The Big Bang Theory

Leonard and Koothrappali escort a heartbroken Wolowitz to Las Vegas, and Sheldon becomes locked out of his apartment and must stay with Penny.

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- I've never been there. Have you? - Me? No.

#2

Now? Right now?

#3 #4 #5

I'm just in a good mood.

#6 #7

which would reduce Wolowitz to a wheezing 97-pound blister.

#8

Well, enjoy your big evening.

#9 #10 #11

Black case, top compartment.

#12 #13

That's not an email. That's Leslie's Facebook page.

#14

Just go. I'll catch up with you.

#15

if you get lucky, I'll sleep on the moon.

#16

So, how did the beautiful mind of Sheldon Cooper

#17

You went in my... Why would... What are you saying?

#18 #19 #20

This is the real happiest place on earth.

#21 #22 #23

Yeah. I really need to talk to you.

#24

Okay, I hate to break this to you and whatever your "jammy" is, but...

#25 #26

Whatever.

#27

"My life is meaningless. My future is without hope."

#28

She's exactly his type; a hooker.

#29

"I may open this $20 jar of peanuts and end it all."

#30

Are you trying to make small talk?

#31

That's not going to interest me at all. Just eat.

#32

If you're not busy, we were thinking maybe you could...

#33 #34

where they shoot from the hip and keep it real.

#35

You want the girlfriend experience.

#36

I don't know, Sheldon.

#37 #38 #39

What I've observed, however,

#40

without developing an emotional attachment?

#41 #42 #43

Hi, there. Howard Wolowitz.

#44

It wasn't the first suggestion that came to mind,

#45

"There was a tall man from Cornwall

#46

that you promise to zip your hole for the next eight hours.

#47 #48 #49 #50 #51

That's the spirit, Howard.

#52 #53

You guys go ahead. I just have to finish up an email.

#54

That's not an email. That's Leslie's Facebook page.

#55

She's saying she dumped me. People need to know I dumped her.

#56

But she did dump you.

#57

Grow up, Raj. There's no place for truth on the Internet.

#58

Just go. I'll catch up with you.

#59

We should have a plan in case one of us gets lucky.

#60

Okay, if I get lucky,

#61

I'll take her to my stately manor outside Gotham City, and...

#62 #63

Hang on. I think the emergency key is around here somewhere.

#64 #65

You should get a bowl.

#66

forget his key in the first place?

#67 #68 #69

and you guys weren't home and I forgot it there.

#70

It's not a big deal. I was making coffee and I ran out of milk.

#71 #72

Leonard said I was crazy, but I knew that carton felt lighter.

#73

I will call the building manager and he'll come open your door.

#74

Eat? My dinner? In your apartment?

#75

Sure. Why not?

#76

and go skinny-dipping down at the creek.

#77

'Cause today's the day to stop making sense.

#78

Thanks.

#79

free drinks brought to us by a bosomy barmaid

#80 #81 #82 #83

Dude, check it out! That's laundry for a month!

#84

Hi.

#85 #86 #87 #88 #89

So, you interested in a little party?

#90 #91 #92

Michaela's inviting me to a party.

#93

You better call the moon and make sure they have a bed for you.

#94

Yeah. I really need to talk to you.

#95

Excuse me. I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere. Don't move.

#96 #97

What's wrong with you, dude? That woman was all up in my jammy.

#98

Okay, I hate to break this to you and whatever your "jammy" is, but...

#99 #100

Let me put it this way: In your entire life,

#101

and asked if you wanted to party?

#102

Maybe I can save her.

#103

Maybe, but I'm guessing it'll cost you about $500 an hour to try.

#104 #105

It was lovely meeting you. Best of luck in your future endeavors.

#106

Whatever.

#107 #108

Howard's losing it.

#109

"I'm at the bottom of a black hole staring into the abyss.

#110

"My life is meaningless. My future is without hope."

#111 #112

USA Today calls them "exuberant fun for the whole family."

#113 #114

She's exactly his type; a hooker.

#115

You know, I bet if we hired her, that would cheer him up.

#116

We're not gonna get Wolowitz a hooker.

#117 #118

"I may open this $20 jar of peanuts and end it all."

#119 #120

I suppose it wouldn't hurt to get an estimate.

#121 #122

Are you trying to make small talk?

#123 #124 #125

They shifted my schedule around at the restaurant,

#126

That's not going to interest me at all. Just eat.

#127 #128 #129 #130

If you're not busy, we were thinking maybe you could...

#131

- We were wondering... - If you're really a prostitute.

#132

I'm a prostitute.

#133 #134 #135

The thing is, we've got this friend, and he's kind of down in the dumps.

#136

And we thought maybe you could cheer him up.

#137 #138

How when you beat around the bush? She's from the mean streets

#139 #140 #141

where he doesn't know that you're a, you know...

#142 #143

Yes. Yeah, exactly. The girlfriend experience.

#144

could we have the Jewish girlfriend experience?

#145

Okay, that's question 20. You have to guess.

#146

I don't know, Sheldon.

#147 #148 #149

I was Spock.

#150 #151 #152

Where did that even come from? Did he say we were?

#153 #154

Just mail, no benefits.

#155

Why are you asking?

#156

On its face, the idea of satisfying one's sexual appetite,

#157

assuming one is afflicted with such,

#158

that seems eminently practical.

#159

is Howard Wolowitz crying like a little girl.

#160

Some people just can't handle that kind of relationship.

#161 #162

without developing an emotional attachment?

#163

I really... don't want to talk about this with you.

#164

Is this conversation making you uncomfortable?

#165

I don't particularly excel at reading facial expressions...

#166 #167 #168

All right, where are these amazing shrimp?

#169 #170 #171 #172 #173 #174 #175

Esther Rosenblatt.

#176 #177

I don't think the manager's coming tonight, so here.

#178

Are you suggesting I sleep on the couch?

#179

but it's the one I'm going with.

#180

I can't sleep on your couch. I sleep in a bed.

#181

beloved children's book, The Tall Man From Cornwall.

#182

What?

#183

"whose length exceed his bed.

#184

"there's no room for my big Cornish head."

#185 #186

All right, I will give you my bed on one condition:

#187

that you promise to zip your hole for the next eight hours.

#188 #189 #190 #191

Turn-ons? Let me see.

#192

long walks on the beach...

#193

and getting freaky on the Sabbath with a bacon cheeseburger.

#194

Really? Me, too!

#195