Aired 9 years ago - Mar 16, 2014
Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May continue their journey in three ancient and barely functioning trucks, heading toward their final challenge - building a bridge over River Kwai in Thailand. Having climbed mountains and endured a
Burmese trucker stop, they must now venture into the Shan state, an area rife with civil war and normally closed to Western TV crews.
'Here, in a region that is bigger
than England and Wales put together,
So what the government is
essentially saying to these
He's off his face. Oh, dear.
'and we decided to make camp
in a small town.'
Well, apparently this
is as amazing as that in Burma.
Listen, help yourselves to a drink,
because I've had a thought.
This is a cicada, a cricket.
Literally the slowest
I've ever been.
He's broken my headlights, radiator.
My bull bar is broken. The mirror.
What is it, dried grass? Oh, relax.
That's not going to be a problem.
Oh, it's bad in here and it will be
worse in Jeremy's lorry.
How's your vertigo, May?
I'm not looking.
Don't say anything.
I don't think he's very happy.
19 miles of easy-going
on smooth roads.
to the lorry struggling and screaming
and straining to climb another hill.
"Work on the bridge starts at 0500."
Well, when I say Hammond and I...
all adding strength.
Alec Guinness made that very
plain in Bridge On The River Kwai
they would employ some local young
chap, cover him in jam,
I'll tell you what, I'm going
to sleep tonight. Absolutely.
But, with stronger cables, we soon
had my crane the right way up.
This side, the blue pegs, represents
how far we should have got by now.
Quickly, go! Let's get it.
I just don't get it.
'and we were desperate to get home
There was a guy called
I on the bridge over the River Kok.
but it is across and is bouncing to
celebrate the moment.
Aired 9 years ago - Mar 09, 2014
In the first of the all-new two-part special, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May are on a mission to build a bridge over the River Kwai in Thailand. However, in order to do so, they must first drive across a country that has been
largely closed to Westerners for over 40 years: Burma. The trio must make this trip in three trucks that have been bought for a limited budget. Unsurprisingly, they are not quite as the presenters might have hoped or expected…What follows is an epic journey of beautiful scenery, regular adversity, ongoing malfunction, and the constant bickering between the three hosts.
Seriously. You want to hear it?
Not really. I expect it's quite...
That's all they really grow here.
You've bought a heroin lorry.
You know they said long-distance
lorry driving? Yes.
ford disease-filled rivers
and attend a party which made
Our worst problem, however,
was that James was navigating.
How about five crisp English pounds?
Sorry. I don't think it will
go through there, mate.
Oh, my God!
'was rather more than
a Sunday afternoon movie.'
it would appear to be
full beam or off.
"We got a real tough job..."
They can shut up.
'and start again, but I fired him
as navigator and said
'Obviously, I didn't want
to admit this to my colleagues,
I think you've actually
caught your own lorry.
He thinks he's bought some heroin.
James, could you explain
the situation to him?
I can't go forwards.
Lots of wheel spin, sliding badly.
Three, two, one, now.
'toiled through the night,
Sports badging on the side.
On my viewing gallery. Hammond, it's
a bucket. It's... It's a bucket.
Wow, that's beautiful.
'we were able to have a game of
football in the middle of the road.'
Gaining. Gaining, gaining.
It has taken the water
about 15 minutes to fathom it out
Go slowly. OK?
'With the town behind us,
progress was good.
Well, it's your fault we're in
this situation. But I'm old and hot.
But there is diesel
in the next village.
The controls are reversed... I'm off!
'A mountaineering tent
he could suspend from his crane.'
Um, not bad. What about yours?
Aired 9 years ago - Mar 02, 2014
Richard Hammond is in Abu Dhabi to drive a new hybrid sports car from Porsche, the 918, and test to see if it has what it takes to beat McLaren's hybrid hypercar, the P1. Jeremy Clarkson and James May are tasked with shooting and presenting a safe
cycling public information film to an expert panel featuring Olympic gold medal-winning cycling legend Chris Boardman. Finally, Need for Speed and Breaking Bad star, Aaron Paul, is the 'Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.'
