S13 E6
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Season 13  "Budget Auction"  13x6

Aired 10 years ago - Jul 26, 2009

Jeremy, James and Richard are each given a budget of £3,000 to buy at auction, a car built before 1982. They then drive to Majorca to take part in a classic car rally. AC/DC's Brian Johnson is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.

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That long, priapic bonnet
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Actually it doesn't feel like a pair of turbos.
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but since I'm now doing 140 mph...
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The best thing about this car, though,
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and flopping down on a sofa made out of Chuck Norris.
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that the whole car is pivoting around your hips.
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In fact, I'd rather have one of these
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(That is a brown Datsun.
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I'm on the straight and I'm UNLEASHING 326 horsepower!
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Eat my exhaust fumes dinosaur!
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a shortened, more powerful version of the old 350.
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especially when you look at all the equipment it has.
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So, In the 4th Gear, Yes, wanna change to The 2nd
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That's very simple and very clever. - I like that.
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It's got 26 more horsepowers for a kickoff.
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And even this GT version,
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THIS is a RACING hen!
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And it's not a nice noise, either.
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you'd never get invited to a wife-swapping party.
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you have to have to one of these for the rest of your life,"
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Some say that on Thursdays he becomes incredibly bulbous...
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.. and that recently pigs in Mexico have started to die of something called "Stig flu".
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And they're off! I have to say, these cars aren't really comparable.
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Yep, no problems at all.
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Hard to tell really with bagpipes. Anyway...
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But at least he's OK with the gear change
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So It's the Datsun got there, Follow-Through.
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The BMW kicking out its tail again!
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1 minute 28.2.
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less exciting, more expensive and less well-equipped.
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telling drivers to pull over at the next junction, get out
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It's like going to the cinema and a sign says, "
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"The railway station is next left. "-
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I tell you what. You know the Government announced earlier this week that 60,000 people
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swine flu is getting a bad press. Well... Have you noticed?
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but look at it this way, parking spaces for the rest of us will be easy to find.
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He looks like a male model. Look it is. He's absolutely magnificent to behold.
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of the man who runs Porsche. Here he is.
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"Yes! That's a good-looking car. We should make that. "
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cos VW can make a good-looking car - a good-looking sports car. In fact, remarkably,
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about two years. It's worth having a look at.
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but it's incredibly beautiful and, as a result,
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is it's got cameras in its head lamps. looking forward
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But it doesn't turn off when you're going along on the road.
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wow, choosing which one you want,
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You're not allowed to talk on a mobile phone these days
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got into London that other day, go on Holland Park a very pretty girl in the car behind.
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So it's got lech-o-matic?
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Last week, a piano was accidentally dropped on a Morris Marina as we were filming.
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were absolutely furious. They went berserk.
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Now that's what they said last time, OK?
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"If I see Jeremy Clarkson in the street,
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and shooting them through his own head!
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there was doubt as to who actually owned the car that you ended up driving.
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because Carla Bruni went to Nelson Mandela's birthday party in New York
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There was a yes over there. The thing is, though,
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which is famous for being nowhere near anywhere else in the world.
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be the usual series of small challenges but one big one.
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'where, inside the shed... ' All right, mate?
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At auctions in the past, normally I'm the one at the back, drunk out of my mind,
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Here we go. What is that?
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Who'll start me? 500? Quickly!
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I'm doing what they did in nightclubs in Yorkshire. 700, I'm bid.
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That's mine. You bought it?! madman! Look at the back of it
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and the first girl that's breathing you go to her and go,
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'The next lot was a tasty Ford Cortina. '
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I'm not sure. I want a convertible.
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'Several terrible cars came and went. '
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'And Top Gear's auction new boy went mad. '
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What are you doing? 3,400. 3,500.
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How much have I paid for it? GBP 3,600. I've got 600 of my own money in that?! Yes, sir.
