Girls

Hannah receives some news; Marnie divulges a secret to Shoshanna; Jessa's boss asks her for a favor.

Fuck.

I got into Iowa Writer's Workshop,

So think about it.

Oh, well, fine. Well, why don't you just go?

You hired me because you knew I could get you drugs.

I'm in so much pain, Jessa.

S as in Sam, H as in Hank, A as in apple, P as in paltrow...

That doesn't make any sense.

because my fucking cunt of a Glaciology Professor

I couldn't motivate, couldn't do it, didn't do it.

But there's just something I feel like you should know.

But I was hoping we could just...

Oh, honey, that is amazing.

have been a total wash, we can all admit that.

We'll figure it out.

The security guard tried to stop me, but Desi let me in.

it's made me want to thrive.

We can figure it out, and then we can be one of those artist couples...

I haven't been to a Broadway show

- Happy opening night. - Oh, thank you.

You'll see.

What's the matter?

I'm gonna be back and forth. I'll be bicoastal.

I've predicted two of my friends' divorces,

But if memory serves, you're the one who jettisoned me a while ago.

and I want to be with you again.

Shosh, look, I'm eternally grateful to you

It's not a matter of...

- Hannah? - An intelligent working man?

Yes, intelligent beyond the station of life

Let's come every night.

You know what? Can you cut the shit, please?

Not anymore, you're not.

It's just a different route to the same thing.

Well, I didn't want to do it.

The fucking celebrities that come to these things are nuts.

- She's so cute in real life. - Kinda douchy, though.

Okay, do you live in, like, a parallel universe?

Well, I'm sick of trying to work it out.

Hannah and Elijah have dinner with Patti LuPone; Jessa looks for a job; Hannah, Shoshanna and Elijah attend Marnie's performance.

Yeah, sure. I was about to head off to bed anyway, so I'm gonna do that.

So, where are the bananas?

I will play on my iPhone on silent.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Yeah, as long as all the stuff is level, then I think we're good.

- Bye-bye, sweetie. - Bye, Sooj.

that I studied your work when I was in school.

No, it is true.

She doesn't suck.

Because I have to go fix my fucking Patti Lupone interview.

But there's a number of things you can't do.

It's gonna be you and me working out some material, no stress.

Let's just keep it loose, all right?

and I got in a fight with Zeva about her post-grad trip to Lisbon.

I'm gonna go do a hair mask. I love you.

I've given you, like, 33 chances to be in my life, okay?

So I was never an underdog.

- Yeah, relax. - Relax.

I just want some space and I'm sick of fucking explaining it.

Cut bait.

God, I love this place.

He wanted to write, so he is very far from his passion.

But here's something that comforts me.

What the fuck are we doing here?

Wanna talk about your situation?

How about that?

I just expect more from life.

- Maybe we're all hung up like someone's... - Hannah.

Then how did you get this job?

- This is your work? - Yeah.

I am, you know, gonna be on my way, looking for work.

Okay, yeah. You're not a junkie thief, are ya?

♪ All these one-offs leave me Feeling kinda lonely ♪

There's nobody out there.

You know I have a girlfriend, right?

Marnie, we love you!

♪ Spinning out of control ♪

♪ You can bet on me ♪

Thank you.

And you added some really interesting textures and colors.

You're saying I'm sweet. I'm saying you're sweet.

Okay, I'm not, but I do think we should try to nail down

So he decides his choice is that he is going to climb the fourth wall.

Hannah worries about her relationship with Adam; Marnie starts working at an art gallery; Shoshanna surprises Jessa.

Finding an archiving system that works,

But for the cred and intrigue of the gallery, I'm gonna tell people I'm 22.

I mean, I barfed. Were you worried about me?

So, you think up or down looks better?

- What? -(lNHALES SHARPLY)

I'm obviously coming to rehearsal.

where I just write little, like, ideas and thoughts down.

(SINGING) There's nothing I can say now

We're gonna do something. I'm gonna play and you just sing.

(MAKING SILLY WARM-UP SOUNDS)

(VOICE CRACKING) This thirsty, thirsty thirst, girl

He's like the godfather of all,

(SHOUTING) Shoshanna!

His daughter lives right here in New York,

- Who are you? HANNAH: Me?

