Status
Continuing
Next episode
TBA
Airs
Sundays 20:00 on BBC Two
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 13

Aired 8 years ago - Aug 02, 2009

Jeremy and James attempt to create an advertisement for Volkswagen without falling out with each other. Richard tries to pursuade people that the Vauxhall VXR8 Bathurst is an alternative to German sports saloons. Jay Leno is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.

Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 1
It's an Outback choir, you've got the tenor of the supercharger,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 2
Presumably from oversteer, to, "Oh, dear, we've just crashed!"
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 3
well, I've been on the go some time and it hasn't happened yet.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 4
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 5
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 6
Is that your idea of consumer advice? Yes.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 7
And the Bathurst is just a supercharged portable drift machine.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 8
for anyone whose business is selling pegs and heather.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 9
They can't win anything, even an egg-and-spoon race.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 10
that over here in England people might start picking up those little electric gee-whizzes,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 11
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 12
Does that mean that if he gets better - and, God, we're all praying he does -
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 13
Nissan Micras? You might be right, yeah.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 14
I believe this to be a Chrysler Neon.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 15
You say that. I think I'd actually direct quite a good porn film.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 16
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 17
At the heart of all good Volkswagen advertising, there is always a product truth.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 18
Just the fit and finish of everything in here is superb. Yes.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 19
The bottom line is this - this particular Scirocco is a good car, ruined.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 20
Not VW Scirocco less interesting.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 21
"Especially if you talk sense."
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 22
So, it's faster than you might think.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 23
Yeah, that happens a lot.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 24
James then decided we needed a jingle.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 25
It's pretty fast.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 26
Happily, we had an idea which would save the day.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 27
The rest of the ads didn't go down that well, either.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 28
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 29
A funeral! Job one, get ourselves a black Scirocco.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 30
OK, madam, this is where we'd like you to cry.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 31
Get the wheels straight.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 32
So...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 33
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 34
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 35
Now, this is a brilliant car, there's no denying it.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 36
I want the ladies and gentlemen to see this.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 37
slept with somebody called Muriel who's married to Frank, who has one of these.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 38
No, he drinks lager, what's wrong with that? He drinks Stella. It's just lager.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 39
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 40
What can I say about my guest tonight? As the star of Rain Man, Top Gun, Days Of Thunder,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 41
Right. Which makes you... No, it's the other way round, isn't it? Yeah, but I'm somewhat dyslexic, so that's
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 42
We're never more than 60 miles from the Queen here, are we? We're 60 miles from the Queen.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 43
OK. And they go, I've got a Honda Accord, and my wife's got a Toyota Prius, OK?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 44
Thank you!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 45
All right, so, we're driving along. Guy goes, "Go up here in the hills, there's no traffic."
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 46
We don't get that at the Goodwood Festival Of Speed. A couple of gang members...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 47
Helen Mirren, where is she?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 48
Not bad. Yeah. Oh, that's quick!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 49
There we go, Jay Leno, everybody!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 7 (S13E07) - 50
Aired 8 years ago - Jul 26, 2009

Jeremy, James and Richard are each given a budget of £3,000 to buy at auction, a car built before 1982. They then drive to Majorca to take part in a classic car rally. AC/DC's Brian Johnson is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.

Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 1
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 2
That long, priapic bonnet
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 3
Actually it doesn't feel like a pair of turbos.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 4
but since I'm now doing 140 mph...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 5
The best thing about this car, though,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 6
and flopping down on a sofa made out of Chuck Norris.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 7
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 8
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 9
that the whole car is pivoting around your hips.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 10
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 11
In fact, I'd rather have one of these
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 12
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 13
(That is a brown Datsun.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 14
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 15
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 16
I'm on the straight and I'm UNLEASHING 326 horsepower!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 17
Eat my exhaust fumes dinosaur!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 18
a shortened, more powerful version of the old 350.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 19
especially when you look at all the equipment it has.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 20
So, In the 4th Gear, Yes, wanna change to The 2nd
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 21
That's very simple and very clever. - I like that.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 22
It's got 26 more horsepowers for a kickoff.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 23
And even this GT version,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 24
THIS is a RACING hen!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 25
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 26
And it's not a nice noise, either.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 27
you'd never get invited to a wife-swapping party.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 28
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 29
you have to have to one of these for the rest of your life,"
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 30
Some say that on Thursdays he becomes incredibly bulbous...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 31
.. and that recently pigs in Mexico have started to die of something called "Stig flu".
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 32
And they're off! I have to say, these cars aren't really comparable.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 33
Yep, no problems at all.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 34
Hard to tell really with bagpipes. Anyway...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 35
But at least he's OK with the gear change
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 36
So It's the Datsun got there, Follow-Through.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 37
The BMW kicking out its tail again!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 38
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 39
1 minute 28.2.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 40
less exciting, more expensive and less well-equipped.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 41
telling drivers to pull over at the next junction, get out
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 42
It's like going to the cinema and a sign says, "
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 43
"The railway station is next left. "-
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 44
I tell you what. You know the Government announced earlier this week that 60,000 people
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 45
swine flu is getting a bad press. Well... Have you noticed?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 46
but look at it this way, parking spaces for the rest of us will be easy to find.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 47
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 48
He looks like a male model. Look it is. He's absolutely magnificent to behold.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 49
of the man who runs Porsche. Here he is.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 50
"Yes! That's a good-looking car. We should make that. "
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 51
cos VW can make a good-looking car - a good-looking sports car. In fact, remarkably,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 52
about two years. It's worth having a look at.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 53
but it's incredibly beautiful and, as a result,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 54
is it's got cameras in its head lamps. looking forward
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 55
But it doesn't turn off when you're going along on the road.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 56
wow, choosing which one you want,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 57
You're not allowed to talk on a mobile phone these days
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 58
got into London that other day, go on Holland Park a very pretty girl in the car behind.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 59
So it's got lech-o-matic?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 60
Last week, a piano was accidentally dropped on a Morris Marina as we were filming.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 61
were absolutely furious. They went berserk.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 62
Now that's what they said last time, OK?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 63
"If I see Jeremy Clarkson in the street,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 64
and shooting them through his own head!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 65
there was doubt as to who actually owned the car that you ended up driving.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 66
because Carla Bruni went to Nelson Mandela's birthday party in New York
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 67
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 68
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 69
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 70
There was a yes over there. The thing is, though,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 71
which is famous for being nowhere near anywhere else in the world.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 72
be the usual series of small challenges but one big one.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 73
'where, inside the shed... ' All right, mate?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 74
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 75
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 76
At auctions in the past, normally I'm the one at the back, drunk out of my mind,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 77
Here we go. What is that?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 78
Who'll start me? 500? Quickly!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 79
I'm doing what they did in nightclubs in Yorkshire. 700, I'm bid.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 80
That's mine. You bought it?! madman! Look at the back of it
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 81
and the first girl that's breathing you go to her and go,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 82
'The next lot was a tasty Ford Cortina. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 83
I'm not sure. I want a convertible.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 84
'Several terrible cars came and went. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 85
'And Top Gear's auction new boy went mad. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 86
What are you doing? 3,400. 3,500.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 87
How much have I paid for it? GBP 3,600. I've got 600 of my own money in that?! Yes, sir.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 88
'unlike James, who, as car after car went by... '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 89
James, it's in budget. You like the colour.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 90
Did you just bid on that, you halfwit? Yes.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 91
but it's got the wrong engine so it's not worth much. Watch this.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 92
7,000... So, Captain Cautious, what are you gonna do now?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 93
What?! The very last lot.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 94
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 95
You've got no... 900 quid?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 96
It's a lovely colour. 1,500!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 97
Look at it in here.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 98
The first thing they're going to say is you're running on...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 99
'And it was a damn sight bigger than Jeremy's classic. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 100
It's a hairy-chested man's car. No, that's the big Healey.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 101
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 102
'Still, at least my car wasn't medieval. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 103
What a dismal racket.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 104
"on the sunshine island of Majorca. "
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 105
My steering wheel's on the wrong side of the car.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 106
They're those ones where you have to get from A to B on difficult roads
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 107
I dunno.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 108
and the hood here doesn't fit properly. Other than those tiny things,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 109
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 110
'I discovered something amazing. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 111
they were making Hillman Humber Standard
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 112
he was a coach builder. He built this car!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 113
'still not going very fast. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 114
'Meanwhile, I was getting acquainted with Granddad's craftsmanship. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 115
No. Granddad didn't do the gearbox. That's a Daimler gearbox.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 116
My granddad didn't build that bit. That was somebody else.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 117
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 118
Everybody knows a horror story about someone who bought a car at an auction.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 119
'Unlike Richard, whose MOT inspection was now finished. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 120
It's a wonder you got here with it.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 121
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 122
Most of the shackle pins and bits and pieces are very badly worn indeed...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 123
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 124
I've had worse than that! Oh, blimey.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 125
it is time to put a star in our reasonably priced car.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 126
He is the lead singer with AC/DC.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 127
What a star! You've come!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 128
cos everybody knows Jagger, Daltrey, David Van Day.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 129
I think the band... It's just the way we do things.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 130
Cos when I said Brian Johnson's coming on the show to friends,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 131
We can live a normal life, you know.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 132
Mike, the helicopter pilot that went down.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 133
His pals knew that AC/DC were his favourite band,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 134
and took his shirt off and waved it out the window
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 135
That is a fantastic story.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 136
Is that not...? Since I was a kid.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 137
It drove him nuts so he went to the scrap yard and got a steering wheel
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 138
Although there was wallpaper up there, I couldn't see it.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 139
the original cars that you finally got once you were old enough, they were all what?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 140
which had a beige exterior and a salmon pink interior.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 141
You presumably go through the Mini phase at that point. Mini phase was very important
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 142
I put them little spready things on the back wheels, and I put go-faster stripes on.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 143
You could get their...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 144
And obviously then AC/DC came along.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 145
I bought an old Triumph Roadster, 1948.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 146
I go for the paper in it, you know.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 147
Sometimes, you know, when you're going round a corner,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 148
Do you have a favourite road? Is that something you still...?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 149
there is a place is called Haydon Bridge,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 150
I've always had to get out and pee on the brakes.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 151
and he promised all the kids, he said, "Thanks for helping," cos they helped.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 152
Really a million. Yeah.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 153
and I went outside and there was this little concrete plinth
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 154
They were really upset and the translator came and I'd just pissed on Sputnik.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 155
Er, a Phantom.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 156
When I turned 60, I thought, "I'm gonna get meself something special. "
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 157
Yeah, aye, but...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 158
The best time I've had since I started.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 159
Yes!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 160
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 161
That was good. Nice and easy, like gravy.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 162
You're being smooth and violent at the same time,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 163
# Oh, you must remember this... #
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 164
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 165
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 166
but you just looked quick. So.. Where do you think?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 167
so this is What, just about there.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 168
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 169
You did it in, well... One... forty...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 170
.. five... Oooh!point nine.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 171
Brian Johnson, everybody!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 172
Brian Johnson, 1:45,9,Brilliant!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 173
Great singing voice, nice chap,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 174
What a man! What a man!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 175
Earlier on, we bought three classic- cars from an auction.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 176
Anyway, we then discovered, after we'd bought the cars,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 177
for something called a Regularity Time Trial Rally, which was in Majorca.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 178
getting the Lanchester his granddad had built to work.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 179
On a classic rally, you need
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 180
They've... I'm not worried.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 181
We weren't wrong. James had been given Madison Welsh
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 182
No, I've never done it! Seriously?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 183
he is the president of the Balearic Motorsport Federation,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 184
The mountain... roads.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 185
no comprendo
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 186
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 187
so the idea is we get points deducted for being early or late
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 188
and then we saw the cars we'd be up against.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 189
10911s, 11, 12...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 190
And then we got even more bad news...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 191
we were out there. So, yeah.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 192
I don't know how this has happened. - I imagine it's James's fault,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 193
So, even before we'd started, we knew we had no chance of winning.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 194
I bet you?25
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 195
with the wrong co-drivers and the wrong cars...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 196
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 197
Not got a lot to talk about.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 198
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 199
My speedometer is saying I'm doing 60mph when I'm doing about 30... No, 20.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 200
When we stop at the next bit I'll write down some speed and distance formulae for you
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 201
You can use the two stopwatches,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 202
Actually, there is a slightly, um, oily smell.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 203
Hello?.. Hello!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 204
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 205
So we'll then have to go faster to make the... We will have to go a lot faster, and um...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 206
Jeremy, meanwhile, was getting into the spirit of amateur rallying.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 207
We then arrived at the first closed-road stage,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 208
This... at what speed? Quant o...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 209
It's difficult to do this without actually getting hold of the work of the divine potter.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 210
I decided to just do it flat out.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 211
'This made Joan very angry!'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 212
Tranquilo, tranquilo. Rapido.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 213
and that one is then timing it to the next one.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 214
Yeah.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 215
THUD Ouch! Suspension's good then.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 216
Can't see, can't... I've no idea.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 217
'which meant Joan had to do yet more sums. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 218
But I bet the conversation in the bar at night is fun.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 219
'In fact, the only person enjoying this less than me
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 220
and that is a decimal... What? It's 0.85. Times 0.85 by 60.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 221
'Brian and I had finally arrived at the first stage.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 222
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 223
So I'm driving about half the speed- my car can go in order to win.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 224
'To be honest, though, right now, my money was pretty safe. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 225
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 226
There's hundreds of lefts in it.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 227
'Finally, we were doing our first stage. However,... '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 228
I'll tell you what's happening in front of us. It's straight ahead.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 229
Well, now, erm... OK.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 230
'James was now trying to charm Maddie with some romantic conversation. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 231
I don't know what you're talking about.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 232
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 233
Just after lunch, we made it to the lunch stop,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 234
So, I've got 3,600 points, the lowest points worth.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 235
'To punish Jeremy for his smugness,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 236
because he won't be able to work out how to do that.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 237
I think it's in there. I can feel it.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 238
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 239
When I say short, I don't mean that... I'm not being rude.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 240
my lunchtime smugness was starting to look premature.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 241
'This meant I'd have to choose one gear for the stage,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 242
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 243
Dale, dale! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 244
I can't reach 50 kilometres an hour- on this. It's impossible.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 245
OK, if you say so.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 246
Anything to let me know about? No.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 247
Come on, you should talk to me.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 248
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 249
I'm losing the brakes. Perfecto. Vaya, vaya.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 250
We've finished. Yay! Yay! Is that good?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 251
7.46. Yep. Spot on.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 252
I just meant that's what it is.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 253
And a bad smell.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 254
'James and I had no problems though
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 255
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 256
Please. Sorry, it's really lovely but I can't see the cars coming.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 257
Come on, please, traffic. Please, please.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 258
sit in a plastic chair by the side of the road, go to bed.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 259
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 260
'just hour after hour of pedal to the metal action.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 261
serving as a reference time for the following three rounds...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 262
If you break down on your first lap,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 263
Oh, God! Have you seen the oil raining off my chassis?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 264
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 265
he would kill us. Yes, he would.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 266
'And I decided, because the Healey was stuck in third,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 267
'James, obviously trying to impress- Maddie was being more vigorous. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 268
Your teddy bear on the spare wheel is not entirely helpful.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 269
Oh, the temperature's right up as well.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 270
'we were all starting to enjoy ourselves. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 271
you havenot to work for late You can be who you are,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 272
'the Lanchester seemed to be behaving as normal. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 273
We did that 29 seconds faster.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 274
was having 'the time of his life. '
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 275
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 276
'was run calm and steady.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 277
I've got a big Mustang up my trumpet.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 278
O- o-o-o-oh! Power!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 279
No-o-o, no-o-o, no-o-o!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 6 (S13E06) - 280
Ah-ha! You weren't ready for that!
Aired 8 years ago - Jul 19, 2009