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'unlike James, who, as car after car went by... '
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James, it's in budget. You like the colour.
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Did you just bid on that, you halfwit? Yes.
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but it's got the wrong engine so it's not worth much. Watch this.
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7,000... So, Captain Cautious, what are you gonna do now?
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What?! The very last lot.
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You've got no... 900 quid?
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It's a lovely colour. 1,500!
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Look at it in here.
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The first thing they're going to say is you're running on...
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'And it was a damn sight bigger than Jeremy's classic. '
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It's a hairy-chested man's car. No, that's the big Healey.
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'Still, at least my car wasn't medieval. '
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What a dismal racket.
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"on the sunshine island of Majorca. "
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My steering wheel's on the wrong side of the car.
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They're those ones where you have to get from A to B on difficult roads
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I dunno.
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and the hood here doesn't fit properly. Other than those tiny things,
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'I discovered something amazing. '
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they were making Hillman Humber Standard
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he was a coach builder. He built this car!
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'still not going very fast. '
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'Meanwhile, I was getting acquainted with Granddad's craftsmanship. '
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No. Granddad didn't do the gearbox. That's a Daimler gearbox.
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My granddad didn't build that bit. That was somebody else.
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Everybody knows a horror story about someone who bought a car at an auction.
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'Unlike Richard, whose MOT inspection was now finished. '
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It's a wonder you got here with it.
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Most of the shackle pins and bits and pieces are very badly worn indeed...
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I've had worse than that! Oh, blimey.
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it is time to put a star in our reasonably priced car.
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He is the lead singer with AC/DC.
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What a star! You've come!
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cos everybody knows Jagger, Daltrey, David Van Day.
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I think the band... It's just the way we do things.
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Cos when I said Brian Johnson's coming on the show to friends,
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We can live a normal life, you know.
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Mike, the helicopter pilot that went down.
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His pals knew that AC/DC were his favourite band,
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and took his shirt off and waved it out the window
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That is a fantastic story.
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Is that not...? Since I was a kid.
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It drove him nuts so he went to the scrap yard and got a steering wheel
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Although there was wallpaper up there, I couldn't see it.
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the original cars that you finally got once you were old enough, they were all what?
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which had a beige exterior and a salmon pink interior.
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You presumably go through the Mini phase at that point. Mini phase was very important
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I put them little spready things on the back wheels, and I put go-faster stripes on.
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You could get their...
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And obviously then AC/DC came along.
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I bought an old Triumph Roadster, 1948.
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I go for the paper in it, you know.
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Sometimes, you know, when you're going round a corner,
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Do you have a favourite road? Is that something you still...?
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there is a place is called Haydon Bridge,
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I've always had to get out and pee on the brakes.
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and he promised all the kids, he said, "Thanks for helping," cos they helped.
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Really a million. Yeah.
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and I went outside and there was this little concrete plinth
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They were really upset and the translator came and I'd just pissed on Sputnik.
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Er, a Phantom.
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When I turned 60, I thought, "I'm gonna get meself something special. "
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Yeah, aye, but...
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The best time I've had since I started.
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Yes!
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That was good. Nice and easy, like gravy.
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You're being smooth and violent at the same time,
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# Oh, you must remember this... #
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but you just looked quick. So.. Where do you think?
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so this is What, just about there.
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You did it in, well... One... forty...
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.. five... Oooh!point nine.
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Brian Johnson, everybody!
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Brian Johnson, 1:45,9,Brilliant!
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Great singing voice, nice chap,
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What a man! What a man!
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Earlier on, we bought three classic- cars from an auction.
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Anyway, we then discovered, after we'd bought the cars,
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for something called a Regularity Time Trial Rally, which was in Majorca.
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getting the Lanchester his granddad had built to work.
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On a classic rally, you need
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They've... I'm not worried.
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We weren't wrong. James had been given Madison Welsh
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No, I've never done it! Seriously?