And I have an eight-speed gearbox
compared to his paltry six.
'And I decided immediately it was
a lot better in every single way.
Everything is exactly where you
would expect it to be. Organised.
You can feel the whole car being
Listen, from the point where
it suddenly snapped sideways for no
Thank you, Hammond.
Don't slip. Careful. Here she comes.
That is a quality product.
Isn't it? Isn't it? Oh, yeah.
there was a bit of a problem.
Well, that means you have
no use of those oven gloves,
In the olden days, the government
'Having come up with
a cracking idea,
No, we have one. No, two.
'John works hard, which means that
he can afford to drive a car.
Well... Is that what it's like?
but if you keep your eyes open
and you are courteous...
Yes, but it isn't true.
It is. It isn't.
So for example, the double
♪ Imagine there's no heaven... ♪
At one point I was clocked at 73mph.
I love them. Yes,
this is a big noise. Have a seat.
Like Bullitt and Vanishing Point
and Smokey And The Bandit.
We don't really have crystal
meth in this country. That's great.
But when you became more
and more successful,
With one pilot. And then they had to
see how that was, how it turned out.
I love doing that. It's great.
OK, good. So, where do you think you
came? I have no idea.
This is the ã650,000 Porsche 918.
It can't have done.
'You don't get either of those
on a P1.'
But, I'm here on this racetrack,
so let's go one further.
As for the P1, McLaren are saying
it has gone round in under
Aired 9 years ago - Feb 23, 2014
Jeremy Clarkson is in Italy to celebrate the return of the bespoke Alfa Romeo 8C. Richard Hammond is in the dunes of Abu Dhabi to drive a new six wheeled machine from Mercedes Benz – the G63 6x6 – which was originally developed for the Australian
military but, with the addition of some chrome trim and leather seats, is now available civilians willing to spend over half a million dollars! Meanwhile, James May makes a rare visit to the test track to try out two new models from British sports car maker Caterham, and comedian Jack Whitehall is the ‘Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.’
takes just 2.8 seconds.
'And it's not like you can get your
contain itself. It's like a teenager
left alone with the Internet. The
So the engine is much smaller but
Hakkinen. Oh, lovely! Look at me.
static papier mache one-off built
for a motor show stand.
That is the most idiotic idea in the
whole history of motoring, isn't it?
around like Mika Hakkinen. I was.
Yes, but you see Mika Hakkinen is a
a bit damp out there, that may slow
them down a bit. 620R building up a
We just have to wait now for James's
favourite car to finish. "The best
favourite car? Of those two, yeah.
America is quite... Heavy.
because, in America there is a
brilliant, posted this. "Oh my God!
Is that snow? We're all gonna die!"
it drip down the edges for a couple
of hours, then just draw a face on
came down here and caught fire. A
lot of people were very shocked by
Thank you, I love your gifts. We
don't often buy each other presents
establish... James, can I borrow
you? Yes. First of all we need to
Wouldn't do it to him.
Back then, there were coach building
One of the most striking,
That is quite a CV. In recent years,
however, they've been reduced to
you go over a bump, "Oh no, my nose
is going to fall off." Doesn't feel
And it certainly doesn't sound like
end up with a car that accelerates
like it's fallen off a cliff.
of sunglasses... And slow on down.
And pretty soon, you'll want to stop
I think it really is time now to
to die for. That is one hell of a
combination. It really is.
so, that's about 130... That's still
?600,000 for the car. Yes, I know.
that probably everyone in here
knows. Jeremy was a father at the
yesterday. There was one room, it
was a science lab. You were at one
it would be good to come and do
it... Here? Which, of course, meant
clutch and press this...
