A self-loathing, alcoholic writer attempts to repair his damaged relationships with his daughter and her mother while combating sex addiction, a budding drug problem, and the seeming inability to avoid making bad decisions.
Aired 15 years ago - Oct 29, 2007
As Karen's wedding to Bill nears, Hank struggles with accepting what appears to be inevitable. Bill informs Mia that he will not allow her book to be published and Hank has a unique solution to dealing with Becca's surprise visitor.
I should have been set up
for such a momentous event
- I need those actual tampons.
- Bye now.
I wasn't trying to steal her tampons.
I was trying to buy them off her.
- We're on our way to the wedding.
- She's not married to your father,
a roofie or two,
she's not going anywhere.
not given the current national climate.
That's not what this is about...
A baby arm is very big, Marcy.
That's gonna hurt.
'Cause believe me, once you've seen
the love of your life
Okay, either I'm
really fucking baked,
"national climate and
whatnot," but that's good news.
but, hey, I always knew you had a
little bit of kink in you.
And you gotta hit that shit again.
Give her some of that daddy dick.
- I handled the fuck out of that shit.
- You did?
All those things that weren't supposed
to happen... They happened.
We should cut this part from
the ceremony. It's totally antiquated.
- He's obviously the guy for you.
- OK, I am so fucking high right now.
If you marry Karen, you'll always
be staring down the barrel of Hank.
It's fucking fiction, people!
There's an idea.
but you've got a good heart.
Once upon a time, I saw my favorite
writer in a bookstore and...
How you holding up, daddy?
Shucking your hairless clam.
I don't know what
I was so afraid of.
Aired 15 years ago - Oct 22, 2007
Charlie and Dani represent Mia after she wrote a book that seems to have come out of Hank's feather.
Becca decides to move out of Bill and Karen's home to live with her dad Hank.
I want to live with dad.
Becca's moving back in with me.
Well, uh, that is news.
'Cause I don't use that term loosely.
You're such a good friend.
then I could pump this till
I'm blue in the face.
I don't know what else
happens, but that's one scene.
unable to hear me knocking.
No!Of course not.Why would I do that?
I can be a dick like that sometimes.
Get out of my house, 'cause I
don't want to see you right now!
you, I don't need to
talk to,but I know you.
Like after the meeting that
victoria flew in from New York for?
Have I ever been wrong about this shit?
Oh, my god, look at the
potty mouth on this one.
Oh, is mia back from her meeting yet?
Nah, this is important stuff.
whether she doesn't know she's
ripping my heart out,
she'll be begging you tobring
her back home, I promise.
You know, I think I'd appreciate your
particular brand of humor a lot more
How'd you get ahold of it?
You're gonna get caught,you know.
Yes, but I never set
out to hurt you, mia.
The girl's gonna sell five million
copies based on the jacket photo alone.
um, for me to wash on
the weekends or whenever.
And so it begins.
You know, it's not gonna be any
fun here without you.
I'm going because I have to.
Yeah, i guessed that.
Like... this person and I are connected somehow
I didn't know she was Bill's daughter... and i thought she was in college.
If I say anything, if I do anything about this shit
Aired 15 years ago - Oct 15, 2007
A new threesome including Hank and Charlie evolves from a meeting at the gym, while Karen and Marcy have a girl's night out at which they decide to surprise Hank and Charlie.
Aired 15 years ago - Oct 08, 2007
After the funeral of Hank's father Al, Hank comes back to L.A. with a new manuscript, that he wants Karen to read. After receiving a bonus paycheck, he buys a new car for himself and a new guitar for Becca.
You're very, very good.
I don't want to get your hopes up, guys.
Not that blog shit. That's why
I was in New York for so long.
- Yes, of course.
- Fine, then it's settled. There it is.
Well, words is all I have left
to play with.
then you wouldn't be holding
that big, fat wad of cash.
- That explains a lot, actually.
- Get it washed then.
- Why is that?
- I'm thinking you intend to give that
You wrote something? Okay.
It's a short novel. It's a modern-day
answer to "Lolita," really.
I hunted and pecked
like a motherfucker.
- A hostile...
- No, I'm browsing.
this penile implant on wheels,
so you're done with me.
I'm not a big car guy.