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he is the president of the Balearic Motorsport Federation,
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The mountain... roads.
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no comprendo
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so the idea is we get points deducted for being early or late
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and then we saw the cars we'd be up against.
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10911s, 11, 12...
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And then we got even more bad news...
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we were out there. So, yeah.
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I don't know how this has happened. - I imagine it's James's fault,
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So, even before we'd started, we knew we had no chance of winning.
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I bet you?25
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with the wrong co-drivers and the wrong cars...
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Not got a lot to talk about.
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My speedometer is saying I'm doing 60mph when I'm doing about 30... No, 20.
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When we stop at the next bit I'll write down some speed and distance formulae for you
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You can use the two stopwatches,
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Actually, there is a slightly, um, oily smell.
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Hello?.. Hello!
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So we'll then have to go faster to make the... We will have to go a lot faster, and um...
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Jeremy, meanwhile, was getting into the spirit of amateur rallying.
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We then arrived at the first closed-road stage,
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This... at what speed? Quant o...
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It's difficult to do this without actually getting hold of the work of the divine potter.
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I decided to just do it flat out.
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'This made Joan very angry!'
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Tranquilo, tranquilo. Rapido.
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and that one is then timing it to the next one.
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Yeah.
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THUD Ouch! Suspension's good then.
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Can't see, can't... I've no idea.
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'which meant Joan had to do yet more sums. '
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But I bet the conversation in the bar at night is fun.
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'In fact, the only person enjoying this less than me
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and that is a decimal... What? It's 0.85. Times 0.85 by 60.
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'Brian and I had finally arrived at the first stage.
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So I'm driving about half the speed- my car can go in order to win.
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'To be honest, though, right now, my money was pretty safe. '
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There's hundreds of lefts in it.
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'Finally, we were doing our first stage. However,... '
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I'll tell you what's happening in front of us. It's straight ahead.
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Well, now, erm... OK.
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'James was now trying to charm Maddie with some romantic conversation. '
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I don't know what you're talking about.
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Just after lunch, we made it to the lunch stop,
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So, I've got 3,600 points, the lowest points worth.
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'To punish Jeremy for his smugness,
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because he won't be able to work out how to do that.
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I think it's in there. I can feel it.
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When I say short, I don't mean that... I'm not being rude.
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my lunchtime smugness was starting to look premature.
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'This meant I'd have to choose one gear for the stage,
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Dale, dale! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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I can't reach 50 kilometres an hour- on this. It's impossible.
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OK, if you say so.
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Anything to let me know about? No.
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Come on, you should talk to me.
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I'm losing the brakes. Perfecto. Vaya, vaya.
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We've finished. Yay! Yay! Is that good?
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7.46. Yep. Spot on.
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I just meant that's what it is.
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And a bad smell.
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'James and I had no problems though
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Please. Sorry, it's really lovely but I can't see the cars coming.
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Come on, please, traffic. Please, please.
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sit in a plastic chair by the side of the road, go to bed.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 259
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 260
'just hour after hour of pedal to the metal action.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 261
serving as a reference time for the following three rounds...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 262
If you break down on your first lap,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 263
Oh, God! Have you seen the oil raining off my chassis?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 264
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 265
he would kill us. Yes, he would.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 266
'And I decided, because the Healey was stuck in third,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 267
'James, obviously trying to impress- Maddie was being more vigorous. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 268
Your teddy bear on the spare wheel is not entirely helpful.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 269
Oh, the temperature's right up as well.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 270
'we were all starting to enjoy ourselves. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 271
you havenot to work for late You can be who you are,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 272
'the Lanchester seemed to be behaving as normal. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 273
We did that 29 seconds faster.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 274
was having 'the time of his life. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 275
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 276
'was run calm and steady.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 277
I've got a big Mustang up my trumpet.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 278
O- o-o-o-oh! Power!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 279
No-o-o, no-o-o, no-o-o!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 280
Ah-ha! You weren't ready for that!