LAUGHTER. They would be perfect
all do, which I call "lavatory yoga"
where you work out how to keep the
LAUGHTER. Come on. 17th March. 17th
March? The 17th or 18th March. Like,
doesn't it? Yes, yes, yes, you're
still... To be honest, a lot of what
in mind that you arrived this
morning having driven a car once to
because this was woeful. Yeah, I
know! At least I'm on the board and
Ferrari or Lamborghini can no longer
cut the mustard. So what do you do
seats and doors. In this civilian
version, however, you get heated and
Oh, we're getting a move on! 560
pound-feet of torque. 0-60 in under
on his way again after he'd had a
look.' Bye! Lamborghini Aventador
Morning, sorry. Sorry. This is,
unless I'm very much mistaken, a
power split 30-40-30 across the
axles... Check. Stronger front
dunes... ..riding a sinew.
Come on! O-o-o-oh! No! BLEEP! I got
the top... Oh! Oh, very unpleasant,
of the tyres to give them a bigger
footprint. Now I'm going back on
car world's mad moments. A day off
from Priuses and Leafs. And even in
actually move. And I'd like to see
that one day, but now it is time for
Well, that is tremendous, it's
Aired 9 years ago - Feb 16, 2014
With Clarkson in a Volkswagen Up, Hammond in a Ford Fiesta and May in a Dacia Sandero, the trio embark on a long road trip to the Ukraine. When the hosts arrive in Kiev, they receive a truly fearsome challenge: to complete their journey by driving
through Chernobyl. Also, Jeremy Clarkson is testing the Zenvo ST, a Danish supercar with 1086 horsepower. Star in a Reasonably Priced Car welcomes back singer James Blunt, who attempts to beat his own lap time out on the track.
because who's going to say,
"No, I don't want a Ferrari
Now, this, according to
the - oops - chief engineer,
a cooling fan went wrong.
Some say that this week
he is wearing two layers of Nomex.
SINGING ON STEREO
I'm surprised they haven't
called The Giraffe...
It will lose.
because if you're interested in
speed and power and handling,
Bear with me on this.
"Go on, Liz! Declare war on
someone!" Can she really do that?
And to prove their point,
they came up with a challenge.
and when I say tiny,
I mean REALLY tiny.
'Sadly, at this point,
my dog impersonation was
Utter rubbish! Look at it!
It's like driving a cartoon!
we have loved our drive
on the wiggly road.
Yeah, it is your actual
under-a-mountain submarine base
Is that legal? No.
Where does it say "no parking"?
How's it go?
"from here in the far south to
the Belarus border in the north
That's the ticket. OK, great.
So, when are you getting married?
He said overrun and overpower,
definitely using some political
manoeuvring in his wording.
"to say how much I love that song,"
but she said, "I was so worried
there's a real world out there,
It wasn't a large American Cadillac?
No. Get one of those next time.
Everyone says you're not allowed
to lift off and so I tried not to.
Here we go, right, coming up to
the Follow Through again. So slow.
Not nearly as wet as me. So come on,
where do you think you come?
Now, tonight we are trying to prove
that we really do like small cars,
We've only done that. We've only
driven over the Isle of Wight.
'some business questions.'
They're all over the back.
They've crapped everywhere.
I'm afraid not. You can't change
your mind about the card you chose.
That's easy! "Your challenge is to
run out before you get there." Eh?
in each tank, we did some
preparations of our own.
Second gear. Right to the limiter.
God, that's wasteful.
It has a half-life, material that's
left, of 245,000 years.
so it will assume it's very cold,
the fuel quality is bad,
It's one degree out there.
Nipples are sticking out badly.
But who would film
what happened afterwards?
Aired 9 years ago - Feb 09, 2014
Richard Hammond is on the shores of Lake Como testing the exciting new Alfa Romeo car against Jeremy Clarkson, who’ll be riding a quad bike. Meanwhile, James May is at Camp Bastion in Afghanistan looking at the incredible efforts behind the army's
largest vehicle redeployment since the Second World War. Finally, Thor actor Tom Hiddleston is on the track as the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.