A budget of £1,500, a rear-wheel drive coupe and some French ice. Jeremy drives the new 500bhp Jaguar XFR. Sienna Miller is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.

Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 1
You actually hit him in the plums!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 2
So it's done an indicated 103,000 miles. And do you know what? It feels as tight as a drum.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 3
So, is that thing gonna follow us in the usual... It is, isn't it?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 4
This opened the floodgates.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 5
"And so, the Stig will now set a lap time in a very French and very front-wheel drive Renault Twingo 133.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 6
Was that the crummiest start you've ever seen from a human being? It wasn't good.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 7
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 8
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 9
'the producers were ready with their next challenge.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 10
Remember to brake at 60, remember to brake at 60, you stupid boy.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 11
What's Val Thorens?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 12
That's the conclusion they've come to, and they've come up with this!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 13
Great idea, but the problem is, you just happen to know, this has been invented by a brilliant man.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 14
Nobody gives a pig's arse about all that Diesel stuff.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 15
"Awfully sorry."
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 16
For 210 miles per hour.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 17
It could be worse if you had your wife in the front, and both daughters, and you sat in the back.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 18
There are no scoops.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 19
That's unbelievable!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 20
'To keep it planted, it has an electronic diff like you get on a Ferrari.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 21
He can rev to 8,000, I can only rev to six and a half.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 22
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 23
And he's off! 503 Welsh horsepowers!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 24
Now...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 25
Well, Alan Titchmarsh might say so,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 26
You thought Greenpeace would save the world, but no!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 27
because carbon dioxide is building up and they need to build something to get rid of it. Remember?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 28
We're gonna pop the prong in the top because the gas is going down there,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 29
but he persevered, and I'm sure, if science can make genetically-modified wheat,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 30
So you were born in... That makes you an Americanista. Well, both.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 31
Lots of guns, leather. It's perfect for Top Gear. Leather? Yes.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 32
Well, he's not called Joe, Joe is an elite force of fighter... world protector people.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 33
That's fantastic! APPLAUSE
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 34
which is a Caribbean island, which is technically part of America.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 35
to do our lap! How was it out there? Did you enjoy it?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 36
Oh, my God! Mummy!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 37
we always say is quick. OK. I beat Gambon, that's a first. You beat Michael Gambon, Alan Davies,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 38
All was perfect in the Porsche too.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 39
I can fix this.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 40
Because if it was ruined, he would have just got in the Marina,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 41
thought of, or driven to in that drab,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 42
Belting up an alp.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 43
That's quite cold now.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 44
Oh, dear, no! That's not gone at all well.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 45
MUSIC: Theme from "The A-Team"
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 46
Look at that! Oh!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 47
'and an old bloke - didn't look like much of a threat either.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 48
'we lined up for the ten-lap race.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 49
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 5 (S13E05) - 50
Aired 8 years ago - Jul 12, 2009

Jeremy is on the run from the British Army, who undoubtedly want to shoot him with an array of ordnance. James and Richard race the Porsche Panamera against the Royal Mail, to see which can travel the length of Britain most quickly. Olympic gold medal winning sprinter Usain Bolt is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.

Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 1
You can actually feel the whole system working through the wheel. It's odd.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 2
with the most amount of practicality for the least amount of money,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 3
Yes, go on. How many horse powers do have in your Renault?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 4
No, that's... Oh, God, I'm sitting on it.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 5
That's not thin. It's lightweight, that's the point.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 6
I don't want any of this on my sports car.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 7
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 8
Craftsmanship. That's good, that's good.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 9
Is that music coming from your Renault? No.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 10
Oh God, I've forgotten.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 11
I bet they wouldn't have called it after him if he'd been named Ken Shufflebottom.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 12
I know, but have you seen this? That's a burning Gallardo!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 13
It's for you. Oh, it's a Zonda.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 14
You would feel that. That could actually quite literally make you sick, decelerating at that rate.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 15
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 16
since it's taken them 61 years to get around to making it.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 17
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 18
830 miles, Go, go, go.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 19
There are five dials on the dash.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 20
bumbling around the sorting office and pressed home our advantage.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 21
Dinner gave me indigestion as did the news from the computer.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 22
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 23
The letter is at East Midlands airport.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 24
2,735,000.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 25
I'm going to do some more time and distance calculations.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 26
Time to see if this thing drove like a Porsche.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 27
However, because it's so fast, it did put us back in the game.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 28
If by some fluke, we beat the letter to Zanzibar cottage our conclusion
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 29
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 30
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 31
N-n-no, it hasn't, and it never will, James, it never will.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 32
It's going to be Usain Bolt for Jamaica. That is superb!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 33
How did you know? How did you know you were so far in the lead you can afford to go...?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 34
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 35
But nor are you!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 36
So I got nuggets!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 37
when I came out, I was barefoot, and I got sticked by prickles, actually.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 38
'Hammerhead - obviously, you've got to concentrate here.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 39
Usain Bolt, you did it...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 40
We'd love to have you back. Ladies and gentlemen, Usain Bolt!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 41
'and fitted variable boost control to the engine.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 42
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 43
'the American special forces, it has a 5.9 litre diesel engine.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 44
Full 360-degree traverse. Accurate to at least 1,000 metres.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 45
I've just found a packet of these in the centre console!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 46
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 47
So he won't be expecting this.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 48
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 49
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 4 (S13E04) - 50
And the judge who banged him up said his car had to be destroyed, OK?
Aired 8 years ago - Jul 05, 2009

Jeremy, Richard and James confront the credit crunch as they attempt to find three sensibly priced small cars that won't make you miserable. James meets American stunt driving legend Ken Block, Jeremy tests the mildly insane Mercedes SL Black, and Michael McIntyre is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.

Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 1
In many ways, then, this is like an American muscle car -
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 2
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 3
And is the McLaren £100,000 faster?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 4
God, that McLaren sounds dirty.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 5
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 6
Smoke coming off the back end!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 7
But the best thing about the Black
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 8
it's a normal SL in here. I've got satellite navigation and climate control
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 9
But it doesn't last.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 10
There is no give at all in the tyre side wall.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 11
You would honestly be more comfortable on a Georgian's kitchen wheelback.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 12
Look! A pile of stones.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 13
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 14
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 15
the traction control comes down like an anvil
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 16
those back tyres cost £358 each.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 17
And I don't know, but I think that rather spoils the point.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 18
There are other niggles, too,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 19
A normal SL can get round here no problem at at...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 20
That means you're going to run off the road
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 21
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 22
and go more than six feet without running out of petrol,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 23
And then we have to go back to the price.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 24
and I'm sorry... but it just isn't worth it.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 25
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 26
Am I right in saying that they've only imported eight of these into the UK? Yeah.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 27
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 28
That means handing it over to our tame racing driver.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 29
he might have been able to raise a smile.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 30
Traction control off because, of course, he can put those tyres on expenses.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 31
Oh, dear. Yes, I'm sorry. The Stig has gone all Scottish.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 32
Just a very big mess in Chicago. So Hammerhead...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 33
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 34
Through the tyres - very, very fast.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 35
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 36
so if we look, it's faster than the original Murcielago,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 37
which means it's faster than a lot of cars that are now...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 38
It looks like that, but the most important thing about it is, for this car, they've invented a new word.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 39
They confessed they've made that up. It's a whole new word. Visiodrive.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 40
would work very well in their own publicity blurb, would they? Like, flimsy. Plasticky. Lightweight.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 41
Box on wheels. What? Box on wheels. That's not very good. That was terrible.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 42
Now, pay attention. OK?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 43
You bought your girlfriend an electrical appliance? Yeah. I got her a power drill.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 44
Do you know nothing?! Women say they want a power drill but they don't. They want soap. No... They do.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 45
Did you hear that, girls? Soap is soap! But it is.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 46
However, the worst thing that you would ever have to buy, ever have to buy a girl,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 47
it wouldn't have the right number of pockets, it would be last season's handbag.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 48
No. The fact is, OK,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 49
"Ring it!" "It's in there. You must be able to see it."
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 50
Look at that. Yeah. Now, that is made from Camaro seats.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 51
"and the next vintage car show you both attend." Ohhhh!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 52
And now it's a handbag. On the other side - you can't see it - are the skid marks... NO! No!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 53
Bear with me, I do get back to cars. It keeps trying to mate with my Labradoodle, and I think
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 54
Sport of melted into one hideous lump. It's a Laverda 3CL.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 55
"Agh! It's horrible!"
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 56
Can I say...? Sorry about this. Moving on.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 57
for what we used to call a lovely summer's day.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 58
You park the car with the engine running, turn the air conditioning off, wind the windows up,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 59
Because earlier today, while we were waiting for all you lot to turn up,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 60
Let's just make it fair, OK?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 61
Oh, yes. It's 53 degrees in our Mercedes now.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 62
98%. Or less.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 63
59.7 degrees.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 64
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 65
Guys...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 66
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 67
if you're going to set these ridiculous heat wave level alerts...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 68
Gordon, they're something else I discovered in that test, if you're watching, and that is,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 69
and put sun cream on.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 70
Guys...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 71
We all know what caused it. Banks were lending money they didn't have to people who couldn't pay them back
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 72
In these difficult times, is there such a thing as cheap and cheerful?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 73
"Right! I'm going to deploy my cheap and cheerful parachute?"
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 74
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 75
Brakes are rubbish.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 76
Honestly, I would rather be inside Paul Scholes.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 77
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 78
so it amazes me that they can make this thing so dull.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 79
I think it's out of a Mark I Cavalier.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 80
The only reason you would buy this car
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 81
I have! I've tried this, the Proton Satria Neo.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 82
the engine's got no power low down whatsoever, but when you move it,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 83
"Oh, no! It's horrible. And look at all this!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 84
At nearly £10,000, the Proton is the most expensive of the three,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 85
so when I move my head like that, all the cars...blbl-bbb-blbl.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 86
and this was an ideal opportunity to show Jeremy one of the Proton's other unique features.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 87
So every time the sun comes out, you then have to open the door? Yeah.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 88
That's a disappointment. That's wrong!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 89
A year ago, we'd have been here with a Ferrari, a Lamborghini and an Aston Martin.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 90
so we thought it'd be a good idea, while we were there,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 91
BMW X5. X5?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 92
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 93
You have! That's what you've done, and now look. Check it out.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 94
Every day, constantly down? Yep. Thought about jumping out of a window?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 95
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 96
It just disintegrated while I was looking at it.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 97
That means that none of them can actually get into their offices and lose all our money!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 98
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 99
RBS - you've been really bad. You can have a Proton "septic nappy".
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 100
Of course, bankers aren't entirely responsible for the problems...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 101
and went to shout at the Government.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 102
V8 not G8!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 103
I can't do that one.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 104
Acceleration not nationalisation... of the banks.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 105
Ker-ching! Hit the banks not our tanks! He means your petrol tanks, if you were confused.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 106
But it was quite hard to understand him.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 107
I think that policeman's quite cross.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 108
But we were fed up too... with our cars.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 109
It's a fact!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 110
Um...I should point out the producers were very angry with us about that,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 111
Yeah, but we said we'd made a film to show just how many terrible cheap cars there are out there.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 112
and this time, choose three cheap cars that we actually like.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 113
Er...over the years, 105 different people have driven round our track,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 114
because that's all about to change. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Michael McIntyre!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 115
Jeremy Clarkson! How are you? Hello. Thank you, Top Gear.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 116
Why do announcers always say, "Put your hands together"? You'd just go like that, wouldn't you?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 117
I gather that, on the way down here, people were offering you advice
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 118
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 119
The drycleaner is talking sense. The guy who drove me here said, "Don't brake."
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 120
Two years ago - Michael who? And now all these girls...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 121
It's being going well lately. My show is on the telly on Saturday night after Casualty.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 122
I'd just like to be on a gurney and then sit up and go,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 123
University. Is it true you can't remember what degree you did?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 124
I know it wasn't physics. Is that good enough?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 125
I remember finding a girl attractive on the first day and thinking, "That'll be the love of my life,"
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 126
My voice didn't break till I was about 23.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 127
She'd come in... Hello?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 128
But I did buy my first car to try and seduce women.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 129
a parked Volvo, which was not... Of all the cars to hit...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 130
He came up to the car and said, "Are you drunk?!"
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 131
To which he said, "I'm at home having dinner. What are you talking about?!"
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 132
At the moment, I have... My wife's car and my car - we have two cars. That's allowed.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 133
I got her an X5, 4x4 car.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 134
I've never had a car with that. "Urr..."
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 135
is the parking sensors, which is brand-new to me.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 136
It's like there's two little people, unseen, and they just go, "No, no, no, no, NO, NO! Stop it!"
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 137
Well, after the Spitfire, I went into some really bad cars.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 138
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 139
then count the miles on the milometer to work out how much fuel I had,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 140
I ran out of petrol, and I knew there was a petrol station quite near and I ran there
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 141
My mind went blank.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 142
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 143
So this was why, I suppose, cos I spent a lot of time with the Metro in the loser lane, the slow lane...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 144
The only way you could feel better about having such a terrible car
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 145
I'd say to my wife, "You see that Porsche?" She'd say, "Yes, what of it?" "I'm having it."
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 146
You pull into the middle lane, you start to get excited, then you get into the fast lane.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 147
There are horses in the slow lane, going, "I've gotta see this. What's going on?"
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 148
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 149
And you always have to look over, when you're overtaking, to see your victim.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 150
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 151
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 152
if I get overtaken, even if I'm home, I will get back out and...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 153
Thing is, though, when we asked if you'd like to come on...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 154
I said I'll try hard to be fast.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 155
ALL: Yes! Come on, let's have a look.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 156
Oh, my giddy aunt, that's...ambitious!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 157
Again, I'm suspecting you're going too fast.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 158
Did you enjoy this? I didn't really... I lost track of time.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 159
You are doing... And that's pretty fast.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 160
that's nicely done! Here we go, just Gambon...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 161
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 162
It was a very ambitious second half to the lap
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 163
Anywhere in the middle, I'd be happy with. As the Stig said, "conditions were perfect".
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 164
..forty... I like that. I'm fine with that.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 165
Marky Mark and Michael McIntyre.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 166
It's in the middle of the whole thing! You are the most average man in an averagely-priced car
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 167
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 168
Now...if you are any sort of a car fan,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 169
Young people tell me he is an internet sensation.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 170
I was told to meet him not at Dunkin' Donuts,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 171
and I suspect he won't be arriving in a straight line.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 172
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 173
Now, by day, Ken is a rally driver.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 174
But Ken prefers to use...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 175
and I think about preflight checks and the problems of weathercocking in crosswinds.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 176
There's not so many places where you have a great mix of dirt and Tarmac and open areas...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 177
Ken has devised a course around this place,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 178
Subaru Impreza rally car
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 179
in the royal box of rallying,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 180
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 181
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 182
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 183
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 184
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 185
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 186
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 187
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 188
Cor, that was nice!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 189
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 190
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 191
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 192
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 193
'As it happens, Ricky is the greatest dirt-biker in history,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 194
Ow!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 195
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 196
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 197
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 198
No, no! Goodbye, viewers!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 199
That's the nose of a DC-2.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 200
Not over there, that's a jump.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 201
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 202
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 203
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 204
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 205
to play on our track?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 206
earlier on, we sort of suggested that all cheap cars are rubbish
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 207
and not take them out again till we'd come up with a cheap car that we all liked.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 208
So, it was time to go down to our track to find out which was best.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 209
That doesn't sound so good, but it's called the Roomster.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 210
This is what I've chosen - the Mito.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 211
But this is an Alfa Romeo.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 212
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 213
just three cylinders and 1,000cc - but it is the most futuristic and modern car here.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 214
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 215
a drag race...obviously.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 216
because, although I have the same power as James has in his Zanussi,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 217
..one year.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 218
He-he-he! Not bad.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 219
'Shortly afterwards, the Indesit finished as well. And then the waiting began.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 220
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 221
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 222
And in 1976, we went to Tenby, hired a cottage.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 223
I've actually forgotten what his car looks like.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 224
This car - faster than a Porsche 911 Turbo.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 225
What about if it was doing 93? That would be against the law.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 226
Says the man in the Indesit! What...come on! Chaps,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 227
The Alfa Romeo, which, if you peel away the body, is a Fiat Punto.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 228
Right, each car is equipped with one of these.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 229
this is a vibration and harshness-o-meter
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 230
Right, good. Good. Let's do it.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 231
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 232
Jeremy, it's a noise test and the machine is picking up your voice.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 233
How big is my victory?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 234
Low numbers are better. Vibration and harshness, Jeremy - 2.1. Yes!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 235
What we're going to do now is a lap of the track.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 236
In fact, I'd lined up Lance, an Irish Wolfhound,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 237
OK, here's how it works, right? Start the clock, then you load the dog into the car,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 238
There is one rule in my test, yes?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 239
But St Bernards always look sad.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 240
'Rearranging the innards of the Alfa was tricky.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 241
One minute 32 and the dog is still not in the car.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 242
'Finally, Phil Drabble was ready to go.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 243
That's it, good boy! Your breath stinks. It's terrible.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 244
Oh-hoh! Urgh!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 245
It's the first Alfa to have Alfa Romeo's new DNA system.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 246
If you put it in All-weather, that lets the traction control know it might get slippy.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 247
'I left everything in very normal.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 248
Does he look sad? No, I wouldn't say that's a sad dog.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 249
Come on, Milly, up, up. There you go. Look at that!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 250
which gives Milly a bit more room.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 251
What it needs is a substantial snack halfway round the lap, say a leg... A head.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 252
At the back, it's a Volkswagen Golf. The engine is from a Volkswagen.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 253
Now, building up speed - dogs don't mind speed in a straight line - they love it!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 254
Delighted! She's had light, space, air-conditioning...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 255
Three minutes faster than you?!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 256
This is one of the most cleverly packaged small cars in history.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 257
so it doesn't intrude into the passenger space.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 258
I think all this will stand me in good stead with my enormous dog.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 259
There's no space at all! The seats go down.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 260
Alfie, come on. Drive like that and hope he can keep up?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 261
'Eventually, James's Hotpoint set off.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 262
The wheels are right on the corners, it's extremely agile.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 263
Nobody, unless they have no legs, could possibly sit in the back.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 264
Gambon corner - he could spin off here at any point.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 265
Look at that face! Oh, that's making me sad just looking at it! That's his normal face!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 266
That's the saddest-looking spectacle I've ever seen and it's your fault.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 267
'With the score at one each, we left the track and headed out into the real world.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 268
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 269
This is an Alfa Romeo, which is Latin for "yes, I will, but only because of your special car".
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 270
There's never a gap big enough for you to pull out
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 271
Sorry, sorry. He's shaking his head and I don't blame him.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 272
OK, we brimmed the tanks down at the track, so now we're in London,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 3 (S13E03) - 273
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Aired 8 years ago - Jun 28, 2009