It's hard. It's very shiny.
I suggest you brew
one of your special teas,
Whatever you want.
- You need some help?
- No, he's an old friend of mine.
Yeah, well... you gotta do
what you gotta do, man.
Bill, that really bothered me.
like a little "Brown eyed girl."
Sorry. Can I read it?
I convinced these
lovely little N.Y.U co-eds
Well, kudos to Hank. He's a writer.
Things have been just really fucked-up
around here. You know it, too, right?
where we thought we needed a threesome
to get ourselves back on track.
Or -- wait. What?
You -- what? You don't?
- Maybe I'll even be an agent someday.
- I know about everything.
rock out with my cock out?
You didn't fucking read it.
Aired 15 years ago - Oct 01, 2007
Hank's father dies. Despite the memories of his father floating to the surface, he doesn't want to go to the funeral. To ease his pain, he goes to bed with a hooker named Trixie, despite the fact he doesn't have enough money to pay her. Meanwhile, Karen does her best to help him overcome the pain.
She's dead, pop.
So, what are your thoughtson rehab?
We're trying to determine if
she is a professionalsex worker.
Well, I don't knowwhat to do with
that exactly, but thank you, I guess.
He was a fucking asshole.
If he wants to tuck his
I don't know, seemed likea
nice enough guy to me.
You haven't read them.
Okay, couple minutes?
Good for you.
Well, I would be lyingif I didn't say that
there were moments thatI thought to myself,
He's paying me very well.
You better be careful,karen.This
onewas sex on a stick.
Would that I could,my love, but I have to
go downto san diego to see an old friend.
are you gonna bea trumpet
player or something?
Because that's exactlythe type of shit that
put my motherinto an early grave, that's why.
Do not -- do notturn
this around on me.
How is that any different from
redesigning scriptsfor assholes?
No, you're fucking hurting me.
You deal with this
shit.You don't run from it.
What, I was so bad?
fuckin' smack meover the head
with a shovel right now --anyone.
the lesson here iskeep the family
together and fuck around on the side
Every time I geteven remotely close
to you, you run halfwayacross the room.
I don't give that shit away.
I don't even want to godown that road.
The talking and the
fuckinggo hand in hand, hank.
I-I-I know what you mean,and
I'm doing the best I can.
And I thought I'd be
different,but I guess I'm not.
"I know you writerstake liberties, "
"More importantis how
you treat your family.
"Maybe you were right.
Aired 16 years ago - Sep 24, 2007
Hank is disturbed by Becca's negative reaction towards the concept of happy endings, even more so when he finds out that it is partially his fault.
Marcy comes up with the idea of a threesome with Charlie and Dani, but it ends unexpectedly.
It's not vanilla, but you
can punish me for that later.
What say one day soon we lay off mine
and start discussing yours?
But I wouldn't want to leave you out.
It seems more...
then all this guilt I've been
carrying around for weeks...
So I'm told
by the Fredo Corleone of agents.
Do you know how much shit I had to take
for directing a frothy little rom com?
Ttrue. She is.
Do you know why I wanted to
work with you again?
- Excuse me?
- Her, me, you.
- Yes, Dani, hold all my calls.
- Very good, sir.
Either way, I'm out one fucking
secretary and up a giant lawsuit.
Someone from the salon or I...
What about Karen?
you know what I mean.
It's always been a dream of mine
to see inside this house.
What do you think?
- I mean with Becca.
- Her too.
- Invite me over.
when we lived on Charles Street,
among the gays.
I don't know.
What do you want me to say?
You want me to say, "I love you,
Oh, that's right. I heard it last week.
Where did you get that bra?
That is so cute!
You don't know this guy.
He's a sex crime waiting to happen.
I think he's dan... Just let me drive.
That's kind of the point, isn't it?
You're attached to the fucking chain!
It's all an act.
Who's your primary care guy again?
Now that I've maimed you,
where am I gonna rest my head?
She barely knows you.
What does she care?
- You're on the side of the perv, right?
You want to say good night to Becca?
Aired 16 years ago - Sep 17, 2007
Hank spends the night with a sexy surfer girl and in return she robs him.
Mia wants more of Hank's writing to pass her class, instead he offers her to help her with her own writing.
