S3 E1
Status
Continuing
Next episode
4 months ago
Airs
Thursdays 8:30 PM on FOX
SEASON
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Season 3  "New Captain"  3x1

Aired 6 years ago - Sep 27, 2015

After Holt is transferred to the NYPD Department of Public Relations, the new captain's arrival causes the precinct to dissolve into chaos, despite Terry's best efforts to keep everyone on point. Meanwhile, Jake and Amy face the aftermath of their "for reals" kiss.

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Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 1
Hello, Raymond.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 2
I'll turn this place around just like I did the Nine-Nine.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 3
Wonderful.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 4
I love my life.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 5
which lowers my life expectancy from 103 to 64.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 6
namely that I've been wasting too much of my time
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 7
Each one is equipped with a GPS system
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 8
Your 55 minutes starts right...
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 9
Fine, but I am gonna play the hell out of some backgammon.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 10
Uh, because you guys just kissed on that mission.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 11
Nobody wants you turning into another Terry.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 12
It's never gonna happen, Boyle, okay?
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 13
A lot of my jokes rely on that.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 14
You also got a haircut
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 15
Yeah, me too.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 16
So we broke a rule.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 17
We are not leaving these seats until you give me some deets.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 18
Ugh, Jake, no one wants to hear about your sex life.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 19
Your head would explode.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 20
You tell me.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 21
but all they wanted to do was talk about my dating life,
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 22
that we were one and the same...
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 23
Hey, everyone stop talking about Peralta's personal life.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 24
I know you've been working
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 25
And not a minute later.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 26
Very well. My thoughts are...
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 27
They're carriers of disease,
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 28
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 29
and had sex on the first date.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 30
- Let's go. - Okay.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 31
I had it on my desk, but I kept spilling coffee on it.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 32
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 33
long, long, long, long, long...
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 34
work ethic.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 35
that may have caused Dozerman to be startled?
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 36
Right, the surveillance tapes.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 37
Amy was the gym floozy.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 38
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 39
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 40
Ideally? Bullfighter.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 41
Madeline, the PR department is a joke.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 42
This man is a Timberlake,
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 43
Do we need to get the costume altered,
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 44
I hated him more than any cop I've ever known.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 45
That's my job.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 46
Jake, is this a bad idea?
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 47
Maybe that's what it needs to be right now.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 48
No, no, no, no, no!
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 49
We were just being cautious.
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 50
and you bring a fancy bottle of lavender shampoo,

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 2
I'll turn this place around just like I did the Nine-Nine.
#2
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 3
Wonderful.
#3
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 4
I love my life.
#4
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 5
which lowers my life expectancy from 103 to 64.
#5
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 6
namely that I've been wasting too much of my time
#6
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 7
Each one is equipped with a GPS system
#7
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 8
Your 55 minutes starts right...
#8
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 9
Fine, but I am gonna play the hell out of some backgammon.
#9
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 10
Uh, because you guys just kissed on that mission.
#10
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 11
Nobody wants you turning into another Terry.
#11
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 12
It's never gonna happen, Boyle, okay?
#12
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 13
A lot of my jokes rely on that.
#13
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 14
You also got a haircut
#14
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 15
Yeah, me too.
#15
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 16
So we broke a rule.
#16
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 17
We are not leaving these seats until you give me some deets.
#17
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 18
Ugh, Jake, no one wants to hear about your sex life.
#18
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 19
Your head would explode.
#19
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 20
You tell me.
#20
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 21
but all they wanted to do was talk about my dating life,
#21
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 22
that we were one and the same...
#22
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 23
Hey, everyone stop talking about Peralta's personal life.
#23
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 24
I know you've been working
#24
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 25
And not a minute later.
#25
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 26
Very well. My thoughts are...
#26
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 27
They're carriers of disease,
#27
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 28 #28 Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 29
and had sex on the first date.
#29
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 30
- Let's go. - Okay.
#30
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 31
I had it on my desk, but I kept spilling coffee on it.
#31
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 32 #32 Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 33
long, long, long, long, long...
#33
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 34
work ethic.
#34
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 35
that may have caused Dozerman to be startled?
#35
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 36
Right, the surveillance tapes.
#36
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 37
Amy was the gym floozy.
#37
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 38 #38 Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 39 #39 Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 40
Ideally? Bullfighter.
#40
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 41
Madeline, the PR department is a joke.
#41
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 42
This man is a Timberlake,
#42
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 43
Do we need to get the costume altered,
#43
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 44
I hated him more than any cop I've ever known.
#44
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 45
That's my job.
#45
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 46
Jake, is this a bad idea?
#46
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 47
Maybe that's what it needs to be right now.
#47
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 48
No, no, no, no, no!
#48
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 49
We were just being cautious.
#49
Recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 50
and you bring a fancy bottle of lavender shampoo,
#50