Jeremy, James and Richard attempt to find the perfect car for a 17 year-old. Normal service resumes in Abu Dhabi with Richard, a Lamborghini Murcielago SV and a race between a Bugatti Veyron and a McLaren F1. Stephen Fry is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.

Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 1
If you're a 17-year-old boy and you need car insurance, slice your penis off.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 2
'The phoning went on, until eventually we had a list of cars that could be bought and insured
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 3
Not much in it and nothing you I mean, look at that
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 4
Can you imagine a 17-year-old in a Suzuki Wagon R+? Thanks(!) 1L.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 5
'So, we got back on the phones pretending to be Dad.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 6
'Finally, we were in business.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 7
'and I was the first to arrive.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 8
It's a Golf and that's really all there is to say about it.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 9
for very occasional use, such as today, when I've just come to see my mates.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 10
Is it an S Coupe?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 11
It's a coupe! It's magnificent. 85bhp,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 12
'a geography teacher arrived.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 13
The perfect car for any 17-year-old. Why?! Why? Y-yes!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 14
They did do a turbo... What is that?! A Hyundai S Coupe
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 15
There's another very important issue that we must address.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 16
Look at the amount of metal between him and the tree he will inevitably hit.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 17
Thank you.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 18
Ha! You've had it!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 19
You? £500. You?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 20
'Two days later, our wheels were ready and I'd gone for the thing girls love most -
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 21
but it's close enough. And I've customised it to fit perfectly.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 22
Well, when I say water bed, what I mean is... Well, it's a lilo.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 23
And then, to finish it all off, some simple, hand-painted turbo motifs.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 24
on exactly what a 17-year-old wants -
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 25
BAROQUE MUSIC PLAYS
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 26
'While he went for a wee, Richard and I decided to improve his car
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 27
What have we got?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 28
We need to glue the whole damn thing, literally every button.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 29
That is... This will brighten his day.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 30
Ooh, yeah.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 31
and the answer to that is yes.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 32
'at the bottom of a very slippery field.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 33
Maybe we'll have converted him? THEY LAUGH
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 34
Ah! This'll answer the question.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 35
"all their camping equipment and stuff into their car
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 36
That has to be medical. It must be.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 37
So, that's a piece of cake. Ah!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 38
Nobody's ever said that before. 'James struggled to get everything in his Golf,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 39
I'm outta here.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 40
'Hammond completely forgot about his new body kit.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 41
'As Hammond and I floundered on the green ice,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 42
James has got the right idea. It's speed, weirdly.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 43
Yes.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 44
Here we go!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 45
No.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 46
Oh, please!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 47
We will pick that up later on. Can I just point out that before we do move on,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 48
Which they will if it's got a body kit on.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 49
And then one day, you'll be in the showers and a big, strange man...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 50
LAUGHTER
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 51
What do you do on a driving test if you don't pass it? You...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 52
A traffic light went red as I came up to it and the examiner said, "Proceed as you normally would,"
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 53
We were going along and all of a sudden, he hit the dashboard
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 54
No, I was being correct. He was anticipating an emergency stop, not an argument, you fool! Was he?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 55
at the other end of the scale from our failure, you turned up with some scissors in your pocket,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 56
That's really what it was. When he said, the man,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 57
what I heard was, "Congratulations,- Mr Clarkson, you are the best driver I've ever seen in my life."
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 58
surrounded by sheep that were no longer alive and bits of what used to be my mum's Audi.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 59
which is important and we got distracted
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 60
To prop up the car industry, the Government is encouraging you to scrap old cars and buy new ones.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 61
to help Kim Jong-il buy nuclear weapons.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 62
the other is a totalitarian regime,- allegedly making weapons of mass destruction.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 63
Why would the South Koreans nuke Hammersmith?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 64
This is an important point. It is more ecological - and this is a fact,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 65
than it is to scrap it, throw it away and build a new one. True fact.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 66
and not Kim Jong-il. LAUGHTER
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 67
Everyone had said it's superbike fast and I thought, "Oh, come on, don't be ridic...argh!"
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 68
They're saying it's got more than 500 horsepower
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 69
That's just staggering. A Bugatti Veyron, to put that in perspective,- is 521bhp per tonne,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 70
It's £100,000, but I don't believe cars can get better than that.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 71
You strap wardrobes, chests of drawers on there and... They've thought about it. See?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 72
That makes the worst noise... What?! It makes the best noise!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 73
It's like driving along - what's that opera singer called - Katherine...er...Jenkins!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 74
Lady Chatterley, goes in the barn with the gardener, in the hay,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 75
That's my point, it's a brilliant noise. The supercharger whine is a mechanical driving sound.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 76
so the cooler will be mine in 19 days, right -
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 77
..the best noise that had ever come- out of a car came out of the stereo- in my 17-year-old Golf
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 78
Actually, while we're on the subject of this,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 79
and the Daily Star, in an editorial, says that we've upset the Scouts and the Catholic Church
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 80
Germans, blind people, anti-hunt protesters and smokers.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 81
How dare they? How dare they suggest that we would be rude to smokers?!!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 82
and I thought, "Why just do it at the track?"
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 83
HOOFBEATS
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 84
But the truth is, the place is shot- through with a love of speed...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 85
'the brand-new Lamborghini Murcielago.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 86
Between me and it is a four-mile, arrow-straight stretch of highway.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 87
TYRES SQUEAL
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 88
150.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 89
Whoa!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 90
or, to put it in plain English... the fastest Lamborghini ever made.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 91
'because a brand-new replacement is coming next year.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 92
'because from every angle, this last hurrah looks absolutely evil.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 93
If a Toyota Prius came up behind and saw that, it would wet its pants.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 94
'So, LP670-4 SV.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 95
The LP stands for...something.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 96
and also, quite a lot.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 97
It's got a lighter exhaust system, more of it's made of carbon fibre
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 98
0-60, 3.2 seconds.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 99
Because that noise...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 100
and it too will die along with this car.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 101
'And I'm not the only one who thinks this car has a human soul.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 102
Here's Mercedes talking about the exhaust on the SL Black.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 103
"a distinctive 12-cylinder sound from the two trapezoidal tailpipes."
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 104
"through the trumpeting of mighty elephants, to the roar of a raging lion."
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 105
You just get the sense that before this car dies, they actually wanted- to make it come to life.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 106
has transformed it into a completely different car.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 107
Don't get me wrong, it's still a big, scary car,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 108
Yeah, this'd be a lot easier if the desert would stay still.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 109
It is!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 110
'..but with the more rarefied and expensive hypercars.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 111
That's an SLR 722 - like an SLR, only more.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 112
'let's see if the 722 can keep its royal status
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 113
TYRES SQUEAL
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 114
Try that on, fella.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 115
Man, this is close!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 116
Whoa! Braking up to the red light quite hard.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 117
I was there, alongside hypercar royalty. Compared to that,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 118
Quite a swan song.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 119
'the Murcielago has become one of the all-time supercar greats.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 120
There's some evidence on these seats that you had a crisis.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 121
Thing is though, you've always said- that your favourite supercar is the Zonda F, OK?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 122
Come on!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 123
LAUGHTER
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 124
top of our leader board.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 125
What? BOOING
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 126
I have to work with that, week in week out.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 127
with German piano wire...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 128
All we know is that's three things he has in common with Margaret Beckett.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 129
Right, coming up to the first corner and he's coming in very hot.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 130
Stig seems to have it all under control at the moment though.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 131
Hammerhead. This is where understeer should rear its head.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 132
And the third thing, obviously,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 133
so that's probably why he's lifted off through the tyres.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 134
this car really is Widow Twankey with a wing.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 135
It did it in...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 136