Charlie wants to spice up the sex life with his wife, but she is not as fond of spanking as Dani is.
It's just human.
My records! Oh, the humanity!
Yes... No, if you want lesser work,
I dropped an Advil on the floor
earlier and couldn't find it.
It was nice to see you, Mrs. Runkle.
Yeah, well, that was CAA.
everybody was fucking everybody.
That's it, baby. But take your time.
- Just seat.
- The "Keith Richards President" one.
Are you crying?
He's coked out of his mind,
he's trying to get me into a threesome.
You're a one-on-one kind of guy.
Tap that ass, dude. Go for it.
it's not like I talk about
my love life with my assistant.
I'm just trying to, you know, mix things up a little bit, like you did today.
And the slave does whatever
the master tells her to.
Or maybe you would want me to drip
hot candle wax on your nipples.
Look, baby, I'm in.
- Okay, okay, let me rub it.
- That hurts.
to help pump her stomach when she od'd.
- he saw a spider.
- A spider?
He does. He makes me really happy.
Well, that is a hell of a way
to sum up a decade-long love affair.
Well, aside from Becca, of course.
I think that's why I go in
for the kiss all the time. I know, yeah.
If I can make you laugh like that,
why can't we be together?
How you can be so fucking beautiful
and so fucking wrong?
Oh, my God!
Calm down, girlie man.
Are you okay?
You're being kind of weird.
Aired 16 years ago - Sep 10, 2007
Bill asks Hank to step in as a guest speaker at Mia's creative writing class. During a radio interview, Hank talks about his writing and motivations. Meanwhile, Becca develops a crush on her guitar teacher Dave, but he ends up with Mia.
I'm sorry, baby.I'm
sorry.It's just --
What the fuck are you doing back there?
I've got to get to work,
okay?I'm gonna be late.
I wouldn't have answered, but
you could've left a message,
Oh, shit, bill.
Are you stoned or drunk?
Well, I was hoping that you
might consider stepping in for me.
telemarketing, pharmaceutical sales,
Okay, girls, let's thank hank for
coming in on such short notice.
slower this time.My -- my
fleshy T.A.Didn't hear you.
So, what do I do?Write screenplays
like the rest of the fucking herd?
Not so much with the character
development.And the prose was a little stiff.
Oh, god, you don't understand.I
could've been there for hours.
Look, just be careful of
him and those of his ilk.
Well, hello, dave.
You know, you could use
the bathroom on -- or not.
wait for the new guns n' roses album.
it's more like pissing out
of my ass than anything else.
People -- they don't
write anymore.They blog.
But once you master them,
She's really into it, too,
which is really cool to see.
We got a killer bassist.
And sometimes a little ass play is
not only welcome, but it's appreciated.
Uh, no, I was just about to.
you might notice that you've
got a couple of your own.
is definitely a symptom
of a much bigger problem.
I just slipped into a
past life for a second.
Hey, you think I might, uh...
She is pissed at me.
You know, it's not fair to say
"B.R.B." And then never actually B.R.B.?
So, you're gonna blow this whole thing over
my issues with the language of cyberspace?
He left his wife.
Shut up.We were using each other, hank.
if I didn't think you were re-entering
this hopelessly dysfunctional relationship
In another lifetime, we would
have been a scorching couple.
I hope that you come try to find me.
Aired 16 years ago - Sep 03, 2007
Meredith convinces Hank to escort her to an environmental fundraiser. Coincidentally Bill and Karen are at the same event, where Karen makes a scene. Also, Hank runs into Dani and Charlie while they are in his office.
Does that feel like apathy to you?
Well, that's understandable,
but this thing came up.
Just when I thought we'd agreed
not to get her a cellphone.
Well, if it's a date and not just
a random hookup, I guess I approve.
I wish.I got this fucking fund-raiser
at the agency I got roped into going to.
There's your agent.
Hank, if I depended on you and
you alone for my commissions,
Speaking of which...where's marcy?
Hey, do I ask you about
marcy's sexual proclivities?
Then, I think you just
answered your own question.
Got me out of a horrible
which I believe is part of
our sordid sexual history.
And how is this not a virtue?
I'd be interested to see what you
write about this little shindig.
Will you excuse us?
