Girls

Hannah, Adam and Jessa try to convince Caroline and Laird to forgo their planned home birth; Shoshanna is presented with a unique job opportunity; Ray tells Desi what he really thinks about him.

We have a great team of expats working in Tokyo,

But I get a lot of visual aids from the Internet

pretty much the minute she's on a manic upswing. So...

Wow, glad you made it.

So I'm gonna head back upstairs. Bye.

- Congratulations. - Desi: Thank you.

just trying to FaceTime with Piper and she's only three.

No, no, let's just pretend we're all doing this together in a garage somewhere.

(beeping)

'cause I'm exactly the kind of person that needs to know

and I don't expect everybody here to...

Douche.

Okay, now you're talking about my fiancée,

dazzling in her complexity, maddening in her mystery,

Keep your fucking blood money.

Anyway, it's gonna be really great.

- Okay? - Just... what?

Uh, how can it be crazy, Hannah?

We got it on lockdown.

Maybe, yeah. Maybe I would.

That's his life. We're no longer part of it.

What, does that... does that not make sense?

You don't want to be dependent on some guy, some nerd.

(Caroline moaning loudly)

I think something is really wrong.

I think it's pretty self-explanatory.

I need you to check, okay?

Oh, God!

We're not married, okay?

Jessa: I'm gonna walk out the room,

No, but, I mean, I'm sure he'll be here any second.

(moaning)

No, I mean, like, madly disappointing.

What?

I can't just do them alone.

(applause)

♪ And never look back, and when we grow old ♪

- Thank fucking God. - What is it?

Well, you said more than words.

- ♪ That now it cannot be denied... ♪ - I'm going to become a therapist.

- Umbilical cord. - Umbilical cord.

and you can kinda live with it, I think.

Yeah, I'm...

Okay. (sniffles)

Hannah is confronted with a family dilemma and Marnie makes an announcement at Ray's campaign party.

we broke up, and I've been navigating the choppy waters ever since.

That's right. That's what Jeremy told me.

you and Jake were out in Prospect Park and he made you a flower crown.

I've had sex with a gay man.

What'd you ever learn on the mean streets of Parks...

Well, yeah, but would it have really been fair to her or to

- it's not suitable for a child's eyes. - But, see, the thing is you need to be

You think I wanted to know anything about it? I mean, that is a

Look, you got a lot of stuff going on. Why don't you take the rest of the day off

Look, you're the one who wanted to day drink, so just man up.

- You told me Barack Obama was gay. - He reads bi.

that it's just all in his head

No, I'm trying so hard to be open and accepting,

It's a lot of cargo pants, I would think.

I couldn't get hired to give away free blowjobs at a bus station.

looking a little bit more like Muammar Qaddafi, so

like you're talking about your life than mine.

And you guys can, you know, look at some magazines or something.

Don't call Janet. She doesn't get any of this.

- You all right? - Yeah.

Oh, okay... oh, yeah, it's still there.

and we just wanted to say hi.

I mean, Dinkins, Giuliani. It's like night and day.

I think we should, uh, maybe not tell anyone about our little secret yet.

- Thank you. - Good job.

And also I just wanted to make sure it wasn't gonna be weird.

- It's crazy. - Unbelievable.

- Hannah, look what I did. - You sure did.

when you're, you know, my daddy.

who knows what the future holds?

boundaries.

It might not be serious yet, but Jessa really wants to have babies.

I mean, this involves... Adam, you wanna join this convo, buddy?

I can't deny that I really want Ace back.

but I'm sure you'll probably make some really shitty art about it.

What the fuck are you talking about?

Hey, hey, hey, do you like your cake?

Thanks, Ted.

Ladies and gentlemen, please help me in welcoming

- (cheering) - We don't... we don't need to do it again.

Even if it doesn't seem like a perfect fit,

If you take a wrong turn, I'll be here.

- (cheering) - (music playing)

Um, I'm okay.

I'm fucking busy.

Hannah spends an afternoon with a new friend; Marnie and Desi argue over money; Jessa gives Shoshanna advice; Loreen and Tad have a tense dinner party with their friends.

when he Facebook messaged me.

He is hot.

Oh, my God, Cleo, you are so wise.

Thinking second album, third album.

Whoa, I'm, like, so super confused right now, babe.

I cannot believe you're being such a fuckin' bitch about this.

you have been unemployed with a sandy, broken vagina.

Shoshanna, I have four fucking suicide attempts under my belt,

it's gonna be a chill process, for sure.

- so just pull this hand down. - Ow! Ow! Ow!