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 2
That long, priapic bonnet
#2
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 3
Actually it doesn't feel like a pair of turbos.
#3
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 4
but since I'm now doing 140 mph...
#4
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 5
The best thing about this car, though,
#5
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 6
and flopping down on a sofa made out of Chuck Norris.
#6
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 7 #7 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 8 #8 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 9
that the whole car is pivoting around your hips.
#9
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 10 #10 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 11
In fact, I'd rather have one of these
#11
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 12 #12 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 13
(That is a brown Datsun.
#13
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 14 #14 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 15 #15 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 16
I'm on the straight and I'm UNLEASHING 326 horsepower!
#16
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 17
Eat my exhaust fumes dinosaur!
#17
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 18
a shortened, more powerful version of the old 350.
#18
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 19
especially when you look at all the equipment it has.
#19
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 20
So, In the 4th Gear, Yes, wanna change to The 2nd
#20
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 21
That's very simple and very clever. - I like that.
#21
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 22
It's got 26 more horsepowers for a kickoff.
#22
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 23
And even this GT version,
#23
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 24
THIS is a RACING hen!
#24
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 25 #25 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 26
And it's not a nice noise, either.
#26
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 27
you'd never get invited to a wife-swapping party.
#27
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 28 #28 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 29
you have to have to one of these for the rest of your life,"
#29
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 30
Some say that on Thursdays he becomes incredibly bulbous...
#30
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 31
.. and that recently pigs in Mexico have started to die of something called "Stig flu".
#31
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 32
And they're off! I have to say, these cars aren't really comparable.
#32
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 33
Yep, no problems at all.
#33
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 34
Hard to tell really with bagpipes. Anyway...
#34
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 35
But at least he's OK with the gear change
#35
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 36
So It's the Datsun got there, Follow-Through.
#36
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 37
The BMW kicking out its tail again!
#37
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 38 #38 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 39
1 minute 28.2.
#39
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 40
less exciting, more expensive and less well-equipped.
#40
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 41
telling drivers to pull over at the next junction, get out
#41
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 42
It's like going to the cinema and a sign says, "
#42
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 43
"The railway station is next left. "-
#43
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 44
I tell you what. You know the Government announced earlier this week that 60,000 people
#44
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 45
swine flu is getting a bad press. Well... Have you noticed?
#45
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 46
but look at it this way, parking spaces for the rest of us will be easy to find.
#46
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 47 #47 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 48
He looks like a male model. Look it is. He's absolutely magnificent to behold.
#48
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 49
of the man who runs Porsche. Here he is.
#49
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 50
"Yes! That's a good-looking car. We should make that. "
#50
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 51
cos VW can make a good-looking car - a good-looking sports car. In fact, remarkably,
#51
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 52
about two years. It's worth having a look at.
#52
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 53
but it's incredibly beautiful and, as a result,
#53
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 54
is it's got cameras in its head lamps. looking forward
#54
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 55
But it doesn't turn off when you're going along on the road.
#55
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 56
wow, choosing which one you want,
#56
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 57
You're not allowed to talk on a mobile phone these days
#57
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 58
got into London that other day, go on Holland Park a very pretty girl in the car behind.
#58
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 59
So it's got lech-o-matic?
#59
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 60
Last week, a piano was accidentally dropped on a Morris Marina as we were filming.
#60
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 61
were absolutely furious. They went berserk.
#61
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 62
Now that's what they said last time, OK?
#62
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 63
"If I see Jeremy Clarkson in the street,
#63
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 64
and shooting them through his own head!
#64
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 65
there was doubt as to who actually owned the car that you ended up driving.
#65
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 66
because Carla Bruni went to Nelson Mandela's birthday party in New York
#66
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 67 #67 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 68 #68 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 69 #69 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 70
There was a yes over there. The thing is, though,
#70
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 71
which is famous for being nowhere near anywhere else in the world.
