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The League

S2 E9
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Season 2  "Expert Witness"  2x9

Aired 14 years ago - Nov 11, 2010

Andre prepares for his turn as an expert witness in Ruxin's big case, but thinks Pete is trying to steal his thunder. Ruxin tries to ferret out collusion between Kevin and Jenny. Taco needs a nude portrait to impress the courtroom artist.

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Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 1
I'd be willing to do that.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 2
'Cause Ellie doesn't need Mike Bell.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 3
Yeah. You are good.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 4
You know you're not in The Great Gatsby, right?
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 5
When I'm on the witness stand, what says "expert witness" more, this or this?
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 6
- Okay, I got this. - Okay.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 7
Can you please state your name and occupation for the record?
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 8
Don't holster the guns, don't take the guns out.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 9
And I liked what I saw, and I want that written down in the record.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 10
I'm very credible. What is going on, you guys?
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 11
I would never want to do that.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 12
And we have a loving marriage.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 13
Oh... I'm just digging through your computers.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 14
Sad little man, no!
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 15
Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 16
The Holy Stromboli. I've tried; I shared it.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 17
Taco, you seem happy.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 18
This is a sex sketch.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 19
It's got to be very sexual. Quid pro quo.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 20
Andre, you shave shaft.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 21
And I know that Kevin tells you everything.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 22
What do you... That became that because of that.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 23
Enter, Taco.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 24
Let our work together begin.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 25
Does it look good?
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 26
And as you can see, the cold has not reduced the bend.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 27
Your team name is Password Is Taco, so...
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 28
How do you actually do that?
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 29
You need to relax a little bit. Loosen up your shoulders.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 30
- I'm having second thoughts about the vest. - I told you not to wear the vest.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 31
Oh, Mike Bell had a big week, huh? Did he?
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 32
Have a nice day at work, my little Mozart.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 33
A fair amount. Fair amount.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 34
Are you paying more or less for this new place than the old place?
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 35
ask very directly is... would you say that your life is markedly
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 36
is that your life is more difficult now because you're pretty?
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 37
My name is... my name is Slim Shady... No.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 38
I am a plastic surgeon.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 39
And how would you say the plastic surgery is?
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 40
Uh, 90%... Oh... ...of women... It's soupy. Look at him.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 41
What?! No! No!
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 42
and sweet because we've all got better things to do.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 43
Do you know this woman?
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 44
Oh, it's German for "The Thing."
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 45
Order! Answer me!
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 46
I want to see you in my chambers now.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 47
I need to talk to you. Come here.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 48
Until they shit on the carpet one too many times.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 49
Okay? So I'm not really capable of doing more than what we were doing.
 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 50

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 2
'Cause Ellie doesn't need Mike Bell.
#2 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 3
Yeah. You are good.
#3 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 4
You know you're not in The Great Gatsby, right?
#4 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 5
When I'm on the witness stand, what says "expert witness" more, this or this?
#5 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 6
- Okay, I got this. - Okay.
#6 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 7
Can you please state your name and occupation for the record?
#7 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 8
Don't holster the guns, don't take the guns out.
#8 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 9
And I liked what I saw, and I want that written down in the record.
#9 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 10
I'm very credible. What is going on, you guys?
#10 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 11
I would never want to do that.
#11 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 12
And we have a loving marriage.
#12 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 13
Oh... I'm just digging through your computers.
#13 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 14
Sad little man, no!
#14 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 15 #15 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 16
The Holy Stromboli. I've tried; I shared it.
#16 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 17
Taco, you seem happy.
#17 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 18
This is a sex sketch.
#18 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 19
It's got to be very sexual. Quid pro quo.
#19 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 20
Andre, you shave shaft.
#20 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 21
And I know that Kevin tells you everything.
#21 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 22
What do you... That became that because of that.
#22 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 23
Enter, Taco.
#23 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 24
Let our work together begin.
#24 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 25
Does it look good?
#25 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 26
And as you can see, the cold has not reduced the bend.
#26 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 27
Your team name is Password Is Taco, so...
#27 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 28
How do you actually do that?
#28 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 29
You need to relax a little bit. Loosen up your shoulders.
#29 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 30
- I'm having second thoughts about the vest. - I told you not to wear the vest.
#30 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 31
Oh, Mike Bell had a big week, huh? Did he?
#31 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 32
Have a nice day at work, my little Mozart.
#32 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 33
A fair amount. Fair amount.
#33 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 34
Are you paying more or less for this new place than the old place?
#34 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 35
ask very directly is... would you say that your life is markedly
#35 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 36
is that your life is more difficult now because you're pretty?
#36 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 37
My name is... my name is Slim Shady... No.
#37 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 38
I am a plastic surgeon.
#38 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 39
And how would you say the plastic surgery is?
#39 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 40
Uh, 90%... Oh... ...of women... It's soupy. Look at him.
#40 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 41
What?! No! No!
#41 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 42
and sweet because we've all got better things to do.
#42 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 43
Do you know this woman?
#43 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 44
Oh, it's German for "The Thing."
#44 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 45
Order! Answer me!
#45 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 46
I want to see you in my chambers now.
#46 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 47
I need to talk to you. Come here.
#47 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 48
Until they shit on the carpet one too many times.
#48 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 49
Okay? So I'm not really capable of doing more than what we were doing.
#49 Recap of The League Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 50 #50