You know, I'm at work and, you know...

That romance, that mystery, that thrill...

- Are you serious? -I was just, like, part of his routine.

make him remember why we love each other.

- Okay. I gotta go. -Okay, I love you, bye.

Yeah, you said that.

No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no.

See? See what this does? What I do to you?

Fuck!

- I don't know him. I'm freaking out. -(LAUGHS)

I know you think your father has a disease.

Right now he is, but you can't imagine how beautiful he can be.

She misses you so, so much. She told me so herself.

This is hopeless, as usual.

- Well, I gave up on my father months ago. -Shh!

I don't mind drug addicts.

Well, it's just where my husband puts me up.

He worries about me, a lot.

- Skin, too. -lt's humiliating...

No, no, I'm Kim,

- Hannah, what the fuck? -l'm a writer, too, you know.

It wasn't all creepy and thought through like this.

- You can! be, like, the body police. -(ADAM HUFFS)

If the sex we were having wasn't working for you, I'm fucking sorry.

Hannah gets a strange request from her mother while visiting her grandmother in the hospital; Hannah has a drink with her cousin.

What are you talking about? We're here all the time.

where the two of you would have some kind of breakthrough.

- Just consider it? Please. - Mom, no. No.

that her father was convicted of insider trading.

Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.

I left because I just want to remember her as she was.

Great about med school. So exciting. How are the, like, hot doctors-to-be?

And, anyway, now I'm fulfilling my dream of having someone I can text

I just, like, have a lot of studying to do

She fucking has Demerol?

All right, let's put some more Post-its on things.

Well, that's all I'm asking for. I'm not asking for anything else.

ADAM: (OVER PHONE) Is your mom okay?

Why would she want you to lie?

-...that you were thinking about, too. She wants to read Act 2.

and it might seem like l was angling to have it,

I have the oldest granddaughter.

Wow, don't you look all fancy?

Then why did you want to go to a bar?

He insider traded, okay? It wasn't like he sex trafficked.

so I'm missing our night this week, but...

and he was exhausting to be around,

and, you know, jump in a lake and have inside jokes about our grandmother

Why would I have to be funny to understand them?

Oh, really? ls that why you made me touch my chachi with you?

It's Mom. Grandma has a fever.

she has made it very clear to me that she would like us to let her go naturally.

- and ludicrous thing to say. - (LAUGHS) Oh, is it?

Tad Horvath, catch of the fucking century.

- I don't want to kill Mommy! - You have got to be quiet.

- Hannah. - Hi.

- No, I'm. .. - Next year.

Someday you will look at him, hating him with every fiber of your being,

And we're happy.

- Love you, too. - (KISSES)

- Wait, what? - You know.

He's odd, he's angry.

The doctor was very pleased about this this morning.

(SIGHS) We have to be.

During a GQ advertorial interview, Patti LuPone warns Hannah that Adam's new career path may cause unexpected problems. Meanwhile, Jessa's boredom at work is interrupted by a surprise visit from an old acquaintance. Later, Hannah is assigned to review the Gramercy Park Hotel, and the group celebrates good news with Adam's new friend Desi, whom Marnie finds particularly captivating. MORE -LESS

Congratulations. You got it.

Just five minutes before we were supposed to do it,

it's just gonna say "sponsored by Strenova."

- Five years. - Okay, five years.

Sleeping.

She's only given me seven minutes so... okay, bye.

How about you? What are you up to now?

but it's just so freeing to be your own boss, you know?

Sounds... yeah, maybe I will.

and in other ways, he has not yet been born.

Your boyfriend, if he is sexual in any way,

"I'm gonna surf a pipe, dude."

'Cause we were planning a little celebration tonight

Beautiful little dust bowl orphan. I love it.

I have a job, I eat lunch every day, and I make transactions and I get paid.

That's not who we are.

It's not that nice. How much do you get in incidentals?

Also, I'm getting so sick of people acting like Adam's newfound success in this arena

I want to meet a girl that I have a lot in common with

To humiliate the girl that you couldn't get in high school?

What the fuck is...

I'm not what you would call a "One Tree Hill" fan,

- You wouldn't do that. - You would never do that.

