the president.
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but I'm gonna guess that it has the word anal in it.
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- She has never respected me. - And I'm bad at my fucking job?
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I want you to go out there and I want you to kick some New Hampshire ass.
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Her whole presidency has been one disgrace after another
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go to my friend here at "The New York Times."
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It was me. I called the president the C word.
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I've made my final decision.
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because when you have found someone you love,
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Madam President, what will you be buying for Mr. Baird?
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I already have a book.
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I know you had an eye job.
Aired 3 years ago - May 22, 2016

Selina celebrates Thanksgiving in her own special way. Ben and Kent manage a Thanksgiving Day crisis, deploying Tom James and VP Doyle to make statements in Selina’s absence. Ben sends Dan to work for Tom James.

Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 5 (S05E05) - 1
But we're doing a whole dinner at her house.
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They're ready in the Roosevelt Room.
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but this is the White House mess and to be in here,
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- Well, I'm ready if you are. - For what?
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My eyelids are seriously starting to look like Keith Richards' ball sack.
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- Right. - After, you know. Wish me luck, though.
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I thought you said tea-bagging.
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It's not a problem for an actual doctor.
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POTUS is still getting permanently Photoshopped.
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Just the guy I wanted to see.
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I think that's genetic.
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She will be making a full statement soon...
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Shit, I don't even know who's at my house.
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The cases now number over 200.
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- from Cornell University. - No, you don't.
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- Wow. - It's okay. It's okay.
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- And we're clear. - I love the Hanukkah bit.
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she fucking hates you as do I.
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Well, if she's not incapacitated, you don't need me.
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How do you feel about the term Turkeypocalypse?
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I'll come and pester you to be back at your desk in an hour.
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- Hello? - Happy Thanksgiving.
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Of course. The salmonella outbreak.
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Okay, we've got Congressman Coffey.
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Our surrogate Debralee is a go.
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- You got one of those... - Yeah, lint brush. Sure, right here.
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Well, in many ways, this could be the best thing that could happen.
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God, he is such, like, a little man, isn't he?
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Not to eat, just to talk.
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And I'll be honest with you. I don't think you're being honest about being honest.
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all clients, of course, of Sidney "Why is That Guy Calling Me" Purcell.
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- You had a nervous breakdown, right? - It was not a breakdown.
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- I just want to see if I have that balm. - Oh, goodie.
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Thanks, guys. I got it. Come, sit down, please.
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Listen, I will go out there with my golden boy smile,
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As most of you already know, Congressman Harry Sherman passed away today
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- You know what it could be? - What?
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and five really hungry people, so I'm gonna need you to be really quick.
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but what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
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Jeff: I spoke to the governor.
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You don't give me names, Beardo. I give you names.
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- and I don't shit where I eat. - Well, me neither,
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for farmed salmon with a side of zucchini.
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- Good night, Brookheimers. - Bye, Dan.
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there is going to be a special election back home for the seat and...
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Of course, up against the Widow Sherman,
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I went to the White House on a three-week placement.
Aired 3 years ago - May 15, 2016

Selina rushes to the hospital while attempting to win the presidency. Amy and Dan discover the O’Brien camp has staged a fake protest, and task Jonah and Richard with organizing their own pro-POTUS demonstration. Mike and Wendy meet with a potential surrogate.

Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 4 (S05E04) - 1
to get these ballots counted, okay?
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Wow, hi. You got here quick.
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Okay, sweetie, the president does not want to hear my resume right now.
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We've all been hanging out a bunch.
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is whatever is playing in the background at Neiman Marcus.
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She always wore dishwashing gloves when she gave me my bath.
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Keep everything organic. I exercise every day.
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It's a small congregation, but it's fierce.
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There's not really a plug.
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- Marjorie, can you help me with this? - Yes, ma'am.
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clearly demonstrates that this man does not possess the judgment and dignity...
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- Of course. - I recognize those words.
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with your pro-POTUS signs and get your camera-unfriendly faces on TV.
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- Do you pray? - A lot.
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"O Lord God, it's me, Selina."
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Lord, let her daughter, Thy humble servant,
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those you loved cannot be lost
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Okay, Nicole, you can go ahead and begin.
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- Yeah, okay. - My condolences.
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issued a temporary stay of certification.
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You pulled the plug without me?
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That would be a good story for the eulogy.
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of a pathological narcissist.
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- You're too kind. - No, it's true.
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- They're well-wishers. - Really?
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I love you.
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I'm not even aware I'm doing it anymore.
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I'm gonna have a lovely inauguration. Billy Joel is gonna sing.
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I'm tired of losing things!
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that it's "Stop the Count" now and not "Count Every Vote"?
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Maybe I'll get assassinated.
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- We're not at Club Med. - In here...
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- God. - Charlie.
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- The eulogy is all set. - Okay.
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then nobody is supposed to like Tim McGraw.
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No, they have a gift for sensing prevailing political winds.
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may undermine their very fragile economy
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I'll tell you after.
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Aired 3 years ago - May 08, 2016