Cleo, it looks so good.

to talk about the upcoming election?

- Oh, not if I see you first. - Not if I see you first.

Sure.

Crickets and tumbleweeds, that's what I got.

Ray, you are going to find somebody, I promise,

No one likes it.

That was not the way that I wanted to act.

Uh, I can't do that.

To lead a calmer life, as Mary J. Blige tells us to.

- Uh-uh. - Yuh-huh.

Well, anyway, thank you so much for joining me for a meal

but, no, I'm now a failure, too.

How about if you drank this drink,

This is about you now.

You're very kind.

You ever get that feeling?

(laughs) Yeah, I-I get it.

Totally. Forward-looking. That's the way to be.

Shoshanna, I like you, okay?

She's my daughter, I love her,

No, I promise to make it short.

And it's everything that-that you... th-that we-we wanted.

- Shanaz: Good idea. - Yeah, thanks, Av.

- (laughs) - I love you, and I've got to tell you now

(laughing)

I was so selfish and, like...

Today was the very last day of my life

you want to suck a dick now?

Hannah goes for drinks with Fran, a new coworker, before attending an unusual art show. Later, she spends some time alone with Mimi-Rose, while Adam is unnerved by Mimi-Rose's friend, Ace.

It's just so crazy. It's like I'm going on a date.

So the sexual tension doesn't, like, overwhelm the evening.

Like, deep in the Bronx, you know, teaching the kids who can't be taught,

And he was like, "Huh, sixth grade."

But he... but he was there. He was on the periphery.

I just sold it really well.

She texted me back. "L-O-L, I don't hang with sluts."

I mean, it was offensive, I'm sure,

Are you kidding? This is terribly wonderful.

Oh, um, hello, Marnie, Desi. This is Fran.

I love the way you think.

This might be shocking for some folks,

before this gets really fucking weird?

No, I came here to see my friend Marnie,

You can hang out with your friends everywhere else.

No, I don't think that's necessary.

- Ace. - Yeah, okay.

I'm gonna wear mine till the morning time

Why? - 'Cause I want you to get to know each other.

Her whole thing, man.

Okay, fuck this. We live together.

Adrift in the river of Mimi-Rose.

I mean, the show was perfect. It was Beyoncé to me.

using hologram technology that she invented.

That would be great. We need to try a different route.

Adeem, I'm so sorry I asked you to turn.

This is totally bogus, okay? Let's just hop in another cab.

Oh, it's probably me. I don't wear deodorant.

So, why are you mad at Adam, if you were mad at Adam?

because I'm gonna buy all this stuff and I really, really, really have to pee.

Go! Go!

It's actually a pretty great poem. You want to hear it?

We don't need to talk about it. I don't want him back.

Okay, and how would we go about discussing this?

Okay, you are insane, and that's insane.

unlike what you do, which is not art.

It was a picture of this little girl.

But I think it's so easy for us to get so wrapped up in ourselves and our own lives

Well, it sounds like you know what you're doing.

I know that you hated my show.

Fuck, no!

is so that I could get Ace.

- Congratulations! - Oh, thanks. Thank you.

Some soul-searching leads Hannah to an epiphany. Meanwhile, another disastrous interview for Shoshanna ends in a positive; Ray attempts to solve his neighborhood noise issue at a community board meeting; Marnie and Desi disagree on how to define their sound; and Adam is shocked by a revelation.

If you want me to market this,

Actual jobs.

And I started it with my two best friends, Jeremy and Simon.

- Thank you. - Scott, Harvard alum makes good...

allocations going to the drive-up

That's a cute model, honey.

I'm just asking you to buy a few more lamps

I think it has to. This is...

Thank you.

And if half of our set is a syrupy love song,

You're blowing my mind right now.

- No, I like the song. - Could that be it? Are you sure?

- That is my mode of transportation. - That doesn't change anything.

They still say that Columbus discovered America,

Gotta sweat that out.

or use a tampon or have intercourse for, like, a week.

I'm not gonna ask you how many girls you've gotten pregnant.

I really do.

wondrous kind of very angular, slim person.

I guess the thing that's bothering me the most

has the ability to effect change.

Well, you made your mom happy. That made you feel good.

I just... this is like a wow moment for me.

- Was it a boy or a girl? - My cousin's baby's a girl.

Crazier things have happened. People do crazy things.

without talking to me first.

I had just gone as far as I could go in Iowa, you know?

I'm gonna forgo all of my dreams and ambitions for his,

Plus, he's a total asshole as it turns out.