Ha! That is a fucking closet.

Okay, what's wrong?

because it means a lot to those people.

See? "Attempts." Don't do that. Seriously. Don't deprecate yourself.

All right, I should really hit the trail.

- Hi, hi. - Shosh, so great to... Mwah... see you!

who think accumulating degrees amounts to a meaningful life.

Is this living or is this living, my flower?

No.

Hannah and her friends go on a weekend getaway; Hannah runs into Elijah and invites him to the beach house.

so I went ahead and assigned the rooms.

Not funny.

I can't go in open water unless I'm menstruating.

Should we start the healing now in this horrifying wind tunnel?

We'll be in the wicker shop.

Um, you know, we're just staying at a friend's house

and what are you doing? And what's wrong with her?

She's just, like, walking around, bossing everybody around

So, I gained 25 pounds, but then I lost 30 pounds.

- What? - I cannot believe you invited them.

Pal is a theater publicist.

- I think they are so sweet. - And thank you.

Really, I mean it.

So you're, like, in love with him.

Yeah, no, he's great. He's really great.

Otherwise, I'd be a pounded-out piece of meat.

You are way skinnier than Sadie.

and starts packing up his things.

Anyway, his business went under or some shit.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Old man Ray? - Yeah.

- Who else is fucking starving? - You should just drink more.

You're a good friend.

I just think I have abandonment issues, if I'm being totally honest.

I went to seize that space,

Pick one.

- Hi. - Oh, hello.

I'm not saying break up with him.

Yes, you and I did, but the four of us didn't.

Wait, wait, wait. What's this, a fucking kid's meal?

Isn't it so good?

- Come on, you're the best one. - Ladies, can we do this?

♪ now I'm blue... ♪

♪ whoo-whoo. ♪

Yeah, I would say overall, though, your performance was pretty good.

We're in the North Fork, Boo. They don't have domino's.

listening to you talk about how you bruise more easily than other people.

You guys never listen to me.

This trip, if we had done anything I planned.

I've never talked to you that way.

I've been on this planet for 25, and I'm not showing any signs of changing.

I'm so fucking sick of all of you.

When have I ever been disrespectful of you?

I just wanna feel comfortable...

- No. No, no, no. - Then I don't want to lead you on.

Hannah gets a job writing advertorials; Shoshanna reconsiders her break up in light of Ray's success; Ray and Marnie clash.

It's a cappuccino, Dean. It's not a cup of chino.

This is she. May I ask who's calling?

Yeah, that was--

Look, I'm trying here, okay?

- Hey. - Hey.

cocaine

Yeah, but I wouldn't call this a corporate job.

Anyway, enough blabbering.

- So help yourself. - Oh, I don't know.

Ray really seems to have the respect of his peers on the court.

And I know that that was a personal choice,

- I guess so. - What does he do?

Great. All right. So reiterating once again,

Other left.

She's so taciturn and guarded and complicated.

but we're running a little low.

Well, have you ever seen reality television before?

This is all free.

Give us a smile and say your name."

I just like reading emotional cues from strangers

- Marnie. - Shh, shh.

Come on, dude. What's your problem?

You look like someone I dated who I hated even while I was dating them.

- Word. - You're really gonna make a name for yourself.

And Karen has had some great pieces in "n+1."

No health insurance, no dental, no corporate gym membership.

I have been there and I have done that.

Okay, you're getting off topic.

Sure, Hannah. Come on in. Have a seat.

All right, Hannah. There's a lot of other people

- Oh, that's like... - Yeah, that's nothing.

That's not even a little bit racist.

How dumb is that?

Okay, I love Africa!

- Is that what you do? - Yeah, that's what I do.

Hannah attends the funeral of her editor; Hannah tries to help Adam and Caroline work through their issues; Jessa makes some positive changes; Ray gives Marnie advice.

Can we go now, please?

You thought he was gay.

- David was wonderful. - Oh, I bet.

- Have you seen Pepper? Did you meet her? - No, I didn't, no.

Okay, um, if I do give you another name,

Can you believe that my friend told me that she died

Plus, my recent hijinks have really taken a toll on my GPA.

...conditioner later and then it's deodorant.

Oh, my God.