#71
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 72
be the usual series of small challenges but one big one.
#72
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 73
'where, inside the shed... ' All right, mate?
#73
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 74 #74 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 75 #75 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 76
At auctions in the past, normally I'm the one at the back, drunk out of my mind,
#76
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 77
Here we go. What is that?
#77
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 78
Who'll start me? 500? Quickly!
#78
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 79
I'm doing what they did in nightclubs in Yorkshire. 700, I'm bid.
#79
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 80
That's mine. You bought it?! madman! Look at the back of it
#80
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 81
and the first girl that's breathing you go to her and go,
#81
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 82
'The next lot was a tasty Ford Cortina. '
#82
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 83
I'm not sure. I want a convertible.
#83
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 84
'Several terrible cars came and went. '
#84
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 85
'And Top Gear's auction new boy went mad. '
#85
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 86
What are you doing? 3,400. 3,500.
#86
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 87
How much have I paid for it? GBP 3,600. I've got 600 of my own money in that?! Yes, sir.
#87
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 88
'unlike James, who, as car after car went by... '
#88
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 89
James, it's in budget. You like the colour.
#89
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 90
Did you just bid on that, you halfwit? Yes.
#90
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 91
but it's got the wrong engine so it's not worth much. Watch this.
#91
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 92
7,000... So, Captain Cautious, what are you gonna do now?
#92
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 93
What?! The very last lot.
#93
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 94 #94 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 95
You've got no... 900 quid?
#95
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 96
It's a lovely colour. 1,500!
#96
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 97
Look at it in here.
#97
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 98
The first thing they're going to say is you're running on...
#98
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 99
'And it was a damn sight bigger than Jeremy's classic. '
#99
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 100
It's a hairy-chested man's car. No, that's the big Healey.
#100
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 101 #101 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 102
'Still, at least my car wasn't medieval. '
#102
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 103
What a dismal racket.
#103
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 104
"on the sunshine island of Majorca. "
#104
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 105
My steering wheel's on the wrong side of the car.
#105
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 106
They're those ones where you have to get from A to B on difficult roads
#106
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 107
I dunno.
#107
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 108
and the hood here doesn't fit properly. Other than those tiny things,
#108
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 109 #109 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 110
'I discovered something amazing. '
#110
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 111
they were making Hillman Humber Standard
#111
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 112
he was a coach builder. He built this car!
#112
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 113
'still not going very fast. '
#113
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 114
'Meanwhile, I was getting acquainted with Granddad's craftsmanship. '
#114
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 115
No. Granddad didn't do the gearbox. That's a Daimler gearbox.
#115
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 116
My granddad didn't build that bit. That was somebody else.
#116
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 117 #117 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 118
Everybody knows a horror story about someone who bought a car at an auction.
#118
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 119
'Unlike Richard, whose MOT inspection was now finished. '
#119
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 120
It's a wonder you got here with it.
#120
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 121 #121 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 122
Most of the shackle pins and bits and pieces are very badly worn indeed...
#122
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 123 #123 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 124
I've had worse than that! Oh, blimey.
#124
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 125
it is time to put a star in our reasonably priced car.
#125
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 126
He is the lead singer with AC/DC.
#126
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 127
What a star! You've come!
#127
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 128
cos everybody knows Jagger, Daltrey, David Van Day.
#128
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 129
I think the band... It's just the way we do things.
#129
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 130
Cos when I said Brian Johnson's coming on the show to friends,
#130
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 131
We can live a normal life, you know.
#131
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 132
Mike, the helicopter pilot that went down.
#132
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 133
His pals knew that AC/DC were his favourite band,
#133
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 134
and took his shirt off and waved it out the window
#134
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 135
That is a fantastic story.
#135
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 136
Is that not...? Since I was a kid.