Yeah, it's true. You're so selfish that when we lived together,

100%. Mother Teresa loved being famous.

- Girl who gets killed in a Lifetime movie. - Wait.

All three vacant properties

Can... a motion to adjourn and we'll pick up where we leave off next week.

All day. You wanna know why?

So I would like to procure a motion

Shame on you!

and your general managerial ineptitude.

Says the man who'd probably stop at a bar and cheat on his wife.

when you tuck me in and you kiss me.

You don't ask me how you look or whatever.

I care about my butcher. I need my butcher.

that's better than needing you because it's pure.

and learning their names like I know mine.

Friends try to help Hannah through a crisis; Hannah and Adam have an honest conversation about the status of their relationship.

- Can they hear us in here? - I don't know.

And now it's here and I have nothing to do with it.

- I want to die. - No, you don't.

Mimi dash Rose space Howard.

Um, wait. Holy shit.

- I need to finish it, Shoshanna. - I think that it... no!

tell her her services are no longer needed.

I told you about her, right?

Jessa, I'm 100% sure you really didn't.

I mean, what's... I don't understand. What's the problem?

which is a good thing.

You have officially gone psycho.

The place is seething with intruders.

Come, step into the light, my dear.

What kind of tea

Mm, Miss Mimi-Rose. Oh, Mimi-Rose.

Oh, huge heart.

And there is nothing sexual about this at all

Okay.

with no possible solution, like a Rubik's Cube.

You deserve justice.

and the self-appointed mandarins and fellow travelers

- so practical, that a failure to realize it... - Ray, look.

No.

I get that, but I reject the idea

Someday, you guys will be, too, believe it or not.

You do not deserve this.

I found myself distracted.

Hello, Marnie. Glad to see you're a person who still exists.

So, yes, when I was nine, I broke up with someone

I'm in the shower!

and we've had a lot of nibbles from this label,

And I'm sure he should not have moved on as quickly, but he did,

I know that, and it's fucking hard,

but he doesn't know jack shit about fuck.

We tried this all different kinds of ways.

and there was a time

but it's what happened.

I don't know yet.

Okay.

Hannah is confronted by her classmates after leaving a non-apology apology letter in their cubbies. After being rejected at yet another job interview, a frustrated Shoshanna spends a day with Ray. Creative and romantic tensions between Marnie and Desi reach a breaking point.

Great.

I just don't understand why nobody tells you

[Song playing]

Once they play it on the radio a billion times

and suddenly it just seems so trivial.

This article made of pictures

Yeah, and inexplicably, it's green for about four seconds

- [Honks] - You know that, right?

irreparably!

- Who wrote the letter? - It doesn't matter.

Well, I personally feel very offended.

workshopping each other's emotions.

So you're saying that it's our fault you can't write?

You didn't even go to your cubby.

What about that was an apology?

- Woman: What's your problem? - Every man has his breaking point!

in the dark corner of the American experiment.

Yeah, I'm precise and focused. I make lists.

you know, what... a simple apology letter.

I think I could just... I could be happier.

What?

♪ Stars are stories ♪

You know, Marnie, things don't have to be weird between us.

And this time, actually play, please.

We cooked, watched TV.

'Cause no one leaves.

Well, no one else has to live in your mind.

does it feel different than your other T-shirts?

- [dressing room door closes] - So, Ray...

Okay, try me.

and sometimes that's even stronger for some people.

'cause it makes me think that I might be capable

Come away with me and we'll get on a plane,

I feel the breeze rustling every hair on my chest.

Ray: Okay.

and be like, "Hey, Billy, you don't know me.

All right, thanks for shopping with me.

[Sobbing]

That's so beautiful.

and I think that she's already fucked him.

because you knew that she was eventually gonna dump you.

♪ We belong to ♪

Hannah has a lot of free time but nothing to do with only one class a week, while Elijah makes his mark on the Iowa social scene. Back in New York City, Ray warns Marnie about Desi's intentions before they meet with a record label; Shoshanna has a job interview; and Adam gets mixed up in Jessa's world after an AA meeting.

And you are definitely-- definitely not in any kind of relationship.

- "Fevers and rashes"? - Yes.

I don't know.

Look, even if this knot were to somehow untangle itself,

And we've already established he has one massive character flaw,

allocating trend jewelry,

And fun, right? Am I crazy to say that?

Um, actually, I don't know if you will.

( Marnie and Desi on recording ) ♪ And I will walk with you ♪

♪ I will call you home. ♪

- I start shooting a movie in a couple months... - Really, any time.