It's moved up.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 137
It doesn't lie, the F's faster.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 138
He's the voice of the Harry Potter audiotapes, Blackadder,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 139
the only thing we can be sure he hasn't done,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 140
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 141
What you're really saying is
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 142
Yeah, gasp. Thank you.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 143
LAUGHTER No, you're pulling that face,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 144
For example, I've just had Tim Robbins in my ear
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 145
I have no idea. You would know, you'd remember.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 146
without the sound of you wafting out of the children's bedrooms.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 147
It staggers me, you've managed to lose all this weight
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 148
Nobody loses weight in America.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 149
and by about a month or twoafterwards I was at my full 21 stone.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 150
I did. I actually went to the General Motors Headquarters
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 151
Yeah. And he said, "We're still the biggest automobile company in the world."
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 152
And when he went to college to do automotive design
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 153
If he'd tried that in Australia! Oh, yes!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 154
Yeah.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 155
in a time that was impossible if you hadn't driven in bus lanes.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 156
It is illegal for me to drive in bus lanes.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 157
You read that thing, it says from seven till something.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 158
And it says, "Buses and good vehicles only".
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 159
It's like ones that say, "access only".
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 160
Yes, it's become rather a large number.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 161
of a specific type of mobile telephone.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 162
where you can play it as a reco... Have you got that?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 163
This one might not be quite so upyour strata but it's called Grindr.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 164
No-one's going to now. Who made that noise?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 165
When you load it...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 166
and it tells you how close they are.- It says he's 20 yards away.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 167
Let's have a look.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 168
Just making sure mine isn't on. LAUGHTER
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 169
LAUGHTER
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 170
Some of them show rude parts which you won't want to see.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 171
It's a car show, I knew there was something.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 172
I drove in two reasonably-priced cars because the first one,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 173
and we obviously thought that was not safe to have.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 174
It's the second-to-last corner. Yes! Oh, that's a high speed.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 175
OK, there's a third attempt.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 176
Every time, I said to myself, "Smoothly."
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 177
Who here would like to see Stephen's real lap?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 178
It might not be fast but let's make it smooth, Stephen, smooth.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 179
With his... That's fantastic!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 180
because that's a bit of understeer.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 181
except around my face! Ah!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 182
Here we go.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 183
That is bang-on, cutting the corner nicely.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 184
That was smooth.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 185
Who else do you think you beat?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 186
The problem is you were beautifully smooth
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 187
Oh, no!APPLAUSE
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 188
I could give you a hot, it was a hot day and, of course,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 189
Do you know what? I could be guaranteed that Alan doesn't watch Top Gear.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 190
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 191
Earlier on we bought, insured and customised three cars
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 192
when I sort-of ripped the body kit off the back on my Hyundai.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 193
Anyway, coming up now is the most realistic challenge ever attempted on British television.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 194
three hours after we'd said we'd be in, without waking them up.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 195
OWL HOOTS
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 196
Oh, God. Ugh!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 197
WHISPERS: Yeah, this is a professional job.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 198
so that it hides the back and my mother won't see what I've done.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 199
50.4 decibels, that's like custard rustling, absolutely soundless.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 200
Come on. Come on!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 201
Come on, you stupid lump of Swedish lead.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 202
THEY LAUGH
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 203
I might get in trouble.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 204
and they buried it in the summer house. Job done!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 205
Oh, no, no, no!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 206
and there's quite a lot of damage there.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 207
My Mum and Dad, they didn't wake up.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 208
The interesting thing is what James
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 209
JEREMY CLEARS HIS THROAT What?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 210
LOUD TECHNO MUSIC For God's sake! No!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 211
God above!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 212
Can you smell smoke on my fingers? THEY LAUGH
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 213
Oddly though, the man in the white coat was nowhere to be seen.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 214
Sunrise yellow.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 215
This man's destroying your Volvo. Are you going to sort him out?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 216
Mind the body kit!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 217
Ha-ha, "As you are 17, it is certain that at some point in the near future,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 218
"This is to find out how easy they are to repair."
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 219
..and break out the hammers.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 220
Ah! Argh!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 221
watch that disappear thanks to the magic of polish.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 222
and need to straighten a dent, here's what you do.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 223
'Jeremy, meanwhile, was cheating.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 224
You were 17? RS Turbo, straight through a fence.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 225
So, do you think you could use some fireman equipment to make that like new?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 226
it's too middle class.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 227
'..we had made no difference whatsoever.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 228
'Then another challenge arrived.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 229
"round the Hammerhead, do a handbrake turn
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 230
"and you'll have five seconds added to your time for every object you don't hit."
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 231
'that teenagers like to crash into.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 232
'that everyone, except a 17-year-old, can see isn't wide enough.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 233
than a good handbrake turn. God, yeah, fact.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 234
I have no feathers... But I can do this!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 235
'Armed with this new information about women,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 236
That's nice. Yeah.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 237
That's him being rubbish.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 238
'With James cleared off the track, I lined up for the off.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 239
Missed!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 240
My God! That's substantial. Yee-ha!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 241
That's good. Wheelie bins.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 242
There's nothing I can do about the washer bottle,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 243
Yes!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 244
LOUD TECHNO MUSIC Oh, for God's sake.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 245
'why he'd bothered with a helmet.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 246
'But then as he approached the girls, all became clear.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 247
I might as well have cut my penis off for all the good that did.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 248
WHISTLING Perfect.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 249
'So now it was all down to me.'
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 250
35 seconds before he moved more than a yard.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 251
You all right?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 252
That's my line!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 253
Luckily, children, I got better.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 254
Anyway...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 255
LAUGHTER Is that a minus?!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 256
and it's still here! Look! LAUGHTER
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 257
When do you ever see the NHS go, "Oh, that's a nasty head wound,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 258
I got 103.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 259
Yes. Right. LAUGHTER
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 260
Our teenage judges said they were prepared to award up to 5 points for a really good one.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 261
LAUGHTER What happened was...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 262
Jeremy Clarkson, it is now between you and me. Yes, it is.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 263
..nothing!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 264
There's nothing else going for you.- No, come on!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 265
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 266
This is also consumer advice... The door handle's come off!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 267
Yes!
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 268
Anyway, I got nought? Yes.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 269
They did, didn't they? They did. What did they give you?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 270
Fairly beaten.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 271
that the best, THE BEST car for a 17-year-old is a beige Volvo estate with a broken back window.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 272
of the consumer advice for this week.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 273
and, in fact, I'm still there because now it's time for the moment
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 274
the first-ever showdown between the- two fastest road cars of all time.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 275
The meeting point for the most amazing collection of numbers.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 276
and a top speed of 252 miles an hour.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 277
the McLaren F1.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 278
It was the fastest with a top speed- of 240 miles an hour.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 279
The engine bay was lined with gold
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 280
from the 6.1-litre BMW engine.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 281
the McLaren and the Veyron are actually poles apart.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 282
the McLaren gets...nothing.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 283
It's gizmo cupboard is completely bare.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 284
And that shines through in the way they feel.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 285
that well-oiled, mechanical, metallic feel.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 286
HE LAUGHS
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 2 (S13E02) - 287
and get in to the Bugatti Veyron.
Aired 8 years ago - Jun 21, 2009