#136
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 137
It drove him nuts so he went to the scrap yard and got a steering wheel
#137
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 138
Although there was wallpaper up there, I couldn't see it.
#138
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 139
the original cars that you finally got once you were old enough, they were all what?
#139
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 140
which had a beige exterior and a salmon pink interior.
#140
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 141
You presumably go through the Mini phase at that point. Mini phase was very important
#141
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 142
I put them little spready things on the back wheels, and I put go-faster stripes on.
#142
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 143
You could get their...
#143
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 144
And obviously then AC/DC came along.
#144
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 145
I bought an old Triumph Roadster, 1948.
#145
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 146
I go for the paper in it, you know.
#146
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 147
Sometimes, you know, when you're going round a corner,
#147
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 148
Do you have a favourite road? Is that something you still...?
#148
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 149
there is a place is called Haydon Bridge,
#149
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 150
I've always had to get out and pee on the brakes.
#150
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 151
and he promised all the kids, he said, "Thanks for helping," cos they helped.
#151
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 152
Really a million. Yeah.
#152
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 153
and I went outside and there was this little concrete plinth
#153
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 154
They were really upset and the translator came and I'd just pissed on Sputnik.
#154
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 155
Er, a Phantom.
#155
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 156
When I turned 60, I thought, "I'm gonna get meself something special. "
#156
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 157
Yeah, aye, but...
#157
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 158
The best time I've had since I started.
#158
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 159
Yes!
#159
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 160 #160 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 161
That was good. Nice and easy, like gravy.
#161
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 162
You're being smooth and violent at the same time,
#162
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 163
# Oh, you must remember this... #
#163
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 164 #164 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 165 #165 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 166
but you just looked quick. So.. Where do you think?
#166
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 167
so this is What, just about there.
#167
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 168 #168 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 169
You did it in, well... One... forty...
#169
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 170
.. five... Oooh!point nine.
#170
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 171
Brian Johnson, everybody!
#171
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 172
Brian Johnson, 1:45,9,Brilliant!
#172
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 173
Great singing voice, nice chap,
#173
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 174
What a man! What a man!
#174
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 175
Earlier on, we bought three classic- cars from an auction.
#175
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 176
Anyway, we then discovered, after we'd bought the cars,
#176
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 177
for something called a Regularity Time Trial Rally, which was in Majorca.
#177
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 178
getting the Lanchester his granddad had built to work.
#178
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 179
On a classic rally, you need
#179
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 180
They've... I'm not worried.
#180
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 181
We weren't wrong. James had been given Madison Welsh
#181
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 182
No, I've never done it! Seriously?
#182
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 183
he is the president of the Balearic Motorsport Federation,
#183
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 184
The mountain... roads.
#184
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 185
no comprendo
#185
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 186 #186 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 187
so the idea is we get points deducted for being early or late
#187
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 188
and then we saw the cars we'd be up against.
#188
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 189
10911s, 11, 12...
#189
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 190
And then we got even more bad news...
#190
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 191
we were out there. So, yeah.
#191
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 192
I don't know how this has happened. - I imagine it's James's fault,
#192
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 193
So, even before we'd started, we knew we had no chance of winning.
#193
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 194
I bet you?25
#194
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 195
with the wrong co-drivers and the wrong cars...
#195
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 196 #196 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 197
Not got a lot to talk about.
#197
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 198 #198 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 199
My speedometer is saying I'm doing 60mph when I'm doing about 30... No, 20.
#199
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 200
When we stop at the next bit I'll write down some speed and distance formulae for you
#200
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 201
You can use the two stopwatches,
#201
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 202
Actually, there is a slightly, um, oily smell.
#202
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 203
Hello?.. Hello!
#203
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 204 #204 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 205
So we'll then have to go faster to make the... We will have to go a lot faster, and um...
#205
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 206
Jeremy, meanwhile, was getting into the spirit of amateur rallying.
#206
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 207
We then arrived at the first closed-road stage,
#207
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 208
This... at what speed? Quant o...