Fallout from Selina's tweet gives Mike a major headache; Amy is unsettled by Bob's power grab; Gary finds himself the bee's knees at a museum gala.

Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 1
What Alan Turing is trying to say is if there are missing votes,
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All right, gonna have to start chumming the media waters.
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See? Crapistan's calling.
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What?
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Impressive. How did you secure a reservation there?
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- Please, stop... ma'am? - Mike, what are you doing?
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Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 11
I suggest that we disavow the tweets.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 12
- There was a breach earlier today. - Mm-hmm.
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Actually, ma'am, I have a better idea.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 14
I mean, can I really blame another country
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 15
The president believes cybersecurity is paramount
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I will not dignify the president's petty remarks with a response.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 17
...O'Brien is gonna kill us in the House over this China thing.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 18
Have them what? Have them help us park in front of a fire hydrant?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 19
So you want to grab a drink or something?
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as long as you promise not to put your dirty gay mustache on it.
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Why don't you fuck off back to Burger King?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 24
No, no, I'm always awake.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 25
Yes, you think my instincts are right?
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five to six hours if you need anything else.
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Well, that seems to have shut O'Brien up, huh?
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- No, this is not...
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 29
Good to see you.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 30
We all know you're as folksy as a butter churn lamp,
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- Did this come from India? - I don't know. Did you get it?
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I love to hear that. Okay, you're hanging on to me like a skin tag.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 33
Bob, are you okay?
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I was able to get in touch with Susan Bailey at the "Reno Star,"
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 37
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 38
and she is legit fuckable.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 39
The fuck is going on?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 40
and a longtime generous benefactor of this unique institution,
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 41
Dan, are your ears on mute?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 42
- Shut the fuck up. - Shut the fuck up, Jonah.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 43
Sometimes up to 16% end up missing or thrown out.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 44
Amy, what are your top five favorite De Niro movies?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 45
I already thought about that.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 46
Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 47
- Stegosaurus, the arm... Gary? - Mm-hmm.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 48
This is a simple and straightforward case.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 49
In many cultures, the word vote can mean a myriad of things.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 3 (S05E03) - 50
What? Where is he?
Aired 3 years ago - May 01, 2016

Amy, Dan, Jonah and Richard go all out to win the election for Selina. Meanwhile, Tom is unceremoniously ousted from the new banking task force; a well-known D.C. fixture joins the team; Selina meets a Wall Street titan; Mike aims to improve his health before becoming a father; and Kent is curious about Sue's age.

Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 1
This Olympic-size swimming pool of shit
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 2
The president will be there shaking hands
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 3
Unbelievable numbers. Though also tragic.
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if the recount sample shows a difference of 1% or more,
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 5
- That's Crawley versus Nevada? - That's Crowley.
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You just gave them a Time Life instruction manual on how to fuck us.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 7
(LAUGHS) Catherine, out.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 8
so I checked and he's an O'Brien fundraiser.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 9
to Henry Kissinger back when that tricky son of a bitch
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 10
You don't remember me. I was an intern way back when you were...
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- My, oh, my. - KENT: Still here?
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That's a testament to this voter's earthy
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 13
Oh, I'm glad that you're able to turn
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 14
Oh, thanks. Yeah, check those out. Genuine crocodile skin.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 15
Can Paul McCartney teach Kid Rock how to be a good songwriter?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 16
Actually, I was gonna say a champion for the middle class,
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 17
Where'd you find that? In your sofa seat cushion?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 18
Oh, thank you very much. Oh, Jesus Christ.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 19
But, with all due respect, Madam President,
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 20
Madam President, Katie says to tell you Hubbard forever.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 21
Sorry. You should read C.S. Lewis's book on grief.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 22
We can do that. It's a two-minute walk.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 23
Me suck pee pee in teepee.
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no, no, no, not you.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 25
or your... the way your head goes into your shoulders so smoothly.
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No.
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- All right, guys. Right this way. - SELINA: Okay.
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Charlie... Baird.
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I just sometimes need a little banking task force.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 30
We're not looking at each other's hairdos. What's going on in Nevada?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 31
- Oh, my God! - This is favorable news.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 32
Stop with the Kabuki show and eat a fucking cookie.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 33
Ma'am, Tom James is here sans appointment.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 34
So, economy czar, kids' birthday parties, reflecting pool boy.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 35
Why did Tom James just wrap up his balls in butcher paper and put them in my purse?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 36
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I warn you, I had a pretty comprehensive White House tour on my fifth grade class trip.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 38
- No. - Where are they?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 39
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This is me. Uh...
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 41
I asked my sister to send me a change of clothes
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 42
- We're not in Vegas. - (LAUGHS)
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 43
- I think you... we started in there. - Yes, they're here.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 44
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And you need to know which hand to put the glove on.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 46
- He's from a different age. - When giants walked these halls.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 47
Charlie Baird is one of the great financial minds of our time
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 48
You went straight from here to O'Brien's hotel?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 49
- If O'Brien wins the election... - Okay, let's hear what this is.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 50
Thanks. Got to keep the old blood sugar up.
Aired 3 years ago - Apr 24, 2016

It's the day after the election, and Selina thinks she's found a path to victory. Meanwhile, Catherine starts making a behind-the-scenes documentary; Amy isn't sure if she's back on the team; Dan mulls a new career; and Mike and Wendy plan to adopt a baby from China.

Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 1
Amy! Jesus.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 2
- Ma'am. - What?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 3
- Oh, and big news. - Oh, God, O'Brien made a statement?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 4
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 5
have to pressure his mistress into before the people turn on him?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 6
that you look presidential right now.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 7
to a new POTUS account to talk directly to the American people.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 8
You're as welcome here as a swastika-shaped shit in a synagogue.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 9
- Oh, they all look alike to me. - What?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 10
Why were the exit polls so off?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 11
That is medically inaccurate.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 12
And the tea is cold.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 13
Ma'am, this is Special Agent Marjorie Palmiotti.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 14
um, only because I'm...
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 15
Excuse me, ma'am, if you... I'm sorry.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 16
- and therefore the presidency. - Oh!
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 17
Uh, we need to get ahold of our people in Nevada. Don't. Don't.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 18
Which is much harder 'cause you have so many different moods.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 19
Jonah, with me, please.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 20
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 21
- Good afternoon. - Good afternoon.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 22
by new developments in the state of Nevada.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 23
- What is this? - Did it pop? Did it pop?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 24
- Uh... - REPORTER: The Dow has dropped 986...
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 25
- Gary. - Yeah?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 26
Like an empty cop car they park on the side of the road to slow speeders.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 27
What is he doing? He knows that the military hates me.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 28
- You mean off the rails. - Oh.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 29
Oh, yeah.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 30
Hey, Danny boy. Saw you on TV last night.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 31
- It's from you? - Is it?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 32
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 33
- How are you? - I am good.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 34
Tom, stop it. You wanted to be Treasury Secretary.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 35
Tom, I'm asking you
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 36
Good morning, Amy. This is the president's schedule,
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 37
- No. I'm just chilling. - No? Mmm.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 38
with an exceptionally wonderful candidate for coordinating Nevada.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 39
Okay.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 40
Could you take care of this, Jonah?
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 41
and to my delight, he said yes.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 42
Right now you're about as toxic as a urinal cake in Chernobyl
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 43
Burns way more calories. I am at 22 flights today.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 44
And now you have to excuse me,
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 45
She's also got a mole near her Spanx line and it's hidden...
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 46
catastrophic mudslides in Idaho.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 47
I don't mean this to sound insensitive,
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 48
I'll show you out.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 49
Okay. Oh, good, Catherine. You're documenting this.
Recap of Veep Season 5 Episode 1 (S05E01) - 50