A race from London and Edinburgh using three different modes of transport. Jeremy will take the Tornado, a modern steam train; James drives the exquisite Jaguar XK120 and Richard rides the Vincent Black Shadow motorcycle. Finally the Stig is revealed (or is he?)

Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 1
at the bar of the Balmoral Hotel in Edinburgh.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 2
all modern superbikes can trace their roots back to this.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 3
I've got to get changed! I'll do that now.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 4
Listen to that. It's a straight six, beautifully balanced...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 5
looking at your central heating system.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 6
At last, again, I was on the move.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 7
but they were already 20, 30 years out of date by 1949.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 8
In fact, the Black Shadow remained the fastest production bike in the world until 1973.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 9
Seat's nice, smells nice, view's nice, noise is nice.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 10
And this, the Vincent Black Shadow,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 11
It's an exquisite thing.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 12
At the next service station, I chickened out and pulled in.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 13
but now it is time to do the news.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 14
You like animals? You're going to spend your life just boof.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 15
That's the Skoda Catholic Church.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 16
and I noticed that my Mercedes said on the dashboard. "Your service is due."
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 17
to survive a trip through your digestive system and still be... Oh, my God.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 18
While that makes it sound like a ladies dress shop in Harrogate,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 19
There we go...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 20
It's the only car I've ever driven,- ever, which is a killer attack dog
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 21
A Toyota Camry.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 22
put together by someone who thinks a Porsche is the bit that sticks out from the front of your house.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 23
50,000? £50,000. It's a lot. I admit, 50,000 is a lot,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 24
this do a lap in the hands of our tame racing driver.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 25
Here we go. And look now, look at the brake discs glowing red hot.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 26
There has been a lot of that going on.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 27
I'm buying time here. Because this obviously is...
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 28
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 29
Well, you have to keep up some secrets.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 30
You're a team and it's always teamwork.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 31
But we had many of those great events together in all these years.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 32
I mean, in life, you always have regrets. You always do certain things
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 33
Well, I have several areas that I fill up my time with.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 34
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 35
So here's a clear message, everybody.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 36
Richard Hammond is on the Vincent Black Shadow, which is the fastest motorcycle in the world.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 37
The home town of the Mallard,
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 38
What's that noise? It's me being told off not use a mobile phone by the man.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 39
The bike running absolutely like a metronome.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 40
I'm by the side of the A1.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 41
Durham Cathedral. We're in Durham.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 42
Only 20 miles?
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 43
Enjoy your time in the lead because it will be short lived.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 44
Dual-carriageway. Oh, God, this engine's good.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 45
Yes, yes, in the car, in the car. Don't worry about the handbag.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 46
You want me shovelling?No, I need to shovel. I understand.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 47
this is a marathon, not a sprint.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 48
Oh, God above.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 49
He's stopping at every station.
Recap of Top Gear Season 13 Episode 1 (S13E01) - 50
signs. Cole, fire, fire, steam, I'm going to have to seriously run.-