#208
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 209
It's difficult to do this without actually getting hold of the work of the divine potter.
#209
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 210
I decided to just do it flat out.
#210
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 211
'This made Joan very angry!'
#211
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 212
Tranquilo, tranquilo. Rapido.
#212
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 213
and that one is then timing it to the next one.
#213
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 214
Yeah.
#214
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 215
THUD Ouch! Suspension's good then.
#215
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 216
Can't see, can't... I've no idea.
#216
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'which meant Joan had to do yet more sums. '
#217
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 218
But I bet the conversation in the bar at night is fun.
#218
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 219
'In fact, the only person enjoying this less than me
#219
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 220
and that is a decimal... What? It's 0.85. Times 0.85 by 60.
#220
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 221
'Brian and I had finally arrived at the first stage.
#221
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 222 #222 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 223
So I'm driving about half the speed- my car can go in order to win.
#223
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 224
'To be honest, though, right now, my money was pretty safe. '
#224
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 225 #225 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 226
There's hundreds of lefts in it.
#226
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 227
'Finally, we were doing our first stage. However,... '
#227
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 228
I'll tell you what's happening in front of us. It's straight ahead.
#228
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 229
Well, now, erm... OK.
#229
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 230
'James was now trying to charm Maddie with some romantic conversation. '
#230
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I don't know what you're talking about.
#231
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 232 #232 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 233
Just after lunch, we made it to the lunch stop,
#233
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 234
So, I've got 3,600 points, the lowest points worth.
#234
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 235
'To punish Jeremy for his smugness,
#235
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 236
because he won't be able to work out how to do that.
#236
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 237
I think it's in there. I can feel it.
#237
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 238 #238 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 239
When I say short, I don't mean that... I'm not being rude.
#239
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 240
my lunchtime smugness was starting to look premature.
#240
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 241
'This meant I'd have to choose one gear for the stage,
#241
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 242 #242 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 243
Dale, dale! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
#243
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 244
I can't reach 50 kilometres an hour- on this. It's impossible.
#244
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 245
OK, if you say so.
#245
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 246
Anything to let me know about? No.
#246
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 247
Come on, you should talk to me.
#247
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 248 #248 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 249
I'm losing the brakes. Perfecto. Vaya, vaya.
#249
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 250
We've finished. Yay! Yay! Is that good?
#250
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 251
7.46. Yep. Spot on.
#251
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I just meant that's what it is.
#252
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 253
And a bad smell.
#253
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 254
'James and I had no problems though
#254
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 255 #255 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 256
Please. Sorry, it's really lovely but I can't see the cars coming.
#256
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Come on, please, traffic. Please, please.
#257
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sit in a plastic chair by the side of the road, go to bed.
#258
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 259 #259 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 260
'just hour after hour of pedal to the metal action.
#260
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 261
serving as a reference time for the following three rounds...
#261
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 262
If you break down on your first lap,
#262
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Oh, God! Have you seen the oil raining off my chassis?
#263
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 264 #264 Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 265
he would kill us. Yes, he would.
#265
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 266
'And I decided, because the Healey was stuck in third,
#266
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'James, obviously trying to impress- Maddie was being more vigorous. '
#267
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Your teddy bear on the spare wheel is not entirely helpful.
#268
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Oh, the temperature's right up as well.
#269
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 270
'we were all starting to enjoy ourselves. '
#270
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you havenot to work for late You can be who you are,
#271
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 272
'the Lanchester seemed to be behaving as normal. '
#272
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 273
We did that 29 seconds faster.
#273
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was having 'the time of his life. '
#274
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'was run calm and steady.
#276
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I've got a big Mustang up my trumpet.
#277
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 278
O- o-o-o-oh! Power!
#278
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 279
No-o-o, no-o-o, no-o-o!
#279
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 280
Ah-ha! You weren't ready for that!
#280