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SEASON
EPISODE

Season 9

Aired 17 years ago - Mar 04, 2007

A stretch limo, why hire one when you can make your own? Step forward the Top Gear boys who do just that. On the track, two Ford Mustangs. Have the Americans finally built a car that deserves more than pointing and giggling from smug Europeans? Billie Piper is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.

Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 1
So we'd all got our cars and we'd all found people
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and the throttle controls
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and with James' Saab predictably still in one piece,
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Well, you can. If you had a load of cheese soup before you get there,
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Did you tell him to up the speed limit on the motorway to 150?
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Well, it's whatever the makeup lady puts on us before we walk in.
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But in North Yorkshire,
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But anyway, the leading bid at the moment is from an Egyptian consortium
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I think the Audi is a very polite car.
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Oh my god!
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Then May turned up and boy were we in for a shock.
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Our first task was to test out each other's cars
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it doesn't have quite that same responsiveness.
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It's just making me want to pee.
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It hasn't got one.
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not all limos are used for hen nights,
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Yeah, just on the trigger thing.
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I planned to get into the Alfa end and reverse away forwards.
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slalom down the runway between strategically placed cars
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Which she is prone to do.
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- because you heard a biography was coming out? - Yeah.
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Ok now, just before we move off "Doctor Who", I've got 1 important question:
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and then he covered the bonnet with roses, too.
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It's not for me. I don't like it at all.
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Who'd like to see Billie's lap?
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Where do you reckon on the board that was?
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I would do this like
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around the streets of San Francisco
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biceps straining to burst out of the body work.
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The queues are out of the door and ram the block
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Because the technology is old fashioned
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and then it gets all out of shape on the way out.
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I drove this last year in America and it was just bri...
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 40
and turn them into stretch Limousines
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so I had to do some surgery
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Oh, God.
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We were all now heading for Earls Court
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but I'm afraid I have to ask you to sit in the Alfa Romeo and steer
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but no happier
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I don't really need to see it a third time.
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Jeremy, how are you doing?
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 6 (S09E06) - 50
But I wasn't out of the competition yet.
Aired 17 years ago - Feb 25, 2007

Top Gear presents to you the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640. In an attempt to find an alternative source of fuel Top Gear goes green. Also this week, Jeremy makes a public information film. To the absolute delight of Jeremy, Kristin Scott Thomas is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.

Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 1
You might think it's OK because your granddads alway doing it
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Alway wear this.
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I have a picture of it and it's a thing of beauty, isn't it?
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I'm besotted with it.
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sports seats, low profile tyres, whole nine yards
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- Is it? - Yeah.
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the Fiat Panda, I think I'm right in saying
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And they said "Yes, yes. Of course you can. Come on off we go."
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That might have something to do with
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Well the best of all is it's got this computer, OK.
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It... It didn't look that big on my computer, to be honest.
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And he had to find 1st gear
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- Wrong. - You're getting wronger.
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And it's 1 min now, and he hasn't made it to Chicago.
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- No, that's... Jeremy, the slowest wins. - Rubbish.
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Nice try, but a bit wet.
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the convoy's shaking a bit, shaking a lot.
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But now it's time to put a star in our reasonably-priced car.
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You see, that isn't in the brochure.
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I took a chainsaw to it last week, you're machineguning it. Right, Good.
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Yeah!
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Where do you think you might have come?
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Hyper cars.
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and when you step inside you find
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Taking that away is like taking away the sunshine from a Summer holiday.
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This is not a light car, but my God it's fast.
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If you want those break calipers, these things, you want those painting
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You take one liberty with it and trust me on this,
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Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks.
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That is quick even moving the camera.
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Now, it's Farming Today this week
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And we're gonna plant this, it's oilseed rape.
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And then I went over in my sports tractor.
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Right, we've divided the field up into 3 equal parts,
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Difflock one, difflock two,
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You've done nothing.
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and that sparked one of the great debates of the country side.
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With Hammond's 24-ton runabout bearing down on the nearest village,
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 50
I've hit the telegraph pole.
Aired 17 years ago - Feb 18, 2007

Another day, another Porsche, but will Jeremy be able to tell the difference between this new 911 Turbo and the old one? He also drives the Brabus S Biturbo Mercedes SL. James and Richard try to turn a Reliant Robin into a space shuttle. Simon Pegg is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.

Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 1
I should have called it a Porsche-Dyson
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The new 911-turbo has special variable vane turbochargers that always work, whatever the rev is.
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it feels like I'm drawing a line through the laws of physics
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Top speed, near as makes no difference, 200 miles an hour
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Well, hang on.You've just spend the last 6 minutes wasting our time telling us that's faster, more powerful, lighter
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And now the news. And we begin this week
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then do all your pre-flight checks make sure the air vents are working...
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- Yeah. - It's all down to the work of the Swiss Physicist Daniel Bernoulli. You're familiar with him?
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 9
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If you get passengers with you and they are looking at you admiringly thinking:
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 11
and I said "Oh no no, actually I¡¯m married with 3 children".
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what instinctive reaction should you avoid?
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Fatigue, staying alert.
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 14
But we thought you can do it for a lot less cash if you base your space rocket on a car.
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These were the men who'd helped to send a Mini down the skee jump for the Top Gear Winter Olympics
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What we're doing is testing the principle if you can make all this work, and we and bring it into this controllable landing
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It's the largest non-commercial rocket launched in Europe.
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This I think is the answer.
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Complete with extra rockets in the bottom
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it could fall onto its back in the sky or anything
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Basically We're looking for anything air dynamic than...
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If they are caught short in the town centre
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The other awful thing of course about the Astra diesel is
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 4 (S09E04) - 27
and there were 8 armed police officers in the living room with their guns drawn
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but he was safe, coz he didn't have a "willy".
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I heard, a leap from Hugh Grant there from a couple of weeks ago.
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I mean how can a tuning company possibly make this better than it already is.
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What Brabus do is take the standard Mercedes V12 and then throw almost all of it away
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Traction control just set there go 'This is impossible'
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well, we're gonna find out now by putting it on our track
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Through the Follow Through he can really wind it up here, make up some lost time
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this is a prime candidate for someone to come along and tune it up a bit.
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What does that matter? I don't ... Sorry mate, you don't make any sense...
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But this, the Ford GT can at last come up here, coz I've got rid of it.
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In fact, I'd like to put it in the cool...I seriously, know there is every reason why this is a very very cool bike.
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But that wasn't easy because the launch site is littered with unexploded bombs.
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With Steve now fully protected we went back to the launch site where there was good news.
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(Launch minus 21 hours)
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Finally, the Robin was attached and the completed shuttle made for a truly awesome sight.
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Well it's up, it's built, but it's worth a quick reminder of exactly what is going to happen.
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There have been 1 or 2 delays
Aired 17 years ago - Feb 11, 2007

In this American special, Jeremy, James and Richard are on a fly-drive holiday with a difference. Instead of hiring a car, each has to buy a car for no more than $1000. Starting in Miami, they travel through Mississippi and Alabama and end their journey in New Orleans.

Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 3 (S09E03) - 1
I need something a bit, a bit less than that.
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Very popular with murderers these cars.
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I know, I did, I did. I thought we would just be tripping over Oldsmobiles, Cutlasses and Firebirds.
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This is his other gun. That's not a shot gun, Robert. That's a rifle.
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And came across what must be the most optimistic dealer in town.
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OK. Alright, let me get back to you.
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what he thinks all the Americans have.
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How do they get such a small amount of horse power from a car?
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What size engine does this thing got?
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- What you don't like the Camaro? - I don't. I'm sorry I don't.
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Although there is only one station it'll pick up, which is gospel. Ready?
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it does pull a little bit to the right.
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God, Florida's awful!
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Hahaha... I was expecting: 'Rarara... '
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To raise the Titanic, we borrowed a battery booster.
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- One, two, three, go! - Let it rock, Yeah!
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And so it was time for the next challenge.
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Oh, my God.
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Everybody's very fat, everybody's very stupid and everybody's very rude.
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To help relieve the tedium of the journey, the production office had provided us with C.B. Radios
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All they've got to talk about on that C.B. is the weather, and prostitutes.
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I brought you some presents.
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Right, sit-rep on the Camaro, some of the headlights are working, the dashboard's come off,
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What? You mean road kill?
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Begin, squirrel on the rack, and then maybe... here is my plan:
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So I can't really see where I've been.
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I bet he is having exactly the same emotions.
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But we will get bonus points if we can get one of the others shot or arrested.
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And then Jeremy's written on the boot: NASCAR sucks.
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Listen, listen...The / president. Tha..That's not going down well.
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Very well, you get the leads I'll start it.
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I'm telling you because these strange trucks that were in the petrol station have now just torn past us.
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What with the storm and the rock-throwing rednecks, our fly-drive holiday wasn't going that well.
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I mean, we've known each other like what?
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we sort of assumed that after 12 months the wealthiest nation on earth would have fixed it.
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Jeremy did his usual trick of telling it like it is.
Aired 17 years ago - Feb 04, 2007

The lads try to play golf whilst testing the Audi TT, the Alfa Romeo Brera and the Mazda RX-8. James attempts to take the Bugatti Veryron up to its maximum speed of 253 mph/407km/h.Hugh Grant is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.

Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 2 (S09E02) - 1
cause nighimare after nightmaire.
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You stand here, you can't actually see the other end
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Here we go. I'm approaching the banking on the top of the circuit
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Going too quick, I can't do the math.
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Come on give me one more!
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Absolutely, yeah.
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But the most important thing of course about a Cayenne is
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Err, bar disco and live band.
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The actually official photograph that was sent to it by Renault
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that we'll have to tolerate these things,
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now, not retune the radio at 50 miles an hour, OK?
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do U turns on Piccadilly all day long
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One of the top 5 worst cars I've ever driven. VW Golf GT.
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Hey, now, Jaguar have made a concept car.
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it's more technical as well.
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The ride in the old car was as comfortable as falling down a flight of stairs,
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They are both four-seat coupes,
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using just science and technology and iron filings,
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It's not too slow, it's plenty fast enough...
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So you can crush it mercilessly,
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There're a few disadvantages I admit.
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You seem to look like somebody who've done it...
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I just got a hole in 21.
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You are completely wrong about the Mazda.
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that kind of dithering English man we all know in love
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And great big [beep] cars.
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going past making wanker signs at you.
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- Yes - And said listen
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But you'd hit quite often.
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"I've killed before!"
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it won't follow you.
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funnily enough that was for "golf ball", it was.
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um... but uh... it's not easy, it's not easy Jeremy.
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Oh [beep]
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- Forty - Yes
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I really really like this Alfa Romeo Brera.
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But either of you two got a DSG gearbox.
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Cause it's the best all round of the best compromise
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Did you go to art school?
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Um, one can see influences of the Bauhaus thinking
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It's just not true.
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from the 15th century by Josetsu
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The boffins conferred and then called us all in to give their verdicts.
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- Well, they are wrong. - It's only 'cause I've said freedom. That's what we...
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Right over... oh look at that, you see,
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and now you're telling this's got golf rackets in it.
Aired 17 years ago - Jan 28, 2007

Top Gear returns with the Jaguar XKR up against the Aston Martin V8 Vantage. After spending so many years zooming along the roads of Britain the lads turn their hands to mending them by trying to do a week's worth of roadworks in 24 hours. Also, the 288mph jet car crash which left Richard fighting for his life in September 2006. Jamie Oliver is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car. MORE -LESS

Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 1
Well you know it's a, it's a tissue for if you start dribbling.
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Absolutely, I'm still the same kind thoughtful soul that I always was.
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being escorted by a van with yellow flashing lights on the roof at 10 mph.
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And the council said repairing the 1.5 miles stretch
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The safety lecture droned on for so long that we really had to get cracking,
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the Great Wall of China,
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 7
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And then things got worse.
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So we handed the lorry and the plainer over to the professionals.
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 11
than having 8-hour days, and taking a week.
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and was ready to receive the new layer of tarmac.
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No, well.
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 14
very good.
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I am evolving into a more civilized being by being fatter.
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 16
Li...listen, if I, I¡¯ve never grown anything until 3 years ago,
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 17
- they're all out in the fields, - no.
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 18
And this was the scene that greeted him when he got here, early.
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 19
Here we go, let's have a look.
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 20
but come on, come on, come on,
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 21
7 point 7 seconds
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So you can think of it as the standard car with cufflinks and a nice watch
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 24
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"Well there you go, it's a half-arse car made by a cash strapped company"
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I mean that's doing power slides at like 110 mph, easily!
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stir away on the manual gearbox and you...
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 29
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- Whatever. - I just¡­ I just stayed on the gravel.
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 31
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and Jeremy was fulfilling the vital role
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 34
Just don't send it to them. We need it.
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 35
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Well, your friends're on a 35-hour week
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And in a normal roadworks that would be that.
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 38
I'd installed another motivational tool to keep everyone spirits up.
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 39
Woo, that's bad, we are gonna in trouble.
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 40
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- There you go. Perfect. - There. That's it, finished.
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 42
Here on BBC2 however we got our little fella's car crash
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 43
Because when I do that, it sends a flame, shooting through the engine
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Ok, well, let's have a look what happened next.
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 45
/ / to use the parashute, I need a parachute
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 46
OK, so next time it was the afterburner.
Recap of Top Gear Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 47
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That was quicker. That was 314 miles an hour.
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And then your Mom would shout for you to come in for your tea.
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which is so... here now it's still doing 230 mph when it's upside and down.