There is no working this out.

by acknowledging that we all really care about each other.

words like "skank," "fatty."

with some of your issues with me.

I'm not on anyone's side.

you need to do more than just, like, smoke Dorff cigarettes.

Okay, it was an actor last week.

You are doing really good.

and stop bloodsucking.

No one is saying you do.

Feliz cumpleaños. Great!

And so I took the cutest one.

- Joan Didion. - No, Mo.

You wish, Mo. Anyway, the book obviously needs some work.

Well, I don't know. Kathy Griffin's not exactly...

Yeah, it's not half as bad as Hannah said it was.

Yeah, so I guess I just wanted you to, um...

I'm smelling a trap here.

Yeah, you came in here and immediately insulted me and my neighborhood.

So much so that even when you try to connect and be sincere,

But, that being said, I still like you.

Look...

Well, that is... that's great, love bug.

on any of the books they acquire for, like... for three years.

and talk all this over with him.

That was really helpful when you talked to me.

Go fuck yourself.

I am so sorry. You poor thing.

When I made out with the Cuban refugee,

and your acting career is over.

Can you try shutting the fuck up?

Hannah tries to process an untimely death; Jessa tracks down an old friend; Marnie discovers a video that Charlie posted online.

and we've also not yet been born.

My editor, David. He's dead.

I mean, just amidst all that chaos and insanity, I left.

You knew someone. Like, really knew him.

'cause there are no stands and you know that.

Okay, when you die, how would you feel if a bunch of judgmental creeps,

It's a web portal that celebrates the written word.

Why are we fighting about this?

Hmm. Sad.

and I used to love her a lot.

Like, when Kelly died, I wrote a book of poems about her.

I'm gonna go work an extra shift at Ray's.

- RAY: Jesus. - Thank you.

on this fat-free muffin of sociopathic detachment?

I thought the halls could use a little art.

I was a drug addict, and you were a total enabler.

- Hi. - Hey.

I'm gonna grab some OJ.

Here is your tricolore, and here's your...

What's up? I was just showing Herm your music.

It's about knowing... What you are.

(SIGHS) Okay, Marnie, maybe you should take the rest of the day off.

No idea whatsoever.

(THERE'S A BEAST AND WE ALL FEED IT PLAYING)

You know, medication did make me feel less.

See, when I was doing so badly, I couldn't see outside myself,

Did Adam ever tell you about Margaret?

next to her hospital bed holding her hand, playing with her.

told his girlfriend that he wasn't gonna take her to the dance,

she was clutching the wilted corsage he had given her in one hand

What's wrong with you? Nothing's wrong with me.

using your gay phone app,

Adam's eccentric sister arrives unannounced; Marnie becomes controlling over Hannah's 25th birthday party; Ray settles into his new role as manager at the new restaurant.

We have all that fancy soap I stole from my parents' hotel.

Season 3, Episode 3 "She Said OK"

I could, like, text you my driver's license or something.

I really apologize for losing my temper at you.

I understand. It's totally okay, Hannah.

I have recently become just keenly aware

Did I mention the drug test we require of all new employees?

The fact is, Ray, I won't be spouting platitudes much longer.

Life can be terrifying, even if you're not sick.

All right. If it's really that simple, I can do that.

Oh, um, this is Adam's sister, Caroline.

We're paying for all of the liquor until 10:00 PM.

I love your hat.

- I'll be back. - Sorry.

- Hi. - You look... amaze, birthday girl.

Oh, my God, we sang "Take Me or Leave Me."

and then he, like, put it on YouTube and he was like, "Ta-da."

Don't... I don't want to read... I don't read comments.

I'm not fucking dancing.

I said I'm not really in the mood to talk to...

I like your style.

- On the street? - This girl is crazy.

I really hear you, but she's being fine tonight,

- Shosh, hey. - Hi.

It's nice to have running water and drapes and stuff.

Yeah, we got eight new employees, which I hired directly.

I don't wanna be polite with you, I don't wanna have small talk with you.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- Honey. - Hey. Hi.

I am prominently featured in many of Hannah's essays.

Just try it. Try it out. And you will go and get the water.

Um, it means a lot that you're all here,

Because that's what DJs do. We switch from one song to another.

So if you could come on up here and join me, that would be great.