- What's the sex like? - Oh, my God!

I'm just kidding. I'm-- I mean, that's great.

from having those stupid conversations about fuckin' zero.

Man, you could've got your dick sucked.

standing between him and a crack pipe.

- You derailed the whole meeting. - Don't be a drama queen.

Come here. Come here.

You're talking about the intimacy.

- a musical future together. - Yeah.

Yes, you have, but that doesn't make it okay.

is exploring and embracing your freedom

So it's my sober birthday next week-- four months.

Well, make another one then, no?

You're a liar.

Okay, cop, cop, cop, cop, cop.

You're under arrest. Do not resist.

Zed, Zed, do another bong hit,

I really don't feel good. I think I have mono.

And then I thought,

Is that the quote?

Yeah, but Marnie wrote like half those papers,

Well, I was a dancer, but you don't see me five-six-seven-eighting

This side of the room needs to be sexier.

Yeah, that wasn't just because of the blowjob, Hannah.

female authors have been dealing with for centuries.

Being pigeonholed isn't fun.

Thank you.

If you keep writing about prison in the South,

We don't mention D. August because he's the golden boy of our program

Guys, this is what history does to us.

I think it's better that you guys chew on all this without me.

We didn't do anything.

You cretins owe me three grand.

Hannah moves into a new place and is thrilled with the amount of space she can afford, but struggles with life as a grad student when her fellow workshop writers don't give her the feedback she expected.

I'm telling you, Iowa's incredible.

Don't start. I'm not gonna tell you.

go into to the hospital, you would let me know.

so it's, like, homemade, and so that I'm always with him.

I'm a graduate student, so that's not really my situation anymore.

Normally, you would do this...

"She comes home after work

Man, I would literally cut my arm off or pay you everything I have

so I just want you to feel free to quietly leave the room

I let him press his thumb so hard into my neck

because it seemed to really trivialize

Like, I tried writing my notes for Hannah last night,

as a work of fiction.

We know that, right?

- Five words. - No, I know it's hard, but just not yet.

- You coming? - Do they have onion rings at the Fox Head?

I'm not stressed!

They really attract, like, the lowest common denominator who don't want to write.

Because in the real world, let's just say you were to actually get "published."

Stories can be very powerful, Hannah.

You don't know what you're talking about.

when you put your tongue on my cheek,

- Should I pause? - Hello?

- Hi. - Honey, what happened to your phone?

There are a bunch.

Just like cutting off your own wrist.

- Wait. - We'll call you right back, okay, sweetie?

two people asked me if I was Blake Lively's husband.

Honestly, New York was just too grotesque.

Elijah, I would love to go to a rager, but I'm sorry.

Uh-huh.

I'm sorry. Here, drink this. Drink this.

Get her!

Hannah has one last dinner in New York with her parents and Adam before packing up to leave for the Iowa Writers' Workshop. Meanwhile, Marnie and Desi play a jazz-brunch gig for a tough crowd at a downtown restaurant; Shoshanna's annoyed by her parents after getting her diploma; and Jessa clashes with Beedie's daughter over her caretaker status.

But truth be told, I'd sort of like to be in jail for a day, you know?

You have all of the knowledge, but none of the language

What's your favorite utensil?

on, like, a cool, soft, pillowy cloud?

so maybe you can just order me pancakes and Turkey bacon.

Yo, where you at? You wanna come see my new place?

Wait, so you lied to me?

She's, like, a life addict.

And, Hannah, you got to come over and see Marnie's new shitbox.

Remember when your new episodes are out with TVShow Time for iPhone and Android

I will never be bored as long as there's Halloween.

but I'm just realizing that this road trip is not a metaphor.

- Can you turn the TV off? - What?

so I can stay on schedule for my publisher, okay?

(Laughs )

Okay, that is an incredibly lame dare

Night time.

Okay, but we're in the room with another person, so...

I'm not being grumpy.

Shosh, you can come back, okay?

No, about the fact that we're not really helping Jessa

She just does that for fun.

It's 100% "Phil-a-pee."

and then one day, she got really sick.

I was like, "dude, I've got to go. I have finals."

Oh, my God. Not at all.

And it's really liberating to say no to shit you hate.

Shosh?

Hannah needs so much and you give and give and give like a Saint.

that you'd departed already

A look in which I communicated,

unless you have something to smooth out

- Hi. - Hi.

Sure, I just need to check with the police

but she said you were coming here for her.

At your father's house with no way to get home.

that this is not okay behavior for a friend.

So, please...

(Laughs )

Cool.