Because it's not like anything
Hammond was wrong.
My legs were fine,
Oh. God. No, wait.
and back up the other side.
Oh, come on, I can't lose this!
But I don't want to beat that
Alfa Romeo, because, to me,
Your question is answered.
"Normal swimwear does not adequately
protect against forceful
on fuel efficiency and emissions
and so on,
Then there's... hi, to a friend.
And... Call Jeremy Clarkson.
as you drive past.
That's a really good idea.
outside your house.
Are there any Americans here? Whoo!
But the worst country in the world for
filling up with petrol is Britain,
I suspect women try to make sure
their handbag doesn't fall over,
'in Afghanistan has become,
and that weird-looking thing with the
tracks on over there, that is a Warthog.
'In 2009 alone, 79 soldiers
fell victim to such devices.'
'So a night-vision system
'But Afghanistan threw up another
issue that needed sorting.'
Absolutely nothing at the moment.
So they're out there somewhere.
'For some poor souls,
the new machinery came too late.
Daley, Jones and, of course,
Mas the Tank Engine.
I bought it with my first pay
check for some TV work that I got
We're more focused.
And we were up, banking right,
and I was leaning out the window,
Cos you have to fail if you're the
baddie. That's probably what it is.
Have you had him on the show?
in the UK, I think, on the 21st of
February, and it's basically a love story.
Three, two, one...
Right, could you see
the lines at the Hammerhead?
Ron Howard - that was dry.
the world has ever seen.
Belgium has three times
as many roads
It is, frankly, as well equipped
as a pair of monk's underpants.
OK. OK, let me
just slow it down while I explain
and you're gone.
The wheels are made
from military-grade aluminium.
the car is working on ways of going
Aired 9 years ago - Feb 02, 2014
The team attempt to prove that the hot hatchbacks of their youth were better than their modern equivalents by buying ‘classic’ examples of the breed and completing a series of challenges. After tackling a tricky hill course, they arrive at an army
training ground in Wales where their ageing cars must evade the heavily armed Top Gear Police Department. Downton Abbey's Hugh Bonneville is the star in the Reasonably Priced Car.
This was just 800 quid.
I mean, 800 quid! For a Golf GTI!
brake pads. Has it? Which means it
That one was white.
Hang on. I don't know what it says.
Because you need your glasses?
It's not the Stig, is it? No. No,
it's not the Stig.
Hold on, I'm just going to shut my
And now, back down!
May, perhaps not surprisingly, 50.4.
on the A451,
just outside Kidderminster.
It's lightweight construction,
Plans are being drawn up, right,
to fine the owner of a car,
The cars have to have 1.6 litre
engines, narrower wings
It's not a Dacia...
Actually, no. I suspect you've
effectively hidden your keys
The producers had laid out a course
around the aisles of a supermarket
Oh, no! I've got Rich Tea biscuits,
ENGINE REVS AND TYRES SQUEAL
Oh, my God. I think this is what
George Michael was trying to do.
They were better.
Just much better. Music was better.
Hammond... No, what?! Hammond...
But it is tonight's
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.
FYR495J on the Volvo 124.
I got a shovel
and I started digging,
No, I don't. I currently have
an XC90, a Volvo XC90. A fine car.
Exactly. Go away! Back in your box!
Well, yes and no. How's that?
you're not allowed in there
I refused to get out, I wanted
to go again and again.
Which means you're the first guest
ever to guess correctly...
Having crossed the Severn Estuary
we soon arrived at the location.
James and I broke out
the TGPD pursuit vehicles
and lined up his velvet Golf
on the start line.
How's that going to help?
"He did crash into me at speed."
The time has come, I think,
to deploy the Top Gear Police
Department drone of intrusiveness.
This was designed primarily
for mine clearance, but in the TGPD,