The trick is coming up
with good story ideas.
"I see," said the blind man.
I'm listening.I'm kid chaos.
Because it seems like, once you get
laid, your life basically turns to shit.
Whoa, back it up, lady.
- He's trying to be decent.
- No, he's not.He's trying to be a dick.
Oh, look at you, you
dirty, little animal.
Hey, take it easy there, diane arbus.
"How much of a big, fat clich?can I be"?
I've certainly grown very fond
of you.But I think that's --
I'm just a big fan of
the lady in question.
" So, maybe you're the one
who needs to be cut loose, pal.
You're good, you're good.
For a radical environmentalist
such as yourself,
- I'm sorry.Go back to sleep.
Aired 16 years ago - Aug 27, 2007
Hank and Todd Carr, the director of "A Crazy Little Thing Called Love", the movie adaptation of Hank's book, start a fight, after which Hank ends up in jail. Bill bails him out and Hank finds a new connection to Meredith. Meanwhile, Charlie learns about a different side of his assistant Dani.
I wanted to come.
Some rude, disrespectful jackass
who can't get out of his own way ?
Keep the job, Hank.
Get back on your feet.
You read books, and you didn't want
to die 5 miles from where you were born.
A couple of weeks.
I'm offended. How about tonight ?
Question: does the carpet
match the drapes, Hanky-panky?
- you never published around, somewhere.
- No, nothing.
Let's get some breakfast.
Just a lot of vitamins.
I got whole...
keep writing, keep doing
what you were put on this planet to do?
images you don't want floating around
your pretty little head.
Thanks for stopping by.
Then all of a sudden,
you get a little tingle,
I just can't whore myself out to the tall man anymore.
Okay, you see what I'm getting at here?
Unintentionally man-inspired boner...
The guy's richer than god.
He doesn't want to cut it in half.
and I bring Cat Stevens
over to the house.
We're gonna fix this.
Not a seed, not a drop of juice
From now on, if I make a mistake
or I screw something up,
Ah, yes, I don't think I've ever dated
a woman who had a job before.
I didn't have the heart to tell you,
but that's not Cat Stevens.
Look what a mess I've made.
You don't sound too excited.
I wouldn't want to erase the fact that,
once upon a time, I used to love you.
Aired 16 years ago - Aug 20, 2007
Becca invites Hank to her Mom and Bill's house for a dinner party with some mutual friends. After he arrives, however, he realizes that Karen has planned a little setup for Hank with a scientologist friend of hers, which doesn't thrill Hank all that
much. But, Hank gets a nice laugh out of it after the rest of the party people walk in on him and Sonja in the bedroom. Hank also gets a little news about the job he recently accepted.
Aired 16 years ago - Aug 13, 2007
We meet 30ish year old Hank Moody in a church asking God to help him get his life back on track. He is then distracted by a hot nun. Moody also has to interact with ex-wife Karen who might still love him. With her, they share the custody of their 12
year old daughter Becca who is wise beyond her years but is starting to have a sex life, which freaks out both of her parents.
Yes, it's very quid pro quo...
All I need to do is to find my pants.
No pants anywhere?
- Are you kidding me?
- You guys work it out.
I'm not wearing any pants but
I would like to invite you two ladies
It's not wether you win or you lose,
it's how you play the game.
I mean you spent all this time
sweet talking me into the sack but
That's the look that
shrivels my testies.
In what universe is fucking someone
Okay, are you trying to
make me throw up now?
- I do, I need you... baby...
- No, no, no...
Don't I get some say in this?
And don't let the door hit you on
your soon-to-be huge ass on the way out.
God forbid you should
pass up a fucking call!
who's so in love with himself
that he hangs out
for sure, absolutely...
She's a lesbian. Thank god.
Then, why are we discussing
You'll talk to her
she'll wind up pregnant.
You know, I did have a very hot dream
about a nun the other night
What the fuck is going on with you, man?
- I'm naughty, too.
- I read, Hank.
Hidden Hills, Calabasas
or something like that?
and get married so you decided
you should loose the weight,
I can still make it at home in time
to watch America Next Top Model,
Okay, okay, I'll be right there.
It was gonna happen, sooner or later.
I want you in my life, I...
We were great once and you know it.
I do recognize you...