♪ Every single day I walk down the street ♪

- Be off. - It's a breach!

- How does it work? - I'll tell you the way it works.

Do you? It's the only thing separating us from the animals!

I work out. Come on, let's hug it out.

Oh, no, no. It's not about your voice. It's something small.

Did Caroline leave on her own or was she kicked out

It's my tooth.

Hannah, Shoshanna and Adam take a road trip; Marnie moves into her own place; Hannah seeks inspiration to meet her editor's deadline.

You're too young to understand which thoughts are useless to you.

- Mmm- hmm. - I feel the utmost sympathy for my daughter.

Um... My favorite utensil is...

so maybe you can just order me pancakes and, uh, turkey bacon.

Well, what would you rather have, kimchi or a Sephora? (SNIFFING)

All of us are, Adam and Shoshanna and me.

Well, since when does Jessa follow the rules?

Oh, my God, no. Of course not. I just didn't want anyone to go.

She is going to freak when she sees that I have one.

I don't know, various media. It's like a Don Henley song.

Oh, yeah, no, it's fine. I've totally seen this one a bunch anyways.

Do you guys want to play Truth or Dare?

Okay, do not, like, share a bunch of really good truths

Okay, I dare you to go to the ice machine...

- and we kiss all the time. - (EXCLAIMS)

Yeah. Um...

Okay, but we're in the room with another person, so...

Why are you being so grumpy?

I don't know. Maybe now he'll actually let me sleep.

- You think Jessa has nothing to worry about? - Mmm-mmm.

Uh, yeah, like, totally cool. It's, like, a rite of passage for celebrities.

but she has a deep well of sadness inside her that most people don't detect.

and, you know, donut holes and shit,

'cause that's how badly she doesn't want to be left alone.

I hate to break it to you, but school is the best gig you'll ever have.

And it's really liberating to say no to shit you hate.

No, like, you seem like you genuinely like helping people.

(SIGHS)

including a sheriff who was trying to do right by marijuana growers.

...told us she slept with her brother-in-law.

That was before my bag of stash ran out.

There we go, my baby.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

You understand your sister has been removed from our program for various offenses,

Sure, I just need to check with the police and make sure they're okay with that.

There's an airport?

At your father's house with no way to get home.

And so I just wish you would get it that this is not okay behavior for a friend.

Shoshanna tries to balance her time at college between sex and studying, while Marnie must accept she and Charlie are through. Also, Adam and Hannah and host a dinner party.

I just didn't understand

and being told that she's all you need.

- ANGIE: But you could be. -Fucking shit.

-and like he doesn't love his own mother? -His own mother.

- You're gonna give it spoiled formula. -Dead. Gross.

Because I am fucking sick of talking about him.

- I gave you my middle name, Marie, -(SIGHS)

But one that you would actually want to watch.

JOCK: Mindy. Mindy.

He's trying to think of the saddest thing he can think of and it's not that sad.

Or my mother, how she can't even go to the bathroom on her own?

Kelvyn over here is a dark horse of society.

- She's in charge. -(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

I haven't done drugs. Um, I've made some friends,

And I think we should launch the first chapter on Nerve.com.

Like, I hold the keys to the prison that is my mind.

It could be. It could be very important.

That's not how he works. Plus, he takes care of me.

I can't tell you how brave you're being by sharing that.

I just feel like you're being a bit whiny.

when you haven't once said how you feel about how you have feelings.

Fuck you, hairstyle.

I don't want to do this.

and come back and find me in a good mood

I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. It's just we need some shared experiences.

You have the accent of a little girl

- I did her that favor. -(LAUGHS)

- I do not have daddy issues. -Please, we all have them.

Yes, you.

I had a weird uncle. He was gay,

I think.

- It sounds smart and strong and feminist. -SHOSHANNA: Mmm-hmm.

I sort of feel like Charlie's gonna just materialize in a couple of months

You know, it just didn't seem... We're not really friends.

Thank you so much, my love. Why don't we have some chips?

Cheers to your fucking book, Hannah, really. (CRYING)

remembering the first time we fucked on my couch

Anyone can have that.

It was basically charity.

Are you a method actor researching a role?

(BOTH MOANING)